Chapter 17
Seventeen
HAZEL
Jade texted me this morning to let me know that she’d be coming with me to sign stock at some of the local chain bookstores today.
It’s not a meet and greet signing, but it’s still nice to know I'll have company coming with me.
Especially when I know that person will be able to capture a lot of great videos and pictures for me to use on my socials.
I used her content from the Toronto signing to make several videos that went viral on multiple platforms, and Sierra reached out to let me know that the publisher noticed a spike and was pleased with the performance of my book.
I considered sending my work on book two to my editor for a check in, but after getting Greg’s feedback, I don’t even know if I should continue with where I was going. He was brutal. I understand why, he wants me to be successful, but fuck, he could have been a little more gentle about it.
I honestly don’t know what to say to him, so I haven’t even responded to his email yet. I can’t tell my family or Sierra. They’d just cite it as another example of why I need to cut the cord with him. But I can’t do that. He’s important to me, in so many ways more than a fuck buddy or mentor.
Plus I’d never forgive myself if I burned this bridge and then everything he said turned out to be true. Maybe the tropes I’m leaning into are trite and uninspired. My voice might very well be commercial and boring now.
Maybe I am a sell out.
My phone vibrates on the bedside table across the room from where I’m curled on the small loveseat. I stand to go check it.
Stone: Have dinner with me tonight
Me: Is that a question or demand?
Stone: It’s whatever it needs to be to get you to have dinner with me
Me: What time and where?
Stone: Come to my room at 7
Me: Okay
My stomach swoops. Is this just a friendly meal or a date? I can’t really tell, I mean I know he’s attracted to me, but I’ve seen the type of women he’s usually spotted with. Glamorous models and actresses. Not emotionally damaged writers.
I hear a knock at my door and find Jade on the other side, Dan standing against the wall on the other side of the hall.
“Ready to go?”
“Yeah. Let me grab my purse real quick.”
We chat a bit on the elevator ride down to the lobby.
I ask her about sound check, which she says went really well.
She mentions that the guys always have their best performances when they have sound check the day before instead of squeezing everything into the day of the concert, which makes sense.
“Do you want to grab dinner together after this?” she asks as she closes the car door.
“I can’t tonight. I’m actually having dinner with Stone.”
Jade’s lips lift in a slow smile. “Really?”
“Yeah, I don’t think it’s a date or anything like that.” My cheeks flush and I look away from her. “Don’t look at me like that.”
“Oh, it’s definitely a date. I can count on one hand how many women he’s asked to dine with him during a tour.” She holds up one finger. “You.”
“Really?” My eyes widen as they meet hers.
“Really really. He likes you,” she singsongs then taps Dan on the shoulder. “Am I right?”
He looks back at me and gives me a grin. “She’s right.”
“How long have you been on the security team?” I ask him.
“Six years. Definitely long enough to know all three of the guys. He is very different with you.”
The soft leather of the seat cradles me as I sink into contemplation. He does make me feel seen. Even more importantly, he makes me feel safe.
Last night, for example, showing him one of my scars was a huge step.
I’ve never even shown Greg. He asked me about the long sleeves early on, but once I told him why I wear them, he never asked again.
I used to think that was a sign of him respecting my boundaries, but now I wonder if it’s indifference.
Regardless, now isn’t the time to be thinking about this because I’m so hurt from the email he sent. Whether or not he had good points, he was borderline cruel in his delivery. I want him to be proud of me. The thought of letting him down makes me sick to my stomach.
As the SUV pulls up to the first bookstore, I push my worries to the back of my mind. For now I just need to focus on signing as many copies of my books as I can and doing a little interview for the store to post to social media.
My hand aches by the time I’m done signing at the third bookstore, and I feel like we’ve driven all over Detroit.
Meeting readers is amazing, and I’m so grateful to have the opportunity to even be on a book tour, but as someone who isn’t an extrovert, it’s mentally taxing.
Being able to just answer a few questions and film a video or two at each store has been a great refresh for me.
