Epilogue
September 2024
My heart starts to race as Thomas the mailroom guy strides around the corner of the office wheeling boxes of books that have come in from the warehouse. I look over the top of the partition and try to hide my excitement, but next to me our intern, Jaala, looks up and I catch her smile.
‘Is that what I think it is?’ she asks.
‘I think so,’ I reply.
Thomas gets to our bank of cubicles and unloads two boxes of books. ‘I hear this one’s a special one?’ he says.
‘Very,’ I reply, spinning around in my chair to look at the boxes. They look the same as every box of books in the office, with the company logo on the outside, but already I feel like I’m going to burst into tears. ‘Jaala, do you want to find Charlie for me? She should be here for this.’
Jaala hurries to my side. ‘Already messaged her. She’s on her way.’
A second later a beaming Charlie comes around the corner, wielding a box cutter and her phone. She holds the phone up, filming me as she says, ‘You should do the honours, Brynn.’
Running the box cutter along the tape, I pull out the packing guards and cardboard shields to reveal it: the most beautiful book I’ve ever seen. My breath catches in my throat as I take it out of the box. The cover is gorgeous: a vivid pink and blue print with gold foiled details. I stroke my fingers over it, hardly believing it’s real.
‘Tell our viewers what it is, Brynn,’ Charlie prompts.
‘This is the first book from our new imprint Bamburr Books—a Blakfulla imprint with all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander staff,’ I say, holding the book up and looking into the camera lens. ‘It’s called Deadly Ones and is a beautiful collection of essays from Bigambul writer Robbie Parker.’
We film a little more content and then Charlie puts her phone away and pulls me into a hug. ‘We did it, Brynn! The first book of many for Bamburr.’
I stare at the book in my hands and think about the months of work that went into racing to get it to print. Robbie already had the essays written, which meant we were able to move the work through a light editorial process so it could be ready for the launch of Bamburr before Christmas. But it was a steep learning curve, arriving at the company in February, learning how to work in publishing as an assistant to Charlie and then being given the massive responsibility of co-editing the book with her. We’ve already commissioned three more books for next year and will be hiring Jaala to a full-time position, as well as employing our own marketing and publicity teams, as our list grows. It’s a dream come true—a dream that looks a bit different to what I’d imagined, but is just as perfect as all the things I’d imagined for myself.
‘Okay, well, don’t you have to get home?’ Charlie says with a few copies of Deadly Ones under her arm. ‘You’ve got your visitor arriving today, right?’
I glance at my watch. Shit, the flight will be landing any minute. Still clutching a copy of the book, I hurry through goodbyes and dash out of the building to catch an Uber home. Traffic on King Street is heavy and my foot jitters all the way.
When the car pulls up outside the neat little terrace house that’s been converted into two tiny flats, I practically leap out and up the two steps to the front door. Thrusting it open I’m met with a room full of people and luggage. Dotty is in the kitchen, liquor bottles spread all over the bench, pouring a wicked-looking pink cocktail from the silver shaker I keep more for decoration than use. Bridie is already holding a cocktail of her own, fiddling with the Bluetooth speaker. They’ve been here in Sydney for a week, enjoying a holiday ahead of being special guests at the launch of the Bamburr imprint tonight, and it’s been so good to show my two best friends my new home and life.
‘You’re home,’ Sienna says, rounding the corner from our bedroom. She’s fresh from work at the Newtown vet surgery, wearing bright pink scrubs with a kookaburra print. Her blonde curls are longer than they were in New York, hitting her shoulder blades, and after six months of life in Australia, her pale skin is kissed by the Sydney sun. She looks beautiful and relaxed and if our house wasn’t full of people right now, I’d be stripping those scrubs right off her.
‘Did it come?’ she asks, and I race over to her, thrusting the book out in front of me.
‘It looks amazing. You’re amazing and I love you.’ She pulls me into a hug and I fall against her. A moment later Bridie and Dotty hurl themselves at us as well.
‘Hey, are you lot leaving me out of the love fest?’ a voice comes from down the hallway and I wriggle out of the girls’ grip to see Corey framed in the front door with her suitcase, grinning at me. My smile mirrors hers and we just stare at each other for a moment before racing across the living room and colliding in a hug that bowls us both over. We sprawl on the floor together, giggling.
‘You’re here!’ I say. ‘I’m so sorry I couldn’t meet you at the airport! The books didn’t get in until late.’
