Chapter 10 #2
Long nights
Lazy morning
Her fingers grazing my skin
My name on her tongue
A scowl crosses my face at a loud knock on the door. Fucking inspiration always hits at the worst time. Before I can even answer, Darren strides into the room. He sees the pen in my hand and has the decency to wince.
“Sorry. We got worried when you were late to the greenroom.”
“So you barged in thinking I was getting high?” I set my guitar in the case and toss my closed notebook on top of it.
“It wouldn’t be the first time.”
I have nothing to say back to that because he’s right. “I got caught up writing new material.”
“That’s great. I know it’s been a challenge for you here lately. I can’t wait to hear what you’ve come up with.”
He probably won’t like it, I can already tell it’s a softer, more sensual song than what we usually put out. Maybe Xan and Tobias will be able to add an edge to it.
I follow Darren out of my room and into the greenroom.
The spread of snacks and drinks in here is much bigger.
Everything from a veggie platter to the Swedish candy that Xan always requests.
The only thing missing is the Jim Beam, Johnny Walker, and Jose Cuervo that we used to have multiple bottles of.
The air doesn’t reek of pot, and there’s no white powder dusting the table.
I give both Tobias and Xander assessing looks. Neither of them look particularly put out by our new normal. Or they’re just fucking good at hiding it. I doubt that’s the case, though; after over a decade of working and living together, I know them inside and out, just as they do me.
I’d hoped to see Hazel in here with them, but a quick glance tells me she’s nowhere to be found. Neither is Jade.
“Where are the girls?” I ask.
“Together out in the crowd,” Xan answers with an edge to his voice.
“With security?”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Tobias groans. “Yes. They’re also both adults in case you missed it. The two of you need to calm the fuck down.”
I look over at Xan, confused by him being lumped in with me. His expression is shuttered as he slides picks into his pocket. He likes to switch back and forth between fingers and picks depending on the song, but he always has a pocketful just in case.
I’m not going to apologize for worrying about their safety, but it is time to block the world from my mind.
The thousands of people filling the arena paid good money to be here and it’s our job to give them a damn good show.
Luckily for me, the stage has always been the one place that centers me. The place I don’t need to escape from.
We go out into the hall, grabbing all crew members we can for our pre-show rituals and get ready to take the stage. The cheering from the crowd vibrates all around us, from the floor to the walls as the opening act exits the stage, giving us quick nods of acknowledgement as they pass.
Tobias sneaks on stage first tonight, as soon as the spotlight hits him, he bangs out a fast beat. While all attention is on Tobias, Xan walks out. He plays a few bars of our intro as another spotlight shines down on him. I drag a deep breath in and walk out in the darkness.
My arms fly open wide as soon as a third spotlight lights me up. The crowd goes absolutely ballistic. I give them my biggest smirk.
“Hello, Toronto.” I pause to take in the whistling and screaming. My ego soaks it in like a sponge. “We’re Blue Sunday, and we’re here to blow your minds with this show.”
Sweat runs down my temples as I hand my guitar off to a crew member as soon as I’m offstage.
The energy of the crowd was palpable tonight; I can still feel it reverberating through my bloodstream while I take out my in-ear.
I need a shower, my notebook, and a night of nothing but guitar strings and starlight.
Darren follows me into my dressing room when I beckon him with a gesture of my head.
“I’m going straight back to the hotel. I have a ton of ideas and the energy to harness them,” I say as I whip my sweat-soaked shirt over my head.
“Do I need to go with you?” His voice is hesitant, as if he’s not sure whether or not to believe me.
“No.” I stand with my guitar case in hand. “But I’ll let Adam into the room until you get back to check on me.”
I don’t care if Adam babysits me while I work. He’ll just pull out one of his books and start reading, I’ll forget he’s even there, to be honest. He’s a mountain of a human being, but he’s also really adept at fading into the background.
“Okay. If you hurry you can probably grab the car that Hazel is taking back to the hotel.”
“I’ll tell Dan to hold it for us,” Adam says, turning to pass the instruction through his headset.
