Chapter 4
Was Francesca Palmer the one that got away? No. Because I never had her. Don’t get me wrong, I tried. But I was a foot shorter and scrawnier back then and she seemed to go for the cowboys. Guys who could rope a steer or ride a bull. I could do neither, so her pretty brown eyes never settled on me.
Seeing her again after all these years caused a twinge of pining to flutter in my stomach. This wasn’t the first time Fancy returned to town since leaving. But this was the first time in a long while our paths crossed. Usually by the time I got word she was in Hume, she was already gone. But it sounded like her departure date was up in the air and I was interested in getting an audience with the superstar .
We’d grown up together, went to the same schools. It would be nice to catch up. Not that I had much to share. I was in the same spot she’d left me doing the same shit, fucking with the same people. All while she was a top charting country artist who’d met people and gone places I could only imagine. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy with the life I created. The nursery, my farm, and family. My life was ordinary by design.
“Were my eyes deceiving me or was that Francesca Palmer?” Dial asked, carrying a pot way too heavy for her.
I ran to where she stood. “I got it.”
“I’m good, Eddy.”
“Stop insulting me and put the pot down.” I was raised to be a good southern gentleman, which meant helping without being asked.
Dial complied; she knew better than to fuss with me about this. “So was it, Francesca?”
“Yeah, she came in with her mom.”
“How long’s she in town for?”
“She didn’t say.”
Dial sniffed, “I thought when she and Darla left Hume they had no plans of ever coming back.”
“Did she say that?” Dial didn’t care for Fancy, which was odd because they were technically family because of Maple.
“Words weren’t needed.” She wiped her hands on her faded jeans.
“Well looks like she’s here now. For a little bit anyways.”
Dial eyed me suspiciously. “Edison Birch, don’t you dare get entangled with that woman.”
“Whoa, wasn’t it you who just the other day told me I needed to find a lady friend?”
“I meant someone local and attainable. You’ve been chasing that girl around in your head since your freshman year.”
“In my defense I wasn’t the only fourteen-year-old boy with designs on Fancy.” Back in high school Francesca Palmer was like the dream girl from every tv show or movie. She had a smile that powered the hearts of all the young, hopeful suitors at Hume High. Fancy would walk the halls in her tattered jeans or floral dresses, her hair fluffy and big like a lion’s mane. Back in the day she hadn’t quite figured out how to manage her tight curls. She was popular but she never played the mean girl. That role was reserved for Willa.
“Doesn’t she have a boyfriend?”
“I don’t give a fuck who she dates. You don’t have to worry about me. Our momma didn’t raise no fool. And my stance on settling down hasn’t changed.”
“I’m not a fool but you … you are a buffoon,” she teased, heading back into the nursery.
I scooped up the pot and set it with the rest on display. Dial was right. When I ran into Fancy inside the greenhouse, my heart kicked like a wild horse. Most times people graduate from high school and in a few years the realities of adulthood in a small town sinks in and weeds start growing around your feet while your hair thins and your midsection expands. But Fancy … she still had the shine on her.
Fancy Palmer was a distraction I didn’t need. I already had so much going on with the shop and my parents. In the nine or so years since she’d left Hume, I’d probably seen her in the flesh on one other occasion when she came home for her parents’ twenty-fifth anniversary. Damn near everyone in town was invited including me. But since then, we hadn’t crossed paths, and a part of me felt like Fancy was deliberately trying to avoid me.
I could be like a dog with a bone when my mind was ruminating on something or someone. It was clear as long as Fancy was in town I’d get no rest. Shit, maybe it was better finding out I’d missed her after the fact. Because knowing she was in town and us not talking didn’t sit right with me. I needed to forget, pulling out my phone, I texted the only person I knew could help.
Edison: Are you up for company tonight?
Willa: If it’s you, yes.
Edison: I’ll bring food. See you at seven.
