Chapter 2
Chapter Two
Derek
I ’m walking away from the school with Eric and Casey, my mind a mess of fragmented thoughts and self-recrimination. Of all people to be Casey’s new teacher, it had to be the woman I kissed at the winery.
What did I do to deserve that karma?
I glance down at Casey, her tiny hand swinging in mine, blissfully unaware of the storm raging in my head. Eric walks beside us, his hands stuffed into his jacket pockets, shooting me curious glances.
“You okay?” he finally asks, his tone casual but laced with suspicion.
“Yeah,” I lie too quickly. My voice is gruff, and I clear my throat to cover it. “Just tired.”
Eric snorts. “Tired? You’ve been cranky since we left the classroom. What’s the deal? Do you know Casey’s teacher?”
“No. I’m fine,” I snap. I can feel his eyes boring into the side of my head, but I keep my gaze straight ahead. “Drop it.”
He lets out a low chuckle, but thankfully, he doesn’t push. I just need to get home and process what the hell just happened.
The way Miss Shafer looked at me, her wide brown eyes full of surprise and something else. Or was that my guilty conscience projecting?
Coward.
I’m not the type of guy to kiss a woman out of the blue. It’s presumptuous and borderline invasive. But I did it. And now, knowing she’s Casey’s teacher, the weight of my actions is causing me a lot of inner irritation that I definitely outwardly dealt her. I should have apologized right then and there, but instead, I was an ass.
Great coping mechanisms.
“Daddy?” Casey’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
“Yeah, sweetheart?” I glance down at her, forcing a smile.
“I like my new gym shoes,” she says, her voice cheerful. “And my teacher seems nice.”
I almost trip over my own feet. Nice. Of course, I’m sure she is. Or at least, she would have been until I barreled into her personal space like some kind of caveman.
“That’s good,” I manage, my voice tight. “I’m glad you like her.”
Casey nods, skipping a little as we approach the truck. Eric slides into the passenger seat, watching me with a raised eyebrow as I settle into the driver’s seat. He’s only twelve years old, but the kid is intuitive as a sixty-year-old man who has seen the world.
I’m not in the mood for his questions. I can’t even explain my behavior. I’m certainly not telling my son that I kissed his sister’s teacher.
The silence stretches as I start the truck and pull out of the parking lot.
“So,” Eric says softly, so his sister won’t hear, “are we gonna talk about why you’re acting like the new teacher is the devil?”
I grip the steering wheel tighter, my knuckles whitening. “I’m not acting like anything.”
“Right,” he drawls, leaning back in his seat. “You’re just unusually quiet, and it looked like you wanted to bolt out of there the second you saw Casey’s teacher. Totally normal.”
“Drop it, Eric,” I warn, my voice low.
“Fine.” He throws his hands up in mock surrender. “But you’re gonna have to explain eventually, Pops. You’re acting weird.”
I don’t respond, focusing on the road. Casey is staring thoughtfully out the window, and Eric is swiping through YouTube videos on his phone. Meanwhile, I can’t get that gorgeous woman out of my head.
I kissed her. Out of nowhere, in the middle of a crowded winery. It wasn’t planned, wasn’t thought out—it just happened. And now, I’m so embarrassed for my rash act that I want to kick my own ass.
What kind of message does that send? That I can just take what I want without considering how she feels? That I’m some arrogant jerk who thinks he can get away with anything?
I have a daughter, for cripe’s sake. I can’t be acting like I don’t respect women. What does that show Casey?
I glance at my daughter in the rearview mirror. She’s been pretty quiet the past few months. We’ve been seeing a therapist since her mom died a few years ago, and she assures me that she’s doing great, but Casey’s demeanor says differently.
She used to be so happy and giggly at all times.
The rest of the drive home is quiet, and I’m grateful for the reprieve. By the time we pull into the driveway, my head is pounding, and I feel like I’ve been through the wringer.
Amber is such a gorgeous woman. Her modest, flowy sundress brought out her brown eyes, but it was hard to disguise her curves. Even when I was being an ass to her, she was still so sweet back to me.
