11. Amara #2
I was looking forward to a carefree evening but that idea evaporated the moment I spotted Flynn and Shelby across the sand.
I'd known they would be here—Jax had mentioned it earlier—but seeing them now, in the flesh, hit me like a blow to the chest. Flynn stood with a drink in hand, his usual smirk firmly in place, while Shelby looked polished, her gaze cutting through the crowd like a knife.
Jax squeezed my hand, sensing my unease. "You okay?" he asked.
I nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, I'm fine. Not gonna let them ruin my fabulous weekend."
We hung out with Jax's friends, but I knew that we'd ultimately have to talk to Shelby and Flynn. After all, Jax knew the families and Rena was almost like a godmother to him.
Jax squeezed my shoulder as they made their way over, and I tried to brace myself for whatever barbs Shelby and Flynn had prepared.
They'd never been kind to me—Shelby with her condescending comments and Flynn with his sleazy advances—but tonight, I felt particularly vulnerable.
Maybe it was because I'd allowed myself to believe, even for a moment, that I was moving on and realized, to my embarrassment, that I wasn't ready.
Just because Lucas didn't love me hadn't reduced my affection for him, which was a shame.
"Amara," Shelby called out as they approached, her voice oozing with false sweetness. "What a surprise to see you here. I didn't realize you and Jax were still…an item."
"Amara was kind to accompany me for this golf tournament," Jax interjected coolly.
Flynn grinned, that smug, knowing grin that made me want to slap it off his face. "Well, well, well. Look at you, Amara. Moving up in the world, aren't you? Jax is a hell of a catch. He's no Covington, obviously, but definitely up there, yeah?"
I ignored him and caught Emily's eye as she sauntered over with her husband, Ace. "Shelby, Flynn, oh my God, imagine seeing y'all here!"
Shelby's gaze landed on Ace and Emily, familiar faces in our tight-knit, tangled Charleston social scene. They all exchanged the usual hug-kiss routine, while the men shook hands.
"Amara, so great to see you again." Emily pulled me into a warm hug.
Ace leaned in, brushing his lips against my cheek. "Hey, gorgeous."
Their greetings were deliberate, a subtle signal to everyone around that I was part of their circle.
"Keep your hands off my girl, Ace," Jax teased good-naturedly.
I hadn't told Emily, Ace, or any of Jax's friends about Lucas, but it looked like they knew (probably because of how small Charleston was) and were supporting me. It felt good, and once again, I wished Lucas's friends had been this way; instead, they were the ones who'd tried to put me down.
"We didn't see you at the Prentiss anniversary." Emily leaned into her husband, a champagne glass in hand.
"We wanted to make it but couldn't. We've been so busy," Shelby replied, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied me. "Planning the wedding, of course."
My heart skipped a beat.
Emily quirked an eyebrow. "The wedding?"
Shelby tilted her head, feigning innocence. "Oh, didn't you know? Lucas's all but proposed to Kath. It's only a matter of time. I thought you would've heard, Amara, considering how close you two used to be."
Her words hit me like a physical blow, the ground shifting beneath me.
I'd heard rumors, of course—seen them together—but hearing it from Shelby, in such a casual, matter-of-fact way, made it real.
Too real. I felt Jax's hand tighten around me, grounding me, but the damage was done.
I was shattered, my heart breaking all over again.
Lucas was marrying Kath. I wasn't surprised by that announcement; and neither was I astonished at how much it hurt me. Shouldn't I be over him after all these months instead of moping around like a spineless woman?
"I'm so happy for them. Do give Lucas my best," I crooned, not giving Shelby the satisfaction she sought, though the words tasted like ash in my mouth.
Flynn chuckled, clearly enjoying the show. "Don't worry, Amara, I'm sure you'll land on your feet. After all, you've got Jax now, right?"
The sleazy implication in his tone made my stomach turn, and I could feel the bile rising in my throat. I needed to get out of here, away from them, away from their toxic presence.
Ace's jaw clenched. "I think you've got the wrong end of the stick, pal. Jax is the lucky one to have someone like Amara give his ugly mug any attention."
"Truer words have not been said." Jax kissed the side of my head.
I felt weak and stupid, having to be held up by so many people, all because of Lucas.
At least no one can see what's in my heart and mind. I'm going to be okay. I'm going to be absolutely fine.
Flynn chuckled. "And here Lucas thought he hurt you; probably a good thing he left you if you so quickly moved on, right?"
