38. Aubree
THIRTY-EIGHT
“Is there a reason I keep ending up in a bed sandwiched between my kids instead of with you and Hayden?” I ask sleepily, crawling into Brody’s bed since he’s already awake. It’s early. Three thirty in the morning. But I have to get going to meet my new baker. I probably should’ve spent the night at my place, but the kids are starting camp today and begged to sleep here, which doesn’t surprise me since they’ve asked to spend the night the past two nights as well.
Hayden said by sleeping here, they can sleep in instead of getting up early with me, and I couldn’t argue with that.
What I can argue with, however, is why all three nights we’ve slept here, I’ve started off sleeping in one of the guy’s beds and ended up in a different bed.
“There is,” Brody says, setting his phone down and giving me his full attention. I love that no matter how busy he and Hayden are with work, when I talk, they stop what they’re doing and listen. I noticed over the weekend that they do the same thing for my kids. Several times they would be texting or emailing, and when my kids wanted or needed them for something, they stopped and gave them their attention.
“When I was growing up, my mom went through boyfriends and husbands like one goes through underwear. Sometimes, I would wake up and find her in bed with a guy I didn’t know, and it made me uncomfortable.” He takes my hand, threads his fingers through mine, then looks at me and smiles softly. “When your kids see us sleeping in the same bed, I want them to know it’s because we’re a family. I want them to understand what is happening and to feel comfortable with it.
“I love that you’re comfortable with staying here with them, and that you want to go to sleep and wake up with Hayden and me. I just feel that when we do that, it should be because we’ve agreed to spend our lives together.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” I ask, a bit confused. “I thought what we’re doing is serious, that we’re in a committed relationship. That’s the only reason I allowed you to meet my kids.”
“We are,” he says. “But dating isn’t the same thing as getting married and creating a life together.”
His words have my head spinning. “We can’t get married,” I blurt out. It’s against the law to marry two people, and there’s no way I’m choosing one of them over the other.
“Not in the eye of the law, but we can still put a ring on your finger and have a ceremony. One where we exchange vows in front of our family and friends.”
I imagine walking down an aisle somewhere, dressed in a gorgeous white dress, and waiting for me is Hayden and Brody, both wearing sharp tuxes and prepared to say their vows to me. Before, I couldn’t even fathom marrying another man, let alone two, but now, the thought has my heart swelling in my chest, butterflies attacking my belly.
“I want that,” I admit out loud.
“You want what?” Hayden asks, strolling into the room and dropping down on the other side of Brody, since Brody is in the middle, and I’m sprawled out next to him.
“Brody was saying that even though we can’t get married legally, he wants to have a ceremony, and I was saying that I want that too. I want to commit myself to you both in every way possible, even if that means we do it our own way.”
Brody and Hayden both grin.
“Good,” Brody says, palming the side of my face. “When we get married and move in together, we’ll spend every night together in one bed.” He leans in and brushes his lips against mine. “I can’t wait for you to be our wife.”
“Mommy! Look what I can do!” Evie screeches as I step out of the elevator. It’s been a long day, but the second I see her excited face, just before she raises her arms and flies into a cartwheel, I can’t help but smile.
“Wow, that was really good,” I tell her as she does two more.
“I know, right? Camp was so much fun. I got to do lots of gymnastics and dance, and we went swimming, and I jumped off the tallest diving board. Miles was too scared, so he didn’t jump, but I told him it wasn’t scary, so if we go swimming again tomorrow, he’s gonna try it.”
“I’m not scared,” Miles says from the couch, where he and Hayden are playing video games. “It was just really tall, and I didn’t feel like walking up all the steps.”
“And that’s completely fine,” I tell him, sitting next to Hayden.
“How was camp?” I ask Miles.
“Good. I met a friend. His name is Matthew, and he likes hockey like me.”
“How was your day?” Hayden asks, pausing the game so I know I have his attention.
