Chapter Thirty-Four
Look, I just don’t want you to think that I go around killing humans.”
As Denne’s voice percolated through the phone under his ear, Allhan couldn’t tell whether his eyes were open or not.
He didn’t know how long they’d been on together.
He wasn’t sure whether he had much battery left.
But if his phone died, he was going to call her on the burner, and to hell with keeping that number on the down-low.
“I know that there’s plenty of those rats without tails to spare,” she continued. “But he was hurting her, and you just have to step in, you know? Like, I couldn’t let that happen. That’s not the kind of person I am—sometimes, you have to be karma.”
Allhan started nodding. Then remembered she couldn’t see him. “Yeah. Totally.”
It was on the tip of his tongue to add: I so get it. I totally don’t kill people other than my father.
“You did the right thing,” he said instead.
“I really miss that truck, though.” She laughed. “I loved it so much. I just got the damn thing, too.”
“It was a really nice truck.”
What the hell was he saying? It didn’t matter. He just wanted her to stay on the phone with him, and she could talk about the weather, sportsball, nothing at all—and he was good with it. This call was the first thing that had made him feel anything other than dread when he lay here in this bed.
“Thank you,” he heard himself say.
“For what?”
“This.”
The soft laugh that vibrated in his ear continued into his blood. And then his mind went in a completely different direction from murder and gratitude.
“What are you wearing?” The second he realized what he’d spoken out loud, he wanted to kick himself in the head. “Oh, my God, I didn’t mean—”
“Jeans. A black turtleneck. Not exactly sexy, sorry.”
On her? It sounded downright delicious. Then again, she could have been wearing overalls and barn boots, and he would have thought it better than a bikini.
Fortunately, she laughed again. “A bikini?”
“Oh… fuck. Did I say that—”
“Yeah, you did.” Now she was really giggling. “And you’ve got more game than you think.”
Maybe if he was playing Cards Against Vampires.
“You and I do not have the same definition of that word,” he muttered.
Ah, yes, now he was tapping on The Princess Bride.
“Listen, Al, the whole thing behind ‘game’ is getting someone’s attention, right? Because you’re attracted to them, and you want them to notice you.”
“True.”
“Guess what.”
“What?”
“I’ve noticed you.” Her voice was like velvet coming through the stupid phone. “So, how long ago was your transition?”
“Like a week.”
“Oh, wow. That recent? You must be really sore and stiff, still—and getting used to your new body.”
“I feel like I’m standing on a stool every time I look down at my feet. And I don’t know where my arms and legs are half the time. And my hair is a completely different texture. It used to be kind of frizzy.”
“It’s a lot to get used to.”
“For sure.” He thought about how he’d woken up. “Yeah. Really.”
More silence, and he frowned into the darkness. Was it possible they were both circling the same thing? Was she thinking about the other changes that came from the transition, changes that didn’t have to do with height or muscles or deeper voices for males.
“Al.”
“Mmm?”
“What’s on your mind right now?” she said huskily.
In response, things woke up in a serious way down at his hips. “Are you sure you want me to answer that?”
“Yes, I am.”
As his eyes widened in the darkness, he pictured her face upturned to his own, her lips parted because they’d been kissing. The sensations of heat and need came back to him in a rush, the velvety softness of her mouth as vivid as it had been when his had been on hers.
“I’m thinking about you out in the clearing. Right after we…”
“Kissed,” she finished for him.
“Yeah.”
“And what’s happening for you. When you think of kissing me.”
Allhan looked downward, even though he could see nothing of his lower body. He knew that his dick was still attached to him and working just fine, though—because there was a heartbeat behind the fly of his jeans.
“I…”
“Say it,” she purred. “Tell me what’s going on?”
“I…”
“Are you hard, Al?”
“Oh, fuck, yes.” He rolled over onto his back and moved the cell phone to his other ear. “I’m so hard.”
“Are you thinking about what it was like to have my tongue licking into you.”
As he moaned a “yes,” his free hand went past his ribbed abdomen and pushed at the waistband of his jeans. Things had gotten really constricted down there, and bent at a bad angle again.
“How do I feel to you? When you’re kissing me,” she drawled.
“You’re… perfect.” He grunted and moved one of his legs out to the side. When that only made things tighter, he straightened his knees. “You’re always perfect.”
“That is not true.” She made a purring sound again. “Where are your hands right now?”
“One’s holding the phone.”
“And the other?”
“It’s down by my waist. I… ah, I’m a little uncomfortable. In my jeans.”
That was a ridiculous understatement. With every syllable she spoke, he was getting harder and harder, to the point where his erection was getting strangled. He was not about to go solve the problem, though. He knew without a doubt that if he were to touch that area in any way—
“Why’s that.”
“Why’s what?” he babbled.
There was another pause, and then she let out a sexy little sigh. “Why are you uncomfortable?”
“Denne, are you sure that you want to… go there.”
She was quiet for a moment. “We already have. It started with that kiss, and I don’t think we’re going to be finished with each other until you’re coming inside of me. Do you?”
He sucked in a breath
“Did I shock you?” she asked.
“No,” he said. “You spoke the truth I wanted to hear.”
