2
EMILIA
I didn’t go to his office after lunch.
Dean could issue all the commands he wanted, but I was determined to prove—to him and to myself—that I wasn’t his plaything anymore.
Of course, I was lying to myself when I said that I didn’t want him. That I was going to try my best and ignore him. It was hard. Unbelievably hard.
I sat at my desk instead, going over my emails, organizing the files that had started to pile up over the past few days, and pretending not to feel the phantom of his touch lingering on my skin. The break room encounter had left me shaken, but I refused to let it show. I couldn’t. God…he was ruthless. Still, I let him use me.
I closed my eyes for a second, trying my hardest to stop thinking about him. But even when my eyes were closed, Dean was all I could see. My body tensed, and I gave myself one hard mental push to stop.
Once my eyes were back on the screen, I continued to type out an email to a partner regarding a last-minute meeting change. Then, my desk phone rang, and I knew it was Dean before I could even see his name on the small screen.
Only he had this specific ringtone, and it made my skin crawl every time it filled the silence of my office.
I took a steadying breath before answering. “Yes, Mr. Rockwell?”
A pause. A long, deliberate silence. He mocked me, taunted me, even when he didn’t speak. “You didn’t come.”
His voice was a deep drawl, low and simmering with irritation. Or amusement. Either way, it bothered me. Sent shivers down my spine in the worst, yet best, way possible.
I kept my tone even. “I’ve been busy.”
He exhaled, the sound laced with quiet frustration. “Come now.”
“No.”
Another pause, heavier this time. “No?”
“I said no, sir.”
I let the title drip with the cold detachment I wished I truly felt. “If you need anything work-related, you can email me.”
The silence stretched, thick and pulsing between us. I could practically see the muscle in his jaw ticking, the way his fingers might have curled into a fist on his desk. The way he would stare me down with those cold, emotionless eyes.
Then, he let out a humorless laugh. “Is this how you want to play it?”
“I’m not playing anything,”
I said coolly. “I’m working. As I should be.”
Another beat of silence. “You’re testing me, kitten.”
I gripped the phone tighter. The damn nickname. I wouldn’t let him win.
“I have work to do,”
I said simply, before hanging up with pure regret setting deep in my stomach.
I wasn’t this cold. I was a kind person. Warm. Heartfelt. I cared about others. Maybe I cared a bit too much for Dean. I wanted to hate myself, but I was too kind to myself for that too.
Setting the phone back down, I cleared my throat as if I had spoken too many words and needed to get rid of the heaviness of them. My focus was on the words I was typing when a soft knock on my door made me look up.
Leann, the office’s front desk manager, peeked her head inside, her eyes wide with wonder. “Dean is asking for you. He said he tried to call you but couldn’t reach you,” she said.
I wanted to roll my eyes, but that would’ve made her ask questions. I didn’t want anyone in this office—or anywhere—to know about Dean and me. Better said, what Dean and I used to do.
I dropped my gaze to my phone, frowning. “Really? My phone hasn’t rang all day.”
He was turning me into a liar and I hated it. Well, to be fair, I was lying to myself all this time for trying to make myself believe that I didn’t want him anymore.
I’m such a hypocrite.
“Oh.”
Leann’s smile was gentle. “Well, he would like to talk to you. He’s in his office.”
I gave her a nod. “Okay, thanks, Leann.”
“You’re most welcome, Emmy.”
She moved her gaze to my phone, then added, “I’ll have someone come by to check on that phone. Strange that it doesn’t work.”
“No, you—”
I sighed, placing my hand on it. “I’ll do it myself. You’re always so busy. I will handle this myself.”
“Are you sure?”
she asked, her blonde brows furrowing. “You look a little…pale. Sure everything is all right?”
If I had a tighter relationship with Leann, I would’ve told her everything. Although she was only four years older than me, I never connected with her the way I should’ve. I could use a friend. One I could talk to every night, hang out on the weekends with, or just have lunch in the break room at work. But I never showed that kind of interest in her—or any woman in this office, for that matter.
The only person I truly showed interest in was Dean, and come to think about it, that made me a total slut. Okay, maybe slut isn’t the right word, but I sure felt dirty for only ever caring about my boss who I had a toxic, one-sided relationship with.
I forced a smile and nodded. “Yes, everything is fine. I guess I just haven’t had enough to eat or drink today.”
“Oh, no…”
Leann was worried, and I hated that I was making her feel that way. She studied me for a moment, then looked over at the clock on the wall. “How about we get coffee in thirty minutes? You know we’re allowed to take afternoon breaks. Only ten minutes, but sometimes it’s all we need to get the energy back in. What do you say?”