“Long. The espresso machine is giving me problems. I’m going to have to have someone come out and look at it. And the guy who fixed the oven said it was good to go, but when I was baking this morning, dozens of muffins burnt, and the fire alarm went off.” I sigh, remembering the fire department coming out, despite me trying to tell them it was fine. “Now, I’m going to be charged, and I’m still down an oven and now an espresso machine.”
“Is there anything I can do?” he asks.
I shake my head and then lean down and press my lips to his. “You’re already doing it,” I whisper. “Thank you for helping with the kids.”
“Oh, Mom!” Miles says, dropping his controller and turning toward me. “Coach Henry said if you say it’s okay, I can play on the hockey team. Matthew is asking his mom too. Can I play? I have the papers for you to sign in my backpack.”
“That’s awesome. I’ll read over the papers once we get home, but I don’t see why not.” Speaking of which… “Why don’t you guys start cleaning up, so we can get going?”
“Now?” Miles asks. “But I’m playing with Hayden.”
“And I have to show Brody my cartwheels,” Evie adds. “He told me to show him when he gets home.”
“You’re leaving?” Hayden asks.
The three of them stare at me with various amounts of confusion and disappointment, and I feel like it’s three against one.
“I’m going to get a drink in the kitchen,” I say slowly, my gaze meeting Hayden’s.
He looks at me confused but then catches on and says, “I’ll join you.”
Once we’re alone, I lean against the counter, and he cages me in, kissing me softly. “Missed you today.”
“I missed you too. Mondays are rough after the weekend.”
He trails kisses along my jawline. “Stay here tonight.”
“The kids need to take showers, and I need to make dinner,” I say through a groan as he places a kiss above my pulse point, making it a point to nip playfully at my flesh. “I’m sure I have laundry to do from their day at camp,” I add.
“They can shower here,” he says, lifting his head and looking at me. “Brody can pick up dinner on his way home. And we have a washer and dryer here. Besides, with us taking the kids to camp, it’s easier to stay here so they don’t have to get up so early with you. Brody and I got them ready and out the door just fine this morning.”
“Hayden,” I say with a light laugh. “The kids have four weeks of camp. We can’t stay here the entire time.”
“Why not?” he asks, kissing me again. This time, his tongue slips past the seam of my lips, and I really wish we were alone so I could get lost in him.
But we’re not, so I gently push him back.
“Because this isn’t our home.”
“Huh?” he asks in confusion, clearly distracted.
“You asked why we can’t stay here,” I remind him with a soft laugh. “This isn’t our home,” I repeat.
Hayden simply shrugs. “It could be.”
A knot forms in my belly at the thought of living here with them as a family, but I push it away because it’s too soon.
“Stay,” he says, resting his hands on my hips and nuzzling his face into my neck. “Just for tonight,” he murmurs, running his nose along my jawline. “Please.”
“Bree!” Savy, Brody’s stepmom, pulls me into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.” She pulls back and glances to the left of me. “And you must be Miles and Evie,” she says warmly. “I’ve heard so much about you. I’m Savannah, Brody’s stepmom, but you can call me Savy.” She points at her husband. “And this is his dad, Benjamin, but you can call him Benji.” She winks playfully and her husband groans, shaking his head.
“You can call me Ben,” he says. “Did you bring your suits? The kids are already in the pool.”
“Yes!” Evie exclaims. “It’s under my clothes.”
“And can you swim on your own?” Ben asks both kids.
“Yep,” they both answer.
“Well, then, head on back and have fun.”
They both waste no time flying through the house as if they’ve been here before, and I glance at Brody, who laughs. “I’m going to make sure they get in okay,” he offers, walking by and giving his dad a handshake, his stepmom a kiss on her cheek, and then stopping and kissing my forehead.
“Where do you want these?” Hayden asks, holding up the box of treats I brought for the end of the summer Labor Day barbecue Savy and Ben are throwing before the kids start school next week.
“I’ll take those,” Savy says with a glimmer in her eye. Lifting the top, she takes a whiff and sighs. “Mmm, they smell so good.”
