Chapter 19
Nineteen
HAZEL
“You did what?” Sierra screeches into the phone. “Actually, you did who is more appropriate in this situation. Regardless. Holy. Fucking. Shit.”
“I know,” I whisper even though I’m back in my room.
“Are you still in his room?”
“No.” I force myself to speak up. “I’m back in mine. I just can’t believe it happened.”
“Was it good? Or was it disappointing? I always thought athletes would be amazing lays, but then I matched that basketball player on Raya, and he was the worst. Maybe it’s a fame thing and it makes them lazy.”
“Stone is definitely not lazy. I came. Multiple times.”
“So he’s better than Greg.” I can hear the satisfaction in her voice.
“Everyone’s different.” I don’t know why I continue to defend him. “I took off all my clothes.”
Stunned silence greets me on the other end of the line. “Oh, honey.” I swear her voice quivers. “That’s huge. Does he know how big of a step that was?”
“Yeah. I told him about my father and then the suicide attempts. He’s been amazing.”
She sniffs.
“Are you crying?”
“No.” She’s definitely crying. “It’s just so huge for you. Being open and vulnerable is such a big step.”
“It is. Somehow he just makes me feel safe. And seen.” Part of me wants to fight this feeling though, because it can’t last. I’m probably just some flavor of the week for him. “I’m going to enjoy it while it lasts.”
“Good. You deserve all the orgasms and princess treatment.”
I steer the conversation in the direction of work and fill her in on the bookstore visits I did yesterday. We’ve decided to add more visits like them into my schedule because it’s great PR and doesn’t drain me like meet and greet signings.
After we get off the phone, I check in with Mom and Grams. I miss them both more acutely every day that I’m away from them. At some point I might have to fly home for a couple days to see them. It was wild for me to think I’d be okay being away from them for this long.
Once I’ve spent enough time procrastinating, I sit down at the desk determined to knock out a chapter before tonight. The words flow from me like a dam burst in my brain. I work through lunch without realizing it. It’s not until I stand up to stretch that I notice the time.
I have twenty minutes to get ready for the concert.
A glance in the mirror gives me the confidence to go with just the barest hint of makeup today. Not for the first time I find myself thanking whatever deity listens for a best friend who knows fashion and is happy to help me pick and choose clothes that work together.
I open the door just as Dan raises his fist to knock. He smiles and steps back so I can exit. Down the hall I hear Stone’s door open and see him walk through it carrying his guitar. His lips quirk upwards when he sees me.
Butterflies take flight in my stomach as he walks toward me. We didn’t discuss how we’d act around each other, and even though it’s just Dan and Adam around us currently, I don’t want to overstep.
He puts those thoughts to rest when he sets down the case and immediately brings both of his hands to my face. I smile back at him as he tilts his head and takes my lips with his own. As soon as his tongue slides inside my mouth, I forget all about the two men standing in the hall with us.
He licks into my mouth like he wants my taste on his tongue all night. I lean into him, letting my hands travel up and down his sculpted torso. We’re so tangled up together that I don’t even hear anyone else approach until a throat clears.
“Jesus Christ, get a room,” Xander says, but there’s humor in his voice as we end the kiss.
“Fuck you,” Stone says with no heat.
“Don’t threaten me with a good time.” His eyes rake over me. “Let me know if you want to try the two-for-one special sometime.”
My cheeks heat as I flush a deep pink. It’s not all from embarrassment, though. I can’t imagine what it would be like to be with two normal men at once, let alone these two larger than life rock stars.
“I’m not sharing her.” Stone picks up his guitar and wraps his arm around my waist. “Are you going to watch from backstage tonight?”
The look in his eyes as he waits for my answer makes anxiety swim in my stomach.
I’m so embarrassed by how easily I cry at concerts.
I don’t understand it, and as much as I wish it would, it’s not something that seems to be going away.
If anything, the closer I get to the guys, the harder the tears fall.
“I don’t know,” I finally say. “There’s still a few other places I haven’t experienced the show from yet.”
“Okay.” I see the dejection in the way his body shrinks.
Part of me screams to tell him why. I’ve told him so many other things about me, deep things, it shouldn’t matter to share this one stupid thing about me. But I’m frozen, unable to share and explain myself.
