Chapter Eight Charlie
Chapter Eight
Charlie
“I think we should all take a shot,” Julia said to Benji when he stopped by our table to grab our order. The woman’s enthusiasm was giving me a headache, and we’d only been here for fifteen minutes.
She’d texted me half a dozen times today because Jeanne had taken it upon herself to give Julia my phone number, even though this was supposed to be a casual get-together with friends.
She’d asked what I was going to wear tonight, which was weird as fuck to ask a dude.
She’d asked if my babysitter could spend the night, which was not happening, and I’d made that clear.
She’d asked if I thought we should try to bail on Jeanne and Tim, so we could be alone.
Also, a hard no.
The last few texts were ridiculous. She’d inquired about food allergies, if I had any sexual kinks, and if I was open to threesomes.
To say that I didn’t want to be here would be a massive understatement.
“I’m totally down for shots,” Jeanne said, and Tim gave me an apologetic look, as he didn’t seem thrilled about being here either. Benji had a wicked grin on his face because he was enjoying the fact that I was miserable.
“I’m going to stick to a beer,” I said, and Tim asked for the same.
“Great. Well, you two can do your thing, but me and Julia are going to have a good time,” Jeanne said with a big smile on her face.
“Yes. Our men can take care of us tonight,” Julia said, leaning against me in the booth.
What the hell was going on? We barely knew one another. I hadn’t agreed to anything more than four friends having dinner.
Thankfully, Benji soon returned, and the two women downed the shots in a matter of seconds. We placed our dinner orders, and Julia requested another round of shots for her and Jeanne, as well as some Long Island iced teas.
Tim looked a little panicked, since Jeanne wasn’t a big drinker.
Benji and I traded a look, and I knew I’d be getting a text from him later tonight about the madness that was this moment.
I took a long pull from my beer as Jeanne told us all about her PTA meeting today and the fundraiser they had planned next month.
“I was hoping you’d help me again with building the set for the spring performance this year,” Jeanne asked as Benji set down two new shots of tequila for the ladies as well as their Long Island iced teas.
“Let’s drink to Charlie building a sexy prop for the kids!” Julia reached for her shot glass and clinked it with Jeanne’s, and they both tipped their heads back.
“Not quite sure a sexy prop for a kid performance is the goal.” Tim reached for his beer bottle and took a sip.
“Well, I just think being a single dad is sexy. And I think you’re sexy,” Julia said to me. “And do you know what else I think is sexy?”
I didn’t respond. I just stared at her, because this wasn’t a conversation that I felt like having. Julia was sucking down her Long Island iced tea like she was preparing for an episode of Girls Gone Wild, and Jeanne was leaning against Tim as if she was already two sheets to the wind.
“Well, I’ll tell you,” Julia said, keeping her voice low. Benji was back and setting our dinner plates in front of us. “A limp dick is never a bad thing, Charlie. There are work-arounds.”
What the actual fuck?
“Thanks for the fun fact,” I said, turning my attention to the burger in front of me.
Benji chuckled as he walked off, and my phone vibrated shortly after with a text from him that was simply an eggplant emoji. I guess she was speaking louder than I thought she was.
I responded with a head-exploding emoji.
“Try to take a few bites of your chicken sandwich, baby,” Tim said, pulling the plate closer to his wife.
“Okay. My man is taking care of me, I guess.” Jeanne’s eyes were already showing signs of intoxication, and her words were slurring. But she reached for her cocktail and sucked half the glass down through her straw.
I had a feeling this date would be ending much sooner than anticipated, and I was fine with that, but I felt bad that Jeanne was going to be sick as hell tomorrow.
Julia held her glass up and whistled to get Benji’s attention. She held her glass up and two fingers, and he nodded.
“I don’t think Jeanne needs any more to drink,” Tim said, and I could hear the irritation in his voice.
“She never goes out. Let her have some fun,” Julia said, turning her attention back to me. “Speaking of never going out. Why don’t I see you out much?”
“Because I work and have a child to raise. I go out plenty, but I’m not downing shots anymore. I’ll have a beer or two with the guys, and that suits me just fine,” I said before reaching for my burger and taking another bite.
“But I bet you like your woman tipsy and relaxed, huh?”
“Actually, not really.” I shrugged. “It’s tough to have a conversation with someone who’s tipping back the shots, you know?”
Julia was young, and it showed tonight.
