Chapter Thirty-Four
Jack
She”s mine. Having Ria officially as mine has filled a void in my life that I didn”t know was there. We”ve fallen into a comfortable routine of spending time at hers with the girls and nights at mine after work on the weekends when they are with Alex and his parents. I know she wants to take it slow and wait till she’s officially divorced, and I respect that, but I’d be lying if I said that didn”t bother me. I want to shout from the rooftops that Ria Kennedy is mine, but Ria begged me to keep things professional at work and I begrudgingly agreed.
Business has been booming and there is talk of us opening up another club, but deciding on a location is proving difficult. Do we stay stateside or take a real risk and go overseas? We have some meetings with potential investors and in order to get them to agree we need to make sure everything is above board, so today we have all staff in for various training, including Ria.
I finish my coffee as I sit at my desk surrounded by paperwork, trying to get my head around these potential locations when I hear a little tap at my office door.
“Come in,” I call.
The door opens full force and in comes a bouncing Lexi, a slightly stressed looking Ria and smiley Elle on her hip, chewing on her hands and drooling.
“Hello ladies.” I smile, standing from my chair to walk round my desk and greet them.
“Hey, are you sure about this? It’s not too much?” Ria asks, sounding hesitant.
“Firstly, no, it isn’t. I told you I’d watch the girls whilst you did the training. I’m just sorry it’s in the middle of the day, and secondly…” I press a gentle kiss to her lips. “Hi, sweetheart.”
She lets out a breath. “Hi.”
I reach out and take Elle from her. “Go, go get a coffee and relax. You”ve got twenty minutes, me and miss Elle here are going to read through some contracts and Harry is coming to color with Lexi, and he might have some MM’s,” I say looking down at her and the grin on her face makes my heart skip a beat.
“Yesssss.” She claps.
“Okay, okay, everything you need is in this bag,” she tells me, handing me a bag the size of a suitcase.
“What the heck is in this? I packed less for a deployment to Afghanistan.”
She laughs. “Trust me, you’re gonna need it.”
“Be good, girls.” She blows them a kiss and heads for the door, and I watch her ass sway in her uniform.
“Right, who wants to have a snack?”
“Meeeee,” Lexi squeals, shooting her arm in the air.
Harry shows up with enough art supplies for Lexi to fill an art studio and they make a picture on the floor.
“Harry, no, that bit is pink, this bit is blue,” she scolds when Harry apparently gets it wrong.
“Sorry, Lex,” he grumbles. “I thought it looked good blue.”
“It doesn”t,” she says so matter-of-factly.
“Getting put in your place by a four-year-old, Haz… priceless,” I laugh.
Elle has been bouncing on my lap and dribbling over paperwork and in between kisses on her head and cuddling her and her using every gadget on my desk as a teething ring. I think I am handling this babysitting thing. It’s then I realize I don”t just want to babysit, I want this to be my life. I want my days spent with them.
The office door opens, and Brad enters making a gagging sound. “Jeez, what is that? It smells like ass in here,” he says, covering his nose.
I lift Elle’s butt to my face and sniff. I gag. “Fuck,” I mutter under my breath. “That smells so bad.”
“Do you know how to change a diaper?” Harry asks.
“I”ve watched Ria do it loads of times. Get the bag.” I point at Harry. He opens it and starts pulling out various things.
“Jesus, what the hell is in here? It’s like Mary Poppin’s bag,” Harry says.
“Pass me that.” Grabbing the diaper-changing mat, I lay it on my office desk.
“You”re doing it on there?” Brad asks, his face dropping.
“Where else am I meant to do it?”
“I don’t know, man, but not on the oak desk,” he replies, his tone horrified.
Fuck, I’m sweating. I don’t know what I’m doing here, but if this is going to be my life, I need to figure it out.
“Shall I go get Ria?” Brad asks looking a little green. “Shit, it smells so bad. What’s she feeding her?”
“No, no, we can do this.”
“WE?” they both shout, staring at me.
I lay Elle down on the changing mat, take off my suit jacket, and start rolling up the sleeves of my shirt.
“Right, Haz, you get me the wet wipes and a new diaper. Brad, you get the trash can ready.”
“Roger,” they say in unison like we are back in the Marines.
I unbutton Elle’s onesie and peel back the yellow sticky tabs on the diaper like I’ve seen Ria do. I pull it down and I’m met with the most toxic smell that makes my eyes water.
“Jesus Christ,” I mutter.
“I’m gonna puke,” Harry says, dry heaving. “Why the fuck are there no windows in here?” he mumbles, looking round the room for a way to escape.
“Man, that”s toxic. How did that come out of someone so tiny?” Brad asks, holding my suit jacket over his mouth and nose.
Elle starts to roll and the most feminine screech I’ve ever made leaves my throat as I reach for her, terrified she”s going to get shit all over my contracts.
