22. Chapter Twenty-two
Chapter Twenty-two
Callie and her father burst into the kitchen, still overflowing with energy after their day in the studio. Her mother had made a pot of chicken stew for dinner. Callie didn’t even need to look under the lid to be sure. The kitchen smelled amazing.
Roscoe came padding into the kitchen, still stretching as he trotted over to greet them with a friendly tail and too much licking. He could sense that something exciting had happened.
“You’re right on time,” called Dora from the stove. “Dinner’s basically ready. It just needs to simmer for a bit.” She covered the pot and turned the dial on the stove. “In the meantime, I thought we should have a celebratory cocktail.”
She beckoned for Luke and Callie to follow her outside, where she had set out some cheese and crackers and put a bottle of champagne on ice. The perfect end to a perfect day. Callie felt the sting of tears and wrapped her arms around her mother.
“Thanks, Mom,” she whispered.
Dora patted her gently on the back. “I never liked Brian, anyway. ”
Callie choked on a laugh as she pulled back. “I know.” She rolled her eyes. “Trust me, I know.”
“So let’s toast your first step toward leaving the band!”
Dora filled champagne flutes for all three of them, and they raised their glasses. Callie spoke first.
“To freedom!”
“And music,” added Luke.
“And love!” Dora’s last-minute addition to the toast came as Callie took her first sip. She breathed in a few too many champagne bubbles and spent the next several minutes coughing and blowing her nose. When she had recovered, Dora patted her on the knee.
“I know you’re not ready to think about love again, sweetie, but sooner or later it will find you.” At Callie’s wary expression, she pressed on. “Love makes the world go round. Without love, there would be no music, no art. Everything would be gray and boring.”
“Mom, this is not the time to write me a fairy tale.” She gave her father a pleading look, but he leaned back in his chair and took another sip of champagne. He knew better than to interrupt Dora when she got on a roll.
“I don’t need that kind of distraction,” Callie insisted.
“Distraction,” scoffed Dora. “What kind of an attitude is that?”
“The kind of attitude that will make me successful in the music business.”
“Sure, successful, miserable, and alone.”
Callie squared her shoulders, ready to go head to head with her mother if necessary, but Luke saw the warning signs and stepped in.
“Ladies, do we really need to debate this now? How about we celebrate today’s step forward and leave the larger issues of life, love, and happiness for another day?”
Dora gave a dissatisfied hmmph .
“Fine,” said Callie coolly as she refilled her glass.
“I was thinking…” began Luke.
Callie looked up at him in alarm. Whenever he began a conversation with those words, trouble was sure to follow. Dora evidently had the same thought, because she turned her full attention to Luke and narrowed her eyes. He cleared his throat and began again.
“I was thinking that I should make a phone call.”
“To whom?” asked Dora.
“Zeke.”
Callie wasn’t sure how to interpret her mother’s reaction. Dora clearly knew who Zeke was, and had mixed feelings about Luke calling him. Callie asked the obvious question.
“Who’s Zeke?”
“He’s an…old friend of your father’s,” answered Dora carefully, her eyes on Luke. “He runs a small record label out of Nashville.”
Luke nodded. Callie sucked in a breath.
“Wait, you don’t mean Zeke—”
“Yes,” interrupted Dora. “That Zeke.”
“Oh my God. You never told me….”
“I didn’t want Brian to pressure you.”
“What?”
“The music you were doing with the band would not have been right for Zeke’s label, but if Brian knew that you had an ‘in,’ he would have pressured you to use the connection anyway. I would have said no. Rather than deal with all that mess, I never told you that I knew him.”
“But you’re telling me now.”
Luke nodded, and his whole face lit up. “The music you’re doing now is perfect for him. All I need to do is make a call. I can’t guarantee that he’ll sign you, but I can guarantee that he’ll listen.”
Callie felt a wave of dizziness sweep over her and carefully set her champagne glass on the table. Then she dropped her head and rested it on her knees. Dora reached over to rub her back, and Luke squeezed her hand.
“Are you okay, sweetie?” asked Dora. “If this is all too much, you don’t have to do anything.” From the tone of her voice, Callie suspected that her last remark was directed squarely at Luke. She kept her head down and let them argue it out.
“This is her moment, Dora, and I can help her seize it.”
“If she’s not ready, then you’re not to push the issue, Luke.” She dropped her voice. “You don’t need an excuse to reconnect with Zeke. If you want to call him, you should just call him.”
