Chapter 27
Twenty-Seven
HAZEL
All of the hotels we’ve stayed at have been beautiful, but they have nothing on the one we’ll call home for the week in Chicago.
The suite we have is at the corner of the building which gives us views of the city to the north and the lake to the east. With the floor to ceiling windows, it almost feels like we’re floating above the city in some futuristic sci-fi movie.
Stone has been as attentive as ever and even more protective now that we’ve been publicly linked.
I thought having Dan with me everywhere I go was good enough protection, but he’s assigned me another detail just in case when I’m out in public alone.
The band has interviews all day today that will run late into the evening.
I’ve decided to take advantage of that and go see my father.
Knocking on their door during peak dinner hours is probably not the best way to approach them, but it’s the best time to possibly see him.
And, to be fair, I’m not too worried about pulling him away from his meal for a few minutes, all things considered.
My knee bounces as the driver winds through the tree-lined suburban streets. The homes are large but set on small lots. People pushing strollers or walking dogs dot the sidewalks, sometimes stopping to speak to each other. It looks idyllic. The type of neighborhood they used to set sitcoms in.
The house numbers climb until we’re right in front of my father’s home. Warm light filters through the blinds from windows on the main level. The front steps are lined with white pots full of flowers in all shades of yellow and purple.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to go up with you?” Dan turns around from the passenger seat and looks at me.
“Yeah.” I pull my eyes from the house to him. “I honestly have no idea how he’ll respond to me being here. Having a giant at my back might throw him off even more.”
He nods. “I’ll keep an eye on you. Text me if you need anything.”
“I will.”
After a deep breath I open the door and step out into the humid, evening air. The cloying scent of the flowers wafts around me in the stagnant air, but I keep pushing. One foot after another until I’m crossing the wooden porch and lifting my hand to knock.
I nearly jump out of my skin when the door swings open. A torrent of emotions floods me as my gaze locks on a face I haven’t seen in over a decade but is still so familiar to me I could describe it with my eyes closed.
“Hi, Dad.” The words are nothing but a whisper as they pass my lips.
“Hazel.” His achingly familiar gray eyes widen as he steps out onto the porch, gently closing the door behind him. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m in Chicago on business. I thought I would stop by and say hello.”
I can already tell he’s not happy to see me. At least he recognizes me. He must not have completely erased me from his mind. His eyes roam all over me, my face, my hair, but he remains quiet.
“It’s not a good time,” he finally says. “We’re about to sit down for dinner.”
“I figured.”
Just as he opens his mouth to speak, the door opens behind him, and I see Sara in person for the first time. She flashes me a friendly smile but halts. “Dinner’s ready, Dad.”
It’s jarring to hear her call him that.
She starts to go inside but stops and turns back to me. “I’m sorry, this is going to sound crazy, but do I know you? You look so familiar.”
I glance quickly at my father. That answers that question. She doesn’t know about me. I’ve thought about this moment so many times, whether I’d blow up his lies and life or just take it. Like I take everything else.
“I hear that a lot. Just one of those faces, I guess.”
“Tell your mom I’ll be right there.”
“Oh.” Her brow furrows. “Alright.” She disappears back into the house.
Dad looks at me like a puzzle he can’t figure out. A mild inconvenience he needs to brush off as soon as possible. “Do you need money or something?”
“What?” I scoff. “I don’t need money.”
The door opens behind him again, this time it’s a woman I’ve never seen.
She must be his wife, the woman I refused to look at.
She’s beautiful, in a generic sort of way.
Blonde hair cut into a bob, hazel eyes, and tall with a willowy figure.
Basically the exact opposite of my mother.
Her eyes flare in surprise when she sees me, immediate recognition showing in them.
“Oh. Goodness.” She steps forward. “Hazel?—”
Dad thrusts his hand out in front of her. “I’ll be in momentarily.”
She presses her lips together in annoyance but meets my eyes once more with a slight nod.
He waits until she closes the door behind him. “You need to leave.”
“I want to know my siblings.”
“No.”
“Do they even know I exist?”
“No.”
Tears burn at the back of my eyes. He’s still an absolute asshole. Any naive hope I held onto that maybe he regretted his choices evaporates into the sweltering midwest heat.
“You’re an awful human being,” I tell him as I turn to go back to the car.
“This was always your choice.”
I pivot right back around. “I was a child,” I tap my chest for emphasis. “You cheated on my mother, your wife. You can tell yourself whatever lies you want, but I know the truth, and they deserve to know they have an older half sister you’ve kept secret.”
“Stay away from my children, Hazel.”
“Fuck you,” I say over my shoulder as I walk to where Dan jumps out of the SUV and holds my door open, climbing in the backseat behind me.
I keep my attention on the tinted glass to my left as I fight back my tears with all that I have.
I’ve given him too many over the years to waste them now.
My gut said not to do this, that I’d just end up hurt and rejected again.
The first tear finally falls, burning down my skin as I angrily swipe it away.
Dan places a small pack of tissues on my thigh but remains quiet for the rest of the drive back to the hotel.
The suite is silent when I get back. Stone’s absence feels like a yawning chasm in the space he usually fills.
I drop my purse on the table and cross the living room to the second bedroom we’ve left empty.
Not bothering to close the blinds, I strip down to my shirt and panties before crawling under the covers.
The light fades as I lie there alternating between anger and hollow sadness. Normally when I feel like this, I’d talk to Mom. That’s out of the question. The last thing I want to do is hurt her, which knowing I went to see him would do.
The sky is dark by the time I hear the door to the suite open.
Stone calls out my name, but I can’t summon the energy to call out.
