Chapter 38
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Amber
“D erek and I just had a giant fight,” I say into the phone as soon as Sofia answers.
“I’ll tell Teddy to get the girls to bed. Come over. I’ll have margs ready and waiting. We’ll figure it out.”
“I…I don’t know…”
“Just come over. You shouldn’t be alone.”
“Okay,” I sob.
I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t want to be alone. That’s all that I know at this moment.
How dare he accuse me of lying to him? How dare he accuse me of any of the bullshit that he accused me of?
I guess I was right to worry about this.
Everyone was wrong. Including me.
I was so wrong about him. How could I have fallen for someone who is such an asshole?
Tears roll down my cheeks as I hug myself tightly. This is what I was scared of. I knew this would happen. Everyone told me it wouldn’t and now, now look at the mess it is.
I know that I should be relieved and that it saved me from losing months or years with him, but it still hurts like hell.
Ten minutes later, I’m walking up to my brother’s front porch. Sofia opens the door before I even knock. I hear the distant giggles of my nieces as they get ready for bed upstairs. Before I can say a word, Sofia wraps her arms around me, pulling me close.
“Oh, Amber,” she whispers, squeezing me tight. “Come on in.”
I swallow back tears, holding her as long as I need before she leads me into the house, her hand steady on my back. The kitchen smells like lime and something sweet; two margarita glasses sit on the counter, ice glittering against the salt-rimmed edges. I take a shaky breath, feeling my chest unclench a little.
“Teddy’s putting the girls to bed,” Sofia says softly, guiding me toward the back deck. “He’ll be out in a few minutes.”
We settle into chairs under the soft glow of the string lights that zigzag overhead, and Sofia hands me a glass. I take a slow sip, letting the icy tang of the drink numb the knot in my chest.
“So,” she says after a beat, her gaze steady. “What happened?”
I set my glass down, tracing the rim with my finger. “I…I snapped when he told me that Sharon was a good person. I’m still so angry about that, and I couldn’t separate it. I dropped what I overheard Nora say. All of it. And you know what he said?” My voice shakes as I remember it, the sting of his words still fresh. “He…he asked if I was dating him just to get back at her.”
Her eyes widen, and she shakes her head. “No. He didn’t.”
“Oh, he did,” I say, swallowing down the lump in my throat. “I couldn’t believe it, Sof. I mean, I expected him to be shocked and maybe even angry, but to turn it back on me like that? Like I have some vendetta?”
She lets out a sharp sigh, pressing her lips together. “Amber, that’s…God, that’s awful. That’s just wrong of him.”
I nod, my vision blurring as the hurt rushes up again. “And when I tried to explain myself, he got defensive. And when I…he ended our relationship and walked right out without even a conversation.”
“Ohhh, baby, I’m so sorry.”
“Was I wrong? I don’t know what to think right now. Did I really hear what I think I heard?”
“Stop that,” she urges. She leans forward, reaching across to grab my hand. “You’re not going to twist someone’s words so much out of a vendetta. That’s not who you are. Why are you letting this asshole make you question yourself?”
“I…I love him and…”
“And if he loved you, he would know better, and he sure as hell wouldn’t have accused you of this.”
If he loved you…
Her words sting more than I would have expected, and the reality of them is painful. She’s right, though.
I blow out a long breath and pull my knees up to my chest, hugging them to me. I shouldn’t have dropped everything the way I did. Maybe I should have taken a breather. Perhaps we both should have. It didn’t have to end the way it did. We were both so emotional and not listening.
“I just…God, even from the depths of hell, that woman is still ruining my life,” I groan.
Sofia stifles a laugh as she takes a long drink from her margarita glass. “Amber, you’re not wrong to be hurt. I get that he’s still grieving and even that in death, we tend to turn someone into this perfect angel that they weren’t…but this is too much.”
“It just… it made me doubt everything. Like, what if I was wrong? What if I blew this whole thing out of proportion without all the facts?”
“No, don’t go there. You were honest with him, and you had every right to tell him the truth. He should be thanking you for it, not questioning your intentions,” Sofia says, shaking her head.
We sit there in silence, the cool night air thick with tension, and just as I’m about to speak, the back door opens.
Did Derek come to apologize, or did he come to vent to my brother?
Teddy steps out, his face softening the moment he sees me. My heart sinks.
Why was I so hopeful that it was Derek?
“Hey, sis,” he says, crossing over and wrapping me in a big, comforting hug. “I’m so sorry, kiddo.”
I cling to him, the tears pouring down my cheeks yet again. When he pulls back, he keeps his hands on my shoulders, his gaze serious.
“You told him?” he asks.
I nod and fall back down into the chair. “He broke up with me after saying I was a liar, basically.”
