Chapter Eleven
Jack
Two days. It’s been two days since I saw her, two days since I felt her lips on mine, and it”s all I can think about. I know we took it too far. I know she’s not ready for anything right now, but I lose my head when I”m near her. I know she wanted it as much as me, but, for whatever reason, she just can’t let herself give in to what she wants. I suspect that prick, Alex, is the root cause. How he’s treated her and made her feel makes me feral. I want to find him and make him regret everything he has ever said or done to her.
Despite knowing I shouldn”t, I’ve somehow ended up outside her house. I need to see her, to reassure her. To be her friend. Because I need her in my life. In any way, she’s willing to let me in. She doesn”t need another asshole making her feel like shit. She needs someone she can trust and rely on and I want to be that for her.
I’m sitting outside the blue and white house with flower boxes that decorate the porch. It’s small but cute and has Ria written all over it.
I step out of my black Audi, walk up the small brick-paved driveway, and pass her car. Fuck, she needs a new one. I can”t believe she drives around in that or more importantly that Alex lets the mother of his children drive around in that.
I didn”t want to turn up as Jack, her boss. I want to be Jack, her friend, so I”m in a pair of tennis shoes, dark jeans, and a plain black tee. Does it show off my muscles? Maybe. Did I pick it out on purpose for that very reason? Also, maybe. I want her to see me as a friend, but I”d be lying if I didn’t admit that I hope that, over time, she will see me as more.
I knock on the door and a dog barks on the other side—if you can call it that. It”s more of an annoying yap. No one comes to answer, so I go to knock again just as the door opens. My eyes drop to where a little brunette, who is the image of Ria, stands. She’s dressed in a pink princess dress, holding a little white dog, who is still yapping.
This must be Lexi.
“Hello, who are you?” she asks in the sweetest voice.
I am just about to introduce myself when the dog leaps out of her little arms and tries to jump up at me
“Nugget, nooooo,” she shouts.
Nugget? The dog’s called Nugget?
I scoop the dog up and stroke it till it starts to calm. I bend down so I am at eye level with Lexi. I don”t know much about kids, but a friend of mine has a toddler and I know he likes it when I get down on his level.
“Hi, I”m Jack. I”m friends with your mommy. Is she here?”
In the distance I can hear Ria shouting as she comes towards the door “Lexi, what have I told you about opening the door? I was just getting your sister in the highchair…” She stops, eyes wide. “Jack? What are you doing here?”
I rise up, still holding the tiny dog, and smile. “I just wanted to check in and see how you were.” I hesitate, wondering if I’ve done the right thing. “Is now a bad time?”
Before she can answer, Lexi speaks, “No, it”s a great time. We are going to watch Cinderella. Mommy got popcorn and MM”s and she never lets me have MM”s, but she”s got me some today. Do you want some?” She rambles without taking a breath. Looking up at me with big ocean blue eyes that are just like Ria’s, there”s no way I can say no to her.
“Sure, if that”s okay with your mom.” My eyes avert to Ria, who is worrying her bottom lip in that adorable way she does when she’s thinking.
“Erm, sure, come in.” She runs a hand across her forehead. “Please excuse the mess.”
I smile, stepping into her narrow hall, shutting the door before I kick my shoes off and set Nugget down. He follows Lexi into a room and I follow Ria.
We round a corner into the kitchen. Farmhouse-style cabinets give the small space a cozy, homely vibe. I notice a vase of yellow roses in the window, her favorite flower if I remember correctly, and a fruity scent fills the air. I hear a little squeal and turn my head to a baby in a highchair, clapping her hands as Ria smiles at her.
“Sorry, I”m just giving Elle a snack before she has a nap. I”ll feed her and then get you a coffee.” She takes out a pink bowl from the microwave, stirring and blowing on the food. It smells like apples and berries. Elle’s eyes light up, waving her chubby little arms around and licking her lips.
“It”s too hot, baby. One sec,” Ria says gently.