“Do you know what you’re doing tonight?” Jade asks as we settle in for the ride back to the hotel.
“No. I should probably ask him so I know what to wear.”
“Let me, so it can stay a surprise.” She pulls out her phone and sends a text.
“I really appreciate you coming today. Especially for taking videos and photos for me the whole day. All of my socials are doing so well now because of your help.”
She waves me off. “Don’t even mention it. You’re infinitely easier to work with than the guys.”
“Speaking of the band.” I lower my voice. “What’s up with you and Xander? I feel like you argue all the time.”
“We do. We always have.” She looks out the window for a moment. “Our relationship has been tense since we were teenagers.” She looks down as her phone lights up with a text alert. “Stone said he’s taking you somewhere very casual and that you don’t need to dress up at all.”
“Okay. I like casual.”
With that pressure off I sink back into the seat and let my muscles relax. No thinking about work, or the book. I’m just going to focus on the fact that I’m on a date with a rock star.
Stone’s stunning blue eyes rake over my body when I take his offered hand to get out of the car.
We’re standing in front of a diner that looks as though it hasn’t changed since the 1950s when it probably opened.
As soon as he opens the door, the scent of grilled onions and fried food fills my nostrils.
No one looks up as we walk up to the host, in fact, he doesn’t even do a double take, just grabs two menus for us like we’re just a normal couple.
Stone keeps his hat down low until he sits with his back to the restaurant as we slide into a corner booth.
Dan and Adam take a table that conveniently blocks us from view for the most part.
I take a sticky, laminated menu from Stone and look through the offerings. After a few minutes I look up to find him watching me without a menu in his hands. When I look at him quizzically, he just smiles at me.
“Are you not getting anything?”
“I always get the same thing at every diner.”
“Really?”
“Yep.” He drums his fingers on the table to the beat of the song coming through the speakers. “Burger, fries, chocolate milkshake, and a slice of pie.”
“A milkshake and pie?”
“Life is for living, little Archer. Eat all the dessert you want.”
Before I respond our server comes by. This time we’re not so lucky, and she recognizes him right away. Her eyes widen comically, and she drops her pen before she even utters a word.
“Hi there,” Stone glances at her name tag, “Anna. I’m taking this beautiful lady out for a relaxed dinner tonight. Do you think you could keep our presence here low key? My bodyguard has two tickets to tomorrow night’s show as a thank you.”
“Yes.” She nods. “Absolutely. But I love you. Your music I mean. You’re great, too, though.”
I can’t stop the smile from blooming across my face at the interaction. He’s so gentle and polite in the face of her excitement. He’s a good man. I’ve known it from the moment he interrupted my interview, but seeing this, his kindness directed at someone else, it’s so incredibly attractive.
He orders his food, and then I follow, ordering almost the same thing except with a Diet Coke instead of a milkshake.
As soon as we’re alone again, he throws his arm over the back of the booth and stretches his legs out, intertwining one of them with mine.
The heat of his leg seeps into my skin, even with the denim barrier of his jeans between us.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“I like touching you.”
I lose the battle and smile at him. Fuck if that response doesn’t have me giddy like a teenager with her first crush. By the grin he gives right back, I know he knows it, too.
The conversation ebbs and flows through a myriad of topics as the meal progresses.
Everything from having creative control of our intellectual property to favorite television shows.
I’m shocked to learn that Stone is a reality TV junkie, everything from Survivor to Real Housewives to Love Island.
He, on the other hand, is completely unsurprised that I loved period dramas with a heavy romance plot.
“You said your father has two other kids last night. Do you have a relationship with them?” he asks, changing the subject from light to heavy over two slices of pie.
“I don’t, but I wish I did. I don’t care to know my father, but I’d like to know them. The only information I have about them are their ages and names. Sara, who is twenty, and Nate, who is seventeen.”
“Wait.” He does the math in his head. “If they’re so close in age to you that would mean your dad had a years-long affair.”
I smile bitterly. “Bingo. He traveled back and forth between New York and Chicago for work my entire life.”
