Chapter Twenty #2
“Will you get the fuck outta here!” I groan, tipping my head back.
Kayden chuckles, then bends to pick up his fanny pack, showing me half of his creamy-white ass, then blows me a kiss as he skips out of the kitchen.
I ogle him hungrily as he disappears down the hallway, then adjust myself and focus on dinner.
I’ve decided I want to try making fish tacos.
When Kayden makes them for me, they’re absolutely amazing, so I thought I’d treat him to Tacos a la Caleb for once.
I just hope they turn out okay. I found a recipe online that promised ‘anyone could make them,’ so I guess that includes me.
I splurged on a lemon meringue cheesecake as well and a bottle of cava.
It’s our one-month anniversary. I’m not sure Kayden knows.
I’ve never celebrated a one-month anniversary with anyone before because I’ve never had a boyfriend before, or a girlfriend for that matter.
I’ve never been in love before, so I want tonight to be special, and now that I’ve sort of promised I’ll fuck him, I guess it will be in more ways than one.
I put on some Nina Simone, then start dinner, making sure to follow the recipe down to every last detail.
I’m making a mango and papaya salsa on the side with fresh chili, coriander, and lime juice.
I have to say I’m pretty proud of myself, and soon the kitchen smells like a Mexican beach resort.
Maybe we can go one day, Kayden and I. I’ve got a lot of vacation time saved up, and I never really spend any money on stuff like holidays, but maybe we could go to Mexico in the fall when work isn’t so busy.
In the fall. In the winter. It doesn’t matter.
We have all the time in the world to travel the world together. I’ve never really been anywhere.
Kayden is still in the bathroom, and I’m wondering if I should go check on him.
It’s not that difficult to douche, but if you haven’t tried it before, I guess it can be a little daunting.
I wipe my hands on a kitchen towel and set the oven to preheat when there’s a knock on the front door.
It’s probably one of the neighbor’s kids.
They have three boys ranging from ten to teen trouble, and they often throw one of their balls or fly one of their annoying drones into my backyard, where it lands in a tree or something.
I head toward the door when there’s a heavier knock, followed by Sal’s distinct voice, “Open the door, man. I’m dying out here!” I freeze, throwing a glance down the hallway, where the door to the bathroom is still closed. I have to get rid of Sal without being suspicious about it.
I swing the door open and lean against the doorjamb, trying to portray a calm I’m by no means feeling. My heart races in my chest, and my mouth goes all dry. “Hey man, what’s up?”
Sal smiles at me widely, holding up a six-pack in his hand, waving it back and forth.
“Viv took an extra shift at the hospital, so you know what that means. Game night with your favorite buddy, Sal.” He winks, then slides past me before I can think of something.
I hurry after him. “Shit, are you cookin’?
Smells good, man. Didn’t know you’ve taken up cooking. ”
“It’s just—”
Sal whistles as he eyes the lineup of ingredients on the kitchen counter.
“You making tacos? I guess this is my lucky night. Here.” He hands me the six-pack, then goes to open the fridge for a cold one.
Sweat trickles down his temples. “Whew, it’s nasty outside.
” He stops talking when he opens the fridge, then turns and frowns at me.
“Shit. You have a date.” He points at the cava and the cheesecake.
“Oopsie. My mistake. I’ll get out of yo—”
“Babe? I’m not sure I did it right, but—”
My heart stops just as Sal turns around to the sound of his son’s voice.
Kayden freezes, his eyes going wide as saucers, when he sees his dad standing next to me.
Even if it hadn’t been for the casually spoken babe, we would still be fucked.
Completely and utterly fucked. Because Kayden is naked aside from a towel slung around his narrow waist. His hair is all wet, and drops of water trail down his naked pecs, past his pointed pink nipples and his scars, and further down his delicious happy trail.
Faded hickeys cover his chest and collarbones.
“Oh shit,” Kayden blurts, his panicked eyes flying between his dad and me.
Sal gapes like a fish out of water, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, while he stares at his almost-naked son in disbelief.
