YAYA
T h e e l e v a t o r d o o r s slid shut with a soft chime, sealing me inside a box of shiny chrome and fluorescent lighting. I clutched my portfolio to my chest with my heart pounding louder than the quiet hum of the cables. The numbers ticked upward slowly and I stared at my reflection in the mirrored walls, trying to breathe through the emotion still caught in my throat.
I’d just gotten off the phone with Ezra and it felt like we’d said goodbye for real this time.
I blinked hard, willing the tears not to come. Not now. Not here. This interview was everything I’d worked for, everything my parents had pushed me toward for years. I couldn’t afford to fall apart when I was this close to the finish line.
Surprisingly, I'd made it through NCLEX without dropping a tear on the exam keyboard. But the echo of his voice, the weight of what we’d just said hung over me like a thick, invisible cloud. It didn’t feel like freedom. It felt like a loss.
The doors opened onto the 19th floor, and I stepped out into a sleek, modern waiting area. Everything was white and glass with soft lighting. A receptionist smiled at me politely as I approached.
“Hi, I’m Yavanni Sinclair.”
“Welcome,” she said smoothly, checking me in on her tablet. “Have a seat. Director Halloway will be with you shortly.”
I nodded and sat down, smoothing my skirt and silently reciting calming affirmations in my head. You are prepared. You are capable. You are worthy of this opportunity. But even as I tried to ground myself, my brain kept drifting back to Ezra. His voice. His pain. My own.
Before I could spiral again, a tall Black woman with short, silver curls and bright, intelligent eyes stepped out of the glass double doors.
“Miss Sinclair?”
I stood quickly, nerves sparking. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Come on in.”
Her office was minimalist and bright, with a full view of the city skyline behind her desk. She gestured for me to sit, then took her own seat with a warm but commanding energy.
“I’m Dr. Halloway. I’ve read your file thoroughly, and your recommendations were impressive. Let’s talk, shall we?”
And we did. I answered every question clearly, calmly as we discussed my clinical rotations, pediatric case studies and philosophies on family-centered care. I spoke about the emotional toll of working in trauma, how I’d developed resilience and empathy and how I saw medicine not just as treatment but as trust.
Dr. Halloway asked sharp questions but nodded often. She took notes. She smiled when I talked about a patient I’d bonded with who used to call me “Sunshine Nurse.”
After forty minutes, she closed the folder and leaned back in her chair, steepling her fingers. “Miss Sinclair… I think you’d be a wonderful fit here. You’re thoughtful, composed, and passionate. That’s the kind of energy we need in our pediatric unit.”
My breath caught. “Thank you. I... wow.”
“When you receive your exam results in the mail, I’ll have HR send your offer package by the end of that day. We’d love to have you.”
I stood slowly, trying to keep my composure, though my chest was swelling with a mixture of pride and bittersweet disbelief. “Thank you so much, Dr. Halloway.”
“You earned it. I look forward to seeing you on the floor.”
I stepped out of that office with my heels clicking confidently against the tile, my head held high. It should’ve felt like the best day of my life. And part of it did. But another part of me felt hollow.
I met my parents for lunch at a trendy bistro in. They were already seated at a corner table when I arrived. My father in a crisp gray blazer and my mother in a cream blouse and pearls, both beaming as I walked up.
“There she is!” my mother said, standing to kiss my cheek. “Look at our girl.”
“You look focused,” my father said approvingly as I sat. “How’d it go?”
“It went… really well,” I said, forcing a smile. “They offered me the job so long as I passed my exam.”
My mother clasped her hands together with a soft gasp. “Oh, honey, that’s wonderful.”
My father nodded firmly. “As expected. Hollis Medical knows talent when they see it.”
The waiter arrived and we ordered. The table was light and buzzing for a while with my parents peppering me with questions about benefits and the whole nine. But then my father leaned in slightly, voice low.
“And Ezra?” he asked carefully. “What’s the situation there now?”
I hesitated, pushing a piece of bread around my plate. “It’s… over.”
A beat of silence passed. “Good,” he said simply.
My mother reached for her wine. “That boy had too many rough edges and the way you guys left the garden party I knew it wouldn’t last. Very telling.”
My jaw clenched.
“Yavanni,” my father continued, “You are brilliant. You’re stepping into a career that’ll open every door. You don’t need someone who drags their feet in the mud while you’re trying to fly.”
“Ezra didn’t drag anything,” I snapped before I could stop myself. “He lifted me and made me see myself. He believed in me when I didn’t. But of course, you wouldn’t know that. You only ever saw what you didn’t like.”
My mother stiffened slightly. “Sweetheart, we’re just being honest.”
