Chapter Twenty-Six #2
“I know, kid.” Dad’s voice breaks, and he wipes at his eyes with his one hand, the other one still firmly clasped around my arm. “I know that.”
“I don’t feel that way anymore. Not at all.
And it’s thanks to you and Mom and Em, but it’s also thanks to Caleb.
He makes me believe I can have it all. He makes me want it all.
” My words hang between us for a moment, and I can tell there’s a battle going on inside Dad, like he’s torn between the image of me as a boy who needed him in one way and a grown man, who now needs him differently.
“I just don’t wanna see you get hurt,” he eventually murmurs.
“I don’t want that either. I don’t think I will, though.
Not by him. But you know what? It doesn’t scare me, the possibility of getting hurt.
What scares me, Dad, is all the things I’ll miss out on if I don’t put myself out there and take a chance on life.
” I suck in a clipped breath. “Some people are just worth the risk, worth everything. I don’t think that’s such a foreign concept to you either. ”
“You can’t compare your mom and me to you and him. It’s different.”
“How is it different? Because of the age thing? Because he’s your best friend?
Those are just circumstances, external factors.
They’ve got nothing to do with how I feel about Caleb and how he feels about me.
I didn’t plan this, nor did he. It happened, and I don’t regret it, not for a single second.
I’ll never regret him, even if we’re not a forever thing.
He treats me well, Dad. Like, really fucking good.
I’ve…” The next part is hard, but it needs to be said.
“I’ve never been happier than with him. He’s the final step of my journey. ”
Dad sighs, slumping his shoulders. He mumbles something under his breath that’s lost in the rush of the waves.
When he looks up, I find understanding and acceptance in his eyes.
“Then that’s all I need to know, kid. The rest…
I’ll work on the rest.” A wistful smile tugs at Dad’s lips. “I’ll work on the rest with Caleb.”
My chest expands with relief. “Yeah?”
“Of course, Kayden. I just…” Dad shakes his head, his smile widening. “It just kinda took your old man by surprise, you know? Never saw it coming in a million years.”
I smile too. “Yeah, me neither, Dad. Me neither. But here we are.”
“Yes, here we are.” Dad looks at me like he’s seeing me for the first time. His voice is filled with nostalgia when he continues, “Shit, where did the time go? It feels like only just yesterday that you stood here next to me in your Nemo swim trunks.”
I laugh at the memory. “I know. I loved those.”
“You did. So much you wanted to sleep in them, too. You got so mad when we tried to get you into your pajamas at night. One tantrum after another. Right until—” Dad stops mid-sentence, something flaring in his eyes.
“Until what?”
“Until Caleb went out and got you those Nemo pajamas.”
“He got them for me?” They were my favorite, but I didn’t know Caleb got them for me. I slept in them for years, even long after they got too small.
“Yeah, he never could say no to you,” Dad mumbles. “You always had him wrapped around your little finger.”
I blush at Dad’s words because I know he’s right. Caleb would’ve done anything for me back then, just like he will now. Just like I’ll do anything for Caleb, because I love him.
A dull pain thumps in my chest. “He misses you, Dad.”
Dad’s expression hardens a little, then he sighs deeply. “We’ll be okay. I, uhm… I miss that asshole too.”
“Jesus, Dad.”
“What?”
I shake my head, the cool water licking at my legs. “Nothing.”
Without another word, Dad pulls me against him and wraps me in his arms. The hug is tentative at first, but once I relax against him, he squeezes me closer, holding me tightly against him.
I bury my face against his shoulder and breathe him in.
The scent of grass, motor oil, and the ocean engulfs me.
The scent of all things I associate with safety, home, and love.
Gratitude surges through me. In a world of lesser men, I was blessed with two of the very best of them.
“I love you, kid. More than anything. You know that, right?”
“I know, Dad. I love you, too.”
“You and your mom… You’re the best part of my life.” He trembles against me. “I thank my lucky stars for you every day.”
“I thank my lucky stars for you and Mom, too.”
We stay like that, hugging each other right up until Spirit barks from the shore. We look up at the same time, then burst into laughter. Spirit beams at us, one paw resting on the piece of driftwood in her usual I licked it, it’s mine fashion, her partner in crime long gone.
I groan, tipping my head back. “You know we’re gonna have to carry that piece of wood home with us?”
“I know,” Dad hums, shaking his head. “C’mon, K. I’ve got a couple of cold ones waiting for us.”
It takes forever to drag the tree trunk home, but Spirit’s happy expression is worth it all.
On the back deck, I drop into a lounge chair, all sweaty and panting, while Dad disappears inside, grabbing some beers.
I pull out my phone, and there’s a text from Caleb.
A smile spreads across my face, my heart beating faster.
Caleb: How did it go, baby?
I tap out a quick reply, longing tugging at me. Later, when I’m back in Caleb’s arms, I’ll tell him everything, but for now I just settle on, ‘Everything’s gonna be fine.’
His reply comes within seconds, as if he were just staring at his phone.
Caleb: Really? Fuck, baby, I’m so happy
I’m happy too
I am. So happy. In more ways than I can count. Dad and I are okay. He and Caleb will be, I just know it, because even if there are things where they don’t see eye to eye right now, there’s one thing that they both have in common: they love me.
My phone buzzes again, and my heart skips a beat as Caleb’s words wrap around me.
Caleb: I miss you. Have fun with your dad
I will. I miss you too
Caleb: Love you
“Now, what’s got you smiling so goofily?” Dad hums, handing me a beer, then noticing the phone in my hand, he shakes his head, “Nope. Never mind. Don’t wanna know.”
“Jesus, Dad. It’s just Caleb. He says hi.”
“Right, right. Well, uhm… say hi to him too. From me.”
“Okay.”
Shit, it’s going to be awkward for a while, but I have faith we’ll get there in the end. I quickly shoot Caleb the message, then put away my phone, and hold out my bottle toward Dad. He clinks his bottle against mine. “You staying for dinner? Mom will be home soon.”
“Yeah, I’d love to.” I take a long sip from the bottle, savoring the bitter-sweet coolness.
“You don’t have somewhere you’ve gotta be?” Dad eyes me, then lifts the bottle to his lips.
“Nope, I’ll stay. I can’t leave you to explain to Mom on your own why she has a whole tree trunk in her backyard.”
Dad chuckles. “Appreciate it, kid.”
I rest my head back against the chair and close my eyes, feeling the late afternoon sun on my face.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, but I just place my hand on top of it, knowing Caleb isn’t going anywhere.
He’ll be right there, waiting for me when I come back home, and then I’ll tell him everything, and he’ll hear the joy in my voice and the hope in my heart.