Eric hops out first, reaching back to grab Casey’s hand. She follows, her boots hitting the ground as she gives a quick glance back at me. There’s a comfort in the routine, in the way they head straight to the porch, leaving the heavy, tired silence of the drive behind.
“Alright, go on and get yourselves ready for bed,” I say, stepping down from the truck. “I’ll be up in a bit to say good night.”
Eric gives me a small nod, always the responsible one, already herding his little sister inside. I watch them go, their heads bent close in some whispered sibling conversation, before turning back to lock up the truck.
Marley and Ziggy, our two Great Pyrenees, lope up to me, both nudging my hands with their giant heads.
“What are you two doing out here?” I ask, as they’re almost always as close to Casey as possible.
It’s as if they realize the kids aren’t with me and race off to get in the house before the door closes. They were supposed to be guardian dogs and strictly outside, but that didn’t last long, with my daughter, the animal whisperer, continually sneaking them in at night. I pretended I didn’t know they were sleeping in her bed for the longest time. It’s hard not to know when a Great Pyrenees has been inside, though, since they leave a trail of white fur wherever they go.
I chuckle, and then Amber’s face pops into my head again. Kissing her had awakened something in me that I didn’t even know existed, that can’t ever exist again. Seeing her at the school had me on edge. It’s only been a few years since my wife died, and I’m not ready to put myself out there again. The guilt over it all is just too much.
Just as I’m pocketing the keys, my phone buzzes. I fish it out, glancing at the screen. It’s my best friend, Teddy. I swipe to answer, holding the phone up as I kick a bit of dirt off my boots before heading inside.
“Hey,” I say, making my way through the mudroom.
“Hey, did you meet my sister today?”
I pause in the hallway, frowning slightly. “Who?”
“Amber,” he says, and I can practically hear the grin in his voice. “I forgot to tell you that she’s Casey’s new teacher. She’s taking Mrs. D’s place.”
Are you kidding me?
I roll my eyes, walking toward the kitchen. “Shit, I should have realized your last names were the same. I didn’t recognize her.”
“Why would you? You’ve only seen her on my social media.”
“I thought she looked familiar, but she told Casey she went to school here, so I assumed I saw her around town or something.”
“Yeah, how’d it go?”
“Well…” I run a hand over my face as I remember our little collision in the hallway. “Let’s just say she’s a little too chipper for my taste.”
Teddy bursts out laughing. “Scrooge is a little too chipper for your taste.”
I grimace, though he’s probably right. “Okay, maybe I’ve been in a bit of a…mood lately,” I admit. “But still, she’s got this energy. It’s exhausting just looking at her.”
“Oh, that sounds terrible,” he says in mock horror. “A teacher with energy? Quick, get Casey out of that school while you can.”
I shake my head and chuckle. Teddy’s been my best friend for the past few years. Some days, no one knows me better, not even myself. I appreciate it when he calls me out on my ridiculousness.
I change the subject. “Anyway, you free for a drink soon?”
“You read my mind.” He chuckles. “Tomorrow night, I should be able to get away. How’s everything on the farm? The orchard surviving?”
“Yeah, so far, but this year’s been tricky with the weather. Apples are coming in a little late, but that’s organic farming, I guess,” I say, making my way to the kitchen window and gazing out at the trees that stretch beyond it. “It’ll all come together, just like it always does.”
“Hey, it will. If anyone can pull off a perfect orchard, it’s you. It’s everyone’s favorite place to visit in the fall. You’ve really done wonders with it. Adding the animals and the hayrides last year was genius.”
“A little more work, but worth it. It helped boost sales and brought me a few more bakeries and grocery stores as buyers.”
“That’s amazing, but you need to take a break. Any chance that date with Jess was a good one?”
I wince, glad he can’t see my expression. “Nice segue, jerk,” I joke. “Nope. It was, well, awful. We didn’t have a thing in common.”
“Did you try to learn if you had anything in common?” he pushes.
“Yeah,” I lie, rubbing the back of my neck. “There wasn’t a spark, that’s for sure.”
There’s a pause on his end before he speaks again. “Listen, Derek, I know Sharon’s been gone a few years now, and I get it if you’re not ready to date yet. But…maybe it’s time to let go of some of the anger you’re carrying. Not for anyone else’s sake, but for yours and the kids.”
