36. Aubree
THIRTY-SIX
My kids are nine years old today. My once teeny tiny babies are nine freaking years old. It’s also the day of their party. I’ve tried to make the party as special as possible but feel like I’ve failed because it isn’t what they wanted… what they hoped for.
My kids aren’t spoiled brats—contrary to what they sounded like the other day when listing off all the stuff they wanted for their parties. But since they go to a private school—that my in-laws insisted on paying for because I can’t afford it, and it was Peter’s wish for them to attend the same private school he went to—they come across children who are well off and some are downright wealthy. And because kids don’t actually understand the value of a dollar, and I refuse to burden them with my financial woes, they don’t understand that what they were asking for costs a lot of money.
So I lied and told them that a lot of people are on vacation because it’s the summer, and I wasn’t able to find any of the stuff they want. And then I pushed Brody and Hayden away when they were only trying to help by finding me vendors that I could book at the last minute. A part of it was because I was embarrassed for them to show up at the party and see it’s lacking everything they can afford—it’s the reason I don’t invite them up to my place unless necessary. And the other part—which has me feeling like shit—is that I resented the fact that they could afford everything I can’t. They sent me bounce houses and clowns and a princess that would probably make my daughter cry in happiness and didn’t even consider the cost…because they don’t have to.
Now, it’s the day of the party, and I wish I hadn’t pushed them away. All they want is to be a part of my life, and I keep shoving them out the door at every turn, which is unfair to them on many levels.
I consider texting and telling them I’d love for them to be there today, but my pride prevents me from actually typing out the message.
Evie steps out of her room, twirling in the American Girl leopard dress Beatrice bought her that matches her doll, and my heart sinks as I wonder if I made a mistake by not selling out of my lease. It would’ve meant having money in the bank since the little bit of savings I have is dwindling quickly, thanks to the distributors raising their prices, and Heart’s turning a smaller profit because of it. And on top of that, I’ve been looking at apartments, and holy shit, the kids and I will be living in a damn shoebox—if we’re lucky. But when I imagine my grandparents’ pride and joy being demolished, I know I did the right thing. Besides, if I sold out of the lease, I’d either have to find a new job or open Heart’s somewhere else. And since everything has gone up in price, wherever I find to lease will put me back in the position I’m in now.
“You look so pretty,” I tell Evie, pulling my phone out of my pocket and snapping her picture.
“Why thank you,” she says, doing a curtsy like she’s royalty. “Is it time to go yet?”
“Soon. Grammy and Papa are coming to pick us up, so we don’t have to carry all the food and decorations to the park.”
“Okay! I’m going to brush Molly’s hair while I wait,” she says, then skips down the hall with her doll tucked under her arm.
“Miles, you almost ready?” I ask, peeking into his room.
When he doesn’t answer, I step farther in and find him sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at the photo of the four of us. It was their last birthday before Peter passed away.
“Hey.” I sit next to him and pull him against my side, kissing the top of his head. “You okay?”
“I miss him,” he says softly. “I wish he were here.”
“Me too, buddy,” I choke out, suddenly missing Brody and Hayden. One shouldn’t coincide with the other, and really thinking about my late husband should probably make me not want to be around them, but every time I think about him, it reminds me how short life is and how our loved ones can be taken from us at any moment. And those stupid details like me being embarrassed or having too much pride to text them are ridiculous and only hurt us all.
“Can we go visit him soon?” Miles asks, referring to his dad’s gravesite.
“Of course.” I kiss his cheek. “Go brush your teeth and get your shoes on. Grammy and Papa will be here soon.”
He nods and walks out the door, leaving me staring at the picture of the smiling family who had no idea that a few months later, their happiness would be taken from them in a blink of an eye.
With that thought, I pull my phone out of my pocket and dial Hayden’s number. He answers on the first ring.
“Hey, baby, you getting ready to party?”
Of course, he holds no grudge toward my decision to uninvite them. “Is Brody with you?” I croak out.
“Yeah, is everything okay?”
“Yeah, can you put me on speakerphone?” I ask, glancing at the picture one last time before I walk out of Miles’s room and into mine, closing the door so the kids don’t hear me.
“Hey, sweetness,” Brody says. “Are the kids excited for their birthday?”
“Yeah,” I choke out, unable to hold back my emotions. “But I’m calling because…I’m so sorry.”
“Bree, are you crying?” Brody asks.
A second later, the phone rings in my ear, and I click accept to turn the call into a video call. The guys appear over the screen, and their worried faces send me over the edge.
“I’m so sorry I pushed you away,” I sob, wiping my tears so I can see them. “The truth is, I can’t afford the party the kids want, and when you guys sent me all that info, it made me feel worse. I know you were only trying to help, but I let my pride get in the way of just telling you the truth, and instead, I uninvited you. And I’m sorry.”