“No,” I said, eyes burning, voice sharper now. “You’re being elitist. Judgmental. And you don’t get to be relieved when I lose someone I loved just because he didn’t fit your checklist.”
My father sighed, frustration creeping into his voice. “This isn’t about checklists. It’s about standards. You deserve someone who matches your ambition, your world.”
“And what if my world isn’t as narrow as yours?” I shot back.
Silence fell between us, thick and tense. My mother glanced away, pretending to be fascinated by the dessert tray. Finally, my father exhaled slowly. “You’re emotional right now. That’s understandable. But eventually, you’ll see this was the right move. You’ve got a career ahead of you. A reputation to build. You can’t afford distractions.”
My hands shook as I reached for my water glass. He meant it with love, I knew that but it was like Ezra never mattered. Like love wasn’t worthy unless it came with a résumé and a Rolex.
The rest of lunch passed in a fog of quiet tension. We hugged goodbye outside the restaurant and my mother held me a beat longer than usual as my father’s embrace was more reserved.
As I slid into my car, I stared through the windshield at the passing cars, the people walking by, the city moving around me. I had the job. The title. The praise but all I felt was the echo of Ezra’s voice in my head.
You woke me up.
And now, I didn’t know how to go back to sleep.
Later that night, I lay on my side in the dark, sheets cool against my skin and the city humming softly outside my window. I hadn’t turned on the TV or bothered with a book or music. I just needed quiet. But even with all the silence, my thoughts were loud.
The glow of my bedside lamp spilled soft gold across the room, highlighting the curve of my thigh and the faint shine of shea butter on my skin. I stared at the ceiling, blank and still, as if waiting for it to give me answers.
I should’ve been happy. Hollis Medical. A career offer that would’ve made any nursing student cry tears of joy. My parents were proud and my future was secured. And yet… my chest ached. Not the sharp kind of heartbreak, but the deep, dull kind. The kind that sits behind your ribs and makes everything feel heavy.
I rolled onto my back and exhaled slowly, fingers laced over my stomach. I could still feel Ezra’s hands and still hear his voice when he whispered he loved me. I still remembered how we broke each other down and built something real in the middle of all our mess. Now, he was in New York and I was here.
It didn’t feel real. It didn’t feel fair. But maybe that’s what love did. It showed you all the possibilities and then left you with the weight of the choices you made.
My phone buzzed on the nightstand and I turned my head, brow furrowed as I reached for it. Jaylen was calling so I hesitated. My heart dipped slightly but not in the Ezra way. Not in that visceral, soul-deep pull. But it still dipped.
I answered, voice low. “Hello?”
“Yavanni,” Jaylen’s voice came through smooth, warm. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
I smiled faintly despite myself. “You mean midnight?”
“Guilty,” he chuckled. “But you always did answer my late-night calls back in the day.”
I sighed softly. “What’s up, Jay?”
“Just wanted to check in. You crossed my mind. Been thinking about your interview. I killed mine. I start next week.”
“Congrats. Yeah, mine went well,” I said simply. “They offered me the job.”
“I knew it,” he said proudly. “Knew they’d be crazy not to. Look at you, Nurse Sinclair.”
I laughed for the first time that day, a real laugh, short but warm. “Thank you.”
“I mean it. You’ve always had that light about you. Even in high school when I was trying to act all smooth, you had me low-key nervous. Still kinda do.”
I rolled onto my side, smiling into the pillow. “Jay…”
“Nah, I’m serious,” he said. “You good, though? You don’t sound like you celebrated.”
I paused, picking at a loose thread in the sheets. “It’s been a long day.”
He didn’t push. Just let the pause stretch before gently changing the subject. “Well, we’re both gonna be working at the same spot. We should grab lunch one day. Celebrate the come-up.”
I smiled again. “I’d like that.”
“Good,” he said, voice dropping slightly. “And for what it’s worth… I know life’s crazy right now. But I’m glad I ran into you, Yavanni. Feels like the universe is lining things up.”
That tug in my chest returned. Softer than Ezra. But still real. “I don’t know what the universe is doing,” I said honestly. “But I’m just trying to keep my head on straight.”
Jaylen chuckled. “One day at a time, right?”
“Exactly.”
We talked for a few more minutes. The conversation was way and light. He didn’t ask too much or dig too deep. Just let me talk about anything but heartbreak. And when we hung up, I lay there in the dim light, phone pressed to my chest.
I still felt the ache of Ezra but there was a tiny crack in the heaviness. A little space where the light slipped in. I didn’t know what was next but I knew I wasn’t completely broken. Not yet.