12. Chapter 12
Chapter 12
Joker
I don’t want to, but I pull the door closed behind me and leave Ginny alone. Fuck anyone who says my willpower sucks. I head to the small room across from hers and turn on my laptop. Something doesn’t sit right with me with what happened to that kid at the game.
I pull up the local news site and the town Facebook group. The news gets it right most of the time, but the town group? That’s where you get the real information. Seems like most of the town was at the game tonight, and all of them are traumatized by what they saw.
Kara Hickerson : Never seen anything like it before. He just dropped.
Doc Vince: Was he hit? Was it from an injury?
Shane Carmichael: It was his first play of the night. No injury that I could see.
Leah Davison: Oh, his poor momma. We need to get a meal train going. I’ll pin a signup sheet.
Sarah Wolkuff: Was he sick? Think it could be mono?
Jered Nemenmeyer: Never heard of anyone dropping like that from mono.
Sarah Wolkuff: I didn’t say that. Just asking if he had it. Stop putting words in my mouth.
Anonymous: Think that lady teacher who ran away from her wedding could have done something?
Linda Pichler: WTF are you talking about?
Anonymous: Well, anyone who would do that is the same kind of person to hurt children. And she’s hanging out with all that riff-raff.
Linda Pichler: Bullsh*t! Leave her out of this, let it go. Also, I want to see you say that to her face. But you won’t. Cause you’re a coward.
Anonymous: Am not! You don’t know me!
Linda Pichler: Don’t need to. Anyone who hides behind ‘Anonymous’ is a coward.
Travis Walters: TJ said he thought Jimmy was acting weird before the game. Like he was all hopped up on too much caffeine or something. TJ’s real worried about him. Said there were a couple of guys on the team acting like Jimmy. Hope this doesn’t impact baseball season.
Sandra Rubinisky: Oh, who gives a fig about baseball! These are our kids and all you care about is baseball? Where’s your heart? Do you even have one?
Travis Walters: Jimmy and TJ both play baseball! They were looking at scholarships. I AM thinking about their lives. Maybe you should just put the screen down keyboard warrior and say I don’t care to my face!
Anonymous: I still say you need to look into the music teacher. She’s obviously not stable. You saw who she hurt walking away like that.
Nicole Adams: She’s not stable? Have you asked her why she did it or are you just playing into the mob that loves drama? A kid could have died tonight and you’re more worried about tarnishing a beloved teacher’s name?
Anonymous: I don’t need to ask her anything. Anyone who would walk away from a man like that must have mental problems.
Elle Workman: Your fragile male ego is calling. Might want to put the keyboard down and answer.
Anonymous: I never said I was a man.
Elle Workman: You didn’t need to. To immediately blame a woman and say she has mental problems for breaking off a relationship? Oh, honey, only someone with SDE would go that route.
Mable the Diner Lady: What’s SDE?
Elle Workman: **This comment has been removed from an administrator. **
Jim Klein: Our thoughts and prayers go out to one of our own from BCHS. We will release an official statement when we know more.
**Comments on this post have been turned off**
Well, thank goodness they turned off the comments before we could delve into the political bullshit. As it is, there might be a rumble in the streets. Of course, I’d pay to see that, but seriously. Does anyone like anyone else in this town? Sometimes I have to wonder why my circle of friends is so special. Oh, right. Because we’re the ‘ riff-raff’ . Speaking of friends, I need to tell Elle I love her next time I see her.
I also love how people think they are anonymous online. I’d put money on who they are, but I already have a feeling I know. Anything to keep the negative attention on Ginny, right? Because if people are paying attention and talking about her, they aren’t seeing that something rotten is happening in our town.
I open up my other laptop and log into the hospital database. Don’t judge me. I pull up the record for Jimmy Martin. Notes say the kid will be alright, but had high levels of MDMA, an amphetamine-based drug like X or Molly. It looks like there are also opioids in the kid’s system. That’s a crazy combo, and one that could absolutely drop a kid while he was standing on two feet. The report states there wasn’t enough in his system to be considered an overdose, but they are blaming the cardiac event on the drugs. I mean, the kid had a better chance of making it through a football game shooting straight adrenalin into his system. Where the hell did he get that shit?
I email the office asking them to look into it. Maybe they’ve heard of a new designer drug on the streets. This isn’t good. If that shit’s made its way here, there’s no telling where else it is. I think about digging for more information about the mystery woman with the generic name, but I close both laptops and sit back in my chair.
Ginny’s in my house. And she let me touch her tonight. God, I wanted her. Has it really been enough time for her to move on and move forward? Do I need to slow down and give her space? Be more aggressive? Fuck! I wish I knew the right thing to do here.