She pulls up a stool in front of the highchair and checks the temperature of the food before giving it to Elle. I can”t help but scan her body and notice the way her black leggings hug her petite legs as she leans over to spoon-feed Elle. This is a side of Ria I haven”t seen. Ria as a mom. Her hair is in a messy bun, with stray hairs falling, framing her delicate features. She’s make-up free, but she has never looked more beautiful and I can”t help but look at her and smile.
An unfamiliar feeling erupts in my stomach, taking me off guard. Are those butterflies?
“I can make the coffee, just show me where everything is,” I tell her. She looks surprised by my offer but points to her coffee machine and the drawer underneath.
I find what I need and work out how the machine works to make us both a caramel latte and by the time I”ve placed them on the kitchen counter, Elle has finished her bowl of whatever mashed food Ria fed her and is now nibbling away on a rice cake.
“Thanks.” She yawns, taking the coffee from my hand. “Sorry, the girls had me up early today. I”m gonna need another three of these to make it to bedtime.”
“No problem.” I pause, unsure how to explain why I’m here. “I”m sorry for just turning up, but I figured after what happened, you would find a reason not to let me come over if I asked.”
“Yeah, maybe,” she says with a smirk as she sips her coffee.
I pull up a stool so I”m on the opposite side of her small kitchen island and set down my cup. Nerves flood my body as I prepare to say what I came here to say. “Ri, I don”t want to make things weird between us. I know you have a ton of stuff going on right now, so I understand your priority is all of this and your girls.” I gesture with my hands around the room.
She gives me a small smile.
“So maybe, for now, we could be friends. Just friends. I want to be there for you, Ri, in any way you’ll let me. You need milk, you call me. You got a flat tire, I”ll come change it. You want takeout and a game of Scrabble, I”m your guy.” I point to my chest.
She laughs, tilting her head. “You play Scrabble?”
“I do. As a matter of fact, I’ll have you know that on our tour of Afghanistan in 2011, I was the Scrabble champion of Camp Bastion.” Folding my arms across my chest, making my arm muscles flex, I don’t miss how she tracks the movement. I might be agreeing to just be friends, but that doesn”t mean we can”t have a little fun too; still be playful like we have always been.
“So, do we have a deal? What happened at the club is forgotten?”
Should you ever want to explore whatever that was that happened back there, you let me know,is what I want to say, but, instead I tell her, “I”m your friend before anything else, okay?”
She looks at me like I”ve just said everything she needs to hear. “Deal.” She nods, reaching out to clink her coffee mug with mine, and the way her entire face lights up has me transfixed.
The moment of silence is broken by Lexi shouting. “Mommy, can we watch the movie?”
“No rest for the wicked,” she sighs. “Yes, baby, but I need to put Elle down for her nap then we can, okay?”
“Ugh, okay.” Lexi’s disappointment is apparent, despite her being in another room.
Ri laughs, getting up to pick Elle out of her highchair, kissing the top of her head. “You’re welcome to stay and watch the movie with us, but I get it if that”s not your thing—”
Without hesitation, I answer, “Yeah, I”d love to stay,” because truthfully, I’d watch all the princess movies if it meant spending time with her.
“I need to put her down. Do you mind hanging with Lexi? If she asks for MM’s tell her she has to wait.”
I chuckle. “Okay, I think I can handle that.”
As I walk into the front room, Lexi tips one of the many toy boxes I can see dotted around the space, onto the wooden floor. An array of dolls and tiny accessories flood the floor and she looks at me with wide eyes. ”Oopsie.”
I sit on the floor next to Lexi. ”What are you playing?”
Lexi eyes me, then her gaze drops to the floor. “You”re not mad I made a mess?” I shake my head as my brow furrows slightly.
”No, why would I be mad?”
She shrugs, swirling her hand into the pile of toys. ”My daddy always gets mad.” My heart squeezes for her, for Ria and what they”ve been through. I can”t focus on Alex right now though, Lexi is more important.