Her hand found my thigh beneath the table, and she leaned close to me. “Conversation is overrated, Charlie.”
“I don’t feel so well,” Jeanne said from the other side of the booth, just as Benji set down two more drinks before telling us he’d get us some refills on our waters. Tim helped his wife out of the booth, and they walked toward the bathroom.
“Good. I thought they’d never leave,” Julia said, sucking down more than half the liquid in her tall glass with one sip.
“Well, at the rate you’re pumping booze into her, I think they’ll probably be heading home soon. And I’m happy to get you home, but I plan on heading out when they do, so if you’d like me to walk you home, I’ll be leaving early.”
“Charlie, you don’t have to worry. It’s not an issue for me.
I think you’re sexy as hell. We can work around the other things, you know?
I’m a creative girl.” She smiled, and then her tongue slowly slid across her bottom lip as if she was trying to draw me in.
But at this point, I was already one foot out the door and eager to get the hell out of here.
I wasn’t going to let her drive home or walk home alone when she was this intoxicated, so I’d walk her there before heading to my place. I wasn’t a complete asshole.
“Julia, I don’t have a fucking clue what you’re talking about. But I’m actually okay with that, because I’d rather not know. How about we just finish our burgers, and I walk you home and we call this done.”
“Charlie,” she said before her hand moved between my legs, and she gripped my cock over the denim of my pants. “I’m talking about your little problem.”
I wrapped my hand around her wrist and tugged it away. “What the fuck are you doing? Read the room. This is not happening. And that is not the way to make it happen, I can promise you that.”
She wasn’t even remotely deterred by me tugging her hand away. “I know about the medication, Charlie, and clearly it’s working from what I just felt there.”
I sighed and closed my eyes for a second, hoping I could will her to stop talking.
No such luck.
“I can help you with your situation. You won’t even need the medication,” she said, her words slurring.
Okay. This wasn’t going to go away, so I just sat there waiting to hear whatever the hell she was going to say, and I made no attempt to stop her this time.
“You won’t be my first limp dick that I’ve dealt with. I can get you there. I could climb right under this booth right now and get you there, Charlie. I’ve got one magical mouth.”
I coughed, choking on the long pull of beer I’d just taken.
I hadn’t been laid in a while. This woman had just grabbed my junk right under the table and was basically talking about having me fuck her mouth right here.
And yet, I wanted to get out of here.
I was clearly not attracted to her at all.
“Do not climb under this table,” I said when she started to move. “Julia, I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but I don’t take medication. My dick is just fine. But I am not looking for a relationship, and I think we’re best off as friends. I appreciate the offer, though.”
“She said you’d say that. I know it’s embarrassing,” Julia said. “But you aren’t going to push me away. Hell, I don’t even care about your doll collection. I think it’s cute.”
“Who were you talking to? Jeanne?” I asked with a glance over toward the bathroom. Still no sign of Jeanne or Tim, which meant things must not have been going well.
“Okay, you can’t say I told you, because I promised her that I wouldn’t say a word.
But Monique does Violet’s hair, and her booth is next to mine.
Violet was in the salon today, and I know she lives in your guesthouse and you two are friends.
And she wasn’t betraying your trust—I promise she wasn’t.
She was just trying to help a girl out.” She smiled up at me.
Sure she was.
“What exactly did she say?”
“She told me that the guys all give you a hard time about your situation.” She kept her voice low once again, as this was apparently a sensitive subject.
“She said they have all sorts of names for you—Limp Biscuit, Limplestiltskin, Sir Limps a Lot—and we both agreed it’s cruel.
And that’s when she told me about the doll collection you keep in your bedroom.
Listen, saving all your great-grandmother’s old-fashioned dolls on shelves in your bedroom is not anything to feel bad about.
And I don’t even care that you brush their hair every single Sunday to keep them looking nice.
I’m a hairdresser, Charlie. I admire your commitment.
” She reached for Jeanne’s untouched cocktail, and my eyes widened because this woman could hold her liquor.
Un-fucking-believable.
Tim walked toward the booth, and he did not look pleased.
“Hey, guys, we need to get going. Jeanne is pretty sick. I’m sorry to bail early, but I need to take her home.” He reached for his wallet, and I waved him off.
“I’ve got it. Just get her home. We’re going to leave as well.”
Julia made a little whiny sound and then pushed her bottom lip out to me, and I stood and made my way over to Benji.