CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Jacob
After the funeral both Marissa and I head back to the farm. I still can’t believe my mom is gone, it doesn’t feel real but I know it is. I have so many questions and very little answers.
“Hey what’s this?” Marissa asks holding up an envelope with my name on it.
“I don’t know” I say and she hands it to me. I immediately recognize Anya’s handwriting. “It’s from Anya!” I say excitedly and quickly open the letter.
Jacob, I have so many things to say but I don’t know how to say them. This letter is one of the hardest letters I’ve had to write…
I grip the letter, hoping this isn’t a “dear John” letter. My nerves are slowly climbing inside my chest. I continue reading.
I am so very sorry; I am beyond sorry! I never meant for any of this to happen. I hope that one day you’ll forgive me for getting your mom killed. I never thought that he would follow me out here. I thought I was safe! God! Why is this so hard!
I can almost hear her voice coming through the page, and I notice some tear stains that made the ink streak.
I have to stay away Jacob, for Marissa’s safety, I saw the pregnancy test in the bathroom and since I know neither me nor your mom took it, I figured it was Marissa’s. She is all you have left of your family and I cannot put them in danger…not again. I promise I will come back once I know it’s safe again. Please wait for me my love, I can’t lose you too. I know by the time you’ve read this you would have heard that Nana died too. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself for that…for either of them. I’m sorry I am doing this over a letter but I just know that if we spoke on the phone, you would convince me to stay. I still love you more than anything and it is a BIG reason why I have to wait till it’s safe. I’m gonna be thinking about you every day. So, this isn’t goodbye, it’s just a simple see you later.
I love you!
Anya
I stare at her letter, rereading it over and over again. She blames herself, and she shouldn’t! I slam the paper down and Marissa flinches and then has a confused look on her face.
“What happened?” she asks.
“She left, she…she left and said she’ll come back when it’s safe. She didn’t want to put the baby in danger” I say feeling frustrated and helpless. “It’s no wonder she hasn’t called me back” I say.
“How did she know I was pregnant?” Marissa says even more confused.
“She saw the test.”
Realization falls on her face, “Oh, but I told her that it wasn’t her fault! I left her a note on her windshield before I went to the hospital with Mom”.
“You did? Did you put her name on it or indicate it’s from you?” I ask.
“Well yeah I signed it but only her name was on the envelope. Oh shit! I didn’t think, what if she threw it away because she thought it was from her stalker!?” she says.
I have to call her, she needs to know that I don’t blame her. “Damn it! Voicemail again! Why is her phone off!?” I yell in frustration.
Marissa puts her hand on me, “Jacob you need to try and calm down. You’ll be no good to her angry.”
“I’m not mad at her, I’m angry at this whole situation! This motherfucker is terrorizing her so much that she feels guilty for getting Mom and her Nana killed! That guilt and fear is keeping her away! Plus, she needs to know everything is okay now, according to the police!”
“And I understand that Jacob, I do, but you can’t make that drive angry”
I look at her in shock, “How did –
“Jacob, it’s clear you love her, I’d be na?ve to think that you wouldn’t go after her. But you are my only brother and I don’t want you to get hurt because you are driving stupid” she says with an authoritative stare.
I take a deep breath, knowing she’s right, then I hug her and I grab my go bag. “I’ll call you with any updates”. She nods her head and wishes me goodbye.
I listen to music on the way to NJ and it’s as if time went on fast forward, because it’s night when I arrive at Anya’s grandparents home. I walk up to the door but just as I was about to knock the door opens. Anya’s grandfather is standing in the doorway.
“Oh Jacob! We weren’t expecting you…I am…I’m sorry to hear about your Mom” he says solemnly.
“Thank you Pops” I say using the name Anya calls him for the first time. “I’m sorry about Nana too” I add.
He pats my shoulder, “Thank you son, but it wasn’t you or Anya’s fault. My wife did what I knew she would do, she protected her family. I’m devastated that she is gone, but if it meant that Anya is still alive, then I am at peace with it” he says.
“Speaking of Anya, is she home?” I ask.
He shakes his head, “No, Lana and her went out. Lana wanted to do something fun to distract her. Anya has been not herself since she came back. Despite me saying she isn’t at fault, she still blames herself. Add grief and she has been just a shell of herself. But I know she would love to see you! Lana said something about going to the brand new club that just opened. You can try there” he says.
“Thank you so much Pops!” I say excitedly.
I quickly look up the name and address of the new club, and find it within minutes.
It takes me 10 minutes to arrive. I rush toward the door but am immediately stopped. “Whoa! ID please” the security guy says. I feel around my pockets and realized in my rush to get here I forgot my wallet in the car. I rush back to my car and search for my wallet.
Getting anxious thinking I might have left it at home, I start digging through the garbage left all around my car floors. I really need to clean out this car! I think to myself.
After what felt like forever, I found it under my seat. By the time I came back, there was a long line waiting to get in. I’m getting antsy and fidgeting to get inside but once I am next in line, the security guy says they are at max capacity and I need to wait till a few more people leave. Seriously?! Why does it feel like the universe is trying to keep me away?! I grumble inwardly.
After what seems like hours, a few more people leave and I can finally get in. The music is loud and there are tons of people on the dance floor.
To say this place is packed is an understatement. It is going to be near impossible to find Anya in here, but still I scan the room anyway. I look toward the back where the bar sits.
There is an outdoor section too that will give me a little bit more space to look around. I squeeze past all the people dancing near the dance floor to get to the outdoor patio.
I still don’t see her anywhere, but just then I hear her laugh. I look around and try to follow the sound. That’s when I see her out in the parking lot with Lana. “ANYA!” I try to shout over the music but she doesn’t hear me. So I get closer to the fence that is blocking the patio from the parking lot. “ANYA!” I shout again and she turns to see who called her. I try to wave my arms to get her attention, once her eyes land on me, she looks shocked but then smiles.
Both her and Lana walk toward me, but then in the corner of my eye I see something or someone running towards her. “Look out!” I shout but she doesn’t hear me and still walks toward my direction. I shout again trying to signal there is someone behind her. I look around and I jump the fence. But not before security at the door reaches me and holds me down. Anya starts to run toward me but then my head is held down in the pavement by police. When did the police show up? Is my first thought and then ANYA!