"Crossing lines, Flynn," Jax warned.
"Oh please, Jax, Amara has been seeking a man in Charleston society and—" Shelby began.
"Excuse, us, but I've had enough of your company," Jax smoothly cut her off. "In the future, Shelby, Flynn, you see either Amara or me, just keep walkin', yeah? I don't think I want to mix with uncouth assholes like you."
There was a gasp that ran through the group and from the few people who overhead Jax, who hadn't tempered his volume; Emily smirked, and Ace openly laughed.
Jax led me away from the crowd and down to the water's edge, where the noise of the party faded into the background, replaced by the soothing sound of the waves.
The sand was cool beneath my feet, and the moonlight blanketed us with calm, but I couldn't find any peace in it.
Not with Shelby's words still ringing in my ears.
"Amara," Jax said gently, his voice cutting through the fog in my mind. "Talk to me. Tell me how you feel."
I held back my tears but I knew he could hear them in my voice. "Hearing about Lucas and Kath made me realize how much I'm still not over him, and I hate that I still love him, and I hate that he's getting married to…someone else."
Jax was quiet for a moment, his gaze thoughtful as he watched the waves roll in. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, darlin'. I get it. I've been there."
He had mentioned being in love once. "Still not over her?"
He nodded, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his lips. "I am now. We were together for a few years, and I thought she was the one. But things didn't work out, and I took it hard. Real hard. It took me a long time to get over her, and for a while, I thought I never would."
I could hear the pain in his voice, the remnants of an old wound that still hadn't fully healed. "I'm so sorry, Jax."
He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
"Yeah. She wanted things I couldn't give her then.
A life I wasn't ready for. She ended it, and I spent the next couple of years trying to pretend like I was fine, but I wasn't. I dated other people and tried to move on, but nothing ever stuck. I wasn't ready."
I nodded, understanding all too well. "That's how I feel. I thought I was ready to date again, but the truth is, I'm still hung up on Lucas."
Jax turned to face me, his eyes kind and understanding. "You'll get over it. I did…mostly."
I laughed. "Mostly?"
He shrugged and winked at me. "Yeah. I think when you really fall in love, the years blunt the pain of loss, but it never goes away.
My grandma has been gone for a decade, and I still miss her, not with the same intensity as before, but there's a hole in my heart.
We humans are resilient, though. We can survive with a hole in our heart. "
I leaned into him, and we watched the waves.
"I never thought I could be friends with someone like you."
"What does that mean?" he asked.
I looked up at him, smiling wide. "Someone so full of himself."
"With good reason," Jax countered. "I mean, when you're perfect, it's hard to be humble."
"You're a lot like Lucas," I mused.
Jax nodded. "Yeah. I know."
"When he was with me, he was sweet and loving; affectionate, supportive…except when it came to his family."
"Lucas is a Covington and thinks the family name is important; that following traditions and all that shit matters.
See, I gave it all up, and sure, my family is thrilled now that I'm successful, but when I said no thanks to the Caldwell textile empire, my father told me I'd fail, and he wouldn't lift a finger to help me; granddad basically disowned me. Good times."
He said it casually, but I could see that his father and grandfather's defection—not having faith in him and not wanting his happiness—had tainted his feelings for them.
"And now?
"Now, I'm the Caldwell who won the PGL Championship."
I stepped away from him and put a hand on his cheek. "You shouldn't have to win anything to have your family's approval. That should be there unconditionally."
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine. It was not sexual but loving, full of affection and gratitude.
"Do you have that?"
I nodded. "My father is amazing. He's going to come here for Thanksgiving. I hope you'll have a chance to meet him. He's pretty impressed I'm now friends with the reigning PGL Champion…though he doesn't see golf as a real sport."
Jax narrowed his eyes teasingly. "We'll have to change his mind."
"My father is as blue-collar as it gets. Only contact sports, according to him, are the real thing." I leaned back into him and turned to face the water. "Thanks for having my back with Shelby and Flynn."
"I know you think I was doing you a favor, but we're friends, and I get as much being with you as you do being with me. No thanks needed, darlin'."
We stood there for a while longer, just watching the waves, the sound of the party a distant hum behind us.
After a while, I told him, "I think I'm going to go to bed. You should stay. Your friends are here."
"You sure?"
"Yeah. I'm going to go drink the minibar," I said slyly, "And live to regret it tomorrow."