Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
CALEB
To say I am fucking furious is an understatement.
Noah has been withdrawn for the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to push, even though everything in me demanded that I did. I was sure he’d tell us what was plaguing him when he was ready, but then he didn’t come home last night, even after a few calls and text messages.
Eventually, I gave in and checked the tracker app. Like me, he has a tracker on his watch.
I saw that he was at Elliot’s. I had mixed feelings about it, and then I got a message from Elliot saying he was there. Something about that stemmed my anger, but only a fraction. I’m still a jealous bastard when it comes to Noah and Jessica.
But I know that Noah would never do anything to jeopardise what we have.
The fact that Elliot was reaching out told me something was wrong. I can’t even explain. I just have this foreboding feeling.
I’m pacing the kitchen when I hear the sound of the front door and pause as I listen for familiar footsteps as they approach.
Aspen bounds off down the hall, and I can hear Noah saying hello to her as he rounds the corner, his eyes connecting with mine. His eyes are bloodshot—tired. Further confirming my fears that something is wrong. Seriously fucking wrong.
As much as I want to rip him a new one, my instincts tell me to hold my tongue, so without a word, I stalk towards him, my hand reaching for the back of his neck in a tight grip.
I can smell the alcohol on his breath, mixed with the faint scent of coffee, but I ignore it in favour of a kiss.
He goes rigid for a second, but then he kisses me back.
As much as I want to devour him and prove to myself that everything is perfectly fine, that isn’t going to happen. His entire body is taut with tension.
“What’s wrong?” I whisper against his lips.
He sucks in a hard breath.“There’s something I need to tell you and Jessica.”
Somethingabout the way he says those words sends forebodingthrough my entire being, and I swear it makes my heart lurch.
“What is it?” I ask.
Shaking his head, he steps back, and I let go of his neck.
“Where’s Jessica?”
I sense her before she speaks. “I’m right here,” she says, stepping up to him, her hair still damp from being fresh out of the shower. She cups his cheek and leans in for a sweet kiss.
“Noah?” she asks, pulling back.
I automatically reach for her hand and grip his shoulder, giving it a squeeze, needing to be connected to them both.
Something tells me this moment is significant, and whatever it is, he’s about to tell us.
“Let’s go sit down,” he suggests.
Neither Jessica nor I argue as we follow him over to the sofa.
I pull Jessica down beside me instead of into my lap because something about the look on Noah’s face makes me resist.
He stays standing and paces before stopping in front of us. His gaze flicks between the two of us.
I squeeze Jessica’s hand, my palms sweating.
“There’s no easy way to say this,” he says, swallowing hard, his Adam’s apple prominent.
He blows out a breath and squeezes his eyes closed before he opens them, but he’s staring right through us as words pass his lips.
“I have cancer.”
My ears buzz as my heart rate increases.
No, I must have misheard him, but the moment a stunned gasp escapes Jessica, I know I didn’t.
“I found out yesterday. I just…” he lets out a puff of air, his chin dropping to his chest. “I couldn’t quite process it.”
Jessicais the first to move, pushing to her feet and throwing her arms around his neck.
His arms wrap around her waist, pullingher to him.
It takes me a beat longer to get my faculties to work before I’m up and wrapping my arms around them both.
“Fuck,” I say as I breathe them both in.
And then I feel it, their combined sobs. I choke back my own, wanting—needing to be strong for the pair of them, but it doesn’t stop my own tears from falling. I quickly wipe them away.
“Let’s sit down,” I say, ushering them both to the sofa.
Aspen lays down at Noah’s feet and I move to sit on his other side.
“Tell us everything,” I say.
Jessica reaches over to the coffee table, grabbing some tissues from the box, and hands them out before wiping under her eyes.
He does the same, composing himself before he looks between the two of us.
“I have some swelling,” he says, his voice hoarse.
“At first, I thought maybe I’d strained myself at the gym, but when it didn’t go away, and Aspen kept being clingy, I knew I needed to book an appointment.
