CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Raina
B y the time I push open the door to my apartment at two a.m., my nerves are shot. The buzz of exhaustion claws deep in my bones, but my mind is wired.
I drop my keys in the bowl by the door and shrug out of my leather jacket, the gown left in a ball on Valdrin’s backseat.
Even with so much on my mind about what the hell happened tonight, I rush back to my bedroom to pull out my mother’s letter.
I read it four more times, inspecting every word for a hidden meaning.
Something I missed. I even take it over to the lamp and see if there’s another message indented into the paper.
Nothing.
A knock on the door startles me. I put the letter away and check the time. It’s around the hour when Ruby would be getting home, and crawling here to sleep on my sofa if her father is awake and being an asshole.
Sure enough, big brown eyes stare at me through the peephole.
I open the door and step aside. “Hey, you.”
She floats into my apartment wearing shorts so short that her thong strap shows. Her pierced belly button is on display from her cropped top.
“Where’ve you been?” she asks me with alarm in her voice.
“I, I was with Valdrin.”
“This late?” She folds her arms, her body tense.
“There was an event he wanted me to attend with him. What’s wrong?” I peek out into the hallway and listen for yelling, moaning, loud music, or the sound of dishes breaking.
Nothing. Silence.
“Michael has those guys over again. Smoking weed, watching porn,” she whispers.
My eyes close, and I silently apologize to my mom for always giving her a hard time for just smoking.
“Were you waiting long?” I steer Ruby into the kitchen.
“I did laps on the stairs.” She kicks off her high heels. “My feet are killing me.”
I open the freezer and take out a fifth of vodka. “How was work?”
“The usual,” Ruby speaks to my back. “You’re acting strange. Did something else happen tonight?”
I stiffen, unscrewing the brand-new bottle. My head is spinning about Connor, and it must be radiating off me like sonic waves.
Facing her, I admit, “Yeah. I saw that guy tonight. The one I met a couple of months ago?”
Her eyes light up. “No way.” She plops down at my kitchen table, and I see the young girl who wants to still be a kid and gossip with a bestie.
“Way,” I tease her.
Ruby smirks, giving me a once-over. “And?”
“And he wants to see me again.” I give the best succinct update right now about Connor Quinlan.
Just not that he’s a mob boss. Or that I’m supposed to kill him. My stomach twists whenever that reality crashes through. But I want to see him again. To sleep with him. Not kill him.
Of all the people who could have killed my father, why did it have to be the only man who would get me?
The real me.
“I bet he wants to see you again.” Ruby nudges me with her elbow when I sit next to her. “What’s the problem?”
I hesitate. “I don’t know if I should.”
“Why the hell not?”
Because he killed my father. Because he’s a criminal. And I put criminals in jail.
Hang on. I don’t anymore.
I have to push away how I stood in his torture chamber and felt a wicked connection to him. That place felt something close to home . And that scares the hell out of me.
“Because it’s complicated,” I mutter as a pathetic excuse, regretting that I brought him up.
Then I pour another shot to buy thirty seconds to think.
Ruby snorts. “ Everything with you is complicated. This guy isn’t your boss.” She eyes me, her expression turning softer.
“Thanks for bringing up Meyers,” I say cringing.
“Whoever this one-night stand is, if you want him, just go for it.”
I chew on my lip. “I’ll think about it. I need to shower.” And masturbate. “Are you staying over?”
“If it’s okay?” She grabs an apple from my counter and sits on the sofa alone.
“It’s always okay, Ruby.” I kiss her on the forehead.
Walking to my bedroom, I hear the familiar ton-ton of Netflix and figure she’s good for at least an hour.
Slogging into my bedroom to strip, I stare at myself. I went from princess in a gown to ninja.
I like this version of me better. Something tells me Connor would, too.