Chapter 13
Chapter Thirteen
NOAH
The referral came quicker than expected, and yet again, I found myself lying to Caleb and Jessica; it was a half lie.
It did fall around a two-day conference, so it was the perfect cover story.
Which, in a roundabout way, was probably a good thing because I didn’t know what to expect and worried they’d notice if I had been home.
I find myself covering up more and more around them lately, pulling back even more physically. Which is no easy feat when all I want to do is pull them both close and never let them go.
The guilt eats me up inside. I don’t know what’s the right or wrong thing to do any more and yet here I am digging myself an even deeper hole.
If I were being kept in the dark by either Caleb or Jessica, I know more than anything I’d be hurt.
The idea of unintentionally hurting them makes me feel physically sick, the weight of it becoming too much.
The doctor gave me a local anaesthetic and performed a core needle biopsy along with an ultrasound to remove a small tissue sample to be sent for analysis. It was quick, and I only experienced a few seconds of discomfort, but now it’s a waiting game—a result that has the power to be life-changing.
The house is quiet when I return home, as I’d expected. I know Caleb is picking Jessica up from work, as she’s on a late shift tonight, which isn’t unusual. We insist that between the two of us, one of us picks her up, and while she chooses her battles, she knows that’s one she’ll likely never win.
Aspen barks as I turn off the alarm and drop my bag by the door. She jumps up and immediately begins sniffing me as if she knows where I’ve been.
“Did you miss me, girl?” It’s only been two days, but it feels like a week. “Come on, let me get you a treat, and then I’m going to jump in the shower.”
Aspen follows me obediently, as I reach for her treat jar, and sits, giving me her paw when I give her the command.
“Good girl,” I say, rubbing her behind the ear before refilling her water bowl.
“You need to pee?” I ask, opening the back door, but when she makes no signs of moving, I close it again, grab my bag and make my way to the ensuite bathroom on autopilot.
Turning on the walk-in shower, I strip out of my clothes before stepping under the spray and resting my arm against the cool tiled wall.
The water is a balm to my senses. Something about the running water always manages to calm me. My mum used to say how much I loved anything to do with water because I was a water baby, born in March.
I close my eyes as the hot spray runs over my bare back.
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.
I stay there, not moving for way too long, before I eventually cover myself in soap suds, wash, and rinse off.
Once I’ve dried off, I try to ignore my reflection as I pull out a clean t-shirt and pair of shorts from my bag and dress. I hold onto the counter, contemplating what to do. The shower was only a small reprieve.
“Fuck it.” I pull open the door, and Aspen sits up and follows me as I make my way to our home gym, ignoring the fact I had indeed just showered but way too wired and overstimulated to relax.
I turn on the lights and hit play on the sound system as Aspen goes to her bed in the corner of the room.
Finding the gloves on the bench, I strap them on and then begin hitting the punch bag. I’m a sweaty mess by the time the music is cut off, and I glance over my shoulder to find Caleb leaning against the door frame, watching me, his brows furrowed.
“Hey, you look like you’ve been a round or two with that bag,” he says, stalking towards me, still clad in his work suit.
I swipe the back of my arm over my forehead, and it comes away wet.
He reaches for one of the towels off the benches and tosses it towards me. I catch it and wipe it over my face.
My shirt is sticking to my back, and I almost reach for the hem and pull it off over my head, but I forego the urge and try to ignore the fact it’s drenched through.
Caleb leans in, his lips brushing mine, not in the least bit bothered I’m a sweaty mess.
“Missed you,” he says, pulling back.
“I missed you too,” I reply, meaning it.
He studies my face. “You look tired,” he comments. I shrug as I turn to undo the straps of my gloves.
“The conference was busy,” I reply, and internally cringe simultaneously, ashamed of my half-truth.
“Hmm, how about we have that getaway this weekend? Go to Torquay.”
As much as I want to say yes, I know I can’t, not with this hanging over my head.