‘I’m here,’ she says, as we lie next to each other, neither of us able to stop smiling. ‘Bring on a month of sun, sand, and perving on Aussie boys!’
‘I’ll drink to that,’ Bridie says. She’s returned to her cocktail while Corey and I were on the floor and is now holding it aloft.
‘Let’s swap boys to girls and I’ll drink to that,’ Dotty says.
‘Sorry,’ I say, getting up from the floor and kissing Sienna softly. ‘I’m good with my American girl. And besides,’ I turn to Corey, who’s looking cheeky, ‘you’ve got a boyfriend.’
Corey grins. ‘There’s no harm in looking.’
Later, after many of Dotty’s neon pink cocktails; five girls negotiating the use of one bathroom to get made up and ready, we squeeze into an UberXL and head into the city for the big launch party.
The event is bigger than I pictured, even though I helped plan it. There are so many people: local Elders and mob, our team and everyone at our parent publishing house, journalists and even some politicians. Robbie and Jack greet me warmly with hugs and kisses and then we’re swept off to be interviewed for a podcast.
I’ve just made my way back through a crowd of well-wishers to Sienna’s side when I see two familiar faces appear in the door of the bar.
For the second time that day, I take off running and launch myself into Chris’ waiting arms. ‘Dad, you came.’
‘Wouldn’t miss it for the world, dort,’ he replies, squeezing me tightly.
I feel Matty tugging impatiently on my dress. ‘Me too!’ he says and laughing. I scoop him up and include him in the embrace. My family.
‘Brynn, I hate to interrupt you,’ Jaala says, appearing at my shoulder. ‘But Charlie’s ready to do the speech. She says you’re both going to talk.’
‘We’ll be here when you get back,’ Chris says, patting me on the arm and then leading Matty over to Sienna and my friends in the corner.
On the stage, I look out at my people: my family, friends, community, and colleagues. Charlie does an Acknowledgment of Country, then moves into the formal speech thanking our company for their support. She talks about the direction she and Robbie want to take the imprint, but I keep thinking that while the room is so full of love and pride, there’s one person I really, really wish was here. I’m supposed to say that she is here, in spirit. But I don’t want her here in spirit, I want her here for real. I breathe deeply and let myself feel everything. I let myself wish for Mum. To love her and need her even though she’s not here.
‘And now, to my co-editor on this book.’ Charlie taps me gently on the shoulder, as though she knows I’ve disappeared somewhere during her speech. ‘Robbie and I found this brilliant young woman at his book signing in New York City,’ she says. ‘She cut her working holiday there short to come back to Australia and take up an editorial assistant role with me. But she’s so much more than an editorial assistant: she’s a staunch Bigambul woman, a powerhouse editor, and we would never have got Robbie’s book out to print in time for this launch if it hadn’t been for her tireless work. It gives me great pleasure to announce that, when she returns from her well-deserved summer break, she’ll be taking up a position as Bamburr’s newest editor.’
I gasp in surprise as my friends erupt into cheers that quickly spreads across the room.
When the applause has died down and I’ve said some words of thanks and returned to my group, Sienna folds me into her arms. ‘I got you something,’ she says. ‘To celebrate.’
She breaks away and leans into her bag, pulling out a frame that I have no idea how I didn’t notice earlier.
She turns it over and there is a beautiful collage. At the top is one of Mum’s handwritten missions: ‘Find the magic in the city. It might not be what you expected it to be.’
Underneath are pictures of New York: me, Robert, Cruz and Hilde surrounded by dogs at daycare, Perdita front and centre like the celebrity she is. There’s one of me and Corey in a booth at the Midnight Diner, and one of Sienna and me in a blanket nest on Jenny, the three of us at Wollman Rink. Sienna in her pink showgirl outfit, me and Robbie at his book launch. The photos are surrounded by notes and ticket stubs, napkins and bits and pieces. There’s even a sliver of the Halloween dog parade petition.
And there, at the bottom, Sienna has added a picture of Mum: a brown girl in a too-pink leotard and pointe shoes. The camera has caught her in a leap: arms high, long legs split in a jeté .
‘Your nan sent the picture,’ Sienna says. ‘Apparently they had a photoshoot when your mum was at Tisch. I thought it should be included in your New York memories since there’s so much you did because of her missions.’
I blink back tears and snuggle against Sienna. ‘I love you.’
She smiles. ‘I love you too, Brynn.’
THE END