CHAPTER TWO
Anya
* Clank! Bang! Crash!*
I open my eyes wide, result of the loud noises coming from outside my bedroom door. When did I come into my room? I think to myself as I scan my surroundings. It’s darker than before but it’s not fully nighttime yet.
*Clash!!*
I jump at the sound and slowly walk over toward my door. I crack it open a little and I hear talking and the smell of food. I shuffle my feet out of the room.
“Hey there sleepy head,” Jacob says lightly with a smile.
I rub my eyes, trying to shake off the grogginess. “Hey, what’s going on?” I ask, still feeling disoriented. “When did I go to sleep?”
Jacob envelops me in a warm soothing hug. “You were pretty worn out when you cried yourself to sleep, so I carried you to the room.”
Embarrassed by my vulnerability, I bow my head. “Oh, shit. I’m sorry.”
Jacob softly strokes my cheek with his knuckles. “Babe, you never need to apologize for feeling tired or overwhelmed,” he whispers. When I try to look away again, he gently lifts my chin, his eyes locking onto mine. “Anya, you don’t have to say sorry for telling me how you feel or what you need.” His words cut through the layers of self-doubt and insecurity that have clouded my mind for so long.
I’ve grown accustomed to constantly apologizing for my emotions, to suppressing my needs and desires, and always feeling like an afterthought in the lives of others. It’s been a pattern not just with Paul, but also with my parents. The weight of feeling insignificant, and inadequate, has burdened me for years. Each time I’ve dared to voice my feelings, I’ve been met with the need to apologize.
But Jacob’s reassurance breaks through that cycle, his words offer a beacon of light in the darkness of my doubts. The realization that I don’t have to apologize for being myself, for expressing what’s in my heart, overwhelms me. Tears well up in my eyes once more as the weight of years of suppression begins to lift, replaced by a newfound sense of freedom.
He cups my face, his touch tender yet firm, and locks eyes with me. “The sun never apologizes for rising and setting,” he begins, his voice soft yet resolute. “It is as perfect as it is absolute. It wasn’t until I met you that I realized just how insignificant my world was. You have opened my eyes to a world beyond comparison.”
His words wash over me like a warm embrace, filling me with a sense of belonging and importance I’ve never felt before. “Anya, you have become my world,” he continues, his gaze unwavering. “I find myself enveloped within your heart, and for as long as I am blessed to remain a part of your world, you shall never have to apologize for being that which has ensnared me body and soul.”
I laugh, wiping away my tears. “What are we pretending to be, Mr. Darcy now?” I joke, trying to lighten the mood.
He leans in, his warmth sending a rush of goosebumps across my skin. “Is it working?” he teases, his eyes sparkling with mischief before planting a soft kiss on my neck. A shiver runs down my spine, and I laugh, gently pushing him away. “Nice try, but I’m immune to cheesy lines now,” I say with a smile, teasing him right back. He chuckles and gives me a side smirk. “Uh huh, sure…”
“Nope, sorry, you’re gonna have to do better than that!” I challenge.
He wraps his arms around my waist, his breath tickling my ear. My skin tingles with anticipation as his hand moves to the inside of my thigh. “Why don’t we test that theory then?” he suggests mischievously, his hands inching closer to my inner thigh. “Let’s see how much I don’t affect you.”
My breath hitches, and heat floods my body as Jacob holds me tighter, leaning in to kiss me...
“Ahem.”
We both turn towards the noise and see my Pops awkwardly standing there with a coffee mug in his hand. “Pardon the, uh, intrusion, but I just need to refill my, um, cup,” he says, making a hasty retreat towards the coffee pot.
My face flushes red, and once Pops leaves the kitchen, both Jacob and I burst into laughter. “Seems like we have a knack for getting interrupted,” he remarks.
I laugh as I grab a drink and help myself to a plate of the lasagna that was left for me before I fell asleep. “You know, I can’t say I’ve ever had lasagna with cream cheese instead of ricotta,” Jacob remarks, sounding surprised.
