Chapter 5 #2
Motley barreled into me. Our bodies rolled to the side, and he pinned me down with his arms and legs. “Stop!” I tried to fight him off, but it was pointless. He was pissed. “Stop fighting me!”
I looked up at him and screamed as tears filled my eyes. “I can’t!”
“Kash, please!” His own eyes began to water.
“I know you’re scared, but if you don’t stop, then you won’t lose us.
We’ll lose you.” I blinked at his words.
“Please.” I could hear the pain in his voice, and it broke me.
My body eased, and I finally stopped resisting.
Motley exhaled with relief and released my arms.
I wiped my face and looked at him. “What do we do about him?” I asked as I turned to look at Guy. He was covered in blood and dirt and completely still on the ground.
Fuck.
Motley helped me to my feet, and we both slowly approached the paparazzo. He groaned as he rolled his head to look at us. Fuck, I felt relieved. For a second, I thought I might’ve killed him. That would’ve been a real fucking disaster.
Guy opened his mouth and smiled a bloodied smile.
“So broken.” He strained his words. He coughed and gagged while spitting up blood.
Motley and I exchanged a look before we looked back at him.
“You two—” He coughed. “You are so beautifully broken.” His wheezing made me nervous.
Guy rolled his head and locked eyes with me.
“I knew you were damaged, keeping secrets, hiding who you were…but it wasn’t until that night I realized what they were. Or better, who .”
What the hell did he mean by that? Wait… Did he know?
Guy then rolled to look at Motley and coughed again.
“Do you think he’ll always love you? Even though you’re more broken than he is?
” Guy struggled to laugh. “Oh, drummer boy,” he wheezed.
“He’s going to leave you, like everyone else.
After everything you’ve done, you’re not worth loving.
Not with a past as pitch black and hollow as yours. ”
I looked over at Motley and noticed a dark expression cast over his face.
It was one I had never seen before. “Motley, don’t listen to him,” I whispered.
He just stood there in some frozen trance.
It was as if something had seized him, body and soul.
“Motley. Hey, don’t listen to him. Motley?
” Motley kept his head hung low and quietly walked to Guy’s car.
“What? Motley?” He searched around the trunk and pulled out a crowbar.
“Motley? What’re you doing?” He held the crowbar tight in his hand and stared at it for a good minute.
For the first time since I had known him, Motley looked terrifying.
Dangerous. And he… fuck, he frightened me.
“Motley.” He didn’t respond or even acknowledge me.
This wasn’t the Motley I knew. No, this was the old Motley.
The one who did some pretty fucking bad things.
Guy cackled as Motley slowly stalked back towards him.
“Oh, songbird—” I snapped my head at him, shocked that he knew that nickname.
His bloodshot eyes looked at me. “You think you’re damaged?
You’re so fucking wrong. Your sweet little drummer boy has cracks so deep, even you can’t heal them.
” He turned to face Motley and laughed as blood spat from his mouth.
“Go on, you criminal. Use it. Hit me,” he coughed out.
“Do it. But know it won’t stop your demons from coming back.
They’ve latched onto your depraved soul, and just like a bloodhound, they’re following the scent of your weak heart.
There’s no outrunning your past.” He smiled and exposed his blood-stained teeth.
“Do it!” And just like that, Motley swung the crowbar and whacked Guy straight in the face.
Blood splattered across my half naked body as I froze in horror at what just happened.
Motley. No.
Motley didn’t stop or let up, but instead kept swinging the crowbar.
He was lost in the shadow of his old self.
The only sounds he made were grunts that were echoed by the sounds of squelching as the crowbar hit Guy’s body.
I stood there like a stone cold statue and watched him, clouded in such despair.
Immense pain and anger poured from him like rain as he destroyed Guy’s body, and I realized just how haunted he was by his past. In that moment, I realized just how much it must frighten him to hear even the threat of it coming back to claim him.
To hear even the possibility of being sucked back into that dreaded darkness.
He had always been so strong for me, keeping me in line and helping me through my shit, all while battling his own.
I had been so blind and selfish, unable to even see the damaged man before me.
What was wrong with me? How could I let things get so fucked.