I hear him walk into the bedroom we use, the sound of light switches flipping on and then off.
His heavy footsteps cross the living area and come toward the room I’m in.
“Hazel?” he whispers, obviously unsure if I’m asleep.
“Hey,” I reply without looking over my shoulder at him.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, too afraid to speak and start crying again.
He climbs onto the bed behind me, snaking one arm under the pillow beneath my head and wrapping the other around my waist. “I’m here when you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere.”
I roll over into his embrace, letting the tears fall and soak into the cotton of his shirt.
His lips ghost over my forehead as his arms flex around me.
Laying here in his arms feels like the safest place to land after the turbulent emotions of the day.
He stays true to his word, just remaining a silent source of comfort for me.
Once I’ve cried out all my tears, I ease away far enough to speak.
“I went to see my father today.”
He goes completely still. “I see.” With a sigh he tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. “I assume it didn’t go well?”
I chuckle bitterly. “That would be putting it mildly.”
“I’m sorry, baby.”
“I saw my sister.” I look up into his eyes. “She was beautiful and seemed kind. Looked a lot like his wife.”
“Did you meet her, too?”
“No. Not really.” I roll onto my back, looking up at the ceiling. “She came out and knew who I was as soon as she saw me. Called me by name, but he told her to go back in the house.”
“He didn’t even invite you inside the door?” Stone’s voice is incredulous.
“Nope. They were sitting down to eat dinner, which I figured they would be.”
“Best time to pin him down.”
“Yeah.”
“What were you going to do if he wasn’t there?”
“I honestly hadn’t thought that far ahead.”
“I would have gone with you.”
“I know you would have. But I feel like it had to just be me. Like I needed to see for myself how he would respond if I was alone. He may have recognized you if you had come.”
“Yeah, but I could have stayed in the car.”
“Dan was in the car.”
He drags in a breath. “That’s good.”
“What was that?”
“What do you mean?”
“The deep inhale through your teeth.”
“I was drawing oxygen into my lungs. Some would call it breathing.”
“No, there was more to it than that.” I sit up. “Spill.”
“I’m jealous,” he mumbles.
“What?” I kick off the covers and climb on top of him.
“I said I’m jealous.”
“Of who?” I blink down at him, entirely confused.
“Dan.”
“Because he watched me fight back tears for forty minutes on the ride back? That he got to see me utterly humiliated and rejected by my own father?”
“That you trusted him enough to go with you but not me.”
“I wasn’t aware I had a choice about bringing him everywhere I go.”
“You don’t.”
I laugh incredulously. “So then why are you jealous?”
“It’s a bit irrational.”
“You think?”
His hands move up my thighs. “Just panties, huh?”
“Yep. Wanna distract me?”
“Hell yeah.” He flips me onto my back and does just that for the rest of the night.
Sierra and I sit side by side in the lobby cafe sipping vanilla lattes and going over the two signings I’m doing this weekend.
The first is at a cute romance only bookstore, and the second is at a large chain location off Michigan Avenue.
I’m obviously more excited about the former, not that I don’t enjoy all the signings.
There’s just something about being in a bookstore surrounded by love stories that feels so special.
“How’s the new book coming along?” Sierra asks before lifting a cinnamon crumble muffin to her lips.
“Good. I’ve hit a good stride with the story and everything is flowing well. All the characters are behaving.”
She chuckles. “That’s great. When do you think you’ll have the first draft ready to send to your editor?”
“I should be ready by the time we hit Seattle.”
“Really? That soon?”
“Yeah. I’m at seventy-five thousand words as of this morning.”
She doesn’t need to know that much of my productivity the past couple days has been due to the need to escape my thoughts.
I declined sex with Stone for the first time last night because I was so focused.
It felt like a big step. I’m not usually one to say no, too afraid that whoever I was with at the time would leave me or become angry.
Stone didn’t do anything of the sort. He smiled, kissed my forehead, and went down the hall to play video games with Xander. I know he and I aren’t in a relationship or anything, but, for some reason, turning him down and being met with respect like that made it feel like we could be.
“Incredible. Maybe this tour was actually a stroke of genius.”
“Maybe.” I’m certainly enjoying it.
“Everything still good with Blue Sunday and a certain frontman?”
“Yes.” A smile creeps across my face. “I couldn’t be more surprised by the way they’ve let me into the group.”
“I’m not. You’re smart and funny. Gorgeous, obviously. Magnetic.”
“Okay, slow your roll before my ego outgrows the booth.”
“No. You deserve to hear all the good things, regardless of how uncomfortable compliments are.”
“I hear plenty of good things right now. The other morning I was out for an early breakfast with Stone, and one of the servers walked up and asked for my autograph. It was the first time that had happened.”
“Babe. You’re legit now. I bet by the time the next book comes out, it’ll happen more and more.”
I loved it, but I’m not sure I’m ready for all my anonymity to be gone. I like walking the streets of New York with no one recognizing me. There’s too much of a hermit inside me to desire true fame.
My phone vibrates on the table with a text from Jade.
Jade: Girls night tonight?
I look up at Sierra. “Jade wants to know if we want a girls night?”
“I’m in.” She sets down her phone. “Can Stone go an evening without you?”
“I’m sure he’ll be fine.”
Me: We’re in
Jade: Perfect.
Me: What are you thinking?
Jade: Pole dancing class
Me: You’re joking, right?
Jade: Make sure you wear heels
“She said we’re taking a pole dancing class,” I say with raised brows.
“Fun,” Sierra says with excitement. “I’ve always wanted to do one of those.”
At the very least it’ll be an experience.