Chapter Seven #2
“And when breakfast is over, you are gonna sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing for the rest of the day, except read, watch TV, or any other activities that don’t require movement. Do I make myself clear?” Dad gave Greg a firm stare.
“Crystal.” Greg’s stomach rumbled, and he flushed.
Micah chuckled. “That’s your cue, Dad.” He glanced at Greg. “Smart move. It’s always best to just nod and agree. Makes for a far easier life in the long run.”
Greg gave him a half smile. “I’ll bear that in mind.”
“And after breakfast, before you take up residence on the couch, you can go into my office and call your mom,” Dad added as he put the pan on the stove.
Greg blinked. “Oh. Okay. Thank you.”
Dad beamed. “See? We’re all gonna get along great. All you have to do is do exactly what I say.”
Micah leaned closer to Greg and said in a stage whisper, “We let him think he’s in charge. It makes him happy.”
Greg snickered, and quickly reached for his glass of water. His pallor had lessened, for which Micah was thankful. The meds might make Greg woolly-headed, but that had to be better than the pain.
And maybe the meds will make the call to his mom a little easier. It was obvious to Micah that Greg wasn’t happy about the prospect, which only made Micah curious to know more. What’s the deal with his family?
He had a feeling they’d know soon enough. One thing seemed certain: they had a lot to discuss over the coming days.
Greg stared at the phone in his lap. The office door was closed.
Joshua had gone to the store, and Micah had said something about working on a canvas.
Greg suspected they were giving him space and privacy, which he greatly appreciated.
It was only when he started to tap out the numbers that he realized it was a harder task than he’d anticipated.
When was the last time I dialed from memory?
It was all too easy to press a single key.
We’re letting our brains go dull by relying on technology.
Greg knew he was procrastinating, but he couldn’t help it.
Anything to put off the moment. Sighing, he concentrated for a minute or two, until he was sure he had the right number.
The phone barely had chance to ring twice before it was answered.
“Hello?” His mom sounded almost cautious, then Greg realized she didn’t recognize the caller.
“Mom? Hi.”
“Gregory Michael Chambers, where are you?” Her voice was so loud, he had to hold the phone away from his ear. “And why aren’t you answering your phone? I’ve called, I’ve left messages on Facebook, I’ve sent texts….”
Greg’s chest tightened, and his throat thickened. “Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” The words came out as a croak. “I lost my phone.” That was true, technically.
There was a pause. “Are you all right, sweetheart? You don’t sound so good.”
He cleared his throat. “I’m fine.” Then he reconsidered. “Okay, not all that fine, if I’m honest.”
She sighed. “You’ve had me so worried.”
Greg almost dropped the phone in surprise. “Really?”
“Well, of course. What with your dad… dying, and you calling to say you weren’t coming home right away… I figured you were just taking some time for yourself. But I haven’t heard from you in two weeks. Of course I was worried. We both were.”
He hadn’t expected that. “I didn’t think you’d have time to be worried. You have too much to do.”
Mom chuckled. “Yes, well, taking care of two-year-old twin boys who both have colds… and then Damon comes down with man flu, so basically my life is hell right now. I’m also not sure about who exactly is the bigger baby—the twins or him.”
Greg knew his mom and Damon hadn’t planned on having kids: the twins had been a bit of a shock, especially as mom had just passed her fortieth birthday when she discovered she was pregnant.
“So where are you now?”
Her question dropped Greg back into the present. “I’m in Wyoming.”
“Still? What on earth are you doing there?”
“I had a promise to keep, that I made to Dad.” Silence fell. “Mom?”
“You’re an adult. I can’t tell you what to do anymore, I know that. You’re twenty-four, almost twenty-five, and you have a mind of your own, but… there are things I never told you about your father.” A pause. “I just don’t want you to be shocked if you learn things about him that—”
“Are you talking about him being gay?” Greg blurted out.
The silence was almost deafening.
“Is that why you two split up? Is that what he meant about living a lie?” Now it made sense.
“He… told you he was gay?”
Greg sighed. If only. “No, mom, he didn’t say a word.”
“Then how did—”
“He asked me to deliver a letter. Well, I got to read it.”
Another pause, and his mom’s voice changed subtly. “He wrote to Joshua, didn’t he?” All of a sudden, his mom sounded tired… resigned.
“You knew about Joshua?” Greg’s world gave a little wobble. “When did he tell you?”
“We’d been married about six months. I was already pregnant. Except… if I’m honest, I knew there was someone, long before then. I just didn’t expect it to be a guy.”
“But… he married you. He must have loved you.” Even as he said the words, he could see part of the letter dancing before his eyes. Something about his dad never loving her the way he’d loved Joshua.
“I suppose it’s all right to tell you everything, now that you can understand.
We became good friends when he first came to my high school.
We were both in our final year. There was something about him, an air of…
sadness, I suppose. A mysterious quality.