“Yeah, my Nana makes it like this,” I say, taking a bite. “She boils chicken or beef broth and stirs in a block of cream cheese.” I grin. “Lana, being Italian, says it’s practically a sin against her culture and should be illegal.”
“Didn’t she grow up in Virginia?” Jacob asks, raising an eyebrow.
I nod, laughing. “Yes, but she’s still half Italian, and she takes that very seriously.
“You’re goddamn right I do!” Lana shouts as she comes barging into the kitchen. I’m startled at first but then slowly calm down when I see Lana’s face. She grimaces realizing maybe barging in the house after not too long ago Caleb scared the shit out of me, wasn’t the best choice. She mouths an “I’m sorry” but I shrug it off, “don’t worry about it, I’m just glad it's you” I reassure her.
She smiles, but it quickly shifts to a look of feign disgust when she sees the lasagna on the table. “As my best friend, you should be boycotting that as a sign of your loyalty,” she quips.
“But I’m hungry,” I reply, my mouth full. “And as my best friend, you should know that keeping me fed is the utmost priority,” I tease back.
She rolls her eyes and stares at the lasagna disapprovingly. “Besides, I actually prefer this lasagna to the original recipe” I add.
Lana immediately looks shocked, placing her hand on her chest. “How dare you betray me like that!”
Jacob snorts, and she glares at him. “I have to agree with Anya, this is way better,” he adds to the teasing.
Lana scoffs. “Heathens, both of you!” she says dramatically.
We all laugh, and she keeps glancing between the food and me. Finally, I speak up, “Do you want to try some?”
She scoffs, drawing out the “Nope,” with an exaggerated “p.” Just then, her stomach growls, and Jacob and I exchange amused looks, struggling to stifle our laughter. Lana shoots a glare at her stomach, muttering, “Traitor”.
I smile, shaking my head as I stand to grab her plate. After placing a small piece of lasagna on it, I hand it back to her. She stares at it like a kid being forced to eat their least favorite vegetable. “Come on, just try it. If you hate it, I’ll finish it for you,” I say with a grin. She slumps her shoulders in defeat and grabs the plate. She hesitates before putting the fork in her mouth, but when she does, her eyes light up.
“I won’t say this is better than my mom’s or my Nonna’s, but it’s actually really good,” she says, putting another forkful in her mouth. “But don’t think for one second that this is Italian, because it’s not a true Italian dish.”
“Yeah, it’s not like the Olive Garden,” Jacob says, trying to get a rise out of her. .
Lana snaps her head in his direction. “OLIVE GARDEN is not an authentic Italian restaurant!” she scolds, making us all laugh as we finish our meal.
We finish up dinner and I glance over at Jacob and see his eyes locked on me; pupils dilated. I know exactly what he’s thinking—I’m thinking it too. I wonder if we’ll have a repeat of what happened before we left. My skin prickles with goosebumps. My heart races as he places his hand on my thigh and squeezes. His hand starts moving higher, and my breath catches.
“Welp! I guess I’ll be leaving!” Lana says rather loudly, standing up and placing her plate in the sink. Jacob and I jump at the noise, immediately separating and breaking our heated connection. We got so wrapped up in the moment that we forgot Lana was still in the room.
I let out a nervous laugh. “I’m sorry.”
She lifts her hands in mock surrender. “No, no, it’s fine! I know when I’m the third wheel,” she says, flashing us a mischievous smile. Stepping closer, she places a hand on my shoulder. “But seriously, I do need to head home” giving my arm a gentle squeeze. “Have fun tonight you two!” she adds with a wink before heading out the door.
I grin from ear to ear, glancing over at Jacob. He shakes his head with a smile. “I think it’s time we head to bed,” I suggest, and Jacob raises an eyebrow, a devilish grin spreading across his face. I give him a light-hearted shove. “Not like that!” I squeal, and we both break out laughing. He pulls me close and kisses me.
“We could always pick up where we left off in the car,” he says with a smirk.
I smile into his lips. “Oh yeah?”