“Dad—” Kayden starts, but Sal collects himself enough to hold up a hand between them. Kayden bites his lip, then slumps his shoulders, and I want nothing more than to go to him and hold him.
“Sal, look,” I start, and my best friend swings around at me, his face stone cold, as he throws me a death glare.
“You fucking asshole,” he grits, shaking with anger.
“Sal, please. Let’s just—”
“You motherfucking asshole.” He’s livid. When he takes a step toward me, Kayden gasps, wrapping his arms around himself. Sal points at me, his eyes dark and cold. “Him?” he thunders. “Really?”
“Sal, it’s not what you think.”
“Oh, I think it’s exactly what I think.” His face is all the way up in mine by now, his breath hot and angry against my face.
“But please enlighten me, Caleb, before I kick your ass. Please do tell me it’s not what it looks like, because right now it looks like you’re fucking my son!
My son!” Sal’s voice shakes, a mix of hurt and betrayal in his eyes.
“Dad,” Kayden pleads, but Sal waves him off while still staring me down.
“Please let me explain,” I try, reaching for Sal, but he bats my hand away. “We were gonna tell you tomorrow, but you might as well have it now. I love him. I love Kayden.”
A shadow washes over Sal’s face, then his jaw clenches, and he spits, “Oh, that’s fucking rich coming from you. You don’t even know the meaning of the word love.”
“Sal…”
“No, you only love yourself, Caleb. It’s all about you, isn’t it?
You don’t give a shit about the trail of broken hearts you leave behind.
And that’s okay. I mean, it’s none of my damn business.
” He shakes his head, laughing bitterly.
“Until now, because now you’ve made it my fucking business.
” He turns away from me and points to Kayden, who looks like his entire world is crumbling before his eyes.
“Because that is my son, Caleb. He is mine and you,”—he looks back at me, his eyes brimming with hate almost—“you don’t deserve him.
You don’t fucking deserve him.” He looks like he’s ready to slam his fists into me, and that says a lot about how angry Sal is, because he’s not a violent person.
I don’t think he’s ever hit anyone in his life.
But instead of rearranging my face, he looks at me with so much hurt and disappointment, it breaks my fucking heart.
Then, without another word, he storms past me, out of the kitchen, and down the hallway.
Kayden looks at me, his mouth opening and closing, but nothing comes out.
He jumps when the front door slams closed, then buries his face in his hands and starts crying.
Within seconds, I have him in my arms, holding him against my chest.
“Shhh, it’s okay. Don’t cry, baby. It’s okay.”
He shakes his head furiously. “It’s not. It’s not.”
“It will be. I promise.” I know I can’t promise him that. There’s no way I can, but I also know I have to give it my all. I have to try to make things right again between Sal and me.
Kayden pulls away, looking at me through wet lashes. His voice is pleading as he fists my shirt. “You have to go after him, Caleb. You can’t let him leave like that. Please, you have to talk to him.”
I nod, then kiss his forehead. “Okay, but please don’t cry.
” I cradle his chin in my hand. “Everything will be okay.” I don’t know if I believe the words this exact second, but I have to have faith, just like Kayden has faith in me, in us.
“Jesus, sweetheart, you’re shaking. Put some clothes on. I’ll be right back.”
I hurry out the front door and down the porch. Sal has reached his truck at the end of the drive, and I call out after him.
“Sal! Wait!”
He turns slowly, his chest heaving, fists clenched at his sides. “What?!” he throws back. I reach him in a couple of long strides but keep a few feet between us. I hold out my hand disarmingly without touching him, but he instantly takes a step back and bumps into his car.
“Please come back inside, Sal. Please. We need to talk this through.”
“I’ve got nothing to say to you, Caleb. Nothing.”
“But if you just listen, then you’ll understand—”
“I have nothing to say to you until you end it with him.”
His words knock all the air out of me, and I almost wish he’d just hit me instead. The ‘end it with him’ hangs between us as he looks at me, eyes filled with disappointment and sadness, too.