“I hear you, Teddy,” I say, my voice gruff. “Just not that simple.”
“You’re not to blame for her death. Just think about what I said.”
“Yeah,” I murmur, giving him the closest thing I’ve got to an agreement. “Thanks.”
After we hang up, I stare down at the phone for a moment, his words still circling in my mind. Finally, I set it down on the counter and head upstairs, taking them two at a time. The house is quiet, except for the soft voices coming from Casey’s room.
I poke my head around her doorway and see Eric helping his little sister get into bed. She’s already snuggled under her quilt, and he’s tucking the edges around her, his face serious with concentration.
“Need a hand, Son?” I ask softly, leaning against the doorframe.
He glances up, shaking his head. “I’ve got it, Dad. Almost done.”
I watch him, my chest tightening a little at the sight of him taking on this protective role. He’s only twelve, but he’s got this quiet strength about him like he’s already figured out how to take care of his sister. Once he’s satisfied that the quilt is secure, he steps back, glancing at me.
“Good job.” I pat him on the back.
He rolls his eyes, trying to dodge my hand, but I catch the flicker of a smile.
I move over to Casey’s bedside, kneeling so I’m at her level. “Good night, kiddo.”
She reaches out, taking my hand in hers, her small fingers curling around mine. “Good night, Daddy. I like my new teacher. She’s nice.”
I chuckle, nodding. “Yeah, she seemed nice.”
Eric raises an eyebrow at me but doesn’t say anything. He’s observant like that, always picking up on more than he lets on. Ziggy and Marley are both curled up at the foot of the bed, their massive bodies taking up more space than my daughter.
“Football practice after school?” I ask Eric.
“Yes, sir.” He grins.
“No one has put in more work, Son,” I say. “I’m so glad the grade school has a football team to prepare you guys for high school.”
“Me, too. Thanks, Dad.”
“Alright, you two,” I say, standing. “Lights out. I’ll see you in the morning. First day of school.”
Casey yawns, her eyes already drifting closed as Eric gives me a nod and heads to his own room. I go back downstairs to the kitchen and pour myself a tumbler of whiskey. I take a long pull and carry it outside with me.
The moon is full and lighting up the grounds in an almost eerie way. I walk out to the barn to double-check the animals and make sure the workers secured everything for the night. The horses whinny in their stalls while the goats and pigs add to the farm noises.
Sometimes after a long day of hard work and orchestrated chaos, it’s nice to just relax with the animals. They’re great listeners and don’t talk back. I end almost every night this way so I can reset for the next day.
My late wife Sharon’s family ran this farm for the last fifty years. We loved the orchard's legacy. We had many ideas for the business and put them into place in the ten years we were married. Sharon hated the animal part of the farm, though, and despised the smell and the cleanup. It was somewhat ironic that she took off on one of the horses after we’d gotten into a silly argument. It was something that she’d never done before. She hadn’t ridden in years, and it took over an hour for me to realize she’d gotten on one of the younger mares, who was still not fully trained. Cinnamon got spooked, and Sharon was thrown. She hit her head on a rock and died.
It was my fault. All of it. Had I gone to look for her sooner, maybe I could have saved her.
We fought like married couples do, but she was my first love, and I’m still struggling to put one foot in front of the other without her.
Had I taken out the trash when she asked me to, we wouldn’t have gotten into the argument in the first place. Something so stupid, so trivial caused my kids to lose their mother.
Her parents and family all blame me for her death, too. They still refer to it as suspicious circumstances and think that I murdered her.
Sharon and her family never really got along great, which I didn’t understand until after her death.
They only show up every now and then to keep tabs on me and the kids, but I’d rather it be that way.
My thoughts flit back to Amber and her gorgeous smile. Man, I wish I could go back in time and make our first encounters different.
I shake my head. I finally feel a spark of life back in me after my wife’s death, and it’s caused by my best friend’s little sister, who is also my daughter’s teacher. I guess it’s fitting.
I’m sure it’s the universe’s way of telling me that I shouldn’t be dating anytime soon. The way I treated her tonight shows me that I still have some inner work to do.
But why can’t I get Amber’s soft lips out of my head?