But I kept putting it off. I think I was in denial.
Anyway, they referred me, I had a biopsy, and they confirmed it’s breast cancer. Like my mum.”
He swallows hard at the mention of his mum.
“Breast cancer,” Jessica repeats his last words.
“Yeah.”
I reach for his trembling hand, trying to offer him my strength. “Is that why you’ve been distant? Because you didn’t know how to tell us?”
He nods, his tired eyes finding mine. “I didn’t want to worry you. I hoped I was wrong, but deep down, I already knew the likelihood was slim.”
“I hate that you felt like you couldn’t confide in us,” I admit. “But I also understand.”
Those words aren’t easy for me to say given the way this man drives me to distraction, but in the best way possible. But then the last thing he needs to be worried about is my fucking ego taking a hit while he was trying to deal with all of this.
“So what happens next?” Jessica asks, her voice soft and full of concern. “Where do we go from here?”
I adore her more at this moment than I could ever imagine because we’re a team, the three of us, and we’re in this together for better or for worse.
“I need to have surgery, and then we’ll know if I need treatment. I have some leaflets, but they’re in the glove box of my car at Elliot’s.”
“Good, I’m glad you didn’t drive if the fumes you’re giving off are anything to go by.”
He cringes at that. Yeah, he probably won’t be drinking again for a while.
“Let me cook you something to eat,” Jessica says softly.
On cue, Noah’s stomach grumbles, causing her to let out a small laugh. But it’s impossible not to hear the quiver of emotions in her voice.
“I’d like that,” he replies, and Jessica pushes herself to her feet and straightens her top before holding her hands for us to join her.
She loves being in the kitchen, it’s where she feels at home. It’s why I had the kitchen renovated in our Camber Sands property.
Noah moves to sit on a stool at the breakfast bar, and I pull out a carton of fresh orange juice, pouring us all a glass.
“How about a nice fry up?”
“Sounds good,” Noah says.
I nudge him as I perch on the stool beside him.
“You think you can keep it down?” I ask playfully.
He smirks at that. “I bloody hope so,” he says, his stomach growling again.
“Did you even eat last night?” Jessica chastises, and I know without a doubt that if and when she’s ready, she’ll make an amazing mother. Something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, if I’m being honest.
“Pretty sure Elliot forced some pizza down me.”
Bringing the glass to his lips, he swallows the cool orange juice, his throat rolling from the motion,
It seems so surreal talking about food under the circumstances, but I also feel like we need this moment to gather our thoughts, the news that Noah just delivered a heavy weight.
I think deep down I knew something was wrong. This is Noah, he never acts like this, but maybe I wanted to pretend like everything was all right, even if, in my gut, I knew something was off. This is why I trust my instincts, especially when it comes to both Jessica and Noah.
We need to get him the best possible treatment available. The alternative that he might not… no, I can’t even finish that chain of thought.
I grab hold of his hand and brush my thumb over the infinity symbol tattoo on his ring finger. I’ve never thought I needed to make what we have official, but now, at this moment, I very much want to give Noah and Jessica the love they deserve, vows and all.
With my mind made up, I know what I have to do next, just as soon as we decide on the best care available to see Noah through this.
I bring the back of his hand to my mouth and kiss his knuckles.
“I love you,” I whisper, my eyes finding his warm ones staring back at me.
He smiles, but his lips tremble as he swallows hard before replying, “I love you too, Caleb.” He reaches for Jessica’s hand as she comes over with some cutlery. “I love you both.”
I don’t miss the crack in his voice, the wariness of the unknown.
Knowing there are not enough words to convey how Ifeel in the moment—orthe deep-rooted fear of what’s to come—I realise that, despite always priding myself on control, at this moment, I have none. Not even the best-laid plans can determine the outcome.
I know the anger will come, and that I will need to physically release my feelings, but I can’t be selfish, not right now. Regardless of my own maelstrom of feelings, this isn’t about me. It’s about Noah, and he needs Jessica and me more than ever before.