“Fuck.” Stone reaches across the table and covers my hand with his. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine.” I wave my hand dismissively. “I don’t miss him. I don’t even know if my brother and sister know about me.”
“We’ll be in Chicago for four days, have you thought about reaching out?”
“Yes. Part of me wants to show up on their front porch just to be petty. So my dad can see what I’ve made of myself.”
“I sense a but coming.”
That earns him a smile. “I don’t know if it would be worth it. There’s a very real possibility he knows about my success and doesn’t care. I can’t think of anything that would hurt more than his indifference.”
He nods understandingly. “I’m sorry.”
I shrug and push a pile of whipped cream around on my plate. “Not your fault.”
“I know.” He leans to the side and pulls out his wallet.
After dropping several one hundred dollar bills on the table and then Adam and Dan’s, he offers me his hand.
“I don’t have anything else planned tonight, but I’m not ready for it to end.
When we get back to the hotel, will you join me in my room? ”
As soon as I say yes, the tension between us thickens.
At every point where he could touch me, he does.
On the ride back he sets his palm on my thigh, his callouses rough against my soft, bare skin.
Heat pools between my thighs as his fingertips begin to move in slow circles, barely brushing under the hem of my shorts.
“What are you thinking?” I ask, surprising myself.
He gives me a wicked smile and then leans over to whisper his response. “About how I can’t wait to have these wrapped around my head while I make you scream for me.”
Heat blooms across my cheeks, and I fight the urge to fan myself. We don’t speak for the rest of the ride back to the hotel, but desire pulses hot through my veins with every step closer we take to his suite.
I’m about to fuck a rock star. As the elevator takes us up to the penthouse level, I search my psyche for any sign of sanity. There’s not a morsel to be found. I’m more than ready to throw myself into his bed.
As soon as the door to his suite closes behind us, he’s on me. He presses my back to the wall as his lips cover mine. My toes curl as his fingers thread through my hair, pulling me back so he has deeper access to my mouth.
“I’ve been thinking about these lips all fucking day,” he says against my mouth. “How soft and perfect they are against mine. Everything about you is so soft and warm and perfect.”
My fingers grab the hem of his shirt and lift it, so I can run my fingers over the lean muscle hidden away. Sensing what I want, he reaches behind his neck and breaks our kiss just long enough to rip the fabric over his head before discarding it beside us.
I gasp when he wraps his hands around the backs of my thighs and lifts me off the floor. “Your back,” I protest against his lips.
“I’m fine.” He carries me to his room, kicking the door shut with his foot.
I slide down his body until my feet hit the floor. The urge to drop all the way to my knees and wrap my mouth around his cock is so strong, I’m not sure how I manage to stay upright.
My fingers do, however, find their way to the waistband of his jeans, unbuttoning and then unzipping them, so I can slide my hand inside and rub my palm over his erection. He hisses when I make contact with his hot, velvety length. Wrapping my fist around him, I give him a few slow pumps.
“Fuck, baby.” His forehead falls to mine. “That feels so damn good.”
I squeeze the tip, loving the way he jumps and twitches in my palm. Slickness covers my hand as pre-cum beads on his tip. Never in my life have I wanted the taste of someone’s arousal on my tongue as much as I want his. I start to sink to my knees, but he stops me.
“Oh, no. Tonight isn’t about me. It’s about you. Can I take these off?” He hooks his fingers in my waistband.
“Yes,” I answer in a breathy whisper.
He makes quick work of the shorts, letting them drop to my feet, so I can step out of them. “What about this?” He fingers the hem of my shirt. “When I fuck you, I want all of you. No barriers. I need every single inch open to my worship.”
I freeze at the thought of him seeing me without a shirt.
He’ll see my other scars. Or if he can’t see them, he’ll feel them.
For a brief moment I’m ready to say no. But then my eyes meet his, and I see something I’ve never seen from anyone.
Acceptance and understanding, along with a very deep, very obvious, desire.
He wants this.
He wants me.
Who am I to deny him?