“How about the end of the month,” I suggest instead. By then, I’ll know the outcome of the biopsy.
“Sounds good. I’ll let Jessica know to pencil it in.”
“Pencil what in?” Jessica asks. As she walks in, I turn towards her voice, clad in her Marvel pyjamas and fluffy socks. Walking straight up to me, she goes up on tiptoes to give me a chaste kiss.
“Torquay, at the end of the month, put it on your calendar,” Caleb says.
Jessica raises an eyebrow as she glances at him. “Yes, sir.”
He moves towards her in two steps, his hand moving to grip her hair as he tilts her face towards his—so primal, commanding—my dick twitches from the action.
“You know how much I love it when you call me sir.”
She groans as he slams his mouth down on hers. She grants him access straight away, his tongue dominating her mouth as she clings to the lapels of his suit jacket.
The sight has my cock hardening, and my interest piqued as I watch him tongue fuck her mouth.
His free hand moves to cup her breast, and my arousal dissipates.
“I’m going to shower,” I say, already walking away.
“Wait,” Caleb calls. I pause my steps, my back to him.
“How about some company?” he asks.
I look over my shoulder, noting the lust in Jessica’s eyes, her lips parted on a ragged breath.
“Or how about you continue what you started with our girl, and I’ll join you when I’m done,” I say, arching a brow.
I don’t wait for a reply as I leave them behind me, instantly feeling like a cunt as I make my way to the ensuite of the guest room for the second time today.
As much as it turns me on to see them together, I know I’m far from in the mood to play. It’s nothing to do with my attraction to them and everything to do with me.
The fear of them noticing or feeling the lump makes me anxious. And for the first time in what feels like a long time, I’m uncomfortable in my own skin.
I hate myself a little bit more by hoping by the time I’ve showered, and they’ve had a little time to placate each other’s needs, maybe they’ll be too tired to carry on with me.
Which I already know is ridiculous. Caleb is a man of stamina, and Jessica’s has improved so much since we first got together.
She’s as insatiable as we are, well, usually anyway.
I lock the bathroom door behind me, just in case either of them gets other ideas and does, in fact, try to join me.
Looking at my reflection in the mirror and my sweat-soaked t-shirt, I realise I might as well be cheating on them with how I’m acting. I’m ashamed of my behaviour and questioning if I truly deserve them.
After spending longer than necessary under the spray, I drag myself out and check on Aspen, who is happily mouthing a toy in her bed, and then I make my way to our bedroom.
Jessica and Caleb are already in bed. Jessica’s eyes are heavy as she tries in vain to read whatever book she has on her e-reader while Caleb sits beside her shirtless, his back resting against the headboard, tapping away at his laptop.
He glances up as I enter. “You okay?” he asks, closing the lid upon my entering. “I was going to come and get you,” he says.
I nod. “Yeah, sorry. I didn’t realise how much I needed that shower,” I reply, running the towel through my wet hair, already wearing a pair of boxer briefs and a t-shirt, but thankfully he doesn’t comment.
“Noah,” Jessica says, her voice tired as she rests her device on the bedside table and holds her hand towards me.
I willingly take her hand in mine as she tugs me in for a sweet kiss.
“Scoot,” I say and pull back the cover.
She shuffles backwards towards Caleb, who places his laptop on the other bedside table, his gaze returning to me.
“Did you take care of our girl?” I ask him.
He nods. “Of course. Twice, in fact. A shame you missed it.”
I lean over and kiss her lips softly. “And did you return the favour?” I ask her.
“Of course,” she replies, unable to stifle her yawn.
“Sleep, sweet girl,” I say, resting my hand on her hip.
“Torquay can’t come quickly enough,” Caleb says, covering my hand with his. “You’re both working too hard. Sleep, Noah.”
“I love you,” I reply.
“Love you too, both of you,” he says.
Jessica mumbles what I think is, “I love you both too”, but slumber soon takes her under and even though I close my eyes, sleep doesn’t take me quite so kindly.