“I told you not to do it on the desk, Jacqueline,” Brad laughs.
“Harry, wipes, now.” I hold out a hand, waiting for the wipes, but when I look up and he’s lying on my couch still dry heaving.
“God, you are useless. How the hell did you cope at war?”
“War didn”t smell like that, brother. I’ve seen some things, but that, that smell could end a war. Just drop one of Elle’s diapers into enemy territory. They will be waving the white flag in no time.”
“Pull yourself together and get me the wipes.” He gets up and takes one of Elle’s spare onesies, tying it round his face like a mask, only exposing his eyes as hands me the wipes.
Elle gurgles and squeals, kicking her legs and trying to roll as I wipe her. “Baby girl, hold still, please.” Christ, it”s like trying to baptize a cat.
“Right, I need a clean diaper and some butt cream, or powder. I can’t remember.”
“What’s the difference,” Brad asks. “Why would you put powder on a baby’s butt?”
“I don’t know. Something about a rash?” I rub my forehead, feeling a tension headache forming.
“Let me Google it,” Harrys says, pulling out his phone.
“Lexi, what does mommy use? , does she use powder or cream?” I ask her.
Why the heck I am asking a four-year-old for diaper changing advice? Desperation, clearly.
“Erm, both.”
“What goes first, the cream or the powder?” Harry asks holding up both items.
“I don’t fucking know,” I whisper shout so Lexi can’t hear me swearing.
God, I feel myself teetering on the edge, sweat rolling down my back.
“It like the egg and the chicken debate. Who came first ?” Harry laughs.
“The egg,” Brad blurts out.
“The what?” I ask, confused as hell at this conversation.
“The egg came first,” Brad says confidently.
“No, it was the chicken,” Harry confirms.
“How did the chicken get there then… from the egg.”
“So how did the chicken get there then, dumbass? Tell me that. Did it just fall out the sky?”
“Will you two zip it? I don’t give a hoot who came first, the chicken, the egg or the damn duck. Just someone pass me something before she pees all over these contracts,” I say through gritted teeth. I can feel myself unraveling. How is it this hard to change one diaper?
“Here, use this.”
Harry passes me the butt cream, and I put it on and then go in with the powder.
“Oh, noooo,” I mutter.
“What?” Dumb and Dumber mutter in unison.
“It’s made a paste; she looks like a rotisserie chicken ready for the oven,” I say in horror.
Why would Ria want to be with me or have me around her girls, if I can’t even change a damn diaper?
“Jack, look, look at my flower,” Lexi calls waving around a piece of paper.
“Great job, princess. I’ll take a look in a sec,” I say back, lowering my tone, muttering, “Jack’s just having a crisis at the minute.”
How the hell does Ria do this? She’s Superwoman.
“Yeah, you are meant to use butt cream or powder, not both, Google says,” Harry tells me, looking at his phone.
I glare up at him.
“Where the hell was that information three minutes ago, huh? Quick, hand me a wet wipe.”
“I can’t. You used them all cleaning up the baby shi—uhhh, poop.”
I wipe my hands down my face in frustration, forgetting they are covered in butt cream and powder.
“Bro, you got a little something right there.” Harry gestures to my cheek.
I slowly turn my head and stare at him dead in the eyes, giving him a murderous look.
“Never mind, looks great.” Shaking his head, I can see he’s desperately trying to stifle a laugh.
“Why am I still holding this trash can?” Brad groans, looking round for somewhere to put it.
Our heads all turn at the sound of running water coming from my desk.
“Aaahhhh, the contracts,” I shriek as I scoop Elle up. Harry dives for the contracts, flinging pee in mine and Brad”s direction.
“Dude, what the hell?” Brad shrieks.
Game over, I lose it. Tears prick my eyes and I laugh. Looking round my office, it looks like the aftermath of The Hangover, we”re just missing the tiger.
Clothes, toys, wet wipes, diapers, food and drinks scattered everywhere. Harry looks like he’s about to go in to battle with his makeshift balaclava still round his face and Brad hasn”t moved the suit jacket that’s now covered in pee that he”s been holding in front of his face for fear of breathing in the smell of baby poo.
I accept defeat and tape the new diaper together before I dress Elle. The poor baby has her onesie half undone and a very loose diaper hanging off her butt.
“I need a drink,” I breathe out.
“One step ahead of you” Harry hands me a tumbler of whisky and one to Brad, removing his makeshift mask. “Cheers to surviving that shit show,” he says, lifting his glass, clinking it with ours and downing in one.
“So, are we going to talk about what this means?” Brad asks giving Elle a pointed look.
“What do you mean? She took a poop, I changed her. What do you mean, what does it mean?”