Denne rubbed her thighs together as she pictured Allhan lying on some unfrilly bed, a couple of flat pillows under his head, some dark-colored bedspread wadding up under his restless legs. The lights would be dim or off altogether, and he’d have to be quiet because his roommates were next door—
Did he have roommates? Parents, maybe? Considering he was just out of his transition.
She’d never asked him if he lived with anybody, and she wasn’t going to.
She couldn’t. Questions like that were reciprocal in nature, and she really didn’t want to stop this.
Whatever was going on with him, whatever this was, she needed it right now, as she stared down the barrel of a loveless mating.
As soon as that ceremony with t’On happened, she was going to be faithful to the male she did not love and did not want. But she was not mated right now.
And these stolen moments with Al were going to have to last her a lifetime as she did her duty.
“Have you ever touched yourself?” she said in a throaty way.
“No.”
Her brows popped, and she heard the sound of screeching tires in her head. “Really? So this is your first time… ever.”
“Well, pretrans can’t get… you know.”
“You aren’t a pretrans anymore, though.”
“No, I’m not.”
Denne felt an uncoiling deep inside of herself. “Have I mentioned how glad I am you survived the change.”
And it was weird. Even though there was no future for them, she wanted to know absolutely everything about Al—well, except for the parts of his life that were going to be painful to hear about.
Intended matings. Feedings that weren’t with her.
Roommates who were not other males, but females who were unrelated to him, and beautiful, and available.
“Have you…”
“I’ve been on some dates,” she said, when his voice trailed off.
“But no one you’ve fallen in love with?”
“No, I’ve never been in love. And that’s not going to happen for me.”
With painful clarity, a bright light suddenly shone on the rest of her life, all the years ahead of her, the decades, the centuries.
And the reality of her future with t’On leached the tingling heat from her, sure as if a drain had been opened in her heart and everything sexual she’d been anticipating just now had funneled out of her.
“Al, I’m not sure I should be your first… about anything.”
“It’s too late for that, Denne. You said it yourself.”
What the hell was she doing here. He should have this with someone who was going to stay in his life longer than a couple of nights.
“Tell me what to do,” he groaned. “Teach me what to do. Please.”
Biting her lower lip, she closed her eyes.
For all the reasons she shouldn’t keep going, she knew she wasn’t going to be able to deny that pleading tone of his: She had the sense that he was as desperate to feel something good as she was.
Even if she didn’t know his why, the sorrow and sadness in him were tangible.
And not just when he was staring across the river at that glass house or talking about his sister.
“Will you tell me what you want me to do?” he begged.
To get back into the mood, Denne returned to the hypothetical bedroom she had him in and once again imagined him lying down, one leg cocked out to the side, an enormous erection straining the fly of a pair of jeans like the ones he’d had on by the Hudson.
“Al, I want you to put your free hand on it—”
His throaty gasp was the sexiest thing she’d ever heard, and she pictured him arching back into those thin pillows he might or might not have owned.
“I want you to stroke your hard shaft over those blue jeans.” As he groaned again, her own body loosened, warmth pooling between her thighs, her breasts feeling heavy. “Are you going up and down on your cock?”
He let out a long hiss, and she knew that his fangs had descended out of his upper jaw.
“Does that feel good?”
“I can’t do it for long or I’m going to—”
“Oh, we wouldn’t want you to make a mess of your jeans.” She tsk-tsked. “Undo the top button, Allhan. But don’t put the phone down. I want to hear you when you tug on it.”
There was a series of grunts, and fuck her very much, but she suddenly had him in her room with her. He was on his knees between her legs, his hands working on the front of his jeans, undoing that button, unzipping things until the hard, blunt-headed length of him popped out.
“Oh, fuuuuck,” he moaned. “Now what.”
“Unzip them.”
Denne squeezed her thighs together again, and fantasized about him circling his shaft with his hand. “Grip your cock, Al. Do it now—”
The rolling, hoarse moan that came through the phone told her that he was following her directions like the good male he was—and God help them both, but she was seeing herself spreading her legs even farther as he led with his head down to her core.
“Stroke yourself,” she commanded as she rolled her hips and scissored her knees.
More moaning from him, and then heavy breathing. In her imagination, she had him entering her, and moving in and out, nice and slow, his hips rolling and retreating. So deep and then out of her. Deep again. Pulling out.
“Faster,” she demanded. “Fuck me faster, Allhan…”
While she rubbed her legs, she ground the heel of her hand into the top of her sex, her own fangs dropping down as he panted harshly.
“I’m coming,” he said in a strangled, deep voice. “I think I’m—oh, fuck—”
“Don’t stop. Don’t stop—”
“Oh, God, I’m coming—”
Denne rolled onto her stomach and barked his name into her pillow to make sure nobody heard her out in the hallway.
As spears of pleasure shot through her, Al was making an unholy noise that was absolutely the best thing she had ever heard.
Then he bit out her name, and she knew that was when the orgasm was happening for him, too.
The idea that he was coming brought a fresh release onto her.
In the midst of the swirling pleasure, she knew that his first time was also her very, very best time.
And they weren’t even in person.