No more. Now, it was my turn. I needed to be there for him. It was my turn to be strong.
“Motley,” I whispered as I placed my hand along his back.
Motley suddenly stopped, his body heaving as he breathed heavily.
He slowly turned to look at me, his face painted and dripping with Guy’s blood as his eyes glared back at me, unusually dark and filled with a wickedness I wasn’t familiar with.
No, not wickedness. Those vivid blue eyes were dark and cloudy, filled with something else: sadness.
God, it fucking made my heart ache. “Motley,” I whispered again as I stepped closer to him and gripped the bloodied crowbar.
He watched me closely, as if he didn’t know who I was or where we were, his grip staying firm on the weapon.
He blinked a few times and looked around as the color returned to his bloodshot eyes.
He noticed his blood-soaked hands and the crowbar firmly within them.
Pieces of Guy’s flesh were stuck to the end and dangled in the air.
He immediately shot his head back up and looked at Guy’s body, completely unrecognizable and destroyed.
His blood and flesh splattered all across the ground as if he were a smashed pinata and the prize was his brains.
Motley released the crowbar and stumbled back in fear as the realization settled in.
“Oh fuck!” He nearly fell over, but I caught him and held the crowbar in my hand.
His worrisome eyes stared at me. “Kash? What the fuck—what did I do? What did I do? ” He shook me and repeated the question again and again as he panicked.
The pain in his voice nearly made me cry. He was so hurt, so damaged by his past.
“It’s okay. I’m here.” I tried to calm him.
Motley looked back over at Guy’s body and fell to his knees while he gripped his bloodstained curly hair. “No, no, no, no!” Tears poured from his eyes. “What is wrong with me?”
I dropped the crowbar and gripped his face as I fell before him. Guy’s blood smeared from my palm across Motley’s skin. “Hey. Don’t say that!”
Motley tried to break free from my grasp, but I only held him tighter.
“Motley!” His eyes snapped to mine. “There is nothing wrong with you. Do you hear me? Nothing! You did nothing wrong!” I wiped his tears with my thumb. “You did nothing wrong.”
Motley swatted my hands away and pulled me close.
His arms wrapped around my waist, and he sobbed against my stomach while he smeared Guy’s blood all over me.
“I didn’t mean to do it!” I held him closer, and my heart ached at his cries.
“I didn’t mean to do it, Kash! I swear! Fuck! I’m going to be sent back!”
I rubbed his back and leaned my head against it. “Don’t think about that right now. Everything is going to be okay.”
Motley pulled back. “How? How, Kash? I killed him!” You did. “But—I—didn’t have a choice! He threatened you, Kash. He threatened us both! Fuck, I didn’t mean to!”
I stood straight up and lifted his face as I forced him to look up at me.
The blue of his eyes had fully returned and burned against his tears.
“Hey,” I whispered. “None of that matters. It’s going to be okay.
I’m here. And I’m going to take care of this.
I’m going to take care of all of this. We’re going to be okay.
You’re going to be okay, Motley. And you’re not going anywhere, you understand me? ”
“How?” he asked. “I killed him. You can’t pretend that didn’t happen.” His eyes fell to his bloodied hands as they trembled. “I can’t go back to jail, Kash. I can’t. Not with my past. Not with…”
And I would never let you.
I wiped his tears and looked around. Thankfully, it seemed no one was around.
And the sun was still not up, meaning if we moved fast we’d have just enough time to figure this out.
To clean up this fucking mess. And as fucked as this whole thing was, I felt a little relieved.
Guy was the one stalking our family, taking those photos and leaving messages.
Why? I had no fucking clue. But thanks to Motley, he was dead, and that meant he wouldn’t be able to tell anyone what happened here or anything for that matter.
As fucked as it sounded, we were safe. For now.
As my mind wandered, I looked out in the distance and searched for something—anything—that could make this fucked situation just a little easier.
“There.” I pointed just off in the nearby distance.
Motley’s eyes followed. “See that lake? It’s not far.
I bet we could dump his body there, and no one would ever know.
We just need to figure out how to get it there without being seen.
And figure out what the hell we’re going to do with his car.
” My head ached. So many fucking things to figure out.