“I uh…”
I should say yes. Leann was being nice, and she truly seemed to care about my well-being. And, most of all, she seemed like a good friend. And that’s what I needed. “Sounds great,” I told her, smiling brighter.
“Perfect. Let’s meet in the break room in thirty minutes.”
She gave me another one of her beautiful smiles before she left.
I needed a moment before I got up to head over to Dean’s office right across from mine. He could’ve gotten up and knocked on my door himself. Instead, he ordered Leann to do it. What a lazy man. God, no…he wasn’t lazy. He was using his powers to get what he wanted, and, sadly, it was working.
I fisted my hands and took a long, deep breath that I held for far too long before I walked out of my office. I knocked on his door and waited for him to call me in.
“Yes.”
I closed my eyes for a second, then pushed open the door. Why was I making such a big deal out of this? I wanted this. Him. God, I wanted all of him again.
I kept quiet when I walked in, closing the door behind me slowly. With my eyes on him, I watched as he leaned back in his chair, with his hands resting on his lower stomach.
His eyes wandered down my body, taking in every inch, and making every part of me tingle. There was no shame in the way he was admiring me. He took me in with his cruel eyes, leaving invisible marks. “As your boss, I expect you to follow my demands.”
I swallowed hard, keeping my posture firm. “I follow your orders when they’re related to work, Mr. Rockwell. That’s all.”
Dean tilted his head slightly, studying me like I was some puzzle he was trying to solve. A slow, knowing smirk curled on his lips. “Is that so?”
“Yes.”
He hummed, his fingers drumming against the desk. “And yet, here you are. Following my commands after telling me no.”
I straightened my back. “Because you sent Leann. I figured if I didn’t come, you’d send someone else. And I didn’t want to make a scene or bother other people.”
He let out a quiet chuckle, shaking his head slightly. “Always so practical and selfless, aren’t you? Always thinking ahead. That’s what makes you good at your job.”
He sat forward, his elbows resting on the desk as he pinned me with those impossibly dark grey eyes. “But we both know you’re not here just because I sent Leann. You could’ve stayed persistent.”
Now he was just straight out mocking me. I held his gaze, but I didn’t respond. Because, ultimately, he was right.
I came willingly, no matter how much I told myself that I didn’t.
He exhaled a slow breath, as if savoring the moment. “Come here.”
I stiffened. “Dean—”
“I wasn’t asking, kitten.”
His voice was pure command, and my body reacted before my mind could catch up. I betrayed myself more often than I would ever admit. My fingers curled into fists at my sides as I resisted the pull, the deep-rooted instinct to obey him. But I couldn’t resist for long. I stepped forward, my heartbeat picking up pace as I got closer to his desk.
When I stopped, his eyes darkened even more. He leaned back in his chair again, placing his hands on the armrests. With his head tilted back, he ordered, “Get on your knees.”
I frowned. “What?”
“Get on your knees,”
he repeated, his jaw tight.
I looked at his large desk in front of me, then let my eyes wander down my body. The skirt I was wearing wasn’t meant to kneel. It was too tight, and it would ride up as soon as I crouched down. But when I looked at him again, and saw the pure lust in his eyes, I went weak in my knees.
They hit the ground shortly after, my gaze still fixed on his.
Fire ignited in his gaze, watching me closely as I followed all of his commands. “Now, crawl to me, kitten.”
My thighs clenched and my clit throbbed in response to his words. I hated his mouth as much as I loved it. Not just because of the things he said, but also because of the things he did to me with it.
I opened my mouth, unsure why I even thought of protesting. I didn’t want to fight him anymore. I wanted to do everything he told me to. God, I was right back where I had been a few weeks ago, before I decided to push him away. Weak wasn’t the right word to describe how completely and utterly undone I felt. It wasn’t just weakness, it was surrender. A slow, aching collapse into the inescapable pull of him.
Dean watched me, his expression hard, intense, and I could feel the weight of his control pressing down on me. He knew. Of course, he knew. He always did.
My hands pressed against the cool floor, and I moved forward, each shift of my body a mix of resistance and longing. He hadn’t moved a muscle, still leaning back in his chair, watching me with those dark, unforgiving eyes. The silence between us was thick, almost suffocating, but it didn’t matter. Not anymore.
I crawled toward him, moving underneath his large desk. In a way, this was degrading. But I’d be lying if I said that I didn’t like it. It was sick, in a way, having a man be so deeply in control over me, but I simply couldn’t help it. I tried. I truly tried. But trying to stay away from him was the hardest thing I had ever done.