Thankfully he doesn’t release his grip on me as we step onto the elevator.
In fact, he pulls me closer as Jade, Darren, and Tobias show up and file in with us.
His hand splays over my belly, a place I usually don’t like to be touched, but something about the way he does it makes me feel protected and cherished.
I really need to get a grip. Cherished? It’s been one night. He’s probably staking some sort of claim, as if anyone else would want me. There’s just an odd chemistry between us. Now that we’ve fucked it’ll probably start to fizzle away.
How could I keep his attention when there are hundreds of beautiful women throwing themselves at him every night?
Jade does a double take when she sees his hand placement. Her amused eyes lift to mine, and she gives me a wide smile. I return it and melt back against Stone’s chest when he relaxes against me. Even if this is just a fleeting thing between us, I’m going to enjoy every second I have of it.
Stone convinced me to stay with him right up until he left to go meet up with guys and do their pre-show routine. That’s when I slipped away with my always present shadow trailing me. I cut through a raucous crowd, cowering into Dan’s bear like presence for safety.
The vibes from this crowd tonight are different from all the others I’ve experienced.
It’s edgier. There’s an undercurrent of mayhem buzzing through the walls of the venue.
I try to convince myself it’s just in my head.
I’m projecting my own tumultuous thoughts from earlier onto the people around me because so many of them are drunk and unruly.
Dan looks the same as always. Dark brown eyes scanning the crowd from where he towers over most of them at well over six feet tall. Honestly if we painted him green, he could be a stand in for The Hulk.
I find myself leading us toward the front rows of the venue, security does a double look at our lanyards and allows us through. I’ve yet to be down on the floor for a show, and I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity.
The crowd thickens the closer we get to the stage. I keep to the side, even though I’m sure being near the speakers like this is going to kill my hearing for a few days. At least I’ll have a good view as it goes.
The intro video flashes onto every screen in the building, B-roll film of the guys flicking quickly with each of their voices cut to say different parts of the welcoming message. The lights go out, and the crowd goes absolutely nuts.
Goosebumps erupt all over my body as one by one the guys are spotlighted. Then they launch into their very first number one song from their debut album.
Sure enough, my tears begin to fall with the opening bars. Even though this is my first time watching from a place around so many other people, not one person notices. I watch in awe as Xan and Stone work the crowd with cocky smiles and expert moves on stage.
Dan hovers at my back, making sure that I’m not injured by anyone around me.
Half an hour into the show, we find ourselves pushed into a tightly crowded area close to the stage.
My eyes widen as someone is shoved into me and I go flying back into Dan’s chest. He holds me upright as the guy who hit me begins to yell and go after whoever shoved him.
I freeze as Dan leans down and whispers that we need to get out of the crowd and pushes me forward toward the barricade. He radios ahead to get the message to stage security that he’s going to send me over to them because there’s too many people crushing in behind us to go that way.
We begin to move forward through the crowd once his message is relayed.
A few people yell curses at us as we weave through.
I spare a cursory look up to the stage and somehow lock eyes with Xander.
His flare when he recognizes me, concern flooding through them as he continues to play, not missing a note.
During one of Tobias’s drum solos, he walks over to Stone, who pulls his in ear monitor out and listens intently. I watch as his veil of cocky, indifferent rock star drops and concern replaces it. Stone scans the crowd quickly, his fingers never missing a beat as he starts playing the next song.
The sound of flesh meeting flesh rings in my ear as a fist rushes just past my ear, landing right over Dan’s chest. He doubles over with a whoosh of breath, and in that split second I’m yanked away. Several men descend on Dan while he’s still struggling to catch his breath from the sucker punch.
My body is pushed back and forth between other bodies, some jostling to get away from the melee and others trying to join in. I feel a sharp crack against my face and realize I’ve just taken an elbow to the cheek, but I’m somehow close to the barricade.
My gaze shoots up to the stage just as the music screeches to a halt, and I hear Stone yelling for the violence to end. His eyes catch mine and widen in horror just as I feel someone push or bump into me from the back.
The last thing I see is Stone pulling his guitar over his head and jumping down into the area in front of the stage.