Rose
Freedom.
The last time I was free, I was wearing pajamas that cost more money than what I assumed Abel found in that old man’s wallet.
But I wasn’t this happy.
I’ve never been as content as I am now.
“Where are we going?” I yell over the sound of the engine.
Abel looks over at me, a small smile gracing his face. As handsome as he is, he still has that devilish expression about him, whether his face is displaying pleasure or no emotion at all.
Abel, the one who would try to talk someone out of a fight before absolutely pulverizing them, looks the way I should. Like some sort of threat.
“We need to shower and change,” he yells back, punctuating the last word with a long yawn. “And get some sleep.”
He says the last bit low, but I read his lips.
I felt guilty as soon as I’d woken up. And then a bit panicky when I’d noticed I was alone in the parked truck, with no sign of Abel in sight.
When I saw him come out of the store with a bag in his hand and new shoes on his feet, I wanted to rush to him, the way I feel most women would do with their partners.
But most women are filled with romantic love when committing that gesture.
For me, it would’ve been an act of relief, my anxiety having dissipated at the sight of him.
Would I ever be able to perform romantic acts for Abel, simply because?
My eyes land on the hands that grip the steering wheel. There are a few scars on them, small like the ones adorning my arms from my time in Silverwing.
Abel saved me from collecting more.
Abel saved me from looking in the mirror and wondering where the time went, how I got to grow so much in such a small cage.
He saved me from having to kill for the last time in an attempt to never become one of those animals who die in captivity.
Never again.
Filled to the brim with gratitude, I reach for his hand, figuring I could start there. He doesn’t question it, doesn’t even look at me as his fingers interlock with mine, filling in the spaces between mine. A poetic gesture.
A few minutes later, we’re pulling into a parking lot and I stare at the building in front of us once he parks.
“A gym?” I ask, furrowing my brow because surely this isn’t the time for cardio.
He shrugs the shoulder nearest me. “I saw the sign on the highway. We need to shower.”
My lips are pressed together as he faces me. I’m still staring at the building when he touches my chin and turns my head so I’m facing him. “We need money,” I whisper, desperation creeping into my voice as I fight the desire to end the life at the top of my list.
“We need to get out of here,” he whispers back as he starts to twirl strands of my hair between his fingers.
I feel his breath on my face, he’s so close. He said this earlier, and his worry concerns me. Still…
“I know where we can find money,” I tell him, the genius within me finally resurfacing.
“Where?”
I look him in the eye, wishing I could telepathically reassure him before I answer. “My mother.”
Abel opens his mouth and shuts it. It’s moments like these that I don’t quite know what to think. I fall between knowing what he’s thinking and not knowing a thing at all.
“Are you thinking about it?” he asks, still flirting with strands of my hair in a way that seems thoughtless.
I don’t want to lie to him. He deserves the truth. But can he handle it? He’s saddled with me now. There are no walls to keep me from doing what I told him I wanted to do. “Yes.”
He runs the backs of his fingers against my cheek. “Is it not enough to be free, mi espinita? ”
I close my eyes. This is what he wants, what I don’t know I can ever give him. “I don’t know that it ever will be.”
It feels like his eyes are trying to dig the truth from me so that’s what I give him. This is me. I am no one’s angel. I will crave blood no matter how many sweet kisses he gives me. I may never change.
“Our dog bit me once and I beat him so hard, I broke many of his bones. I think that’s when it started for me. My mother buried him and never said a word.” I tell him these things without emotion, hardly remembering whether I reacted afterwards or not. All I remember is the way my emotions felt like fire. Then after, like I’d been dipped in cool water.
I remember the rage, the flash of red, and then the need to retaliate. He ended up having to get put to sleep. After that, we couldn’t have any more pets. My mother claimed it was too heartbreaking when they died but I knew it was because she sensed something in me.
Her daughters were beautiful. Her daughters were perfect.
But one of them was evil.
Abel is silent for a moment. Then he’s pressing another sweet kiss to my lips and getting out of the truck.
I follow, like I hope he always will.