When I finally reached him, I knelt in front of him between his legs. Looking up at him, I waited for his next command. Dean’s lips parted, his gaze dropping to where I knelt before him. He seemed to savor the moment, the dominance he held over me evident in the slight curl of his lips. “You think you’re still in control, Emilia?”
I quickly shook my head. I wasn’t. We both knew it, but he had to mock me about it. I didn’t tear my gaze away from his. “No,”
I whispered, my voice barely audible. “I never was.”
“Good,”
he muttered, his voice low and rough. “You’ve finally come to your senses.”
A shiver ran through me as I waited, aching for whatever he would demand next. I was caught between defiance and desire, and as much as I wanted to hate him for it, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. Not now. Not when he had me this way.
Dean sat up straight and reached out one hand to cup my cheek. His touch was featherlight at first, his fingers tracing a line from my cheekbone down to my chin. Then, he cupped my jaw and pressed his fingertips and thumb into my cheeks, squeezing hard until my lips puckered.
He leaned down, bringing his face close. His lust-filled eyes were still on mine, and I held my breath to prepare for what he did next. His gaze dropped to my mouth before his lips pressed onto mine. He forced my mouth to open wider with the pressure of his fingers, and his tongue dipped inside hungrily, swirling around mine.
He released his grip just enough to let me kiss him back but he kept his fingers right there so that I couldn’t move away. Not that I wanted to, anyway.
A protesting moan escaped me when he pulled back, releasing my face, and giving me an intense look. I could feel the imprint of his fingers still on my skin as he leaned back and reached for his belt buckle. He ripped it open with impatience, then freed his cock from his pants.
“Eyes on me, kitten,”
he demanded. “You can look at my cock when I say you can.”
I bit the inside of my cheeks to stop myself from arguing. We had played this game before, and whenever I talked or fought back, he punished me by sending me away without hesitation. I didn’t want that to happen. I wanted this, even if I’d regret it.
“Look at you,”
he murmured.
I could see his hand moving up and down his shaft out of the corner of my eye, and it took all the strength I had in me not to look down. I had always loved watching him please himself. Even if it didn’t happen often or for too long, those were moments I remembered most. Him watching me while he touched himself.
The idea of my face being enough for him to get turned on made me feel powerful. I didn’t have to be naked to get him hard, and oftentimes, he ordered me to keep my eyes on him while he came.
My breath hitched as he reached out with his right hand. He cupped my jaw and pressed his thumb against my chin, pulling it down to open my mouth. “You’re so fucking beautiful, baby. But you already know that, don’t you?”
I gave him a small nod. It wasn’t arrogance that made me feel confident about my appearance. It was my parents and their beauty which they blessed me.
“Yeah, you know. And you like hearing me say it, don’t you?”
He was still stroking his cock with his left hand, and it was starting to become harder not to look down. “You know when you’re even more beautiful?”
I swallowed the saliva that puddled up on the back of my tongue. Shaking my head slowly, I opened my mouth slightly as he pushed his thumb between my lips.
“When you have my big cock in your mouth. Love having those pretty lips wrapped around it while you keep looking at me.”
He licked his lips and pushed his thumb further into my mouth, pressing down on my tongue. “I want you to suck it nice and slow at first. Then, when I tell you to, I want you to suck it hard. I want the tip to hit the back of your throat, and I want you to choke on it.”
I wanted all of that too. I could handle it. I’ve handled it many times before.
“You got that?”
he asked, pulling his thumb back out.
“Yes.”
“Say my name.”
My jaw clenched. God, there was no escaping. I had my chance, and I thought I would make it without giving in to him, but I didn’t. “Yes, Dean.”
“That’s right,”
he muttered. “Open your mouth. Stick that tongue out.”
I did as I was told, and seconds later, he spit into my mouth. “Don’t swallow that. I want it on my dick. You can look at it now.”
My eyes immediately dropped to his hand still wrapped around his cock, and when he pressed it in my direction, I leaned in to take him into my mouth. I curled my tongue around his tip, wetting it with his saliva mixed with mine. Admittedly, there were certain moments I felt dirty. Especially when I let him order me around like this.
I sucked him deep, swallowing hard to take more of him until his cock hit the back of my throat. Then I pulled away, only to do it again. It didn’t take long before I heard a quiet groan escape his lips.
God…the sounds he made turned me on. I pressed my thighs together to stop the sharp aching of my clit. It wasn’t my turn, and I wanted to focus on Dean.
His words came back to me, and I sucked slower, working over every inch of him as he watched me. His hands ran into my curls, pushing them away from my face, and finally holding my hair at the back of my head with one tight fist. “That’s it,”
he groaned, breathing in sharply through his teeth. “Nice and slow, baby. But I know you can take more than that.”