I sniffle through my sobs. “We haven’t really talked about it, but I’m kind of in a weird place right now financially. I had no idea how expensive apartments are nowadays until I started apartment hunting because I went from living with my husband to living where I live now, and it scared the crap out of me. And on top of that, several of the distributors for the coffeehouse have had price increases. My profit has decreased by over fifteen percent because I haven’t raised my prices.”
I take a deep breath in and then release it. “Anyway, I’m sorry for the way I’ve been acting, but I’d really like it if you’d come to the kids’ party, if you don’t have plans. You’ll probably be bored, but I want you there. I want you in our lives. If it’s not too late.”
Brody speaks first. “Of course, we’ll be there. We get that you’ve been doing this alone since Peter died, but you have us now. Even if we’re just someone to talk to, we’re here.”
“I’m going to work on that.” When Hayden hasn’t said anything, I say, “Hayden, do you… want to come?”
“Of course, I do,” he says with a sigh that makes me nervous.
“Are you mad at me?” I whisper, sounding like a kid instead of a grown-ass woman.
“No,” he says. “I just… I want to give you and your kids the world and I hate that you’re struggling when Brody and I could do that. I love you, and all I want is for you and your kids to be happy. I know you’re independent, and I respect the hell out of that, but if it were up to me, you’d let us take care of you.”
“And I love that you love me enough to want to do that but respect me enough not to.”
“Mommy! Is it time to go yet?” Evie yells through the door.
“Yep, one minute,” I tell her. Then to the guys, I say, “Thank you for being patient with me.”
“Always,” Brody says back. “We’ll see you soon.”
“Mom! Look at the bounce house!” Miles gasps.
“And there’s a princess!” Evie squeals.
“That has to be an obstacle course,” Miles adds in awe. “And there’s water coming out of it!”
I stare at the setup in front of us in confusion. Ponies, bounce houses, face painting, a clown walking around with balloon animals. The pavilion looks like Minecraft and American Girl threw up all over it. This doesn’t make any sense because I didn’t order any of this.
“Did you do this?” I ask my in-laws, who shake their heads.
“Did they double book the pavilion?”
Which would make sense, except what are the odds both parties have the same double themes?
And then I see them sauntering toward us wearing nervous smiles, and I know who did this. And while I should probably be pissed that they did it behind my back, the excitement on my kids’ faces prevents me from saying anything other than, “Thank you,” when I hug Hayden and then Brody.
“Is it our party?” Miles asks with hope-filled eyes.
“Who else’s party would it be?” Brody asks with a laugh, ruffling his hair. “Are those your friends playing?”
Miles nods.
“Then it must be your party.”
Miles goes to run toward his friends but stops and turns around and flies at me, nearly knocking me over. “You’re the best mom in the whole world,” he says, then runs off.
Evie gives me a hug after him, telling me she loves me more than double chocolate chunk brownies, and then takes off after her friends, and I’m left completely choked up with emotions.
“I can’t believe you did all of this. How did you manage to pull it all off that fast?”
“I’d like for you to meet my aunt Amalia,” Brody says, pulling an older woman into his side. “She specializes in this stuff.”
“Thank you,” I tell her, giving her a hug. “It’s so nice to meet you. This is all amazing.”
“You’re very welcome,” she says warmly. “This was easy compared to some of the events I’ve put together over the years. I need to get going, but everything is handled.” She gives Brody a hug. “Let’s do brunch soon.”
“Thank you,” I tell the guys again. “This means so much to the kids and me.” Tears fill my lids as I watch Miles and Evie running around and laughing with their friends. This is a party they’ll remember and talk about for a long time.
“We got you,” Brody says, kissing my cheek. “Always.”
“Damn right, we do,” Hayden says. “Now, how about we go check out that obstacle course?” He leans in and whispers, “I’m dying to get you wet.”
Before I can retort, he picks me up and throws me over his shoulder like I’m a sack of potatoes and stalks toward the bounce house.
“Hayden!” I screech. “Put me down! I can’t get wet. I need to grill the food.”
“The only thing you’re doing is having a good time,” Hayden says. “And we brought you a change of clothes.”
“Can I go in the water?” Miles asks, running up next to us.
“Yep,” Hayden says. “We brought you and your sister a change of clothes too.”
Miles yells in excitement and runs straight for the obstacle course.
“Miles, help me!” I shout.
Hayden gets to the big inflatable thing, and that’s when I see it… a huge pool of water. “Hayd?—”
Before I can finish yelling his name, Hayden drops into the water, taking me with him. “I can’t believe you!” I hiss. “You are so dead!”
Reaching into the water, I cup my hands and then push a shit ton of water at Hayden, soaking his entire face. He tries to bat away the waves of water as I continue to do it over and over again.
“That’s what you get!” I say through a laugh.
“Oh, yeah?” he splutters. “It’s on!”
