Chapter Nineteen Violet
Chapter Nineteen
Violet
I collapsed on top of Charlie as his arms wrapped around me and his breathing finally slowed.
“My God, woman. That was fucking incredible,” he finally said.
I looked at him. “Agreed. If we only do that once, it will still be worth it.”
“I thought we were taking it one day at a time,” he chuckled. “You’re already calling it done?”
“I’m calling it spectacular. Everyone should experience that once in their life.” I bit down on my bottom lip to keep from saying more.
It was exhilarating and terrifying all at the same time.
To feel so connected to someone.
It was something I normally avoided, and God knows I’d tried to avoid this man.
But we were like two magnets, the force so strong, it was impossible to ignore.
Maybe this would be a one and done. Maybe we just needed to get it out of our systems.
But I already wanted to do it again.
He slowly shifted me off him, then set me on the couch before he moved to his feet. He was a big man. Large in every way.
He strode the short distance to the bathroom, and I assumed he was disposing of the condom. I reached for the throw blanket on the couch, suddenly self-conscious about being naked and vulnerable.
I tried to shake off the memory of crying to him just an hour ago.
I’d broken every rule I’d ever had with Charlie.
I’d cried. I’d told him I liked him. And then I’d had earth-shattering sex with the man.
I wrapped myself up in the blanket, waiting for him to come out of the bathroom and realize we’d made a huge mistake before he bailed and went home.
He strode toward me with an unreadable grin on his face.
He stopped in front of me, leaned down, and picked up his jeans.
Here we go.
He was going to explain all the reasons we should call this done.
But instead, he pulled his wallet out and took out two more condoms as he waggled his brows. He leaned down and scooped me up in his arms, and I startled.
“What are you doing?” I squealed as he cradled me like a baby and carried me to the bedroom.
He pulled back the covers and set me down on the bed before sliding in next to me. He shifted me on his chest and then pulled the covers over both of us.
“We’re cuddling,” he said, his voice lacking all emotion.
I laughed. “You sound thrilled about it.”
“Listen. This isn’t the norm for either of us, but we just said we’re going to try. You attempting to act like it’s already over, that’s not trying. So lie here on my chest and tell me about your call with your mom, and then once we’ve recovered, we’re going to do that again and again.”
I looked at him and pushed myself up. “You want to talk while we cuddle before we have sex again?”
“Yes. And so do you. So stop being a stubborn ass and start talking.”
I lay back down and breathed in his manly scent of mint and pine.
“I told you my mom is an alcoholic, and my dad is a narcissist. Great combo in the parenting department,” I chuckled.
He didn’t laugh. “That had to suck. You know, sometimes I think having no parents is better than having shitty parents. At least I didn’t have hope of someone showing up, you know? You probably held out for more because they were there.”
I’d never thought about that.
“That’s very true. But it still had to be hard on you, moving around and not knowing what each day would bring?” I whispered.
“Nah. I learned at an early age to rely on myself. I don’t have expectations with people. But having Harper changed me in a way. It made me want to be a better man. And being a good father is the most important job I’ll ever have.”
“You’re such a good dad, Charlie. Watching you with Harper restored my faith in the father-daughter relationship,” I said as he stroked my hair in the most soothing way. “I thought it was all a fairy tale, but you two are the real deal.”
“Were there good times with your mother, or was she always abusive?”
“There were good times. That’s what makes it hard.
She tried. She had her heart broken, and she never bounced back from that.
It made me aware at a very young age that trusting others with your heart was a really bad idea.
” I sighed. “But she coped by numbing herself with alcohol, which is never a good thing. So her addiction has led to a lot of toxic behavior. But she has her moments of goodness too.”
“I’m sorry, Firefly. That wasn’t fair to you. You deserve better.”
I smiled at his words and raised my head again to look at him. “I’m very good to myself.”
“As you should be.”
“I’m cautious about who I trust,” I said, my words hesitant.
“You don’t say?” he chuckled, making no attempt to hide his sarcasm.
“I’m not that bad.”
“Nah. You’re cautious. And you’re scrappy,” he said.
“I’m not scrappy.” I smacked his chest, and he tightened his hold on me.
“It’s not a bad thing. You protect yourself. You don’t let people in, because you don’t want to be disappointed. I get that more than you know.”
“What was it like being in the foster system?” I asked, rolling onto my stomach and propping up on my elbows so I could look at him. So I could look him in the eye and show him that he could trust me.
He cleared his throat. “It’s not all bad, but it sure as hell wasn’t all good. I was in some shitty homes. I saw things that kids should never have to see.”
“Like what?” I whispered.
“Abuse. Physical and emotional. Not to me. No one ever laid a hand on me. But I kept to myself. I saw drug abuse at a young age, and I knew I’d stay far from that.
But if you weren’t someone who knew what you wanted out of life, you could have been drawn into it.
You know, there was no guidance. No support emotionally. ”
My chest ached at his words, and I ran my hands through his hair. “And you knew at a young age what you wanted out of life?”
“I did.”
“What did you want?”
“Freedom.” He sighed. “Not to be dependent on anyone else. Not to ever be in a situation where I had to live under someone else’s roof and follow their rules.
I wanted to follow my own. Live in a home that felt safe, where there was food on the table and running water.
A home that was clean and taken care of.
A business that I controlled and worked at.
Those were things I knew I wanted even as a kid. ”
“And you got them,” I said.
“I almost fucked up with Caroline. I got her pregnant, even though we’d been safe.
I’d never had unprotected sex, and she shows up at my door pregnant several months after our summer fling.
She could have fought me for Harper, taken the one thing I care most about away from me.
