Chapter 35
Chapter Thirty-Five
NOAH
I’m working my hand through my hair when there’s a knock at my door right before Mason lets himself inside.
“Come in, why don’t you,” I say in greeting.
He smiles. “It’s like deja-vu,” he replies.
“What is?”
“Nothing, never mind.”
I shrug it off. “Looking dapper,” I say. His suit is immaculate, well, except for his tie hanging loosely around his neck.
“Did you give Jessica and Caleb my letters?” I ask.
“I did,” he says and hands me two envelopes. “You guys are so sweet it makes myteeth hurt.” He shakes his head. “You’re so whipped.”
I shrug and take them and put them on the table before returning to ironing my shirt.
“Thank you for the watch by the way.”
I look up as he holds up his wrist.
I nod. “That’s not all. Over there.” I tilt my chin to the table.
“Seriously?”
Turning off the iron, I fold my arms over my chest.
“Yes, seriously.”
He picks up the box and flicks the lid.
“They’re from Caleb and me,” I say, walking over to him.
It’s a pair of Mont Blanc cufflinks, like mine and Caleb’s, except ours has the word groom engraved on them.
“You guys are really pulling on my emotions. You know that right?”
I laugh and hold out my hand. “Here, I’ll help you put them on.”
He adjusts his sleeves once they’re in place.
“Thank you. It means a lot.”
“Of course, you’re family,” I reply honestly, my own emotions trying to get the better of me too. I swallow. “Let me get my shirt on and you can help me with mine.”
Grabbing it off the ironing board, I slip into my en suite and pull it on, making quick work of the buttons as I return to Mason.
I grab my own cufflinks and hand them to him.
“How was she?” I ask.
“Nervous.”
“Good or bad nervous?” I ask as he looks up once my cufflinks are in place.
The fucker chuckles. “Do you really even need to ask? Good nerves. Nothing could keep her from marrying you two arseholes.”
“I’m sure there’s an underlying compliment in there somewhere,” I deadpan, but am unable to keep from smiling.
“It was meant as one.”
I tie my silk tie into a knot before pulling on my suit jacket and letting out a deep breath.
“How do I look?” I ask, dropping my arms to my sides, unable to keep my hands from shaking.
“You look good, man,” he replies.
I blow out a breath. “Thanks, Mase. You have the rings, right?”
“Yep,” he replies, tapping the inside pocket of his suit jacket. “Right here.”
“Okay, good.”
His hand moves to my shoulder and squeezes.
“Are you feeling okay?” he asks.
I suck in a deep breath and nod. “I’m about to say my vows to the two most important people in my life, of course I’m okay.”
He searches my face. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Yeah, I know. But today is a good day. I’m okay,” I reply honestly.
He studies me for a beat. “Cool, just as long as you know I’m here for you any time.”
I nod. “Yeah, I know, Mase.”
He tilts his chin towards the door. “I’m going to go get Jessica.”
I wait until he’s left the room and blow out a breath and pick up one of the envelopes.
Dear Noah,
It’s no surprise today will be one of the best days of my life. And I know that sounds cliché, but it’s the truth. There are so many things I want to say, but there’s not enough ink and paper in the universe to adequately articulate how much I love you.
So instead, I’m going to show you, every single day. I’ll show you with the small moments how much you both mean to me.How every day you deem me worthy, I’ll show my love for you tenfold.
You both make me a better man.
I want you to know no matter what our future holds, I know our love will conquer any trials we might face. There is nothing we can’t all overcome together, and I believe that with every fibre of my being.
I’ll see you soon. I’ll be the other Groom, silently shitting a brick, waiting to say I do.
Love you to infinity and beyond, now and always,
Caleb
I smile, how Caleb can both be sentimental and then say shitting a brick in the same sentence is enough to ease some of my nervous energy.
Laying Caleb’s letter down, I reach for Jessica’s next.
Her writing, the perfect script.
Noah,
I’ve never been so nervous and excited all at the same time.
Sometimes it scares me how much I love you. How lucky I am to have both of you in my life.
You have no idea how many times I still pinch myself, wondering if this is all just a dream.
I want to thank you Noah. For loving me the way you do.
For helping to heal my broken pieces. You and Caleb make me a stronger, more confident version of myself and for that I will forever be grateful, you give me strength.
You breathed life back into me when I struggled to breathe.
You saved me in so many ways and in return I get to love you, both of you.
And for that, I can’t thank you enough. I love you more than I ever thought possible. Marrying you today in front of our loved ones means the world to me.
Thank you, Noah, for trusting me with your heart and soul.
I love you more than words can say. If love were infinite, it’s exactly how I’d describe what I feel about you.
Yours now and always,
Jessica
I smile to myself as I fold the letters and place them back into the envelopes.
My heart physically aches as I recall the other letter I wrote, the one I didn’t want to write but also knew I had to. There are some things that can’t be left unsaid.
I’m not saying I won’t fight with all that I have when the time comes, because I will.
I want them to know, regardless of space or time, how much I’ll love them. Even if I’m no longer here, I’ll still be with them. As much as they are a part of me, I am a part of them, too.
It fills me with dread, the idea of leaving them, but it would never be by choice.
I know how nothing tangible can live forever.
It highlights how precious life is, why we should celebrate every moment. Each day we’re gifted is a privilege. Age is something to be respected, revered, and appreciated for the gift it is.
My relationship with Jessica and Caleb is the best gift of all.
There was a time I wondered if I’d ever find love like this. I built my walls when I was older, enough to understand boundaries in order to protect my inner peace.
Watching how my dad hurt my mum traumatised me, I still hear her cries. How she tried to hide the bruises while trying to console me, making excuses for him. But all she ever tried to do was protect me, I understand that now.
I joined the army as soon as I turned eighteen, shortly after she died. I would have killed my father otherwise. But karma saw to that, and I hope he’s rotting in hell.
Reaching for the small memory box, I add Caleb and Jessica’s letters and glance at my mum’s locket. Reaching for it, I open it up to reveal the photo of her and me. I wanted to have a piece of her with me today.