”Sometimes adults get mad, but it”s not your fault.” She nods. ”Come on, show me your favorite toy.”
“This one,” she beams excitedly. “Barbie, do you like Barbie?”
“Yeah, sure,” I reply, never having had an opinion about Barbie until now.
“Mommy only lets me play with Barbies if I don”t take the heads off.”
I tilt my head, looking at the mini Ria in front of me. ”Why do you take the heads off?” Probably a loaded question, but here we are.
She picks up the doll, waving it in front of my face. ”To swap them, duh.”
“Of course,” I say, tapping my forehead. ”Silly me.”
”But Nugget ate one of the heads and went to the doggie hospital, so now I don”t swap them.”
I laugh. Kids are so funny.
”Did you pick his name?”
She nods. ”Chicken nuggets are my favorite food ever. They are soooo good.”
“They sure are.”
She stands up and drops the Barbie to the floor. “Do you like Cher?”
“Cher. the singer?”
“Yeah,” she says excitedly, running over to the record player and pulling out a vinyl.“It”s Mommy’s favorite song and my song. Do you want to watch me sing?”
Oh, I can”t wait to tease Ri about this.
“I think your mommy is getting Elle to take a nap. It might be too loud, sweetie.”
“No, it won”t,” she says adamantly.
“Okay, sure.” Who am I to tell her no?
Her little hands place the record on the player, and she walks over to me and gives me a remote. “This one’s a fancy one. When I say hit it, you need to press the red button, okay?”
“Got it.”
She drags over a little pink plastic microphone that”s connected to a pink stand, full of confidence and determination, and gives me a thumbs up. I give her one back with a smile.
Shit, she’s cute.
She turns around, so her back is to me and points her little finger in the air.
“Hit it.”
I let out a little chuckle and hit the button and get the shock of my life when “It”s in His Kiss” booms from the speaker. Jumping, I fumble in a blind panic, trying to find the volume button on the remote.
I don”t move for two and a half minutes, watching this little four-year-old spin around and give the performance of her life. Pointing her finger and doing a little scoop and sway to the “Shoop Shoop” part.
Just as Lexi is belting out the final bars, Ria opens the living room door.
“Yessssss, well done. Encore encore,” I whisper shout, as I give her a standing ovation, clapping softly, conscious the baby is asleep.
Lexi takes a bow. “Okay, hit it again.”
“Noooo,” Ria shouts over us. “No encore, Lex. What have I told you about that song?”
“But you play it, Mommy. I like the Shoop Shoop bit.” Lexi starts swaying again and I have to press my lips together to prevent a laugh from escaping.
“Okay, that”s enough,” Ria announces, rubbing her hands over her face in exasperation. “Lex, go get your stuffies and blanket and I’ll get the movie on.”
Lexi huffs and sulks out of the room.
Ria laughs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Dear God, what is wrong with her? I’m sorry. She likes to perform but refuses to sing along to anything age-appropriate.”
“Don”t apologize, smile. She”s great and a lot like someone else I know.” I wink, making her cheeks pinken. “So Cher?” I say with a smirk. “Didn’t have you down as a fan.”
She bends down and starts picking up the dolls and placing them in the box.
“She’s my guilty pleasure along with a few others,”
I kneel down to give her a hand.
“Why doesn’t that surprise me? Me and Noah used to hear you wailing and moaning along to your record player in your room when you were a kid.”
“Shut up,” she squeals, giving me a playful tap to the chest. My body tingles at the contact. “I did not moan.”
I lean in a little closer, focusing my eyes on hers and lowering my voice. “Oh, you did, but don”t be embarrassed, sweetheart, I enjoyed hearing your moans.”
She smirks, avoiding my eyes and she looks down at the floor. My dick twitches at the sight of her tongue running along her bottom lip and the idea of her moaning my name.
Yeah, this whole ‘let”s be friends’ thing is going well.
She heads out towards the kitchen, and I follow. Stopping at the bottom of the staircase, she calls softly “Lex, movie time.”