From the moment I arrived, I knew Willa was the perfect distraction. She was wearing a dress which hugged her curves before flaring out. Her hair was in an effortless ponytail that swung in line with her hips when she walked. She flung her arms around me and her vanilla scent left me a bit lightheaded. Why had I been avoiding this woman again?
“Hello stranger.”
“Hi. I bought wings. I hope that’s good.”
“It’s perfect.” She planted a soft kiss to my lips.
In the living room we enjoyed our food with the tv on mute. And Willa talked my head off. That was another thing I liked about her. She was never at a loss for words while I, on the other hand, was always searching for the right words to say. She’d talk, I’d listen and nod in agreement. If she was happy, then I’d done my job.
“Are you good? Do you need more blue cheese?” I asked.
“I’m great, this is delicious.”
“It’s just Farm Basket.”
“Well maybe it’s more the company than the food.”
“Oh yeah, you like my company?” I licked my lips.
“I do when you’re around.”
“What do you mean? I’m always around.”
“You don’t return my calls, you pretend not to be home when I drop by.”
“I work late a lot.” That was a lie. I was home, but just not up for company. I’m a call first type of dude. Don’t just show up unannounced because it will be a wasted trip.
“I don’t mind chasing, Edison, but at some point you have to slow down.”
Why was everyone trying to get me to settle?
“You and I both know you haven’t had to chase a man a day in your life.”
Willa smirked. That woman could be engaged tomorrow if she’d just kick me to the curb. Willa Barlowe was the type of woman any mother would be thrilled to introduce as her daughter-in-law. She was friendly, helpful, and smart. Everyone liked her. In high school she was a bit of a mean girl, but like most teenagers she’d changed. Take me for instance, I used to be considered a nerd in school because I was always reading books about agronomy and plant pathology.
In college I got a degree in horticulture science. Growing up in the nursery, plant propagation, nutrition, and preservation were my passions. I was never much of a people person. I had a robust friend group but my social battery died quicker than others. Which is why, outside of my family, I was known by my friends as the guy who went MIA for weeks at a time, only to pop back up like I’d never left.
“Guess who I saw at the post office today?”
“Who?”
“Guess? You’ll never.”
I fucking hated guessing games. “Honestly I don’t know.”
“You’re no fun.” Willa pouted.
“Okay, Kane?” I hoisted a careless shoulder.
“Eww no. Fancy Palmer.”
I diverted my eyes in an attempt to conceal any hint of interest. “Oh yeah.”
“Yeah, she was with her momma. Dressed super basic, just a T-shirt and shorts and her hair …” Willa laughed at a joke inside her head. “I said hi and she acted like she didn’t know who I was. She was squinting and looking at me all weird. It took her a minute, but then she was like, “Willa, how are you?”
“I’m sure she didn’t mean anything by it.”
“Maybe. Not going to lie, it was kind of trippy seeing her in person. Now that her songs are playing on the radio station twenty-four seven, it’s almost like her growing up in Hume was a fever dream.”
“Our homegrown superstar.”
“Shit if I was as famous as her, I’d never step foot in this town again.”
My brows twitched toward one another. “Why?”
“Because Hume and its dirt roads can’t compete with LA, New York, or London.”
“Damn right they can’t, if you like a city where no one remembers your name.”
“My bad, I forgot the Birch family is pro Hume.”
“Why wouldn’t we be? Hume is our home. Just because a place has twenty Bean There Done Thats in a ten-mile radius, it doesn’t make it better.”
She planted her arms across her chest. “And what does Hume have that makes it so special?”
“You …” Willa’s jaw slightly dropped at the unexpected compliment. “Me, Mr. Morton, Dial, Keni. The people are what make Hume special. Fuck LA.”
“Well Fancy doesn’t feel that way.”
“Then fuck her too.” I didn’t mean that but the fact that Los Angeles was blessed with Fancy’s presence pissed me off. I knew damn well no one in LA cared a piss about her, not like most people in Hume did. No matter where she traveled, Hume would always be here waiting for her.
“I thought you and Fancy were friends?”
I kissed my teeth, “In high school. We’re a long way from that.”
