Chapter 2
CHAPTER TWO
DEAN
Why did I continue to go on this trip? I was forced to go the first couple of years, but I doubted they needed me anymore. Their guy friends finally filled out and they all could check into hotels or cabins and buy their own alcohol. Yet here I was, not only driving to their long weekend for them, again, but now it was just me and Shae. It was awkward enough when it was her, my sister, and another friend riding up. But all their friends had moved away and even Jenna got a job far from home. It had never been just the two of us. Ever. In any situation.
I’d imagined this so many times but now that it was happening my stomach was in fucking knots. Shae was always beautiful. Long dark brown hair that was often thrown on top of her head, skin that looked sun kissed year-round, hazel eyes, and those perfect lips with the cutest Cupid’s bow. She also changed into the body of a woman before they made it to high school, but I made sure to avert my eyes since she’s three years younger than I am. But when we took that first trip, she was eighteen. As bad as it sounds, some kind of switch flipped. I was twenty-one, she was eighteen, and a college student. But I knew deep down she was still too young for me. Plus, she was Jenna’s best friend. Had been since they were old enough to share their building blocks. It wasn’t a good idea.
As the years passed, the age difference seemed less and less, especially as she matured. I sometimes wished she’d also found a job somewhere else, but then other times I was glad she stayed nearby.
Who was I kidding? It didn’t matter where she was or that we were going to be stuck in my SUV together for a couple of hours. I’d never make a move. End of story. Plus, she thought I was Jenna’s geeky brother. Sure, it was cool when I was old enough to buy their booze, but now I was just the extra baggage they carried around. They probably continued to invite me out of pity.
My best friend moved away after high school and rarely visited home. We both worked in IT so we were online a lot and stayed in touch. But that’s it. I left the apartment when I needed groceries even though I could have them delivered. It’s my only need to leave the apartment, which was sad, but I forced myself to at least do that much. My friend, Justin, suggested I try to go out sometime or try dating apps, but the idea of talking to strangers didn’t sound fun to me and while I enjoyed the internet and apps for work and play, dating there didn’t sound promising. I’d have to go meet the swipe-righters in person eventually if I went that route.
Maybe one day I’d finally go out and find someone, but it wasn’t that serious to me. I had a great job, my own place, and I kept busy. For the next few days, I’d be around people. Just people I knew, even if they were my sister’s friends. I didn’t have to pretend to be a shiny happy person around them. They just let me exist. If I could remind myself Shae was off limits, I’d be fine.
Pulling into her driveway, I honked then immediately felt like an asshole. Leaving the SUV running since it was chilly out, I jogged up to the door, but it flung open before I could knock.
“Shit, Dean you could’ve knocked. Why’d you honk if you were coming to the door?”
“I came to the door because you were taking so long, and you opened it before I had a chance to knock. You ready?” Well, that came out much snarkier than necessary or intended.
She huffed, her dark hair billowing around her face, not yet pulled back. “Let’s go.”
I didn’t have to worry about moves. She already thinks I’m a prick.