Dad Chat
JOHN LOGAN
*Hypothetically.* If one were to “remove” the cheating potato who broke their daughter’s heart, how could one do it without leaving a trace? Asking for a friend.
DEAN DI LAURENTIS
Is the friend named John?
JOHN LOGAN
Yes.
JOHN TUCKER
I am not the friend.
My daughters are capable of murdering their own cheating exes. I’d confess and serve the jail time for them, though.
JOHN LOGAN
So if we wanted to disappear somebody, what’s the first step?
GARRETT GRAHAM
The logistics on this are tricky. Also against the law.
JOHN LOGAN
There’s gotta be a way to get rid of him without breaking any laws. Poison in his protein shakes?
GARRETT GRAHAM
You’d fuck up the dosages. We need something more efficient.
COLIN FITZGERALD
What if we send him to a remote cabin and “accidentally” lock him inside for a weekend? Give him some time to think about his bad decisions?
DEAN DI LAURENTIS
How are you my brother-in-law? That’s such a pussy idea.
COLIN FITZGERALD
I’m excusing myself from this conversation.
JOHN TUCKER
Just looked this up. It’s illegal to lock someone in a cabin.
DEAN DI LAURENTIS
To recap: murder = illegal. Forced confinement = illegal. Who would’ve thought.
JOHN LOGAN
Fine. New goal. MTAC.
JOHN TUCKER
***
DEAN DI LAURENTIS
Why are you like this
JAKE CONNELLY
MTAC?
GARRETT GRAHAM
Make the asshole cry.
JOHN LOGAN
I love you so much, man.
DEAN DI LAURENTIS
Send him a strongly worded letter.
GARRETT GRAHAM
I know the NFL commissioner. I could try to get his rookie contract canceled.
JAKE CONNELLY
That is diabolical, G.
JOHN LOGAN
Don’t call him G. He’s MY best friend.
JAKE CONNELLY
I’m excusing myself from this conversation.