“Except it’ll be your turn,” he adds.
“It was already my turn!” I exclaim.
“No, it will be your turn to feel my mouth between your legs” he whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.
My heart skips a beat at the thought, but then I remember my grandparents’ room is just down the hall from the guest room and mine. “As much as that would please me,” I say seductively, “you and I both know I am not the quietest person when it comes to that.”
He pulls me in closer. “I guess you’ll have to try to quiet your moans, then,” he teases, lifting me and throwing me over his shoulder.
Feigning shock, I slap his back. “Jacob! Nooo! My grandparents are going to hear us, mainly me, and I don’t think either of us could survive that!” I whisper as he carries me down the hall.
As he leads me into the guest room, my heart races with anticipation. I can’t deny the desire building in me, wanting to feel his lips on my skin. Yet, there’s a nagging voice of doubt in the back of my mind. What if I disappoint him? What if he realizes I’m not worth staying for? The fear of rejection grows stronger as he kneels before me, and I can’t help but wonder if this will be another person who leaves me behind.
But then again, with Jacob, it would hurt even more. He has the power to shatter me completely, yet I still want him.
Despite my inner conflict, I look into his eyes, the depths of them revealing his emotions. The way his gaze never leaves mine, it’s like he can see right through me. He knows me better than anyone else. His fingers gently cup my face, and he leans in to brush his lips against mine. The connection between us is undeniable, and I feel a rush of warmth wash over me. As he pulls away, the air is thick with anticipation.
“Trust me,” he whispers, his voice low and sultry. I nod, my heart pounding in my chest. I can feel the weight of his gaze, and I swallow hard. I try to ignore the nagging voice of doubt in the back of my mind and focus on the intensity of our connection. I do trust him, and I know he’ll take care of me.
He stands up and pulls me close, our bodies pressed together, and I can feel his warmth. He takes one of my hands and gently raises it to his chest, his heart pounding against my palm. I close my eyes and breathe in deeply, taking in the scent of him, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart. In this moment, I let go of the fear and the doubt, and I allow myself to be consumed by the desire that threatens to overtake me.
Jacob takes my hand and leads me over to the bed, his eyes never leaving mine. He gently lays me down, and I can feel the sensation of the soft sheets against my skin. He hovers above me, his eyes filled with lust and longing. He leans in to kiss me, his lips soft yet demanding. His hands explore my body, and I feel a surge of desire coursing through me, making me feel alive.
As he continues to explore me, I let out a soft moan that escapes my lips. Jacob smiles, teasing me, “Mmm, sounds like someone is enjoying herself.” He reaches up and threads his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer to him. Our lips meet again, and I can feel the passion building between us.
His hands move lower, gently caressing my skin, sending shivers down my spine. I close my eyes and let out a soft sigh, surrendering to the pleasure that’s coursing through me. Jacob’s touch is like a drug, addictive, and exhilarating. I can feel my heart racing, my breath becoming heavier as he continues to explore my body.
Soon, we’re entwined in a passionate embrace, our bodies moving in sync with each other. I can feel the tension building between us, the anticipation of what’s to come. Jacob’s lips travel down my neck, leaving a trail of kisses, making me moan even louder. He covers my mouth and for a split second, my body tenses up, and fear creeps in. I’m momentarily brought back to when Paul would force himself on me and I would try to scream but then he would cover my mouth and his hands were so big that he also covered my nose. He almost killed me that night and there used to be a time where I wanted him to kill me if it would just end the torture and the pain.
I snap out of my thoughts when Jacob gently holds my face in his hands. “Anya? Where did your mind just wander off to?” he asks with concern. I try to brush it off, “Nothing, I’m fine,” I say, my voice barely a whisper. Jacob kisses my forehead gently, peering into my eyes intently. “Don’t shut me out, Anya. Let me help you,” he pleads with warmth and sincerity.
Taking a deep breath, I opened up to him about everything that had just happened. “I know it might seem silly,” I add, shrugging my shoulders slightly. But Jacob takes my face in his hands and gazes deeply into my eyes.