“So I shouldn’t be worried now that she’s in town?”
“Worried about what?”
“You two?”
“Fancy isn’t checking for me. She never has, and I’ve moved on.”
“Have you?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Edison …” There was a distinct energy when a woman was about to ask you about your future together. The air got denser, and it became harder to breathe. Willa’s smile while still present, was askew. It was flat, no longer sincere. And her eyes were like camera shutters focusing in on every pore and fine line on my face. “Don’t you get tired of keeping people at bay?”
“I’m just a private person.”
“Bullshit. If you wanted to you would.”
She had me there, all I could do was nod in agreement.
Willa cupped my face, rubbing her thumb across my cheek. “Baby, I want to love you, but it seems like you don’t want to let me.”
My stomach turned. Willa being in love with me was the last thing I wanted. And now that she’d actually verbalized it, I knew this relationship had run its course. She was an amazing woman but beyond the sex, we weren’t compatible. We didn’t share a single interest. She liked rom-coms. I liked shoot em ups. She hated animals. I had a cat, two goats, some chickens, and a cow named Scout. She wanted a modern country house, and I was comfortably settled on my rustic farm.
Willa continued. “I was thinking, and I don’t remember the last time you asked me out on a date that didn’t include staying in and watching a movie.”
“I don’t think that’s true. We went for a drive not too long ago.” Willa and I weren’t a couple. And I never led her to believe our hook ups would transcend sex. But I knew she wanted more. So by not coming around I was trying to end it without having to have the talk and witness the disappointment on her face. “I thought we’d agreed to keep it casual.”
“I am keeping it casual. I only see you once or twice a month as it is. I’m starting to think you’re interested in keeping it pushing. If you don’t want to see me any more just tell me.”
Goddamnit, this was not the night I’d envisioned. I’d hoped for a low-stakes evening. My stomach knotted into tight coils. This was the part I hated, which is why I avoided it like the plague. I didn’t want to let anyone down. Clearing my throat I said, “I think you’re great, Willa. I do.”
“But?” Her eyes searched my face for answers.
“I’ve enjoyed the time we’ve gotten to spend together. The sleepovers … your delicious quiches in the morning?—”
“Ugh Edison, just spit it out. You always talk like someone is feeding you the words through an earpiece.”
Ouch. “I just think maybe we’d be better as friends with no benefits.” One of the words to best describe me was people pleaser. I was the type who typically went with the flow, only jumping ship when a waterfall was visible. This character trait had me eating food I was allergic to and tolerating others’ bad behavior just to keep the peace.
“So you came over to break up with me?”
No, I came over to fuck. But clearly that plan was a complete bust.
“I just want to be honest. I’ve been stuck on one person before, and I ended up with hurt feelings and lost time. You deserve better than that. Better than me.”
“Edison, I get you’re scared but I’m not asking for a white wedding and picket fence just yet. I just want you.”
Scrubbing my beard, I declared, “You’ll get over it. Trust me in a year from now you’ll be thanking me.”
“So that’s it?”
“I’m afraid so. I’ll probably wake up tomorrow and regret having this conversation, but I think this is where I exit.”
“Edison—”
I stood to leave. “This is all me. You’re perfect. I’m just stuck on stupid.”
“You don’t have to leave.”
“I’ve overstayed my welcome. Thank you for the company.”
Willa walked me to the door. The expression on her face was one of shock. Not going to lie, I was surprised too. I didn’t come here intending to end things with her. Despite my best efforts, the person I was trying to forget had a way of worming her way into my brain. Obviously, I didn’t break up with Willa because Fancy was back in town. That would be stupid seeing how I didn’t know if she’d be here for a month or a week. And knowing my luck, I probably wouldn’t see her before she left.
Willa and I had run our course. I’d been avoiding her for a reason, but Willa hadn’t read the writing on the wall. Maybe because I was practically writing that shit in invisible ink. It was for the best. Neither of us was getting what we needed from the other. She wanted a commitment, and I wanted her to be someone else.