Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
JACE
The gravel crunches beneath my truck tires as I slowly ease it to a stop, pulling up along the edge of the Adler’s front yard.
I shift it into park before turning the key and killing the engine.
Blowing out a slow exhale as I unbuckle my seat belt, I glance at the barn behind me through my rearview mirror.
The doors are cracked open and I pause for a moment, looking for any sign of either of them. I haven’t spoken to Noah since he called me out on everything, and I haven’t talked to Willow since the night she decided enough was enough.
I’ve been a coward, avoiding them both, but I can’t anymore.
I need to make things right with Noah, and with Willow. I’ve never really been one to sit down and sift through my feelings and for the first time in my life, I’ve found that’s all I’ve been doing this last week.
Every thought—it circles back to her.
But I know I need my best friend to be on board.
I need her brother to believe that I have no intention of hurting her ever again. I need him to know that her heart is safe with me.
When no one comes out of the barn, my eyes drift past it to the pasture where the horses graze in the distance. They’re out a little earlier than normal, so that must mean that the Alder’s are already moving around for the day.
Opening the door, I slip out of my truck and let it fall shut as I turn to face the house.
Noah stands by the top of the steps on the edge of the porch, his arms crossed over his chest. His expression gives nothing away and an anxious feeling twists in the pit of my stomach.
He’s calm and quiet, with his gaze leveled on mine.
“Hey,” I say awkwardly, the cool morning air carrying my voice as I lift my hand in a half-wave.
Noah stares back at me, unmoving. “Hey,” he responds, his voice even.
The silence stretches between us and I find the guilt tangling with the anticipation in my stomach. Noah Alder has been my friend for longer than anyone else. We met in preschool on the playground when we were both four years old.
He fell and scraped his knee and I helped him up. With tears in his eyes, he pushed me away and told me he didn’t need any help. But then he let me walk him to the teacher to get a bandaid.
Then he shared his snack with me, and the rest was history.
Noah has always been protective of everyone who was close to him and in a way, I made it hard for him. He has always stood by me through everything but I was the one who broke his trust when I got involved with Willow behind his back.
At the end of the day, he would always be more protective of his family than anyone else, and I can never fault him for that.
“You wanna come inside or you wanna walk?” he finally asks.
“Walk,” I say without a second thought or hesitation. I think we both need the space to talk freely, and four walls and a table seems more confrontational than I want this to be.
I want to be honest with him in a way that I haven’t been in weeks.
Noah nods his head once before he begins to walk down the steps. He comes closer, moving his arm in a sweeping motion toward the path that leads to the maple fields.
We fall in step with one another, walking side by side. The silence is suffocating, the tension heavy as the soles of our shoes crunch the dry, hardened dirt beneath. My heart thuds rapidly against my ribs.
Noah is the first to break through the quiet.
“I’m glad you came by,” he says quietly, his voice steady and low. “I figured you would at some point. This might be the longest we’ve gone without talking.”
A breath escapes me in a rush. “I should have come sooner.”
“Maybe,” he says simply as he lifts his shoulder. “You’re here now though.”
We walk a little farther, stepping onto the gravel instead of the dirt. “How are they? Did you get the disease under control?” I ask as we reach the first row of maple trees.
Noah nods his head. “We were able to treat it easily.” He pauses, not giving me anything more. “How’s the rink?”
“It’s good,” I say after a moment as we walk past the first tree. “A lot of work, but Harrison and I are managing.”
“That’s good,” he nods his head, looking down at his feet before up at me again. “How have you been holding up?”
The question cuts through my chest like a swift blade.
“I’ve been…trying,” I admit, shaking my head as I lift my hand to scratch the back of my neck. We both stop and Noah waits for me to continue. “Trying to figure out how the hell I can fix the mess I made.”
He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment. “It’s not all on you.”
My brows furrow. “I lied to you. I kept what was happening with Willow a secret for far longer than I should have.”
“You did.” He bobs his head, pursing his lips. “But I don’t think you were doing it to hurt anyone.”
“I wasn't,” I say in a rush, staring back at him intently. “I never meant to hurt you… or her.”
“I know.” He lets out a deep exhale. “I’m not going to lie—at first, I wanted to drown you in a drum of maple syrup.
I’ve since cooled off and I just keep thinking back to all the things I should have noticed.
The way you looked at her when you didn’t realize anyone was watching.
The way she smiled whenever you were around.
” He pauses, shaking his head. “I finally put those pieces together and I know it goes deeper than you wanted to admit.”
A lump lodges in my throat, my heart immediately constricting. “I was afraid to admit how I felt about her. I was afraid to admit it to myself, to her, and even more to you.” I rake my fingers through my hair. “I’m in love with her, Noah.”
