Chapter 7
South Downs, the following day
Side by side, Fontus and Dee galloped away from her cottage, until they arrived at the top of a broad ridge. A groom trailed behind, remaining within sight for propriety’s sake. They dismounted, gave their horses over to the care of the groom and walked along a slight path worn into the ground.
“Captain Somerville was right,” Dee remarked.” The view from this ridge is spectacular, and not just the expanse toward the estate. The other side of the rise is a picture of forested mystery. See how the late morning fog lingers between the trees.”
“Indeed,” Fontus agreed from beside her.
However, he was not admiring the rolling vista of the South Downs.
She was as beautiful in an elegant riding habit as she had been in borrowed peasant’s clothing, or last night’s gown.
He expected she would be just as entrancing on the dance floor.
Or perhaps tousled and rosy from love making.
She shifted to look at him.
He shook his head to clear the inappropriate fantasy. He’d kissed her only once. A delightful, if unsatisfyingly short, embrace. Never before had he fantasized about one woman with such persistence. Women came to him with relative ease. If one left, another eventually appeared.
Deoiridh’s endurance in his imagination was unique. He’d never tried to cajole or lure her into a compromising position. She was a lady. Of course, he had treated her with every respect.
She trusted me, needed my help. She did not need to be seduced. Nor would she have welcomed it.
His inventive mind did not care. There, the intimacies shared with Dee were legion. All previous encounters with women paled.
“I was thinking last night of all the items we must discuss.”
Despite her stern tone, his heart warmed. She thought of him when she was alone.
“I suppose you want to know why I appear to be courting Lady Beatrix,” Fontus stated.
“Appear? Lady Somerville informed me that Sandrow and daughter were invited so you could learn to know your future bride. She said your brother had arranged the match. Does he know you are already married?”
“Not yet. I had hoped to discover that the annulment was final and no obstacle existed to my marriage with Beatrix.”
Dee paled a bit, and she stiffened. “How disappointed were you when you learned otherwise?”
Fontus peered closely at her.” Do you think I want this marriage?”
Dee straightened and lifted her chin. “Which marriage? Your current one, or the one you wish for.”
He snorted. “I do not wish to marry Lady Beatrix Sandrow.”
“Your actions suggest otherwise.” Her gaze narrowed.
“That is for her father’s benefit,” Fontus said. “You saw how he browbeats her with degrading remarks. She has no more interest in our betrothal than I.”
“How do you know?”
Was that hope he saw beneath her slitted lids?
“Because she told me.”
“Hah,” Dee scoffed. “She’s too afraid of her father to say that.”
“You are right. She would not tell me had her father been present,” Fontus remarked.
“You spoke with her alone?” Her scorn turned glacial.
“We walked in the rose garden. Her maid was with us, and we could be seen from the house.”
Dee’s expression softened a bit. “That’s when my mother came upon you.”
“Yes.”
“She heard you call Lady Beatrix the woman you love.”
“Had Lady Aitken seen our faces, she would have known we were joking. The remark was taken completely out of context.”
Did Dee just sigh? All stiffness left her.
“Tell me what the two of you said.”
He summarized the conversation. “I agreed to behave like a suitor, until Sandrow receives my brother’s invitation to visit Leigh Chase. That should happen soon, as I sent my letter and one from Lady Beatrix to His Grace yesterday.”
Something like dismay crossed Dee’s face so quickly he was uncertain he’d seen it.
“He will agree?”
“If not for my sake, for Lady Beatrix. Lovis is not cruel. He would not wish her to suffer simply to make my life easier,” Fontus explained.
Dee laughed. “I doubt life would be easy for anyone with Sandrow as a father-in-law.”
“Agreed. Whomever I am married to, I will travel widely. Lovis, when I spoke with him last, implied that my permanent employment with the diplomatic service was all but assured.”
“Do tell?” Her brows rose.
“He attempted to soften the news of my arranged marriage with the comment that a wife is an asset to a career diplomat.”
Dee nodded. “That much is true. Do you believe Lady Beatrix is the best choice?”
“When out of her father’s orbit, she is delightful,” Fontus mused. “Away from parental browbeating, Lady Beatrix’s wit and intelligence will shine.”
“That may be,” Dee admitted. “Even on short acquaintance, I am certain she could learn quickly. However, a woman of more worldly experience is a better choice.”
Does Dee mean herself?
“Have you someone in mind?” he asked.
“Ah,” she paused. “Not at the moment. Nonetheless, I am happy to assist you in making a selection.”
“Marriage for career advancement is fine, but what if I wish to marry for love?”
Fontus needed to know if Dee shared that wish?
“I had not taken you for a romantic. Is that what you want?” she asked.
