Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
HAZEL
The email from the private investigator I hired without telling anyone sits at the top of my inbox.
Unopened for weeks but starred so I don’t lose it.
Inside is a full report on my father. Everything from his employer to his home address.
My younger brother and sister’s daily schedules and phone numbers are included as well.
My fingers hover over the touchpad, and I finally dig deep enough to find the courage to open my own personal Pandora’s box. The email opens and listed neatly with bullet points by family member are daily schedules, email addresses, phone numbers, and their home address.
I greedily drink up each bit of information. My half-sister, Sara, will be attending Northwestern in the fall. My half-brother, Nate, will be a junior in high school. My father holds a C-suite position at a financial institution in downtown Chicago.
The photo on the company website is achingly familiar. His blonde hair is cut the same way but is now peppered with gray. The wrinkles at the corners of his eyes when he would smile have deepened. But, otherwise, he’s the exact same as he was when he left us behind.
Included in the email is a folder of images of my siblings. I’ve never seen either of them. Nausea churns in my gut as the cursor hovers over the file. One double click separating me from over a decade of pain and questions.
Now is the only time I’ll have to open these privately before we get to Chicago. Sierra will be here in an hour and then we’re off to my signing event. I have no idea how much longer I have until Stone gets back from sound check.
Digging deep for all the courage I can muster, I click the file and watch as photos open on my screen.
The first photo must be from Sara’s graduation announcement.
She’s thin with long blonde hair, the complete opposite of me except for her eyes.
We have the same swirling gray irises, the only genetic link I have to my father.
A photo of Nate shows he could be Sara’s twin, blond hair which he has styled in the tousled way that younger guys prefer and the same eyes.
My own sting with tears I refuse to let fall. He chose the family that resembled him best to stay with. Was he an active participant in their lives? Do they know I exist? The answer to that question is probably no. I’m sure he never told them.
There are more photos, but I can’t bring myself to open them. I really don’t want to see the woman he chose over my mom. I’ve always had so many questions about her, whether she knew about us and didn’t care or was completely ignorant. I can’t figure out which is worse.
My goal in finding all this information was just to have answers.
I’ve never known if I would actually reach out to them.
But seeing my brother and sister makes me want to.
What if they have no idea I exist but want to form a relationship with me?
It’s not their fault our dad is a piece of shit who left my mother and I behind like forgotten garbage.
I close my laptop when I hear the door open. Stone walks in and sets down his guitar case, smiling as soon as we lock eyes. He’s so stupidly handsome I can’t even form thoughts as he prowls toward me. Those deep blue eyes of his look from me to my laptop and back to me.
“Why’d you close it so quickly when I came in the room?” he asks with a grin. “Writing some naughty scenes?”
I laugh. “No. I’m only twenty-five thousand words into the manuscript. It’s too soon for sex.”
He stops misstep, looking purely shocked. “It’s never too soon for sex.”
“It definitely can be too soon for sex.”
“I knew I wanted you from the moment I walked into that studio and saw you going up against O’Malley. I would have bent you over the couch right then and there.”
“Yeah, well, you’re a ho.”
He throws his head back with laughter. “And you reap the benefits of it,” he says once the laughter fades.
“I’m definitely not complaining.” I hold my hands up.
He leans down, palming my face between his calloused hands, and kisses me. It’s a deep, thorough reminder of why I’ve been so happy lately. His attention soothes the hurt of seeing my dad for the first time in years.
“So tell me what you were doing that you didn’t want me to see,” he says when we break apart.
I look up into his eyes and dig deep for my courage. Once I find it I open and unlock my computer.
“When I realized I’d be in Chicago for a week, I hired a private investigator to look into finding my father and half-siblings. I just finally dug up the nerve to open what he sent me.”
“May I?” Stone asks before looking.
“Yeah.”
He turns the laptop toward himself and scans the text. I watch his face as he reads through everything, a muscle in his jaw feathering at something he sees. He must have opened the file with photos of my dad because he keeps looking from me to the screen as if comparing what he sees.
“You must look like your mom because the only resemblance I see are your eyes,” he finally says. “Why did you get all this information? Are you planning on reaching out to him?”
“I don’t really know. I’d like to meet my siblings, but I’m not sure if I want to see him. The words he left me with kind of did a number on me. Does he deserve a second chance to hurt me?”
“He absolutely does not. But you deserve to know your siblings. I can’t imagine life without mine.”
I nod and look away. This topic of conversation is too heavy. He closes my laptop and spins it back to me.
“Whatever you decide, I’ll be right here for you.”
Maybe I’m delusional, but it really feels like he means that. I wish I could spend the rest of the day napping in his arms, but when I glance at the clock, I see that it’s time to start getting ready for my signing tonight.
“I’m going to go take a shower,” I say as I stand up.
His smile is quick and devious as he stands and pulls his shirt over his head. “I’ll join you.”
Adam and Dan meet us in the hall as we walk out of the hotel room. Stone is resting his voice but wanted to come along with Sierra, Jade, and me. He’s quickly become almost a security blanket for me, so I would never say no.
What does send me for a loop is when I see Xander and Tobias with their security wandering down the hall toward our group. I look over at Jade in surprise and see her eyes narrow at the pair of rock stars coming our way.
“I’ll be down in a minute,” she says over her shoulder as she walks down to meet them halfway.
“Do you know what that’s about?” I ask Stone as the elevator doors open and we step inside.
He answers with a shake of his head and shrugs his shoulders.
“I think they’re planning on coming along,” Adam says. “Hans mentioned it to me earlier.”
Hans is Xander’s huge bodyguard. I’ve only interacted with him a few times, but he’s always been kind. I don’t know where this bookstore is going to hide an entire rock band and their looming security.