“I can’t,” I croak. “I don’t want to, Sal. I love him.”
He huffs, then laughs bitterly.
“What would you say if someone told you to end things with Viv? What would you say to them?”
“Don’t you fucking dare bring Viv into this. This is about you and your selfish ways, Caleb.” He shakes his head. “You can have anyone. Anyone! But you just had to go after him, didn’t you? You couldn’t keep your fucking hands away.”
I raise my voice, standing my ground. “I don’t want anyone else. I want him!” I’ve known Sal all my life, and I know how fucking stubborn he is. It’s something that has gotten him to where he is today and has brought him the success he has. But I’m stubborn too.
“Bullshit! You don’t want him. Not like that. Not like he deserves to be wanted.” He pauses, his voice dipping. “Kayden is special.”
“Don’t you think I know that? I know he is. That’s why I love him. Don’t ask me to walk away, Sal, because I can’t. I won’t.”
He deflates, then sighs. “And I will never, not fucking ever, be okay with this. Break it off, Caleb, or we are done. The business, our friendship. We’re done.”
I don’t know what to say after that. There really isn’t anything to say.
Things have gone just about as badly as they could’ve.
I take a step backward, and Sal gets into his truck, then starts the engine and drives away.
I think I’ve just lost my best friend. It feels final, the way he said those last words.
We’re done. Sal is the kind of person who can forgive just about anything.
He’s a firm believer in second chances. So many of our employees are with us because no one else wanted them or saw their potential.
But this is different because Kayden is different.
Of course, he is. He’s Sal’s kid. He’s special.
I turn around and find Kayden standing in the doorway in a pair of my basketball shorts and one of my sweatshirts. My heart aches at how beautiful and utterly devastated he looks. When I reach him, I pull him against me and whisper again and again against his neck, “I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”
He starts crying again, and I lead him into the house.
In the kitchen, I walk to the cabinet where I keep my scotch and pour us both a drink.
I slam mine down in one go, the hot liquid burning its way down my throat, washing down the echo of Sal’s words.
We’re done. We’re done. Kayden just holds his glass in his hands, staring into the amber liquid.
“Take a sip, baby,” I nudge him, but he’s frozen in time, silent tears running down his face with no end in sight. Eventually, I take the glass from his hands and place it on the counter.
“I think I should go home,” Kayden says quietly. “I think…” He eyes me with uncertainty. “Yeah, I think I’m gonna go home.”
“Please stay.” I reach for him, but he takes a step back.
“I can’t. I need to think, and I can’t think when you’re around.
” I know what he means. It’s hard for me to think when he’s around, too, but I’m afraid that if he leaves right now, he’ll change his mind about us.
That Sal’s words will dig their way into his heart and that they’ll settle there, and that he’ll believe them.
This isn’t about me, though; it’s about Kayden.
So I nod, a tug of war going on inside me. “Call me later?”
“Okay.” He offers me a small smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.
“You need a ride?”
He shakes his head. “No, I’ll walk.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah.” He bends to pick up his fanny pack, and I’m seconds away from dropping to my knees, clinging to him, and begging him to stay, but I don’t.
I walk him to the door and watch as he leaves, down the driveway, and turns to the right in the direction of town.
He looks so small and frail, defeated almost. I fight the urge to run after him while my heart slowly shatters into a million pieces.
As I watch him disappear out of sight, it feels like the end of something. It feels like the end of us.
It’s almost ten at night when the text comes in. My living room lies in darkness, my world so quiet without him. My phone vibrates, the sound cutting through the silence like a knife. I reach for my phone on the coffee table, pulling up the new message.
K: I’m sorry
K: I can’t do this
K: I can’t come between you and Dad
I stare at his words, but I don’t think my mind quite registers what they mean. I read them again and again, then decide to call him, when another message comes in.
K: Please don’t call me
K: Please
I stare at the ‘please’ while I wait for something more from him, but after a while, I realize this is it. One month and it’s over. In a matter of hours, I’ve lost everything I care about.