A light shone in her lapis eyes. He might imagine she wanted him to marry her for love.
“I am not opposed to the idea of being in love with my wife.”
She walked in silence.
“What of you, wife? When we are no longer wed will you follow your heart into your next marriage?”
“I’d not given it much thought.” She spoke slowly.
But you gave it some thought. Who did you imagine as the man you might love?
The conversation was becoming fraught. Better to change the subject.
“We must consider our futures carefully. My primary concern is your safety,” he said.
“I propose that you move to Leigh Chase in Leicestershire. There is no safer place I can think of than the ducal seat. If we take Lovis into our confidence, he’ll not only see you safe, but he can speed along the process of annulment. ”
She blushed.
The color in her face was becoming, but he’d no desire to embarrass her. “You do still wish for an annulment?”
“I…I believe so. However, I must confess, that while I started the letter necessary for requesting one, I’ve not yet sent it.”
His brow wrinkled. “You’ve had close to three years. The process could be complete by now. Why the delay?”
“Please don’t be angry with me.”
Fontus softened his expression and placed a hand over hers at her side. “I apologize if you thought I was upset. I could never be angry with you Dee.”
“Truly? You don’t know me well enough. You cannot be certain.”
“I take your point. Nonetheless, I can think of only one thing that might cause me a moment’s irritation with you.”
She tilted her head. “What would that be?”
“If you took an unwarranted risk with your life. I would never forgive myself if anything should happen to you.” He kept his tone and expression level. He wanted her to know she mattered to him.
“But you said, ‘if I took the risk’ not you?”
Fontus grinned. “Strange is it not, for me to feel responsible for your actions.”
Now Dee’s brow furrowed. “Indeed, I’m not certain I like that.”
“It doesn’t make me happy, precisely. But there it is. Since the day I left you with Mars at Brighton Harbor, I’ve been unable to shake the feeling that I need to be the one to protect you.”
“Hmmm. Perhaps not so strange. Not, if you loved me.”
“Indeed.” He looked away.
Now was not the time for confessions of imaginary love. They needed time to examine their feelings. Logical, yes. Reasonable, yes. Satisfying, far from it.
“You don’t love me, do you?” she asked.
He turned back to find her peering at him as if he were some strange creature she’d seen for the first time.
“I don’t know. Never, for any other woman, have I had the feelings I have for you.
I think about you and what life would be like if our marriage was real—if we spent our lives together.
Am I in love? I don’t know.” He could think he was in love, but that wasn’t enough to declare himself.
“I’ve never been in love before, so I don’t know what it feels like. What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Have you ever been in love? Do you know what it feels like?”
She shook her head. “I know what my mother told me about loving my father.”
Fontus waited.
“Mother said, the feeling crept up on her when she wasn’t looking. Father had courted her in the standard manner. He was eligible. He proposed, and she accepted. She liked him, she said, as well as any other suitor. She had not realized how much she loved him until he was gone.
“I recall how deep her grief was after he passed. I could say nothing, do nothing to lift her spirits. It was King Louis, actually, who insisted on meeting with her to talk. Initially they spoke of my father, for he too had loved Father in the way kings love their few friends. They helped each other mourn, and eventually both of them became happier. Their conversations continued, though on other subjects. I believe they love each other, but in the way of friends rather than the passion of lovers…”
She and Fontus ambled to a halt to sit beneath a tree. He removed his coat, spreading it on the ground to protect Dee’s dress from stains and damp.
“So, your mother was surprised by love?”
“Evidently.”
“If what I feel for you is love then I hope I realize it before I lose it,” he confessed.
“My hope for myself is the same.”
“You asked if I love you,” Fontus reminded. “I cannot say for certain. I can say that I believe I could love you.”
She gave a small smile. “I, too, think that might be possible. For me to love you, that is. However, marriage involves many other matters than love.”
“Indeed, but I hear that love makes it easier.”
“Since neither of us is certain, let us put the topic aside.”
“Yes, will you come to Leigh Chase after the events here at Normanton House?”
“I find myself reluctant. I will agree, since your arguments are sound. However, I comply on the condition that it is temporary, and other arrangements are made for my continued safety.”
He nodded.” We will make more definite plans after we speak with Lovis and get his help with the annulment.”
Her smile faded.
Did the thought of an annulment sadden her? She’d not said she wished to remain wed.
In the distance, one of the horses snorted. Fontus heard the groom murmur to it.
He became aware that the sun stood high in the sky.
“We’ve been gone longer than I expected. We should head back now, or we’ll be late for luncheon.”
“I will need to change,” Dee said. “We should go to my cottage first.”
“Of course. However, I’ve a few small items to do before we sit down to eat, so I will leave you there.
He signaled to the groom.
They turned their mounts toward her cottage.