Chapter 19
Nineteen
JAXON
Igroan as her tongue traces the valley between my lips, then I lean in and kiss her back. I cup the back of her head in my hand. All that weakness, that fear, that aching terror that told me sharing this would be impossible is simply gone. There’s just Hope kissing me, then whispering.
“You’re supposed to be lying down. I think… I think I’m more comfortable than the bed.” Her face burns.
“Are you sure?” I breathe. “We can wait. I don’t need a reward for sharing.”
“It’s not a reward, Jax. I want to be with you. I’m tired of resisting how much I want you, how much I like you,” she pants against my mouth, guiding my hand to her breast and encouraging me to squeeze. “Don’t stop talking to me.”
I lay her back and tug her shirt up her body so I can feel her perfect tit fill my palm.
I groan against her lips and nod while rolling my hips.
I don’t give a shit about my back. Hope is all that matters.
Tasting her, touching her, feeling her and finally being seen after feeling hidden for so long is more important.
I want to go slow, but there’s this need in me, something reckless and greedy that’s always been there, and now that Hope is sprawled beneath me, breathing my name, I just…
I can’t hold it back. She’s so soft under my hands, her pulse thrumming against my own, and the way she arches to meet me, like she can’t get close enough—it makes me dizzy.
Her breath hitches as I pull her bra down slightly and bring my mouth to her nipple.
Her whole body arches and she gasps, her nails biting into my shoulders.
I flick my tongue over her, then pull back to watch her for just a second.
She catches my stare, lips parted, eyes wide.
There’s no fear. There’s nothing but want.
I wonder if she knows how much that matters to me, how fucking good it feels to see her wanting this.
I move my hand to her waist, tracing under the band of her leggings, then stopping. “Hope,” I growl, “you tell me to stop and I stop. Are you sure?”
She tugs my face back to hers and kisses me, slow and messy and uncontrolled. “I want you, Jax. I just…” She bites her lip, and I almost lose it. “You lead, okay? Just… don’t stop talking to me.”
I nip her jaw. “I’ll talk all night if you want.” I slip my hand past her waistband, palm her over her panties, and the heat of her makes me groan. “You’re so wet.” I smirk, stroking her gently.
Her hips twitch against my touch, her breath catching every time I circle her clit through her underwear.
I want to fuck her so badly, but I remember her trembling, how fast things can spiral for her.
I want her to know I won’t ever lose control and wreck us.
I’ll stay right here, teasing and talking and making her feel good until she’s desperate for more.
“Jax,” she whimpers when I dip a finger underneath her panties to find her slick and ready. “Please… more…”
She’s so far gone, she’s clinging to me and I can feel her heart pounding. I slide my finger into her and watch her face melt with relief. Her moans get louder and I decide to see how much she can take. I add a second and she clenches around me, head thrown back.
“Look at you,” I whisper, “taking me so well. Such a good girl.”
She makes a strangled noise. “Jax—”
“You want more?” I press my palm to her clit, grinding the heel of my hand against her gently and pumping my fingers slow and deep, watching her moan and fall apart for me.
“Yeah, you do. You greedy little thing. What if I kept you here all day, just like this?” I curl my fingers just right and feel her body twitch beneath me.
I breathe her name against her throat and keep my rhythm steady.
Her sweet moans are getting louder, and her back arches off the bed. “Don’t stop, don’t stop,” she chants, clutching my arm.
“Never,” I promise as her pussy squeezes around my pumping fingers. I slow down, just to see if she’ll beg. “You sound so pretty, Hope. I could listen to you all night.”
She barely hesitates. “Jax, please… I want it, let me…”
God, she's incredible. I speed up and feel her come, hips jerking, my name echoing. I watch her face through all of it, how her lips part, how her eyes roll back. It’s fucking perfect.
She collapses back, limp and twitching, her chest heaving. She doesn’t say anything for a minute, just blushes and covers her face with her arm.
I tuck her hair out of her face and kiss her jaw, then her cheek. I want to have her again, make her come a second time, but I can barely think. I’m so hard it hurts.
“Your turn,” she whispers, and I swear I’ve never wanted anything more.
I roll back on the bed and try to undo my pants, but my hands are shaking so badly from my restraint I can barely get my fly open. She laughs and reaches to help, sliding my pants down, then pulling my cock out, and I almost come just from the sight of her fingers wrapped around me.
“You’re so big,” she whispers and a slight smile forms as she notices the piercings.
“Like those too?” I tease and she nods as she bites her bottom lip.
She starts slow and careful as she kisses the head. Then she licks down the shaft, her tongue so goddamn gentle, exploring every inch.
I grip the sheets, letting out a sound that’s halfway between a groan and a prayer. “You’re going to kill me,” I manage, but I don’t try to stop her.
She takes me into her mouth, not all the way, but enough to drive me insane. When her lips glide down farther, I lose it completely; my body shudders, toes curl. My fingers flex since I want to grab her hair and shove her down fully so bad, but I know I can’t. I need to let her set the pace.