His fist tightened in my hair, and he held me in place as he slid deeper inside. I gagged as it hit an ever deeper spot at the back of my throat, feeling the burn of him filling every inch of me.
“Don’t move.”
It was hard to breathe, and my eyes watered at the lack of air filling my lungs. I was still looking at him, obeying at all times, but I had to close my eyes when he pushed my head further down. Spit ran down my chin in thick ropes while he used my mouth with an intensity that bordered on viciousness.
Still, I was enjoying this.
“Fuck, yeah,”
Dean groaned as I gagged on him again. “That’s fucking hot. You’re going to make me come if you keep choking like that.”
My hands flew up to his thighs, and I held on to him, trying to steady myself as he continued to hold me there. I started to feel dizzy, but the high I was riding was too incredible to just let go.
His thrusts were slow at first, and when he didn’t want to move anymore, he grabbed my head with both hands and bobbed it up and down, my mouth sliding fast along his cock. He kept going as more saliva dropped to the inside of his thighs, then, he pulled out abruptly, leaving both of us panting as if we’d just run a race together. A string of spit stretched from my lips to his tip, and he watched it with so much lust in his eyes.
I looked up at him, confused as to why he stopped when he didn’t even come yet. I slowly licked my bottom lip, getting the string of saliva to break. He kept his eyes on me, taking me in as he rubbed his hardness.
“You love getting face-fucked by this cock,”
he said breathlessly.
I nodded without saying a word. He looked as if he was trying to figure something out. His gaze wandered all over my face and down to my blouse, then his eyes met mine again as he said, “Coming on your clothes isn’t such a good idea with everyone else still in the office.”
Oh, so that’s why he stopped? He needed a minute to think. It was a bit amusing to see him gather all his thoughts and ideas when his goal of ejaculating was actually so simple. Dean wasn’t a simple man though. He calculated every move, every word he said. And he needed for everything to be exactly the way he wanted it to.
He reached out with his right hand and cupped my jaw. “But I guess your mouth will have to do for now.”
Dean pulled me closer again, putting his hand on the back of my head now before pushing the head of his cock past my lips once again. I moaned as he filled my mouth and gave a bit of suction to let him know that I wanted more. It didn’t take us long to get back into the rhythm.
He groaned out in pleasure and lifted his hips to push himself further down my throat, making me gag again. That sound made his cock throb against my tongue, and his fingers curled into my hair.
“Open your eyes, Emilia. Look at me while I come in this hot mouth.”
My eyes flicked up as I tried to breathe through my nose. There was an intense, electric sensation running through me, and my body started to feel weak. I held on tighter to his thighs when I felt his cock jolt uncontrollably in my mouth, and shortly after, a warm, salty taste covered my tongue.
“Don’t swallow,”
he demanded, his jaw tight. His hand came up to my face, and he pushed two fingers into my mouth, coating them with his cum. “You’d do anything for me.”
It wasn’t a question. He knew I would, and so I stayed silent. Not that I was able to speak anyway. I had his fingers in my mouth, his cum mixing with my saliva as he slid them along my tongue.
His eyes darkened as he watched me, completely mesmerized by the way I obeyed without hesitation.
“Good girl,”
he murmured, voice rough with satisfaction. He pulled his fingers from my mouth slowly, and smeared the wetness across my lower lip, his thumb following to press against my chin, keeping my mouth slightly open.
“Now swallow,”
he ordered, softer this time, but no less commanding.
I did, eyes still locked on his. He pushed his semi-hard cock back into his pants before standing up and leaning in to drag me up by the arms until I was standing between his tall frame and his desk. His hands gripped my waist.
His eyes searched my face, and that anger he seemed to only feel for me was back. His jaw ticked under his stubble. “You’ll walk out of this office like nothing happened.”
Another demand. There was no room for me to argue, but I didn’t want to, anyway.
I simply nodded.
His grip on my waist tightened for a split second before he took a step back, hitting his chair with the back of his knees. “Get back to work, Emilia. And wipe that look off your face.”
I furrowed my brows, unable to move just yet. “What look?”
His expression turned sharp, and I knew what he was about to say would hurt me deeply. I braced myself, ready to hear him say another cruel thing.
“The one that makes you look hopeful that this means more.”
My stomach dropped the way it always did when he punched me right in the heart, mercilessly.
He didn’t stop there.
“You’re not special, Emilia. Don’t confuse getting used for pleasure with being wanted.”
I stood there, frozen, the sting of his words hitting hard. He said it so easily. No emotions, no care.
“Now, leave. And close the door on your way out.”
I finally managed to get my legs to work, and I walked around his desk and toward the door before he could see more emotions he’d reject.