Chapter 40
Chapter Forty
Amber
I ’m leaning against the doorframe of my classroom, watching the kids spill out into the hallway, laughing and loud, their backpacks bouncing as they hurry toward the exit. It’s dismissal, usually the best part of my day, but today, my stomach twists into knots as I spot Derek standing just outside the main doors, his hands shoved deep into his pockets as he waits for Casey.
My heart catches. He looks so out of place there, like he’s been dropped into my world but doesn’t belong, doesn’t want to belong. He’s staring off into the distance, his gaze hard and detached, as if the very sight of this place is too much for him.
I hug my arms around myself, hating the tightness in my chest, the prickling of tears that threaten to spill over. We’ve barely spoken since the night we fought, since I tried to make him understand what I found, what I was trying to protect him from. But all he saw was betrayal.
I never expected it to hurt this much.
Casey breaks through the crowd, her bright smile lighting up her face when she spots me. She doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t see the turmoil beneath my forced smile as she runs over and wraps her little arms around me in the tightest hug.
“Bye, Miss Shafer,” she squeals. “Are you coming to dinner with us tonight?”
I bite my lip, my hands resting on her shoulders as I shake my head. “Not tonight, sweetie.”
Her face falls, her expression tinged with a confusion that guts me. “Why not? You haven’t come for a while, and I miss you.”
Before I can answer, I hear my name called from down the hallway. Another teacher needs help with something, and I use it as an excuse to gently release Casey from my embrace. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later, okay?”
She nods slowly, her brow furrowing. “Yes, ma’am.”
It feels like she sees too much and understands more than a child her age should. She looks back over her shoulder at her dad, waiting at the door, and my stomach clenches again.
Derek still hasn’t looked at me. The fact that he hasn’t said a word to me, hasn’t even looked in my direction hurts more than I want to admit.
Did he ever even love me if he can shut me out so easily?
Tears prick at my eyes, but I take a deep breath and push them back. I walk down the hallway, my mind buzzing with a thousand things I want to say to him, a thousand things I wish I could change. But he doesn’t want to hear any of it. And I have to respect that.
I didn’t expect any of this to hurt so much.
As I drive home that night, the weight of everything presses down on me, and my thoughts drift to Bree’s wedding this weekend. My best friend’s wedding, a day I should be overjoyed about, completely lost in celebration and laughter. But all I can think about is that I’ll be standing by her side, watching her marry the love of her life, while my own heart feels like it’s being torn to pieces.
Back to square one again.
I let out a long groan and feel the sob rip through me before I can stop it.
“Why did it have to be like this?” I ask out loud.
Derek and the kids were invited. Of course, they were—Bree adores them, and she can’t exactly reneg on the invite now. I don’t know if they’ll actually come, but the thought that they might… it’s almost too much to bear. The idea of seeing them there, pretending everything is fine while his coldness would remind me of how broken things are between us now.
This is why I should have stuck to my own rule about not dating a parent. Why did I go against my own values?
I’m so angry with myself over all of it. I knew better and didn’t even trust my own intuition.
It’s been days, and the silence feels like it’s growing into something insurmountable. I’ve played our argument over and over in my mind, trying to pick apart what I could have said differently or how I could have made him see the truth, but every time, I come up short.
I know I was wrong in the way I acted because I overreacted. The thought claws at me, making me second-guess every choice, every word.
When I get home, I collapse onto the couch, sinking into the silence of my empty house. It feels too big, too hollow, like the space around me is expanding to fill the emptiness inside. I should be looking forward to the wedding, helping Bree with any last-minute details, but I can’t focus. My mind keeps circling back to Derek, to the way he wouldn’t even look at me today, like I was someone he couldn’t stand the sight of.
I look at my kitchen chair and see one of his hoodies lying there. I stand to grab it, snuggling it against me as if it were him. It smells like him, like wood and evergreen aftershave. The tears stream down my face even faster now.
There’s so much guilt and shame, so much anger and sadness. I don’t even know that I’m mad at him right now. I’m mad at myself for knowing this is what would happen and not trusting my gut with any of it.
I pick up my phone, scrolling mindlessly through old photos of us, the kids, Derek, and me. Smiling, happy memories that feel like they belong to someone else now.