“This is not about me,” insisted Luke, also in a low voice. Did they think she couldn’t hear them? She wasn’t that dizzy. Callie kept her head down and waited to see what other interesting things they would say.
“Bullshit,” returned Dora. “We both knew that this day would come. We weren’t sure when or how. But it’s here, now. And you have some thinking to do.”
Luke didn’t respond, at least not verbally, and Callie longed to pick up her head, but the moment she did, her parents would lose the thread of their mysterious conversation. Luke broke it off anyway, returning his attention to Callie.
“Sugar, are you okay?” Luke squeezed her hand again, and his voice was gentle. Callie slowly picked up her head.
“I’m fine, Dad. Really. Just overwhelmed.”
“Your Mom’s right, you know. I won’t call Zeke if you’re not ready. I don’t want to push you.”
Callie smiled and squeezed his hand back.
“You’re not pushing me. I’m ready. And if I’m really going to do this, I’ll need to find a way to control the story before Brian turns it to his advantage. If you really think that my demo is good enough, I’d love it if you would call…Zeke. I still can’t believe you’re on a first-name basis with him. But I’ll get over that. In the meantime, yes, please, make the call. ”
“Really?” Luke bounced like a kid ready to race outside for recess. He paused and looked at Dora, waiting for something.
She smiled and nodded, but she looked sad. Luke gave her a swift kiss on the cheek and left the porch, presumably to make the call right this second. Callie thought about the box of letters in the attic. How much of her parents’ story did she really know? She was still getting used to the idea that her parents were people living their own lives, not supporting players in hers.
Dora leaned back in her chair and looked out over the water, sipping the last of her champagne. Callie took a sip of hers as well and then asked Dora the question that had been on her mind for days.
“Who’s Lauren?”
Dora didn’t visibly react, though she did pause for a second, champagne glass in midair. Then she carefully set her glass on the table and folded her hands in her lap, looking down at them briefly before meeting Callie’s eyes. Callie had never seen her mother like this, all her fluttering energy concentrated into an intense stillness.
She had asked the question out loud, and the words could not be unsaid.
“What do you want to know?”
Callie swallowed, then took a deep breath.
“Are you going to visit her while we’re in New York on the girls’ weekend?”
“Yes.”
“Are you going to introduce us?”
“I don’t know.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t know if I’m ready.”
Callie digested her mother’s cryptic answers. Before she could form another question, her mother posed one of her own .
“How do you know about Lauren?”
“I found your letters.”
“Did you read them?”
“Yes.”
Her mother looked away for a moment, but she didn’t lose her composure or her energy.
“And what did you learn from the letters?”
No accusations? No recrimination? This unfamiliar stranger looked like her mother, but felt like a completely different person.
“I learned that you have a lifelong friend that you kept a secret from your family—or at least from your daughters.”
As she spoke the words, Callie felt smaller and smaller. She had breached her mother’s trust, and now Dora must feel even more exposed than Callie had felt after seeing the stalker photos. The thought made her feel sick all over again.
“You’re right. I have never talked about Lauren with you girls. She represents a thread in my life that I set aside before you were born. When I received her most recent letter, though, I knew that the time had come to pick up that thread again, and to weave it back into my life.”
“She’s dying.”
“Yes.”
“How can you be so calm about that?”
“She was dying when I met her. It’s not exactly news.”
Callie floundered, full of questions but unsure how to interact with this version of her mother. Dora rose to her feet, effectively ending the conversation.
“Please don’t mention this to Luke. He has enough to think about right now.”
“Okay,” Callie whispered, feeling the tremors in the foundation of her world. She wished she had never opened her mouth .
“I’m going to get dinner on the table. I’ll call you when it’s ready.”
“But—”
“I’m not ready to talk about this now. Your questions will have to wait.”
Callie snapped her mouth shut. Dora disappeared into the house. As the sun set, the trees cast long shadows across the lawn. Callie closed her eyes and shut out the beauty of the view, wishing that she could rewind the last ten minutes. Given a second chance, she would keep her mouth shut and leave her mother’s secrets undisturbed. Actually, if she were serious about second chances, she would rewind the last ten years and start fresh. Every choice she had made since that first meeting with Brian needed to be undone. She should have stayed on her own, making her own music and singing her own songs. Every compromise, every concession, had eaten away at her soul until only a hollow shell remained. She had made some progress toward filling it again, but it would take time. Her past choices would cast their shadows over her life for years to come.
This must be what regret feels like. Perhaps, down the road, she would know wisdom, but for now, she just felt foolish.