Part of me gives a second thought to showering really quickly here. I know I smell awful and would rather not expose Hazel to my post-show funk, but my creative urges are too great to ignore right now. I need to get back to my room.
I follow Adam out the back, waving to the crowd around the fencing before sliding into the waiting SUV. Hazel is tucked back in the third row, a frown marring her face as she texts on her phone. Dan is in the front seat, and Adam takes the one behind him.
I wait to speak to her until she sets her phone down on the seat beside her. “Did you enjoy the show tonight?”
She looks up at me, her eyes flaring as she takes in my shirtless form. “Are you allergic to shirts?”
I look down at myself, running my hand over my tattooed skin. “Why would I want to cover this work of art?”
“You’re so humble.” She gives me another glance. “And sweaty again. Twice in one day, what did I do to be so lucky?”
“Come back to my room when we get to the hotel, and it can be a third time.”
“Pass.” Her phone lights up, and she frowns as she looks at the notification. “I need to write tonight, anyway. I got hit with a wave of ideas earlier, and I want to capitalize on it.”
“Must be in the air because so did I. You’re welcome to come hang with me while I work. Body doubling is a proven method to stay focused.”
“Body doubling?”
“Yeah, like parallel play almost but work. You’d work on writing your book. I’d write my songs. Unless occasional guitar playing and me mumbling lyrics would distract you.”
“Parallel play? Like toddlers?”
“Yeah.”
“How’d you learn about that term?”
“My sisters both have kids the same age, they were talking about it one day while I was over.”
“I didn’t realize you had sisters.”
“I try to keep everything around my family private, especially my nieces and nephew.”
“So you’re all close?”
“Very.” Even at my lowest during my addiction, I never missed a family event. I might have been high, but I was physically there.
“I love that.”
“Do you have siblings?”
“No. It’s just my mom and grandma in our family.”
I want to ask more, but we pull up to the hotel too soon. Thankfully, no one is around, so it’s an easy and relaxed walk through the lobby and to the elevator. The ride up to our floor is quiet while she taps out another text on her phone. Her lips press into a straight line as she frowns.
What is it about her that makes me want to know everything? I’m thirsty for knowledge about her, her life. Who is making her frown when she should only be smiling?
She tells Dan goodnight as he walks off in the opposite direction. Adam follows me down to my suite, and after he disappears inside, I call down the hall to her.
“I’ll be up all night if you decide you need a distraction.”
She stops with her door open. “I thought you wanted to body double?” She smirks down the hall at me.
Damn, she looks so fucking hot with that taunting smile on her face.
“Sweetheart, I’ll do anything you want me to.”
She shakes her head and disappears inside her room with a smile on her face. I’m glad I could put it there. It’s official. I’m obsessed with the woman.
The only thing that gives me any pause is when I remember Darren suggesting I take her out and be seen with her. I don’t want him to think I’m using her in the way he suggested. I would never. Especially when I’m actually so attracted to her.
The dichotomy of her being soft spoken and shy but also not afraid to get sassy with me is intoxicating. So much of her remains a mystery to me. Anything she wants to know about me she could easily google, aside from my family. I’m an open book.
Maybe it’s the fact that she seems pretty unaffected by attention and flirting. Is she playing hard to get, or does she really not feel what I do?
No.
There’s no way she doesn’t feel it. I’ve never felt attraction this strong and not had it be reciprocated. How do I convince her to explore it with me?
“Are you okay?” Adam asks with an arched brow.
“Yeah, why?”
“You’ve been staring at the closed door for five minutes.”
I blink. “Do you think she’s into me?”
“Hazel?”
I nod.
“I don’t know. She’s a tough nut to crack. I saw the name of the guy she was texting, Greg something. She seemed pretty irritated by the exchange, so I’m not sure if it’s a boyfriend or not.”
“He’s not. She said she doesn’t have one, just a situationship.”
He flips open his paperback. “If she’s not taken, I say go for it. She’s not a groupie, which would be a great change of pace for you.”