Chapter 35 Blake
BLAKE
THE FINAL DAY OF TAHOE Games comes and goes.
Beau and I do not manage to beat Allie and my dad in the semifinals, which means they move on to the finals, where they utterly destroy Alex and Wyatt.
And because they’re both sore winners, they proceed to gloat for the rest of the day and then go into town to buy a thousand dollars’ worth of steaks.
Everyone grumbles when they announce they’re hosting a barbecue to celebrate themselves, but the steaks smell so good on the grill that nobody can stay away.
Over the next week, the lake house gets progressively quieter.
The Tucker women leave; Jamie and her mom have court cases to get back to, and Alex is jetting off to Saint-Tropez.
Tucker remains, as does Dean, but the other adults all head out, leaving the kids behind, and Ryder has to return to Dallas to prepare for hockey training camp.
I hang out with Gigi, Stella, and Ivy, enjoying Stella’s wisecracks, most of which are directed at the Golden Boys. She refers to Beau as Mr. Perfect, which annoys the shit out of him, but she’s not wrong. He is infuriatingly perfect.
Later that night, we congregate on the boathouse roof, the boys passing around a joint while Stella tosses out mocking remarks—some at Tara, which sail right over the blond’s head, and others at her brother, who fires them right back at her.
She and Gray have a good-naturedly contentious sibling relationship, constantly riding each other.
As an only child, I find it entertaining.
Wyatt is hanging out with his dad tonight. They’re playing cards inside, and I hope Garrett isn’t ragging him too hard about walking in on Wyatt “jerking off” the other afternoon. That was a close call. Close enough that I refuse to take a chance like that again.
I shake my head when AJ offers me the joint. The secondhand smoke is clouding my brain, in fact, so I get up and wander toward the edge of the roof, just close enough to be able to see the water. Not that I have a phobia or anything.
Ugh, fine. I do. Heights terrify me. I can’t believe I stood up here last month, prepared to jump off the roof in the dark because Isaac sent me a text that triggered my insecurities.
When my phone vibrates, I pull it out to find a message from Little Spencer, who prefers to text with an unhealthy number of exclamation marks and all caps.
LITTLE SPENCER
Editing the episode now and it is SO FUCKING GOOD!!! Spence thinks it’s one of the best episodes we’ve ever done!!
I quickly type a response.
I can’t wait to see/hear it! Send it to me the moment you’re done editing?
LITTLE SPENCER
THE EXACT MOMENT!!
I tuck my phone away when Beau joins me, hands burrowed in the pockets of his gray Briar U hoodie.
He doesn’t speak, quietly staring out at the lake, but I sense the tension radiating from him.
I turn to study his profile at the same time as he turns toward me.
His light-green eyes convey frustration.
“What’s wrong?” I ask him.
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Goddamn it.
I shift in discomfort. “Beau…” I trail off, not sure what else to say.
“Fuck. Sorry.” He moves his gaze back to the lake.
I scramble for a way to make this less awkward. “We can’t go there” is what I come up with.
Beau cocks his head. “Remind me again why not? Because as I recall, we’ve already gone there before.”
“Almost four years ago,” I point out. I can’t stop a laugh now. “You waited four years to ask for a repeat?”
“I mean, I thought I made it pretty obvious I would’ve been down for a repeat any time,” he says wryly.
I swallow a rush of unhappiness. I did get that feeling sometimes, but I always ignored it, hoping it would go away.
Not because I couldn’t see myself going there with Beau—we might’ve been good together, actually.
But that’s the problem. I think deep down I knew that choosing Beau would mean he’d try to get deep with me, and I wasn’t ready to be seen back then.
I’m ready now.
But maybe the only reason I am is because of who is seeing me.
“You’re thinking too hard,” Beau accuses, sighing.
“I know.”
“Why can’t we go there, B?” he pushes.
I gnaw on the inside of my cheek, ignoring the sting of pain. “I’m sort of seeing someone.”
“Who?” he says in surprise.
“Not someone I’m ready to introduce to the family yet,” I lie. “It’s still early.” I hesitate, because I don’t want this hanging over us, unresolved, if I’m single in the future. “But even if he wasn’t in the picture, this still wouldn’t be a good idea. You and I.”
Hurt shadows his eyes. “Why not? Because you’re a year older than me?”
“No, I don’t care about that. I care about our friendship. You’re one of my best friends. I would never want to lose that.”
“Hooking up doesn’t mean we’d lose it.”
“Hooking up always means you lose it.”
My own words suddenly echo in my head, evoking a pang of concern. Because if that sentiment is true, what if getting involved with Wyatt just cursed us to a lifetime of awkwardness? Our families will always be friends. That means he’ll always be in my life, for better or worse.
Which is an even better reason not to add Beau into the mix.