Stone slips his hand around mine and squeezes. I look up at him and can tell he’s asking wordlessly if I’m okay with them coming. If I wanted him to stop them, he absolutely would. But I’m okay with it, even if it means heightened scrutiny. Along with the band comes more security.
Sure enough as we all pile into the SUV to wait for Jade, there’s another one parked right behind us. She emerges a few steps in front of Tobias and Xander with a stressed out look on her face. Dan opens the door for her, and she slides onto the empty seat we left her.
“They want to come along.” She turns to look at me. “If you want to tell them no, you can. I could even lie and say the store will already be at maximum capacity.”
“I didn’t even think about that.” I glance at Sierra. “Is it sold out?”
“All your signings are sold out, babe. You’re the hottest ticket in town.” She winks at Stone playfully. “No offense.”
He gives her a smile with a wave of his hand, completely unbothered. If anything, he almost looks proud.
“I’ll ask the manager, though, just in case.” Sierra pulls out her phone.
“Seriously, though,” Jade says, “I can tell them to fuck off.”
Stone presses his lips together and chuckles.
She reaches over and gives him a light push. “I can tell you the same thing. Maybe we don’t want to babysit your overgrown manchild asses.”
“The manager says it’ll be fine.” Sierra sets her phone back down in her lap. “There’s a second story balcony to the store she can set them in where they can watch from above without anyone seeing them if they want.”
“Perfect. They’ll do that.”
The store is tucked away in a quaint little part of the city with tree-lined streets and lots of small businesses.
As there has been at every stop on the tour, there’s a line stretching out in front of the building that snakes down the sidewalk and around the block.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing that many people come out just to hear me talk or read a passage from my book.
It’s absolutely surreal.
The SUVs pull up to a discretely marked door behind the store. Both Adam and Dan position themselves on either side of the vehicle door we’ll use to exit. There’s no one around except us, but they still scan the area like they’re expecting an onslaught of paparazzi or something.
Unsurprisingly nothing happens though, so we walk into the store quickly and with zero issues.
The manager directs the guys to a side staircase. They ascend, their heavy footsteps echoing through the otherwise quiet space.
“Christ. They sound like a herd of elephants,” Jade mumbles.
I give Dan and Adam a wry smile because they really do. “Are you two staying down here?”
“Yes. You’re the priority,” Dan tells me.
“Stone told me the same thing.” Adam glances up at where the three of them look down at us. “They’re all contained up there, anyway. I’m not concerned.”
Just then the manager comes over, pulling my attention away.
She walks me through the event and gives me a rundown on how many attendees they’re expecting.
Apparently there were one hundred tickets, and they sold within five minutes of the announcement.
I blink, shocked, at that news. Sold out in five minutes? Just to see me?
I’m once again overwhelmed by gratitude. How can this even be real life? Months ago I was just a poor grad student living with her mom. Now I’m here. Signing books and meeting people who occasionally cry just because they’re in proximity to me.
The store manager gives me a heads up that she’s opening the doors while I wait back in the stacks of books.
I pick up a romantasy that I’ve seen all over social media while I wait for everyone to take their seats.
The synopsis is interesting, and the cover is stunning.
I might have to pick this up at the end of the night.
“That looks interesting,” Sierra picks up another copy of the same book and flips to read the last page.
“Stop that.” I pluck the book from her hand. “I can’t believe you’re still reading the last page first.”
“I need spoilers. My anxiety can’t handle not knowing.”
The argument is forgotten when the store manager announces the doors are opening.
We continue to hide in the back of the store while people file in.
This will be one of the biggest crowds I’ll have been in front of yet, so I focus on deep, calming breaths.
Sierra reaches down and gives my hand a quick, reassuring squeeze.
I step out of my hiding place and onto the small platform where two seats are placed.
The moderator shakes my hand, and we both take our seats.
While she gives a brief introduction, I look up into the balcony above me to find three sets of eyes looking down on me.
But the only ones I focus on are Stone’s deep blues.
He watches me with such adoration it soothes my usual anxiety at being so exposed. His attention drapes over me like a warm blanket. It’s my own personal armor and boosts my confidence. I feel invincible.
The moderator is incredible, and our conversation flows so easily, I’m surprised when the conversation comes to a close, so I can answer a few questions. Even the audience is amazing, their questions are so insightful that I have to dig deep to think about how to answer.
“That was amazing.” Sierra hands me a paper bag with the store’s logo on it as we wait at the bottom of the stairs for the guys to come down at the end of the night.
“Truly. The crowd was incredible. I think that was my best night of the tour so far.”
“I completely agree.”
I peek in the bag as Jade joins us. She has a bag in her hands as well. Inside mine is the book that both Sierra and I were looking at earlier.
“Thank you,” I tell her. “Did you get a copy, too?”
“I purchased the ebook, so I can read it on my phone on the flight home.”
Two arms wrap around me from behind, enveloping me in Stone’s amber and leather scent. He presses his lips to my temple, and I lean into him, gripping his forearms in my hands.
“That was so great,” he says against my skin.
“Yeah,” Tobias agrees. “I didn’t think I’d be so entertained at a book signing.”
“The crowd was amazing,” Xan adds. “They asked questions I would have never thought of.”
“As if that’s a challenge.” Jade’s barb lands, and I see a quick flash of hurt in his eyes.
“What did you get?” Tobias points at Jade’s bag.
“Nothing.” She holds the bag closer to her body and turns away. “Should we go out for dinner since we’re all here?”
“Darren’s not here,” Tobias points out. “I can call him if we choose a place now.”
After a short conversation and a recommendation from the store manager, we pick a restaurant and Tobias sends an invite to Darren.
Dan and Adam go out the back door first, ensuring that there’s no one waiting to surprise us back there.
Once they give the all clear we head out and climb into our respective vehicles.