“I don”t know about you, but the only way I would be changing diapers and running Daddy Day Care out of my office for kids that weren”t mine would be if I was in love with their mom,” Brad says matter-of-factly.
“Agreed, or if she was a freak in the sheets,” Harry adds, pouring another whiskey while chuckling to himself.
“Don”t talk about her like that,” I hiss, slapping him on the back of the head. “And no more drinking.” I take the drink out of his hand.
”Oooh, look Brad. Daddy’s spoken,” he says mocking me.
“Do you use that tone with Ria? Is she into the daddy kink? Does she like a little spanking,” he says, bending over my desk and giving his ass a shake.
Jesus Christ.
“I swear to God, you are lucky I am holding Elle right now. Don”t talk about her like that,” I whisper hiss, mindful Lexi is in the room but thankfully busy with her coloring to notice the chaos on this side of the room.
“Ha! see! You do, you love her, I know you. Nothing bothers you, nothing angers you, you only react like that when it’s something or someone important to you. Admit it.”
I wipe my free hand over my face, smearing more cream and powder over my cheeks in frustration.
Fuck, he’s right.
“It’s complicated with Ri. She”s going through a divorce and I don”t wanna make things harder. There’s Noah to consider, and she wants to take things slow and… I don”t know.” I let out an exasperated breath.
“I see the way she looks at you, and the way you look at her. Aint no fucking way she doesn’t feel the same way about you. You need to tell her,” Brad says calmly, always observing this one.
Harry wanders over to the couch near Lexi and Brad sits himself against my filing cabinet, clutching his whiskey.
Harry looks at me like he’s had a lightbulb moment. “It’s her isn”t it, Ria? She’s the secret girl?”
“What?” I reply like I don”t know what she’s talking about.
“The girl, the girl you wouldn”t talk about, the girl who would write to you, the reason why you haven”t settled down. Whenever I asked you why you couldn’t be together, you said it was complicated. It”s Ria, isn’t it?”
I can’t find the words, so I just give him a knowing look and a small nod.
Harry looks back at me as if suddenly everything made sense. “I don”t mean to get deep here and bring the mood down, but you know how short life is, more than most people, the stuff we”ve seen, the things we”ve done.” Harry pauses.
“It”s why we got out. You”ve changed since you’ve been around her. I’ve never seen you happier. So, if you love her, tell her, don”t wait. Don”t spend another ten years pinning for her.”
“Well, shit, who knew Harry had it in him to talk sense?” Brad mutters.
He’s right, I know he is.
“Who do you love?” Lexi asks, lifting her head up from the coloring she”s been concentrating on.
Shit, how much has she heard?
Before I can think of a way to answer that question I am saved by the sound of my office door opening. I whip my head round to see Ria stood in their, mouth wide open, eyes bulging out her head, taking in the scene before her.
“Mommy, look I did a picture,” Lexi shouts excitedly from the only corner of my office that”s untouched from the diaper mission.
“What happened?”
“Your baby took a shiii—poop in her diaper,” Harry says dryly.
Ria’s hands fly up to her mouth and her body starts to vibrate with laughter.
“I don”t know what you’re feeding her, but it smelled so bad you should bottle that and send it to your enemies.”
“Well, now you’re back, I’m going outside to breathe in some fresh air and book myself a vasectomy, so I don”t ever have to do that again,” Brad says, getting up from his spot on the floor.
“Right behind ya, buddy,” Harry says, following Brad out the door. Reaching the door, he mouths “Tell her”, before closing it and leaving.
“I think I ruined her. I didn”t know if you used cream or powder and Lexi said both, so I did both and it made a paste. Now she looks like she’s been seasoned for the oven.” I look down at Elle, and her little eyes look up at me and I give her a weak smile. “Sorry. Kiddo.”
I wipe my brow. Shit, I’m sweating again.
She walks towards me, reaching out and affectionately stroking Elle’s face, then looking up at me, she says, “Thank you.”
“Thank you? For turning your baby into a rotisserie chicken?”
She laughs, falling into my side. The sound hits me right in the heart. I want to hear her laugh like that every day.
“Thank you for trying, thank you for looking after them. You did an amazing job.”
“The state of my office and the sweat stains forming on my shirt respectfully disagree, but I appreciate the praise.”
“You also have something here.” She reaches out to my cheek and wipes away some paste with her thumb, before moving in closer and kissing me. I think she will pull away as our kisses in front of the girls are always brief, but she doesn”t. She deepens the kiss ever so slightly and I wrap my free arm around her, pulling her into me.
I stink of baby poop and sweat, and I’m covered in powder, but I don”t care, and I don”t think she does either. I know I need to tell her, to show her how serious I am about us. I just want it to be perfect. This moment feels like another turning point in our relationship as we navigate this journey from friends to lovers, hopefully forever.