When we left high school, we stayed friends.
His parents were very keen for us to marry.
” She chuckled. “You can say that again. I was married at nineteen.” She sighed.
“But I was fine with that. He was handsome, intelligent, and he could be really funny. Hell, at eighteen, all I could think of was marrying him and having his children.”
“Then what happened?”
“We got married, of course. Instead of going to college, he got a job, and his parents bought us a house. I wanted to start having kids right away, but he wasn’t so sure.
” She laughed bitterly. “I suppose the signs were always there. He was never that keen on… Never mind. I wore him down, and I was so happy when I found out I was expecting you.”
“You said he told you when you’d been married for six months.”
“Yes. That was when I realized my dream life was a lie.” Another pause.
“It was the last thing I expected to hear, that he was gay. That he’d been in love, and had lost him.
That he didn’t think he could cope with…
living life as a straight man. I begged him not to leave. I told him I’d make him happy.”
A wave of sorrow washed over him. “I’m guessing he stayed.” They hadn’t split up until Greg was three.
She huffed. “I knew he stayed because I was pregnant. And give him his due, he did try, really. It didn’t help matters, of course, that I knew deep down he wasn’t happy.
And now that I think about it, that was the problem.
That knowledge was always there, like a rift between us.
Once you were born, I thought he’d settle down, get used to being a father.
I didn’t know how deeply the guilt was slicing into him. ”
“He couldn’t stand living a lie.”
“No, he couldn’t.” Her voice was soft. “He told me he was no good for me, that he was destroying my life as surely as he was destroying his own. He told me I deserved to be happy, with someone who loved me totally, in a way he never could.”
“And what about me?” Greg could understand not wanting to stay in the marriage, but he’d left and had virtually severed all contact with them. Sure, there had been cards and presents for birthdays, Christmas, graduation… But no visits.
“Aw, sweetheart. Your dad did love you. I think he felt he’d already ruined my happiness, he didn’t want to ruin yours too.
Like he was bad luck or something. And then when Damon came along, your dad was so happy for me.
He was glad you’d have a father figure in your life, someone you could rely on, depend on… . Not like him, he said.”
Greg had been the one to make the first forays into forging a relationship with his dad.
Greg had waited until he was twenty-one before contacting him.
Now at least, he finally understood his dad’s reticence.
It had taken several phone calls and a lot of emails before he’d agreed to see Greg.
“He really believed I’d do better without him, didn’t he? ”
“When you first told me you were going to see him, I was so worried. I thought it would end badly, that you’d come home a mess. But… you didn’t.”
“Maybe it was because he was older,” Greg reasoned.
His dad had just celebrated his forty-first birthday, and Greg had gone to stay with him.
What surprised him was how well they got on.
Greg had travelled to Jackson, unsure of what to expect.
What he’d found was a quiet, reflective man with similar tastes in books, movies and music.
A man he’d really liked, enough that when he learned his dad was dying, it had almost shattered him.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?”
He knew what she was asking. “He’s been gone a month, but yes, it still hurts.” Now there was a new edge to his pain, an added dimension. Now Greg knew exactly what he’d lost.
“I know. And of course it still hurts. So sad you had so little time with him, but at least you got to know him. So where are you in Wyoming?”
He bit back a chuckle. “If I told you, I don’t think you’d believe me.
Let’s just say I’m among friends.” She didn’t need to know about the previous week, not yet, anyway.
And Greg wasn’t sure he could cope with his mom’s angst right then.
“And speaking of my friends, this is their phone bill I’m charging up, so I’d better finish soon. ”
“Wait a moment. You said you’d read your dad’s letter. How did you manage that?”
“I delivered it to Joshua… who let me read it.” He wasn’t about to tell her who he was staying with. He wasn’t sure how that would be received.
“I see. Are you coming home for Thanksgiving?”
He sighed. “Actually? I was thinking about staying here. Would you mind?” He didn’t want to hurt her, but he wasn’t about to contemplate traveling to San Diego in his present state. Besides, there were still questions to be answered.
“Of course I mind. Families should be together at Thanksgiving. But… I do understand. Promise you’ll keep in touch? Can I call you on this number? Will you be there for a while?”
“I’ll be here,” he reassured her. “Try not to get too frazzled with the twins? And don’t put up with Damon’s man flu any longer than you have to. Tell him to man up.”
She snorted. “Yeah, I can see that remark going down well.” She paused. “I’m sorry I waited so long to have this talk. I should have said something a long time ago.”
“No. It was always Dad’s place to share that with me. You did the right thing.” Only Dad didn’t, did he?
Somewhere in the house, he heard Micah singing a Frank Sinatra song. Greg smiled. “Sorry, mom, I have to go. I’ll call soon, okay?”
“Not if I call you first,” she said. “Take care, Greg. Love you.”
“Love you too.” He disconnected the call, conscious of all the things he’d left unsaid.
They would have to wait.