CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
Raina
B ack inside Connor’s apartment, he goes to a few places where he keeps packs of cigarettes. He breaks each one in half and throws them away. When he kisses a silver lighter in his hand, and holds it over the trash, I cry out.
“Why did you kiss the lighter?”
His eyes are glassy when he shows it to me. “It was my da’s.”
AQ is engraved in block script on the front. The entire lighter is scratched and dinged. My God, what this thing has been through.
My heart breaks at how much that little token means to Connor. I close it around his hand. “I’m not a monster. You don’t have to throw away your father’s lighter.”
“You sure?” He tightens my hand with his fist.
“I’m very sure.” I even take it from him and put it on his desk next to a framed photo of his dad.
Connor storms up to me, possession in his eyes, and I want to be his new addiction.
Kissing me with fresh breath and no trace of smoke, he picks me up and brings me into his bedroom.
My legs wrap around his waist. “You never tasted like cigarettes.”
“I worked hard at that.” He lays me down on the bed.
Moments later, enough clothes are pushed out of the way, and he’s inside me. After he climaxes, he strips completely and then buries his face between my legs. I lose count of how many times he makes me come.
All I remember is passing out with Connor holding me from behind, whispering how important I am to him.
Hours later, I wake up, startled that it’s dark outside. Wondering if it’s the middle of the night, I check the time.
Eight-thirty p.m.
The apartment is quiet beyond the bedroom, which wasn’t very quiet a few hours ago. The bags from the clothing store sit in front of the closet I hid in the night of the gala. Naked, I pad over and slip into one of the velour tracksuits Connor bought me.
I loosen the wrecked braid and give my hair a good brushing with the hair tools I packed up from my apartment. I frown at the hopeless mess of tangles and bent waves. I just sweep it up and secure it with a jaw clip I keep in my purse.
Looking around the bathroom, I twitch, seeing that Connor has put away my makeup, shampoos, and lotions. They’re each tucked somewhere in a drawer and not just sitting on the counter, like I’m temporary.
I’m falling for the man, but I have to set some boundaries and claim my own space. All thoughts of keeping our shampoo separate empty out of my head when the smell of something savory lingers in the air and finds my hungry stomach.
I shuffle into the kitchen with cautious steps and stop in my tracks, seeing Connor standing at the stove.
Cooking.
He’s stirring something in a skillet like he’s not a murderer with more killers on speed dial. He’s changed into his sweats, but wisely put on a T-shirt.
The warm floorboards beneath my bare feet now make me feel at home here. When they creak behind Connor, the sound turns him around.
Seeing it’s me, he smiles. “Good timing, sleepy slut, who can’t get enough of my cock. Dinner’s almost ready.”
“Sleepy slut?” I laugh. I guess that’s an accurate depiction of me right now. I did sleep for hours, thanks to all the orgasms. I plop down onto what I now consider my stool at the kitchen island. “Did you sleep?”
“No, I did some work.” He spoons whatever the hell is in that pot into two bowls.
“By work, do you mean kill someone in your tunnel?” I’ll have to reconcile that he can make gentle love to me, and then murder a human being ten minutes later.
Bringing the steaming bowls to the countertop, he says, “No. Ending lives and figuring out how to keep you safe from Noel Tahiri isn’t my only job. Griffin and his wife’s brothers are partners in a land deal for the UN. I get reports of people I have to pay visits to.”
“Ah.” I stare down into the bowl and want to cry. It looks so good. “Where did you learn how to make chili?”
“My friend over there.” He points to a video playing on a propped-up iPad.
My throat goes tight when he rounds the island and kisses my forehead. “Let’s be bad and eat in the living room and watch television.”
I lift my bowl and follow him to the sofa. “Sounds gloriously normal.”
And with a torture chamber on the other side of this apartment, that’s saying a lot.
“Anything particular you want to watch?” He grabs the remote, and we browse a streaming service until we agree on a movie.
Pretty quickly, too. Sometimes, Ruby and I would scroll for nearly an hour, finding something to watch that we agreed on.
What am I going to do about Ruby? And why haven’t I heard from Valdrin again? Does he and Noel know I’m with Connor?
Do they not want to challenge Quinlan Empire?
The warm, savory food in my bowl steals my attention, along with the familiar music from a blockbuster action movie that came out a few months ago. “ That one!” I point to the perfect escape from my problems.