She looks up at me, her eyes so fucking blue and alive, it almost hurts.
She holds my stare, mouth full of me, cheeks hollowed.
The pressure is unreal. Her hand wraps around the base and she bobs, steady, her tongue working the underside with every upstroke.
I clench the sheets, desperate not to fuck up the moment by thrusting into her face.
She keeps at it, unwavering, eyes glued to mine.
Each time she slides down, I can feel her throat tense around the head.
Holy fuck. I’m not going to last. I want to warn her, but my jaw won’t work and my brain is short-circuiting. All I can do is clutch the sheets and try not to lose my goddamn mind.
I can’t breathe.
“Hope, fuck, I…” I warn, voice already shredded.
She pulls off with a gasp, her face flushed, and draws a shaky breath before licking up the side of my cock, slow and deliberate.
When she looks up at me, our eyes lock, and I see it—the pride, the need, the craving for approval.
I want to tell her she’s amazing, that I’ve never felt anything like this, but mostly I just want to come all over her tongue.
“I don’t want you to come in my mouth, Jax,” she whispers.
A smile curves my lips as I see the glint of desire in her eyes shine brighter.
She’s not done. She’s got something else in mind; I can see it in the way she licks her lips, the way her gaze flicks from my cock to my eyes, calculating and hungry.
She moves back, pushes down her leggings, and I’m lost for words.
She straddles my hips, careful and trembling a little. I can feel how wet she is through her panties as she grinds down. I grab her waist, steadying her, and she kisses me, deep and soft and a little uncertain.
“I want to feel you inside me when you come,” she whispers, barely audible.
It takes me a second to process it. My brain is fried, my body strung tight, and I want that more than anything.
“My cum belongs inside you, sweetheart,” I groan.
Her hand slides down, guiding the head of my cock to her entrance. She’s still wearing her panties, but she nudges them aside, not even bothering to take them off. I’m so hard and desperate for her I can barely keep still.
She sinks onto me, slow at first, and we both exhale at the same time.
She’s so tight, so goddamn soft and hot around me, that I have to dig my nails into her hips so I don’t blow it right that second.
She moves, rolling her hips, and I feel her get bolder with each stroke, each ragged inhale.
The way she rides me is messy and perfect.
Her nails dig into my chest and the way she tightens around me with every roll of her hips… Fuck… I’m seconds from exploding.
My hand glides down, and I thumb her clit, gentle circles.
“Come with me, sweetheart,” I groan and she picks up the pace, grinding on me and I meet her with my thrusts.
“Jax,” she moans and I can feel she’s right on the edge.
“Be a good girl and come for me,” I say and I can see the exact moment she lets go.
She tightens around me and her whole body goes rigid, her nails digging into my chest as she throws her head back and cries out.
Her thighs tremble against my hips, her pussy clenching me so hard that I lose even the tiniest scrap of self-control.
I snap and come inside her, thrusting up and holding her in place while I empty everything I have.
I’m shaking, groaning, barely able to breathe, and she’s right there with me.
She collapses on top of me, breathless. My heart’s still hammering, but I don’t care, not about my back, not about the ache in my head, not about anything except her.
I wrap my arms around her and hold her so tightly I think I might bruise her, but she just burrows deeper, clinging to me like she’ll fall apart if she lets go.
“Are you okay?” I manage to rasp, running my fingers down her spine, feeling every little shudder that’s left.
She laughs, a little delirious, and nods, not even trying to move. “Yeah. Maybe perfect.”
I nuzzle her hair, still not believing she’s here, wanting me. “You were—are perfect.” I want to say more, but I’m so fucking spent I can only breathe her in and hope she gets what I mean.
She stays there, heartbeat slowly matching mine, and I feel the tension bleed out of her with each exhale.
Every time I think she’s asleep, she shifts, kisses my collarbone, or squeezes my bicep.
I could lay here forever. I don’t even care when I start to go soft inside her, or that we’re a sticky, half-naked mess.
I wish I could freeze time, live in the seconds after for a year.
I don’t know how long we’re like that, but I realize at some point she’s snoring softly on my chest. I stroke her hair and whisper, “You’re safe, Hope. Always,” and try to believe it myself.
I wake up hours later to the sound of voices in the living room, and a headache from hell. Hope’s still draped across me, and I want to laugh but my skull might actually split open if I do. I force myself to get up, careful not to wake her, and throw on a pair of shorts.
I’m about to leave our bedroom when her phone buzzes. I turn and look around, and as it buzzes again, I notice it lying by her leggings.
Without a thought, I pick it up and my brows furrow as I see an unknown number sending her an image.
“Why should I look?” I mutter to myself and almost toss her phone on the bed. “This isn’t any worse than stealing her file,” I add and unlock her phone easily. The code 1234 isn’t made to keep people out.
My heart sinks. My ears ring as I stare at the photo on her phone and read the text.
“Only a matter of time,” I read aloud.