His gaze is unwavering as he nods, slow and measured. “I know you are.”
The simple statement hits me in the center of my chest.
“I tried to let her go, like we talked about, but she ended up walking away from me.”
Noah rubs his jaw, letting out an exhale. “She told me.”
“I should have told her the truth then, but I panicked. I was still trying to run from my feelings and running from her out of fear.” I shake my head. “I was a coward. I should have told her the truth and I should have come to you sooner.”
Noah tips his head to the side. “Sometimes fear can be blinding and we can’t always see clearly past it.” He blinks twice, his expression soft. “You needed her to walk away to see that it’s worth the risk.”
My breath catches. “She’s worth the risk.”
“I know,” he says, dipping his chin. “But only if you’re going to be the man she deserves. Only if you can love her in the way she deserves to be loved.”
“I can.” My words are a solid declaration. “I will.”
Noah’s eyes are locked on mine. “I believe you.”
“I owe you an apology,” I say in a rush, the words coming out with a heavy breath.
“I should have trusted you. You’re her brother and my best friend.
I was afraid you would think less of me or that I’d never be good enough for her—which at the time, I wasn't. I didn’t want it to complicate anything between us. ”
“It would have and it did,” he says with honesty. “We could have talked it out. And you’re right, I didn’t think you were good enough for her, but that was my anger. I know you, Jace, and I truly believe you can be the man she deserves.”
“I’m sorry, Noah. I’m sorry I wasn't upfront with you. I’m sorry I hurt you and her.”
He stares at me, his throat bobbing as he swallows hard. The silence stretches, time hanging precariously in the air before he finally speaks. “I forgive you. It’s something I’m going to need to adjust to, but I’d rather do that than lose you as a friend.”
Emotion tugs on my heart. “Thank you. I won’t hurt her again. I won’t betray your trust ever.”
“Just be honest with both of us—and yourself,” he adds. “You’re not the only one who was afraid to admit their feelings. She loves you and I think she has for a long time.”
“I was so afraid I’d fail her and in the end, I did because of my fear.” My voice cracks. “I fucked it all up.”
His forehead creases. “No, you didn’t.” He shakes his head, his expression softening. “It’s not too late. You can still make things right with her.”
“How?”
His expression grows thoughtful. “Tell her the truth.”
“It’s that simple?”
He gives me a sideways glance, the corners of his mouth twitching. “It is that simple.”
I snort, shaking my head at myself. “I really did make a mess.”
“Well, thankfully you seem to be getting good at cleaning them up,” he says with a soft laugh, bumping his shoulder against mine as he turns on his heel to head back toward the house. “The Harvest Fest is about to start soon. Willow is already there getting things ready.”
Rolling my wrist, I check the time on my watch. “I won’t be able to get there before. Should I just wait until after to talk to her?”
He lifts an eyebrow. “Don’t you think you’ve waited long enough?”
“I don’t want to interrupt her day.”
“You’re as blind as your cat,” Noah snorts. “I don’t think the timing matters. I think she’ll be happy just to hear the truth from you.”
“You’re right.”
We fall in step together again, slowly making our way down the path, although my legs itch to move faster. The sun filters through the leaves of the trees lining the drive. The tension no longer lingers in the air and there’s a lightness that settles in my chest, although the ache still lingers.
“I just want you to know that I’m not mad at you anymore,” Noah says suddenly, his words breaking through the quiet.
I glance at him, my footsteps slowing.
“I was, but you’re my best friend and you’re not a bad guy. You didn’t treat her badly. If anything, you thought you were doing the right thing and part of that is my fault. I shouldn’t have interfered the way I did.”
My head shakes. “No, you had every right.”
“I was only trying to protect her.”
“I know,” I say softly, my voice quiet.
“I know you were only trying to do the same.” He’s quiet again for a beat. “We’re good, Jace.”
Relief washes over me. “Thank you. I don’t want anything to ever threaten our friendship.”
“Me either,” he says, nodding as he glances at me again. “You’re a good guy, Jace. You and my sister both deserve to be happy.”
“That’s all I want,” I admit as we reach the end of the path and step into the grass. “I just want to make her happy.”
“Then the first step is to tell her the truth.”
I nod, swallowing over the lump lodged in my throat. “You’re right.”
Noah smiles back at me, clapping his hand on my shoulder before he walks me over to my truck. “Trust in yourself and in her.”
I climb in behind the steering wheel with his words nestling deep inside my chest. There’s no need to let my fear control me anymore. It’s time that I trust myself and her. My feelings are safe with her.
For the first time in days, something like hope stirs in me.
And I let it lead me into town—to Willow.