Chapter Eleven
Jeff jerked back. “I’m sorry too.” At least now he had an answer to Chris’s question—apparently it was too soon after Matt’s death for Dave to get involved with someone else.
I shouldn’t have pushed. And now he’d ruined what had been a perfect evening.
“Hey, you have nothing to apologize for.” Dave’s cheeks were flushed, his eyes wide, his breathing a little erratic.
Pain blossomed in the back of Jeff’s throat. I did that. Although he hated himself for doing it, he had to get out of there, because staying would only mean awkwardness and discomfort for both of them.
“I think I’d better go.” He stood. “Thanks for the dessert and the DVD.”
“Oh. Okay.” Dave looked lost.
That’s because I just confused the hell out of him. One minute they’d been laughing, the next, Jeff was kissing him.
Jeff went into the hallway and grabbed his coat from its hook. Dave followed him, standing in the doorway to the sitting room. Jeff struggled to find the words.
What do I say to him after that?
“Look, I’m going to be busy the last few days before Christmas, so we probably won’t run into one another. Got to get those last-minute requests in to Santa, right? So if I don’t see you before the big day, have a great Christmas. I will get Chris a present though.”
“Like I said, you don’t have to do that.”
“But I want to,” Jeff stressed. Especially as I can’t get him what he wants for Christmas. Sorry, kid.
He paused at the front door. “Thanks again for coming tonight.”
“You’re welcome. And please thank Amy for me.” Dave swallowed. “Look, Jeff—”
“It’s okay, really.” Jeff pasted on a smile. “Our timing was off, that’s all.” He squared his shoulders. “Take care. Bye.” And with that he crunched over the gravel to the gate.
Not exactly how I thought the evening would end, but I only have myself to blame. He strode through the park, mentally kicking himself.
I shouldn’t have pushed.
He’s not ready.
I screwed up.
It wasn’t until he reached the station that he remembered the champagne. Damn. Well, Dave could have it. Jeff wasn’t in a champagne-drinking mood.
Dave locked and bolted the front door, his head spinning.
What just happened?
All he knew for certain was that he’d been enjoying it—right up to the point where his brain had kicked in and guilt-tripped him into breaking that kiss.
What must he think of me? No wonder Jeff had got out of there so fast. I hurt his feelings. He debated chasing Jeff, but he’d be at the station by then, and that would only heap further embarrassment on him. I can’t leave it like this.
He didn’t want to leave it like this.
He set the guard in front of the fire, then switched the TV off. He was in no mood to watch anything. As he took the dessert plates into the kitchen, he caught sight of Matt’s photo.
“You’d like him. And he’d love your sense of humour.”
Dave had moved past liking Jeff some point between strolling around a waxworks museum and making mince pies. It was hard to pinpoint the exact moment when he’d known Jeff had become important to him
Too important to let things end like this.
Dave climbed the stairs with a heavy heart. He sat at the foot of his bed, staring at his reflection in the mirrored wardrobe doors.
“You need to fix this.” He knew why he’d bolted like a skittish colt—all that remained was to explain himself to Jeff.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, and he removed it, holding his breath.
It wasn’t Jeff—it was Beth.
He glanced at the clock beside his bed: it was already past ten o’clock. “Is everything okay?”
She chuckled. “Just calling to let you know tonight has been a roaring success.”
I’m glad someone’s night was. “Has Chris behaved himself?”
“He’s been great. They’ve made a blanket tent in Ethan’s room, and the pair of them are fast asleep inside it. They’re worn out. What time do you want him home tomorrow?”
“Whenever you’re ready to bring him.”
“Well, we’ve planned a visit to the zoo in the morning, so it will probably be in the afternoon, if that’s okay.”
“That’s fine,” he assured her. “Chris’ll love that.” Something clicked into place… an idea…. “In fact, that’s perfect. There’s something I need to do tomorrow, so if you want to hold onto him until late afternoon that would help. As long as that’s not an imposition.”
She laughed. “Are you kidding? Ethan has been nagging me to let Chris stay the whole weekend, seeing as there’s no school on Monday, so I don’t think that will be an issue. If you need us to keep him longer, just give me a shout, all right?”
“I’ll let you know. I take it he’s not missing his dad?”
Beth chuckled. “He’s too busy playing games, watching films, and talking nonstop with Ethan. I think Chris is the brother Ethan always wanted.”
And maybe Chris’s question about a brother or sister wasn’t as casual as he made it sound.
Dave said goodnight, then disconnected. He stared once more at his reflection.
“Time to decide where you want this to go.” Because he needed to know that before he saw Jeff again.
He stripped off his clothing and got into bed. The shutters were open, and moonlight spilled into the room, giving his white sheets a blueish tinge. Dave lay on his back, his arms folded behind his head.
“I want him, Matt. I hope that’s all right.” He swallowed. “I feel as though it is, because I don’t think you’d want me to be alone. And our son could so easily love him.”
Dave could love him too.
December 22
Jeff pasted on a smile he didn’t feel. “Now, remember to leave a carrot for the reindeer on Christmas Eve.” He was thankful for the heater standing in the corner of the hut: he kept stamping his feet to prevent them from going numb with the cold.
The little girl beamed. “And a mince pie for you.”
He patted his stomach. “Thanks, but I’m on a diet.” That made her giggle. He waved to her as her mum led her away.
