14. Love And Other Sim Cards
LOVE AND OTHER SIM CARDS
CREW
Hello, Clarice.
MERIT
Jesus. I forgot you had my number.
CREW
You mean you don’t have me saved as Big, Buff Bad Boy?
MERIT
Yeah, not the ‘B’ word I’d use.
CREW
I love this little thing we do—you insult me, I pretend to hate it. It’s so us.
MERIT
You do know this number was given to you for emergencies only, right?
CREW
This is an emergency. I’m suffering from a Merit-deficit.
MERIT
We literally saw each other today.
CREW
Yeah, a whole three hours ago.
MERIT
Has anyone ever told you that you’re clingy?
CREW
I’m likable. There’s a difference.
MERIT
More like stalkerish.
CREW
Deny it all you want, Princess. You’re the one still texting me.
MERIT
Ugh, do you have an off switch?
CREW
I have an on one.
MERIT
That’s disgusting.
CREW
So you admit it—you were thinking about my dick.
MERIT
What? No! Only because you implied it!
CREW
Merit, I’m so flattered.
MERIT
I’m going to kill you.
CREW
Oh, no. Not your hands around my neck. Yeah, that’s definitely something I don’t want.