Chapter 7
CHAPTER SEVEN
DYLAN
His last question startles me, and he begins to apologize before I can even answer.
“Oh my god,” he says. “I’m sorry. I just blurted that out. Please ignore me.”
I think about it for a second, deciding what the hell? I’ll answer. “I don’t have a boyfriend.”
“Oh,” he says. “That surprises me.”
“It does?” I ask, quirking my head to the side.
“Yes, very much.”
“Why?”
He looks around, turning his head side to side. “I don’t know if you know this,” he says, “but you’re extremely hot.”
I swallow hard, off balance from his words. “Oh.” That’s all I can manage.
“Sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I just opted for the truth.”
“No, I…” My voice trails off. “I’m just surprised, that’s all.”
“Why?”
“I guess I should opt for the truth, too?”
“Naturally,” he says.
I move my head from side to side, mimicking his motions from a moment ago. “Because you’re, like, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen in person.” I can’t believe I just said that out loud to him.
“So how does that make you surprised by my admission?”
“I don’t know,” I say. “Ever since my dad died, I haven’t worn any makeup or done anything with my hair. I haven’t really cared about what I look like. Plus, I still feel very puffy from all the crying.”
Alex shakes his head. “Well, it’s a shame you don’t feel as beautiful as you look. I think you should take some time to make yourself feel better. But trust me, Dylan. You are beautiful.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“I asked if you had a boyfriend because I thought I made you uncomfortable yesterday when I asked you to stay for a drink,” he says.
“I wanted to stay for that drink,” I say. “God, I thought you were just being nice to the pitiful, sad girl, and I didn’t want to do anything stupid and embarrass myself.”
“Embarrass yourself how?” he asks, a small but mischievous smile forming on his mouth.
“Are we really doing this?”
“I think we have to now.”
“Still complete honesty?”
“There’s no other way.”
I take a deep breath, very aware that I’m about to put it all out there. “I haven’t had sex in so long, I was wondering if my virginity grew back the other day. I haven’t been on a date in the same amount of time. I’ve just been focused on my dad’s health and the store and, well, not me.”
“That’s not really living, though, is it?” he asks.
“It was just survival,” I admit.
“Don’t you think it’s your turn to feel alive again?”
His words weigh heavily on me, hitting me right in the feels. Because he’s right. I don’t know what it’s like to feel alive anymore, to do something solely for myself, to put myself first. I haven’t gotten to do that in a long time. I know my dad didn’t want that for me. He wouldn’t want me shutting down like I have been.
“You’re right,” I say, making eye contact with Alex.
Alex’s arm is resting along the back of the swing behind me, creating this inviting-looking space nuzzled into his side to be on display. It’s like it’s willing me to just lean in and cuddle him.
“May I ask you a rather forward question?” he asks.
I’m sort of liking this open, honest bubble we’re creating. “Sure.”
“Well, I’d like to ask you out on a date,” he says. “And based on what you’ve said, it sounds like you might agree to go out with me?”
I nod in agreement, my eyes fixed on his. They’re a deep brown color with flecks of green in the right light.
He pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Then I think we should kiss.”
A smile spreads across my lips, eyes narrowing on him. “You think… we should kiss?”
“Yes,” he says. “Because what if we go out on a date and have a great time and talk for hours and we’re really feeling each other but we go in for the goodnight kiss, which is inevitable, and then it’s just… no sparks? We’ll have invested all that time and energy, only to be disappointed.”
“So we kiss now?” I ask.
“Right,” he says.
“Because then if it’s awkward, we don’t have to waste our time with the rest?”
“Precisely,” he says. “We can just shake hands as friends and forget we ever had this conversation.”
“It’s a very efficient system,” I say. “Even if it does lack romance.”
“Or it’s very romantic and also a little adorable,” he says. “Consent is sexy.”
I laugh, in agreement, oddly enough. I think about the shit week I’ve had, and the not-so-great life I was living up until this week, too. I deserve good things, right? My dad would tell me that at least once a week. “ You deserve good things, Maggie.” I shove aside the feelings I have about timing and grief and if it’s right to try to date so soon after my dad’s death. I shove aside the inkling of guilt trying to spill over.
“Kiss me, then,” I say.
Alex leans forward from his relaxed position against the back of the swing as he turns his body toward mine, pulling his leg up between us.
“Come here,” he says, reaching his hand out toward me.
I place my small hand into his larger one, his fingers tangling with mine as he pulls me toward him. I slide closer, angling my body in his direction.
His free hand cups my jawline, his thumb coming to rest in the divot right below my bottom lip.
“When I first saw you, I couldn’t take my eyes off your lips,” he says, his eyes floating down to my mouth. He wets his top lip, his tongue sliding over it slowly.
The pad of his thumb presses against my closed mouth.
“Close your eyes,” he whispers.
I do as instructed, inhaling deeply.
His thumb slides down to my chin again as his lips connect with mine. They’re soft to the touch but pressed firmly against me. His hand moves from my jaw back around the nape of my neck, pulling me into him.
I moan against him, warmth spreading over my cheeks and down my throat. Slowly, he licks the seam of my mouth, coaxing it open as his tongue slips inside and laps against mine. With one hand still on my nape, his free hand wraps around my waist, pulling me to his lap. We’re chest to chest, my arms wrapping around his neck as he explores my mouth.
The kiss turns frenzied for a moment, his hands exploring my body, making their way down and cupping the globes of my ass.
He breaks the kiss, slowly peppering little ones over my mouth and cheeks as he presses his forehead against mine, inhaling deeply to regulate his breathing.
“So,” he says. “Would you like to stay a while? Maybe have that glass of wine?”
I giggle, nodding against him. He moves to get up, telling me he’ll be right back. I pull my feet up beneath me, relaxing back into the swing as it creaks back and forth.I run my fingertips over my swollen mouth, the feel of his kiss lingering in the most delicious way.
The sun has dipped below the horizon, all the orange gone from the sky. The stars have started to make an appearance, and I don’t know, here with Alex… it’s the first time I’ve felt like I can breathe since last week.
I don’t know what’s going to happen or how this will play out. I don’t even know what tomorrow holds. But between having a plan for the store and this man—this gorgeous, brilliant man—I finally think maybe the future doesn’t look so bad.
I finally feel like maybe I can do more than just survive.
I finally feel like maybe I can have some of those good things.
The End