“Grrr, this is torture,” I say out loud as I put my phone down and pull myself off the couch.
My phone rings, and I see my brother’s face on the screen.
“Hey, Teddy,” I say.
“Hey, come over for dinner tonight, why don’t you? I have a feeling you need to get out of that quiet house.”
“I don’t need to be babysat.”
“Well, I have some new information for you.”
“Tell me over the phone.”
“I handed Derek all of my proof this afternoon. I gave him an envelope with the contract that Sharon had signed, the building permits, all of it.”
“What did he say?”
“He didn’t open it while I was there, but I did see him going into Mike’s law office today.”
“He’s probably suing me for slander,” I grumble.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” Teddy chuckles. “I think he’s realized the truth.”
“He wouldn’t even look at me at the school today.”
“He’s probably embarrassed and still trying to wrap his head around it all.”
“Maybe so, but it’s none of my concern anymore. He spoke his piece and ended things. I’m over it.”
“You’re a terrible liar.”
“I have no other choice but to be over it. Besides, I have to focus on Bree’s wedding. She’s so stressed out and needs me.”
“Take time for you, though. You can’t just push this down into Neverland and ignore it forever.”
Yes, I can.
“I hear you,” I lie softly as I roll my eyes.
“Dinner tonight? Your nieces will cheer you up.”
“I’ll be there. I have a question.”
“What’s up?”
“Does the orchard belong to David and Nora, and they just allowed Sharon and Derek to live there?”
“There are different answers to that,” he says as he blows out a breath. “The Livesays tell everyone that Derek is trespassing, that they own it, and so on. I always thought the grandparents gave it to Derek and Sharon as a wedding present. Derek told me today that Sharon did something, and the orchard is completely his, free and clear.”
“Then how do they have any right to sell anything if that’s the case? None of this makes sense.”
“All good points. I assume Sharon didn’t tell them what she did either.”
“Hopefully, he takes it seriously and gets it all figured out, and they don’t lose their home.”
“I’m sure he will. Why don’t you head over now? The girls are excited to see you.”
“Fine,” I sigh. “Do I need to bring anything?”
“More margarita mix,” Sofia calls in the background.
I laugh to myself before hanging up the phone. I grab my stuff and head to my car. A few minutes later, I’m at the local grocery store perusing the aisles for margarita mix and a treat for my nieces.
“Miss Shafer!” Casey calls out from a few feet away.
I glance up to see her waving frantically. Her father is next to her, looking like a lost puppy.
God, why is he still so damn handsome. When someone breaks your heart, shouldn’t they become ugly or something? That should be a law.
My heart hurts at the sight of the two of them together. Just a normal weeknight that we should have been hanging out together.
It doesn’t help that it’s fully obvious by my puffy face and eyes, and no makeup appearance that I’ve been crying.
Way to make him see what he’s missing.
“Hey, Case,” I reply with a genuine smile.
“What are you up to, Miss Shafer?”
“Heading to dinner at my brother’s, and I needed to get a few things.”
“Oh, is that why you couldn’t come to dinner with us?”
“Yeah,” I mumble, looking away quickly.
“Will you be at Miss Bree’s wedding Saturday? Are you going with us?”
“I’m in the wedding, so I’ll be there before you,” I tell her softly.
“I think everyone in town will be there. It’s going to be so much fun.”
“I think you might be right.” I giggle. “I should probably get going.”
“Dad, why haven’t you said anything to Miss Shafer?” Casey asks as she spins around and pins her dad with a funny look. She turns back around and glances at me before leaning forward and whispering. “He’s mad at my grandparents about something but keeps saying it is a grown people conversation and I wouldn’t understand.”
“Probably best,” I answer, forcing a smile. “Don’t forget, I won’t be at school tomorrow, so you’ll have a substitute.”
“Oh, I forgot,” she murmurs before she hugs my waist tightly. “I’ll see you Saturday.”
“I can’t wait to see you all dressed up,” I tell her.
I turn on my heel and start back down the aisle. I need to put as much space between Derek and me as possible.
“Dad, why didn’t you even say hi? That was rude,” I hear Casey tell him.
It was rude, but he’s only showing me who he really is, right?