We head out back and find Brody’s aunt and her husband, Gerald, lounging by the pool while the kids take turns going down the pool slide. Brody introduces me to Gerald since I already met his aunt at the kids’ birthday party and then pulls me onto his lap on a lounge chair, so we can watch the kids swim and play.
The kids were good swimmers before, but since they spent the past month at camp, swimming almost every day, they’ve turned into the most adorable little fish, confident in the water. I honestly don’t even know what I would’ve done without Brody and Hayden signing them up and taking them and picking them up from camp the past four weeks. Bringing them to work isn’t as easy as it was when they were little and loved to help me.
“Brody mentioned your kids go to King’s Cross,” Amalia says. “Brittany goes there as well.” Brittany is her and Gerald’s teenage daughter, who’s not here today because she’s at a cheer event with her friends.
“Really? What a small world,” I tell her. “Peter went there as a kid.” I realize my mistake the second Amalia’s brow furrows. One thing that sucks about being a widow is having to explain why since it’s not normal for a woman my age to have lost her husband.
But before she can ask and I have to answer, Brody wraps his arms around me from behind and squeezes comfortingly, then says, “Peter is the kids’ father. He passed away a few years ago.”
“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t know,” Amalia says.
I smile gently at her. “It’s okay.”
“Are you attending the open house tomorrow?” she asks, changing the subject.
“Theirs is Tuesday since the kids are in elementary school,” Brody says, shocking the hell out of me.
“How did you know that?” I ask.
“They told us,” Hayden says, “when they asked if we would go.”
“And we told them we had to check with you first,” Brody adds. “They told us about it on their way home from camp. Apparently, this is the first year they’ll have different teachers. Miles isn’t thrilled, but Evie seems okay with it.”
Miles isn’t thrilled because he takes his role as big brother seriously, which drives Evie crazy since he’s only four minutes older.
“We told them that if we don’t go, we can meet you for dinner afterward,” Hayden says. He doesn’t mention spending the night because I told them we have to go back to sleeping at our place now that school is starting since all the kids’ stuff is there.
Both the kids and Hayden and Brody weren’t thrilled. And truth be told, I’m not either, but it’s too much work going back and forth between the two places, especially when the bus goes to my place to pick the kids up and drop them off every day. It was justifiable when the guys were taking them to camp, but now that camp’s over, we have no reason to continue staying there.
And it’s too soon to consider moving in together. I mean, it’s only been a few months. That’s not enough time to make such a serious decision… right?
Yet the past month we’ve been staying with them has gone smoother than I ever could’ve imagined. The kids adore Brody and Hayden, and the guys clearly feel the same way. In the past month, we’ve created this routine that feels comfortable and right. Every day I think it can’t be this easy to bring all these pieces together, yet it is that easy. The kids have taken over the two guest rooms, each wanting their own bed, and I sleep with Evie in her room. Jesus, her room, like it's actually hers. A huge ball of emotion fills my throat at the thought of going home tonight and not sleeping under the same roof as the guys.
“Hey,” Brody says, pulling me from my thoughts. “If you don’t want?—”
“Of course, you guys can come to the open house,” I choke out, trying and failing to get my emotions in check.
Brody eyes me. “Then what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I whisper, not wanting to do this with everyone here.
Brody opens his mouth to argue, but before he can get the words out, Evie calls his name.
“Brody, come and play Marco Polo with us!”
“Yeah!” Penelope agrees. “You can be Marco!”
“Hayden, they have a basketball hoop. Come play!” Miles adds.
Since the guys can’t say no to my kids, they both get up, throw their shirts onto the chair, and jump into the water.
The kids squeal in delight as Brody chases after Evie and Penelope, and Hayden lifts Miles onto his shoulders to dunk the ball into the hoop. And as I watch them laugh and play, I can’t help but wish that tonight we would be under the same roof. It might have only been a short time since we’ve been together, but Brody and Hayden have had no trouble burrowing themselves into my kids’ and my heart in that amount of time.