He grabs me by my hips and drops me into the water, and then proceeds to tickle me. I scream and shout, flailing my arms and legs, laughing so hard, I’m almost positive I’m going to pee myself. I’m drenched, my hair is a mess, and I’m sure the little bit of makeup I put on is running, but I don’t give a shit.
“C’mon, Miles,” Hayden yells over at my son, who I see is standing near us, observing. “Come tickle your mom.”
“Miles, don’t you dare!” I shout playfully through my laughter.
“Miles, I’m holding her down,” Hayden says, grabbing my hands and forcing them over my head. “Now’s your chance.”
Miles glances back and forth between us, and I hold my breath, waiting to see what he’ll do. He was emotional this morning about missing his dad, and my dating is new for him. I know he’s watching to see if these guys are worthy of being with me.
His eyes meet mine, a sly smile spreading across his face, and then he jumps into the mini pool of water and starts tickling me. And as I howl with laughter, for the first time since Pete passed away, I feel like we’re really going to be okay.
“I don’t think I can walk,” Miles mutters, his head landing against the side of my arm in exhaustion.
“Me neither,” Evie adds with a tired sigh as her head falls into my lap, and she cuddles against me on the bench.
It’s almost nine o’clock, and the kids have played, laughed, and eaten their hearts out. Even though Amalia said it was all taken care of, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving until everything was cleaned up and picked up by the rental companies, which means my kids got to play extra long. Unfortunately, that also means my in-laws left a long time ago, taking their vehicle with them.
“All right, everything is back to the way it was,” Brody says, walking over and smiling down at the three of us.
“Thank you for everything.”
“I think you’ve thanked us a dozen times,” Hayden says. “Stop it.” He leans down and presses his lips against my forehead. “We love you, and it’s our pleasure to make sure you and your kids are happy.” Butterflies erupt in my belly, and I close my eyes, letting his words resonate deep within me.
They love me… Despite losing my first love and best friend, I’ve found two guys who love and care about me, who care about my kids enough to make their entire day. I have no idea how I got this lucky, but I vow never to take them for granted.
“C’mon,” Brody says. “Let’s get you three home. I drove here.” He bends so he’s at Evie’s level. “Would you like me to carry you, princess?”
She nods and tiredly sits up, lifting her arms so he can pick her up. He gently takes her into his arms, and she wraps her legs around him, her head dropping onto his shoulder and her eyes closing. My heart expands at the sight. At my daughter trusting the man I love enough to let him carry her.
Miles sits up and stands.
“You good?” Hayden asks him.
“Yeah, I’m nine now. I’m practically a man. I can walk.”
Hayden stifles his laughter and nods, extending his arm to fist bump Miles, who reciprocates.
Gathering all the gifts they got, we head to Brody’s vehicle. The drive is quick, and he parks in the front so they can help me carry everything—as well as Evie—up.
Brody lays her in bed and then leaves the room so I can change her into her pajamas. After kissing her good night, I head over to Miles’s room to say good night. Only before I enter, I hear him talking to someone. I peer inside and find Hayden and Brody standing with Miles, who’s holding the picture frame in his hands that contains the photo of the four of us from their last birthday with him.
“That’s my dad,” he says. “He wrote me a letter that said to make sure he’s good to her, and Mom said that means she has to laugh and smile.”
Miles goes to his drawer and pulls out the letter. “It says I have to be supportive, but I don’t know what that means.” He shows the letter to the guys, who take it and read it.
“I think it means to be okay with it,” Brody says, his voice hoarse. “Like, if she’s happy, it’s okay to let her date him, but if she’s not happy, then you shouldn’t be okay with it.”
Miles nods in understanding. “She laughed and smiled a lot today.” I suck in a sharp breath, his words causing me to choke up.
“We like when she laughs and smiles,” Hayden says.
“Me too,” Miles agrees. “And I don’t want her to be alone.”
Oh, my heart. He’s referring to the part of the letter where Pete told him that eventually, the kids would leave and wanted me to find love so I wouldn’t be alone.
“She’ll never be alone, buddy,” Hayden says. “She’s got you and Evie.”
“Yeah, but it says right here we’re gonna leave.” He points at the letter.
My hand goes to my chest, clutching it over my heart.
“I don’t know when we’re leaving, but I don’t want her to be alone,” Miles says solemnly. “If you want to love her, I’m okay with it.”
As I watch my nine-year-old do what no kid should ever have to do at his age—be the man of the house—a piece of my broken heart that I never thought could be pieced back together after losing Peter slides into place.
“Thank you,” Brody chokes out. “We do love her very much. And I promise, no matter what, she’ll never be alone.”
Another jagged piece fits into place.
“I know you have a mom and a dad,” Hayden adds. “But if it’s okay with you, we’d like to be your friend. And if you ever need anything, we’re here… always.”
And just like that, my heart feels as if it’s almost whole again.