Chapter 31
Chapter Thirty-One
JESSICA
To say the past few weeks have been hectic is an understatement, but this past week has been absolute chaos. I still can’t believe we pulled this off in such a short amount of time, and tomorrow we get to say our vows.
Noah is scheduled for surgery in less than a week. I worried that this might be too much for him, but if anything, I think he’s thrived on keeping busy.
“You okay?” Lily asks as she brings me over a glass of champagne.
“Yeah, just equal parts nervous and excited.”
Caleb and Noah insisted we all stay in our respective rooms, a way of keeping that tradition of not seeing the bride or grooms until the ceremony.
I tried to argue the point, but they wouldn’t have any of it.
It’s just one night, but I feel their absence, and I wonder if I’ll even be able to sleep tonight.
I opted for a slumber pamper night with the girls, so it’s not like I’m alone per se, and if Lily is giving up a night with her guys to spend it with me, I should count myself lucky to have such good friends.
Friends… it’s weird but I feel like I’ve always known them, that our friendship was pure happenstance. To me, they are the epitome of friendship.
“You know, when I was with Curtis,” I swallow, his name bitter on my tongue. “I lost a part of myself, cut myself off from my friends. I became someone I didn’t recognise.”
Avery reaches out, her hand moving to my ankle as Lily reaches for my hand.
“And then Caleb and Noah took me in, helped me heal. Even when I thought I wasn’t worth fixing.
With them I’ve learnt to love myself again.
And then you girls came into my life and all my broken pieces slowly began to heal.
I’m not the same as before and I wouldn’t want to be.
I’m not that girl anymore. I know healing isn’t one dimensional.
But you’ve shown me true friendship, accepted me for me, my faults and all.
I don’t have the words to thank you enough. ”
Lily’s eyes well with tears. “You don’t have to thank us for anything, Jess. Our friendship isn’t conditional. It’s not every day you find your people, so when you do, you handle them with care.”
Avery sniffs, wiping under her eyes. “Seriously you guys, whatare you doing to me? You’re really pulling on my dark heart strings, you know that right?”
I shake my head. “You’re all heart, Avery.”
She tries to brush it off, but Lily speaks up, “Stop with the self-deprecation, Avery. She’s right, you have one of the biggest hearts of anyone I have ever met.”
I nod, because she really does. She’ll be your biggest cheerleader, biggest advocate. Hell, I wouldn’t put it past her to walk on hot coals if it meant protecting the ones she loves.
She shakes her head and knocks back her champagne. But I know how hard it is to take compliments. I know it’s something I struggle with too.
“It’s true Avery. I actually want to be you when I grow up,” I say.
That causes her to let out a snort of laughter. “Now that is tragic, I have no idea what I even want to do with my life, much to my mother’s chagrin.”
She looks away, her shoulders falling with a heavy sigh.
“Is she still hassling you?” Lily asks in a sympathetic tone.
“Not really… I don’t know. I just feel like I can’t do right for doing wrong, trying to live up to high standards is hard. She’s always so well put together. You know how she is, Lily.”
Lily nods, but I’ve not met her parents yet. All I know is her dad’s a diplomat and her mum is a socialite.
“She’s been trying to set me up on more dates.” She scrunches her nose in disgust. “And no offence to her but her taste in men and mine are very different. Just because she hit the lotto with my dad, doesn’t mean I’m destined to the same fate.”
“Well not with that cynical view, no,” Lily replies, sipping her drink.
Avery stares at the bottom of her empty glass. “Meh, I’m used to men letting me down. I refuse to keep giving them the power. I’m better on my own.”
“I’m sure you are Avery, and no you don’t need a man. But if you’re just saying that because of some shit experience with a few rotten eggs, then aren’t you giving them the power to control you inadvertently?”
She blinks at Lily, her lips parting as she tries to form a response. “Are you using some sort of reverse psychology bullshit on me?” she asks.
Lily shrugs. “I have no idea, but is it bullshit or me just pointing out the truth?”
Avery wiggles her glass and holds it out for Lily.“I think I need another one of those before I even attempt to answer that.”
It’s on the tip of my tongue to bring up Mason, but if the past few weeks have taughtme anything,it’s not to get involved in whatever feud those two have going on. As long as they get along tomorrow, that’sall I can ask for. Not that I think eitherwoulddo anything to risk ruining our big day.
Lily lets go of my hand to lean over and grab the champagne from the ice bucket and tops up our glasses.
“Thank you,” Avery says and glances between the two of us.“I just don’t understand how this suddenly became about me when it’s your night Jess, you’re the one getting married tomorrow.”
Lily bites into a chocolate-covered strawberry, the chocolate cracking as she does, and I reach for one too.
“And tomorrow I’ll embrace it. But tonight is about friendship and letting go of the past and things that hold us back from being our most authentic selves.”
“It’s hard being a woman in a man’s world,” Avery says as she sinks into the pile of cushions. “It's the twenty-first century and yet we’re still fighting for basic rights, and it infuriates me.”
She’s not fucking wrong.
“Look at female friendships, for example,” she continues. “I’ve been burned more by those than I have by men, and that’s saying something.”
I shake my head. “I think jealousy has a fundamental part to play. I don’t get it, it’s not a competition and yet it feels that way so much of the time.”
Lily nods in understanding. “I hate it for Mia, I worry she’ll get sucked into the mean girl mentality.”
I shake my head. “With you and Avery as role models, no chance.”
Avery points her half-eaten strawberry at me. “And you, she looks up to you.”
My face heats. “Well, thank you, I take that as a compliment.”
“It’s true. She’s so excited for tomorrow. Thank you again for having her as one of your make-up artists.”
I smile. “Of course, it’s good work experience and she was invited anyway so it’s a win-win.”
“Well, it means everything, so thank you. I feel so blessed, you know, after everything.” Lily’s voice catches and I reach out for her hand, knowing how raw everything still is with what happened with her stepfather.
“I’m okay,” she says, fanning her hand over her face to stem the threatening tears.
“Being back here is nostalgic, but in a good way,” she admits.
Avery raises an eyebrow. “I bet it is, you dirty little minx.”
Lily slaps her leg playfully.“I mean,as hard as the circumstancesare thatbrought me here, Ihave some good memories.”
Avery wiggles her eyebrows, and we all laugh.
“Well yeah,there’s that, but it’s also so lovely, the perfect place to get married.”
“I still can’t believewe pulled it off. Imean I’m not surprisedwith Caleb, to be honest. But seriously, I wouldn’t even have my dream dress without you, Lily.”
She shies away from my compliment, much like Avery did just now too, but I get it, I’m the same when anyone eats my food.
“You are dream shakers and makers. It’s inspiring. You should both be really proud, Gods know I am.”
“I thought when I dropped out of culinary school, it was a lost cause, but Caleb and Noah helped me see otherwise. I think it’s important to chase those dreams, make them a reality.”
Avery sighs. “If only my mum were more like you in that regard. I feel like she just wants me to settle down and start a family and look good on someone’s arm.”
I don’t know enough about their dynamics, but I do know Avery should do whatever makes her happy.
“Avery, live the life you want, not the one someone else expects from you.”
Lily nods. “Your mum will come around. I’m sure she just wants you to be happy first and foremost.”
“Maybe,” she replies, getting lost in thought. “If I can just get her off my back for a while, I’ll have time to think. She’s pushing for me to go back home, no matter how much I tell her England is my home now.”
“And you will always have a place with us,” Lily says. “No matter what, okay?”
“Thank you. I love you guys,” she says, glancing between us.
I hold up my glass. “To friends who are family.”
Because that’s exactly who they’ve become… my family.