She turns, not expecting me to be so close behind, and her chest bumps with mine. She clears her throat, squaring her shoulders and looking up at me.
“Well, I hope you are in the mood for Cinderella.”
“Always,” I say with a grin.
I help Ria pop some corn and put some MM”s into a bowl and we make our way back to the front room. Lexi is already set up with her blanket and her pink bunny on the couch. She wasn”t joking about Lexi and MM”s; she inhaled them in under ten seconds and she looked like a hamster who had overfilled its cheeks.
“Hey, leave some of those for Mommy, they are mine too,” Ria whines.
Lexi shakes her head from side to side, unable to speak.
“Lexi, spit them out now you will choke,” Ria demands, taking a bowl and squeezing her cheeks until out fly half-eaten sweets.
I clearly didn”t hide the horrified look on my face well because Ria snorts a laugh. “You still sure you want to stay?”
“Oh yeah, absolutely. Just no MM”s for me… ever again.” I wrinkle my nose.
We settle down on the couch, Lexi in the middle of Ria and I while we watch Cinderella, and by watch, I mean Lexi talked through about three-quarters of it. She was either asking me questions about my favorite princess or telling me what was about to happen and then, just as the prince was placing the glass slipper on Cinderella”s foot, she crashed out with her head in Ria’s lap.
“Wine?” Ria mouths and gestures a drinking motion with her hand.
“Absolutely,” I mouth back.
Ria gestures for me to pass the gray scatter cushion that’s next to me. I pass it as she slowly gets up and gently places Lexi’s head on the cushion, pressing a light kiss to her cheek, and then heads out in search of wine. I can”t help but stare at Lexi snoring away and smile.
Warmth fills my chest. I”ve never had the burning desire to have kids. Sure, I like them, but I’ve always been okay if I had them or not. I’m an only child, so I never grew up with siblings, but looking down at little Lexi and watching Ria with her girls, I think I could see them in my future.
I’m taken away from my thoughts by Ria handing me a glass of red. That first sip goes down so smoothly, the perfect mixture of acidity and fruit. I let out a slow breath, leaning back and resting my head against the couch.
“Isn’t it too early for wine? It”s like 4 pm?”
She manages to squeeze herself on the end of the couch next to Lexi, careful not to wake her. Raising her glass. “Well, it”s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?” she laughs.
“Can”t disagree with that,” I say, clinking my glass with hers and taking another sip. “Do they usually nap this late in the day?”
“They should have woken up an hour ago,” she sighs. “We had a rough night last night. Lexi peed the bed and Elle was teething so it was musical beds. They can sleep a little longer.”
I look at her in awe. “How do you do it… do this?” I gesture at Lexi and around the living room full of toys.
“I don”t know, I just do. I don”t have a choice, but even if I did, I’d still want to do it. It’s hard work, but they are amazing, and being a mom is the best thing I”ve ever done.” She looks down at Lexi stroking her hair, a smile spreading across her face.
Watching her, I get it. Why she reacted the way she did to our kiss, why she panicked about losing her job. These girls are her world and she wants to be able to take care of them on her own.
“You”re a great mom, Ri. They are lucky to have you.”
“Thank you,” she says with genuine appreciation, because I get the feeling Alex never told her.
We talk until we hear Elle wake on the monitor and Lexi wakes asking for more MM”s.
“I should probably get going. I”ve intruded on your day enough.”
“No, stay,” Lexi mutters sleepily, grabbing hold of my hand.
“Mommy is getting us pizza from the pizza shop. Do you like pizza?”
“I love pizza. What’s your favorite topping?”
“Pepperoni,” she says proudly, raising her hands in the air. She really is the cutest kid I”ve ever met.
I give a dramatic gasp. “Mine too.”
She giggles and her little face beams with excitement.
“Can he stay, Mommy?” she pleads.
“Of course he can, but Jack is very busy, so he might not be able to.”
My eyes find hers, never breaking contact because I need to know she hears what I’m saying. “I”m never too busy for you, Ri.”