“No, Anya. It’s not silly at all. You’ve been through so much, and I am incredibly proud of you for standing up for yourself.” My cheeks redden as I shrug again, still feeling uncertain. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
He lifts my chin with his finger, a playful twinkle in his eye. “Baby, of course I’m right,” he teases. “And I want you to be comfortable in everything we do together, not just sexually.” His words reassure me, and I nod my head, squeezing his hand in gratitude.
“I know, Jacob,” I say wholeheartedly. “You are the first guy in a long time that I feel safe with and trust completely.”
A soft smile spreads across his face as he looks into my eyes. “I will always make sure you feel safe and loved Anya. I promise you that. We’ll take things at your pace, whatever makes you feel safe and comfortable.” Feeling as though a weight has lifted off my shoulders, his kindness and understanding fill my heart.
With renewed confidence, I pull Jacob down into another passionate kiss as our bodies press against each other. His strong hands glide down the curve of my waist, sparking shivers running down my spine. Closing my eyes, I choose to let go of my fears and focus on the present moment.
Jacob continues to explore me, his fingers tracing patterns on my skin, while his lips taste every inch of my body. Each touch sets my senses ablaze, making me feel more alive and desired than ever before. A soft moan escapes my lips, feeling the shift in his own body as he responds to my sounds.
His lips move slowly between my breasts, his warm tongue tracing circles around each mound before enveloping one nipple. As he sucks and teases it with flicks of his tongue, his hand cups the other breast, rolling the hardened nipple between his fingers. He switches sides, taking the other nipple into his mouth with gentle nibbles that send waves of pleasure straight to my core.
Feeling bold, I urge him further down my body, guiding him towards unexplored territory. Jacob trails kisses along my abdomen and hips before reaching my legs. With a mischievous grin on his face, he places tender kisses along the insides of my thighs.
I squirm beneath him as anticipation builds within me. Unsure if I can handle the intensity of what’s about to happen, I trust Jacob completely because of our connection. He presses even closer to my most intimate parts – intimately exploring me with gentle touches and teasing caresses.
Just when I feel like I can’t stand the anticipation any longer, Jacob pauses and looks up at me with eyes full of love and desire. “Are you ready, Anya?” he whispers softly. My heart races as I nod in affirmation. He smiles warmly – a smile full of promises – before returning his attention to my trembling body.
Expertly parting my legs further apart, Jacob runs an outstretched finger along the wet folds between them. His touch evokes an involuntary shudder from deep within me as he continues to discover all there is to know about this part of me.
His mouth makes contact with me in a tender, fiery kiss that displaces any remnants of fear within me. He explores my core with his tongue – swirling, tasting, and caressing it with deliberate movements that cause my body to quiver with pleasure.
Jacob’s fingers and lips dance across my skin in perfect harmony with the intensity of his touch. His fingers slip inside me as his thumb circles my clit, his mouth never leaving my body. My muscles tense as I try to keep control, but eventually, I succumb to the sensations and my breath comes out in moans and gasps.
As waves of pleasure crash over me, Jacob moves from my core back up to my face, his eyes never leaving mine. “You’re doing great, Anya,” he murmurs softly, full of encouragement. “Just let yourself go and enjoy it.” I nod as he returns to his previous position, his tongue once again circling around my most sensitive spot.
Lost in the intensity of the sensations, I allow myself to surrender fully to this moment with Jacob. In doing so, I experience an orgasm unlike anything I’ve ever felt before – wave after wave of pure ecstasy washes over me as time loses all meaning.
As the last tremors subside, I collapse onto the bed – spent and sated. Jacob moves up beside me and gently brushes a strand of hair from my eyes. “You were amazing, Anya,” he praises hoarsely. “I’m so proud of you for letting go like that.”
I smile weakly at him, feeling grateful for sharing this deeply intimate moment with him. “Thank you, Jacob,” I replied breathlessly. “I didn’t think I could handle it, but you were right – it was incredible.”