Jodie the head ‘elf’ poked her head around the corner of his hut. “Er, Jeff? Are you ready for your next customer?”
He frowned. “Since when do you ask? You normally just herd them in.”
“Yes, but… this one is a little out of the ordinary.” Her eyes sparkled.
Before he could ask her what was so different, she disappeared back around the hut. Jeff leaned back in his chair, his hands on his knees.
And then Dave came into view.
Jeff’s breathing quickened and his pulse raced. “Hello.”
“Hi, Santa.” He held up a pink ticket.
Jeff blinked. “You… you’re the customer?”
Dave drew nearer. “Yes, and I know you get a lot of last-minute requests this time of year, so I’d like to share mine.”
What the hell?
Jeff cleared his throat. “Well, let’s see if I can help.”
Dave hunkered down beside his chair, his hands laced. “So, Santa… there’s this man I know, and I think he’s got the wrong idea about something.”
Jeff’s throat tightened. “Oh?” It was all he could manage to get out. Dave’s cologne invaded his senses.
Dave nodded. “You see, the other night… we kissed, and I pulled away from him. Now, I’m pretty certain he felt as if that reaction was his fault, that he’d done something wrong.
But you see, he hadn’t. I stopped kissing him because…
I felt bad. Not because he’s a bad kisser, because believe me, he isn’t. ”
Jeff’s cheeks grew warm.
“I stopped because kissing him felt so good. It’s been a while since anyone kissed me, and for a moment there…
.” He drew a deep breath. “It felt wrong to be enjoying his kiss so much, almost as if I was forgetting about the last time someone kissed me. But last night, I realized… that someone wouldn’t mind me kissing him.
If anything, he’d be happy for me. So what I need you to do for me, Santa, is to get a message to the gorgeous man who shared cheesecake with me, and laughed with me. ”
Jeff’s heart pounded. “What’s the message?”
Dave’s eyes twinkled. “Could you tell him I’d like to try that again please?”
Oh God. Jeff tried to swallow past the lump in his throat. “Did… did you have any idea when you’d like him to try it again?”
Dave pursed his lips, and all Jeff could think about was how they’d felt against his. “When he’s finished work this evening, he’s welcome to come to my house for dinner. Will you tell him that?”
The heaviness that had been on his shoulders since he’d woken that morning melted into nothing, leaving his body—and his spirit—lighter.
“I will. If it’s the person I’m thinking of, he finishes work at five.”
Dave beamed. “Great. Then tell him I’ll have dinner ready for seven. Oh, and tell him there’s a bottle of champagne in the fridge with his name on it. Literally.”
Jeff chuckled. “I’ll be sure to pass that on.” He heard a discreet cough from the back of the hut. “Sorry, but I think my next customer is waiting.”
Dave got to his feet. “Thanks for your time… Santa.”
Clive cleared his throat and gestured to the camera. “I take it you don’t want a photo.”
Dave smiled. “Thanks, but no.” He strolled away from the hut.
Jeff sagged into the chair. What the—
Jodie came back into view. “Okay, what did he want? I was in two minds to let him through, but he’d paid, so there was nothing I could do.”
Jeff smiled. “He wanted to tell me what he wanted for Christmas.”
What do you know? There is a Santa.
By the time six o’clock rolled around, Jeff was walking up to Dave’s door.
It felt way too early, considering they weren’t eating until seven.
He’d shucked off his Santa suit, grabbed his coat, and hightailed it out of there as if his arse was on fire.
When he’d arrived at Victoria he’d only just made the train.
His heart pounded, he was breathless, and his whole body tingled. Jeff took a deep breath and rang the bell. It opened almost instantly, and he grinned. “You were standing there, waiting for me, weren’t you?”
Dave gave a sheepish smile. “Oops. Was I that obvious?” He stood aside to let Jeff enter, then helped him out of his coat.
“It’s getting really cold out there.” Then Jeff’s heartbeat quickened as Dave cupped his cheek.
“Your face is frozen. Come and sit by the fire. I’ve made coffee.”
The intimacy of his touch shocked Jeff into stillness, but he regained his composure enough to murmur, “Your hand is warm. So I guess the saying is wrong, because you certainly don’t have a cold heart.”
Dave’s breathing hitched. “No, I don’t.”
Jeff followed him into the siting room, but what caught his eye instantly was the dining table.
It had been laid out with a white tablecloth, and two red candles stood in the centre, their flickering flames reflected in the sparkling wine glasses.
Red folded napkins stood out against the snowy white cloth.
“Oh wow. You’ve been busy.” He sniffed. “And something smells wonderful.”
“It’s only roast chicken, roast potatoes, carrots and parsnips.”
Jeff chuckled. “Only, he says. When I do a chicken, it’s the roast-in-a-bag variety from the supermarket.”
Dave bit his lip. “So is this. I had to shop in a hurry.”
Jeff laughed. “It’ll be delicious.” Then he realized something was missing. “Where’s Chris?”
“Still at Ethan’s. I don’t think he wants to come home,” Dave joked. “He’ll be here in the morning.”
Jeff’s gaze went back to the table. “No one has ever made me dinner.”
“Then you’ve been dating the wrong men,” Dave said emphatically. Jeff’s pulse raced. Oh God. Then his heart danced when Dave leaned in and whispered, “But that’s about to change.”
Jeff swallowed. “So are you saying you’re the right man?”
Dave’s eyes locked on his. “If you want me to be.”