Luckily for me, she didn’t want to be a mother, and I got to keep my baby girl.
But that could have gone differently, as I was reminded today. ”
I sucked in a breath. I’d overheard some of their conversation. “Are you worried she’ll be back?”
“I’m not. She’s too selfish. Her fiancé doesn’t want a kid from another dude.
Her parents wanted her to give Harper up for adoption.
But I let things go too far. I’m going to get an attorney and force the issue because I can’t let her come in and out of Harper’s life whenever the hell she feels like it.
Not after what happened today. I’m going to need to have her put it in writing. ”
“Put what in writing?” I asked.
“That she doesn’t want to be a mother. She’s never contributed financially. She’s never contributed emotionally. She doesn’t get to call the shots,” he said, his voice hard.
“Yeah. She’s a real piece of work.” I shook my head with disbelief. “I would have liked to give her a piece of my mind.”
“I could tell. I appreciate the way you stepped up for Harper and stayed with her while I dealt with the mess that Caroline caused today.”
“Unfortunately, it was familiar to me. The way she just showed up when it was a good time for her to do so and then wanted to put on a show. My father was very much that kind of parent.”
“Yeah, it’s a shame that you need a license to drive a car and to order a drink in a bar, but any selfish asshole can be a parent.” He shook his head. “I should have put my foot down a long time ago.”
“Well, you’re doing it now, and that’s all that matters. It sounds like this is the first time that Harper didn’t want to be around her. So you’re following her lead and fixing the situation. In the wedding business, we’d give you a hashtag for this type of behavior,” I said with a laugh.
“A hashtag? What the hell does that mean?”
“You know, we do the hashtags for weddings. Like, hashtag ‘here come the Cooneys.’”
He laughed and said, “‘Here come the Cooneys’? I don’t get it.”
“Like ‘here comes the bride.’” Now we were both laughing. “A hashtag can tell you a lot about a couple. Like Montana has always said that her hashtag would be hashtag ‘you, me, and forever.’”
“Hmm . . . sounds very odd, but I get it. So what’s my hashtag?” he asked.
“Yours would be hashtag ‘hot daddy.’”
His body shook with laughter.
“And what about you, Violet Beaumont. You told me Montana’s hashtag. You said it tells a lot about a person or a couple. What would your hashtag be if you ever walked down the aisle? Hashtag ‘I’m going to wear the pants in this relationship’?”
“That’s not bad, actually.” I tipped my chin up and smiled at him. “But I don’t think I’m the marrying type. The only way I’d ever have a wedding hashtag is if I felt confident enough to use the only one that I’d ever consider.”
“Tell me,” he said, surprising me that he wanted to hear it.
We’d just had sex for the first time. We didn’t know where this was going, or if it would last longer than tonight. But he was pressing me for my wedding hashtag?
Clearly, Charlie Huxley and I have the strangest relationship.
“It’s actually pretty simple, which is a shocker because I’m kind of a complicated gal.” I chuckled. “But if in some alternate universe I wanted to get married, I’d insist on the hashtag ‘love you, mean it.’ It would have to be real. Because I’ve had a lifetime of not real.”
“It seems simple enough. But I’m sort of baffled by your lack of interest in getting married,” he said, his thumb moving along my collarbone. “You’re a wedding planner, for God’s sake. It’s your holy grail, right?”
“Hey, consider yourself lucky. At least you know I’m not trying to lock you down.
” I smirked. “I believe in happily ever after for those who want it. But I don’t think it’s for everyone, and it’s definitely not for me.
But Montana was hell bent on me doing this business with her, so from a business perspective, I like it. Doesn’t mean I have to do it.”
“That would be like me being a contractor who refuses to fix what’s broken in my house,” he said over his laughter.
“Hey, I am who I am. I don’t want the fairy tale.”
“But you have a hashtag,” he said, arching a brow when I looked up at him.
“I have a hashtag because my partner insisted that we pick one. Montana is a real stickler when it comes to the wedding planner rule book.”
“So I’m guessing you don’t plan on having kids?” he asked, as if he was trying to figure me out.
“I don’t particularly care for most kids. But I adore Harper. She’s not a normal kid, though. So sure, if I could have a couple Harpers, I’d be fine with it. But what if you get one of those hellions like Denise Quigley?”
He roared in laughter, and my head bounced on his chest. “She’s a real piece of work. But I blame her mother. She’s been taught that behavior.”
I pretended to shiver dramatically. “She’s a lot. I wanted to call her out so bad for what she said to Harper a while back. I tend to hold a grudge.”
“I get it. When you love someone and you see them hurt, it doesn’t go away. That’s what I felt today with Caroline. She hurt Harps, and I won’t stand by and allow her to do it again.”
“Hashtag ‘here comes Papa Bear,’” I said as he flipped me on my back and tickled me.
“Hashtag ‘do you want to have sex again, Firefly?’”
“Oh, that’s clever, Charles. Hashtag ‘one more orgasm before we call this done.’”
He rolled his eyes. “Hashtag ‘one day at a time, you smart-ass.’”
“Fine. Have your way with me, because tomorrow we might hate each other again.”
“I never said I stopped hating you.” His voice was all tease as he nipped at my bottom lip.
“Hashtag ‘samesies, Charles!’” I said over my laughter.
And then he kissed me.
He really kissed me.
And I forgot that I was supposed to be careful.
Because at the moment, it was far too easy to get lost in this man.
So I’d allow myself tonight, and then I’d get my shit together tomorrow.
But tonight . . . I was going to enjoy every minute.
Because the good stuff in life never lasted long.