Teddy blows out a long breath and shakes his head.
“I did a little digging this afternoon,” he says. “If the Livesays are coming for Derek and the orchard, I wanted to make sure that we had all the facts to give him his best chances against them. You were right. About Sharon. About everything.”
My heart stops. “Say more.”
He nods, pulling out his phone to scroll through some notes. “Sharon had a contract with that resort company. They’d already started working on permits. They weren’t just talks, Amber—this was a done deal. It’s all in the paperwork. She was planning to sell, no question.”
The weight of his words hits me hard, a strange mix of vindication and heartbreak. “Oh my god,” I whisper, more to myself than anyone else. “I wasn’t…I wasn’t wrong.”
“No, you weren’t,” he says, squeezing my shoulder. “None of that matters, though, because the Livesays have reopened that deal. That’s what he needs to know about.”
I nod, trying to process everything, but the sting of Derek’s reaction lingers. My stomach clenches as his words replay in my head. “I just…I can’t believe he reacted the way he did. Like I was the enemy.”
“He’s upset,” Teddy argues.
“Being upset doesn’t give him the right to say the things he said,” Sofia interjects.
“Do you have the proof of the contract and all of that for him to see?” I ask, dismissing them both. “I don’t think you should be the one to show him that. I think…I think that he’ll think you’re just on my side and lying, too.”
“I’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about that. He’ll come around.”
“No, he won’t. He was so…angry.”
Sofia lets out a sigh, picking up her margarita glass and taking a slow sip before setting it back down. “Amber, I know it’s painful, but I’ll play devil’s advocate for a second. You have to understand…Derek just had his world upended. He’s finding out that the woman he was married to for years was doing something behind his back, something he didn’t even see coming. That kind of betrayal? It’s…it’s not easy to process.”
“I get that, but—”
“Listen.” Sofia interrupts gently. “You were right to tell him, and he was wrong to react the way he did. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give each other a little grace in all this. He’s hurt, and unfortunately, you’re the one in the line of fire. It doesn’t make it fair, but it’s understandable.”
I clench my hands together, feeling the conflicting emotions well up inside me. “So what, Sofia? I’m just supposed to sit here and let him act like that?”
She shakes her head, her gaze steady. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying you need to give him the space to process this, and if he doesn’t come to you and apologize, if he doesn’t show you that he understands and values what you did, then…then you walk away. But don’t make that choice just yet.”
I look down at my drink, my heart shattering even more. Fear rips through me, and my stomach clenches.
What if he doesn’t apologize? Do I even want him to after he accused me of such ridiculousness?
What happens the next time I have to tell him something that he doesn’t want to hear? Will he yell at me, lash out at me, and break up with me then, too?
I’m hurt right now because I thought he was different, and that, maybe, he loved me too, but I don’t know if I can handle this in my life.
“It just…it hurts, you know? After everything, I thought he’d trust me. I thought he’d see that I’m on his side.”
Teddy holds up a hand, his expression gentle but firm. “Alright, let’s slow down a minute here, both of you.” He looks at Sofia and then at me. “This isn’t black and white. Derek’s got a lot to think about right now. And yeah, he messed up. But we don’t know what he’s going to do with this information. Give him the chance to prove himself before you write him off.”
I sigh, resting my head in my hands. “I just don’t know if I can, Teddy. I can’t go through all of this only for him to doubt me. How can I trust him again after that reaction? It didn’t even feel like an adult conversation.”
Sofia reaches over, brushing a hand over my shoulder. “Amber, I really think he’ll come around. He’ll see what’s right in front of him. But this isn’t just about you or even him. Relationships are all about giving grace, being patient and understanding, but also respecting yourself and your boundaries. I think he will admit he was wrong and apologize and won’t act…so irrational again, but only time will tell.”
I close my eyes, feeling the exhaustion settle in. “I just wish things weren’t so damn complicated. I want to be there for him, but I can’t if he doesn’t trust me. If he won’t let me. He chose her over me, and I’m not okay with that.”
“Oh, Amber. I don’t think that’s what this is,” Teddy says.
Sofia smiles gently. “I see why you would feel that. For now, just let him have this space. And when he’s ready, if he comes back with an apology and shows you that he’s willing to trust you, then… maybe give him a chance. Just one.”
Teddy nods, setting a reassuring hand on my back. “And if he doesn’t, then you’ll know that you did everything you could, Amber. You’ll know it’s not on you.”
All of their words are easier said than done.
My heart is in shambles as I try to process all of it. I’m hurt. I’m angry. I’m so damn sad. I love him, and I don’t want this to be the end, but I absolutely won’t accept just an apology. I have to be able to trust that this won’t happen again.
Can I even accept any apology from him?