I stand up and turn off the light, closing the door behind me as I move into the hallway, when I hear a noise from Ginny’s room. It’s her, but what is she doing? Crying? Is she moaning or groaning? Wait, a whimper? I cross the hallway and crack her door open, only to see her tossing and turning on the bed. Thrashing is more like it. She’s talking, but it’s not coherent. I watch her for a minute to make sure she’s alright, but I don’t want to wake her. I remember that apart from the nightmare itself, it was horrible when someone woke me during them. I wouldn’t know where I was and couldn’t separate reality from the grasp of whatever my mind was trying to fuck me up with. I would lash out. For years, I lived with the fear that if I slept with someone and had a nightmare that I would hurt them.
While I’m watching, Ginny sits up in bed, breathing hard. Her eyes roam around the room like a wild person. I know she’s not fully awake, but I have to let her know she’s okay.
“Ginny,” I say softly, trying to get her to focus on me. “Hey, you’re okay. You’re at my house.”
“Joker?” she croaks. “What?”
“You were having a nightmare. But you’re awake now. Everything is okay.”
“But it’s…it’s not okay.”
“What’s wrong?” The hair on my arms stands up at the pain in her voice.
“I can’t save them.”
“Can’t save who?”
“Harper and Owen. Lottie. Elle. Me.”
“Who are you saving them from?”
“The bad people. I can’t save them. I lose them, and I can’t save them.”
“Tell me.” I walk farther into the room and sit on the side of the bed, taking her hand in mine, rubbing what I hope is soothing circles on her palm.
“It’s always the same. Someone is chasing us. And just as I’m about to save them, they dissolve in front of me. I hear them scream, but I can’t save them.”
“Is it always just those people?”
“Always.” She nods her head.
“Do you know who’s chasing you?”
She shakes her head. “It’s different.”
“Who was chasing you tonight?”
“Keith. He was chasing me tonight. Everyone else disappeared, and it was just me running from him.”
I put my phone on the bedside table and adjust myself so I’m leaning against the headboard and pull her into my arms. “I’m sorry. Have you been having these long?”
“Yes, and no? I had them all the time after I was attacked. But they eventually went away, and I thought I was over it.”
“When did they come back?”
“This summer.”
“Gin, have you talked to anyone about what you’ve survived the last couple of years?”
“No. I thought I was okay.”
“Have you not realized it’s the same people in this round of nightmares?”
She tilts her head my direction, chewing on her bottom lip. “I guess I didn’t.”
“You’ve had some crazy shit happen to you.”
“But it didn’t happen to me.”
“Yes, sweetheart, it did. It might not have been aimed at you, but it did happen. And in one instance, you were hurt, too. Add in the town being the town with you walking away from the wedding, and that’s just a building block on trauma. I’ve heard you bitch about your mom giving you a journal to write in, but Ginny, I think you need to talk to someone.”
“No, I’m fine.”
“Ginny.”
“Harry.”
I chuckle, tilting her chin up so she will look at me. “You need to talk to someone. What you did just a few short months ago should have required you speak with someone.”
“I killed a man.”
“You did. And that’s not something any of us take lightly, so you shouldn’t either.”
“I wouldn’t even know where to go. It’s not like this town is busting at the seams with shrinks.”
“You might not have to go anywhere. When I need it, I call and talk to someone over the phone. Or video chat. And Daniel insists that we all check in with his personal therapist. She’s on the payroll. We have to check in with her after every job. Every case. I think you’d like her.”
“Are you trying to set me up with someone else?”
“I absolutely am.” We both laugh. “Seriously, give it some thought. I’ll put you in touch with her ASAP.”
“If you think it would be a good idea, I’ll give it a try. Mom would be thrilled.”
“Don’t do it because I want you to, Beautiful. The choice is yours.”
“You won’t be mad at me if I decide not to?”
“Fuck, no. I just want you to know the option is there.”
“I’ll let you know in the morning, okay?” She yawns and I start to pull away. “No.” She grabs my hand. “Stay? Please?”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure. Don’t leave me?”
“I’m not going anywhere, Beautiful.”
Ginny puts her head back on my chest, and we curl up together on the bed. I hold her until her breathing evens out, and then I hold her some more. The feeling of her body pressed against mine is causing a reaction, but he can wait. My cock does not rule my life. Of course, my heart usually doesn’t either, but when it comes to Ginny? It’s all heart.
Before I close my eyes, secure in the knowledge that Ginny is safe and sleeping peacefully, I pick up my phone from the bedside table and email our staff therapist, asking if she has some availability. I’d explain everything to her, but she already knows about Ginny and her heroics—and my nightmares as a result. I close my eyes and fall into the best sleep I think I’ve ever had.