Besides sex with Connor.
“If Vin Diesel is in it, I’m watching it,” Connor says, sitting with his feet on the coffee table.
Even his feet are beautiful.
I devour every bite in the bowl but refuse seconds. Connor goes back for a third round, leaving the bowl that’s licked clean in the sink.
I sneak up behind him in the kitchen with my empty bowl, nearly as sparkling. “I’ll wash everything.”
“Not a chance, Venom.” He rinses the pot and puts our bowls in the dishwasher.
“I never lived with a man, Connor,” I confess, wondering how different it is from a quasi-roommate who comes and goes.
“Me neither. A woman. A girlfriend. I’ve only lived with my brothers. Even when we were older.”
That surprises me. “Really? Until how old?”
“A couple of years ago. You’ll see the house on Sunday.
It’s a bit of a mansion. Has separate wings.
We always worked together, but we had our own space in the house.
I never felt like I needed to be on my own.
” He shrugs and leans against the low run of cabinets. “I liked having my brothers around.”
“What happened?” I glance around this spacious apartment. “How did you end up here?”
“One day, a man showed up at the house in Astoria.” He settles in to tell me the story and fill in the pieces I didn’t know. “A lawyer. For Troi Keller.”
“I knew about Troi.” I nod. “That he died and named your brother Griffin the new head of the Irish Mob.”
“Troi’s wife was my ma’s cousin.” Connor crosses himself for his deceased aunt. “Next thing we know, we’re running our empire here in Manhattan. ”
“How many of your brothers are married?” I ask, running a finger along the countertop.
“All of them,” he says with a voice that’s so final it startles me.
“And Griffin will let you be with me when he probably wants to marry you off to an heiress or some other don’s daughter who—”
“No who , Venom.” He pulls me into his arms. “You. Would Griffin have found someone? Maybe.”
“That means I’m in the way.” Doubt claws my insides.
“Let me tell you something about my siblings. Except Griffin, they all fought to be with someone they loved. Starting with my sister Sabine, of all people. Ewan tried to marry her to Kieran O’Rourke.
She said fuck this and moved to Los Angeles.
Then lied and told us some guy we never met knocked her up.
That’s how badly she wanted Grayson. Ewan fell for a woman who’s technically our niece.
And Shane...” He laughs. “Griffin tried to marry him off to his wife’s sister first. He killed that deal and married the woman he wanted. ”
These stories prove his argument, but holy hell, I have to know more details about the brother who married his niece.
Head spinning, I say, “What happened to Griffin?”
“Poor Griff.” He tsk tsks. “He had to marry Ava. There was no getting around it. But I challenge you to tell me after you meet them that they’re not in love and happy.”
“I don’t think I’m ready to get married,” I say softly. “I just got fired from the DEA. That was supposed to be my future.”
“Once we settle this business with Tahiri, and you’re not in anyone’s scope to be killed, you can do what you want.” He kisses me. “Within reason, of course.”
“Meaning no going back to law enforcement.” I sigh.
But I fucked that up myself. And it could be worse. I could be struggling to make ends meet. I have a roof over my head and a man who’s crazy about me. He’s willing to stand up to the head of the Irish Mob to be with me.
Okay, it’s his brother, but killing a brother in the mafia is not unheard of.
Connor doesn’t want a princess or a showpiece. Noel would undoubtedly keep whores on the side.
Connor would never be so low as to keep a mistress and whores. That’s the vibe I got from him. He didn’t even sleep with anyone else in the months between us being together.
“What’s going through your brain, Venom?”
I just shake my head. “I’m trying to make sense of what you told me last night. How Tahiri’s been lying to me.”
And Valdrin, but there’s no point in bringing him up and making Connor hunt him down, too.
“No one expects you to figure it out right now.” He hugs me, and his hold feels so good. So warm. So safe.
I’m not safe because of me. Not because of anything Connor’s done. I got myself into this mess, and all he’s wanted to do is untangle it for me.
“Hey, let’s finish watching that movie.” I look up at him.
We return to the sofa, where I curl against his chest. Exhaustion and warmth lull me not to sleep but to a place of peace and satisfaction.
I don’t fight it when my body betrays me, and my heart is not far behind at this point.
Because for the first time in years, maybe ever, I don’t want to run.