Chapter 5
CHAPTER FIVE
IVY
Will and I walk over to the beach, just off the boardwalk. I scan my surroundings and plot my escape if need be. The bar isn't far, but it's just enough distance to make me jittery.
I agreed to hear him out, but I don't care what he says. There will never be a good enough reason for what he did to me. Although, I bear some responsibility for not being upfront with him either.
Will had lost interest in our relationship a while ago, and we ended up here because I refused to be honest with myself. At this point, I don't know if I'm actually angry with him or myself.
As he starts to talk, my mind wanders off to a time when I felt the love I always wanted. Someone who has treated me well, as I deserve to be. My chest constricts as I remember Colter's words after the plane took off.
I search the crowd for Colter; there's a deep-seated need to see him. I want to know he's near, that if I need him, all I would have to do is give him a look, and he'd be here.
Will's standing before me, holding my hand, and asking for understanding. Is it absolution? Yet, I find myself thinking of Colter like I always have.
Will's sudden movement draws my attention, and then he realizes my attention is somewhere else, and he jerks his hand away from mine. "You're not even listening to me, are you Ivy?"
"I'm sorry, I have a lot on my mind. What were you saying?" I pull my lip between my teeth as he glares at me. Biting into my lip, I wondered if he could hear my thoughts.
"I was trying to explain why I didn't make it to The Biltmore. Things have been bothering me for a while; I should've talked to you sooner that I didn't want to get married.
"The thing is, you've changed, and I don't like who you've become. We've grown apart, but if you'd be willing to work on your issues, maybe I would want to try again." Will's words fall hard, crushing me under them.
As tears well behind my eyes, I fight hard to keep them at bay. He's actually blaming me for our failed relationship. Will has never once taken responsibility for anything that we've been through.
My face starts burning, and I can imagine how red it must be right about now. Anger builds deep in my gut as the memories over the past few years come flooding back.
Once again, Will's words and actions fall short of what I need to hear from a man. What I deserve from a person who says they love me. None of this is what I want, and definitely not from a guy who left me at the altar.
"Do you think I want you back?" My voice is louder than I want it to be, but my emotions have gotten the better of me.
Will's features distort, and I recognize what that look means. He's pissed. Will then spits his words at me through clenched teeth. "You need to lower your voice."
"No." I shake my head and back away from him. "I'll never do what you tell me to do again."
His eyes dart around before settling back on me. "Here you go again. Do you have to be so damn dramatic all of the time?"
"No, I don't, but right now, I have every right to be fucking livid. I've spent months trying to understand what I've done to make you fall out of love with me." I seethe in his direction. "It's been a year or more since you've wanted to be with me and six months since you've even touched me. Why would you think I would even consider taking you back?"
"I was told you were devastated, and against my best judgment, I came here to give you another chance." He snaps.
I can't help but to laugh in his face. "Ha! I wish you had left me sooner! The two smartest things you have ever done were to be with me and to leave me at that altar."
"What are you saying?" Will leans into me, wrapping his hand around my wrist and pulling me closer to him to whisper. "You need to choose your next words wisely, Ivy. There will be repercussions."
"Chose my words wisely? Alright, let me see if I can articulate this where even you can understand; go fuck yourself."
"I did not come all this way for you to be a bitch." He berates me, and I begin to break. "If you think any other man will put up with your shit, please feel free to go find one."
"You're right." Through my breaking heart, my spirit rises with my promise to Colter and myself. "I no longer need your help or desire it."
I don't give Will a chance to say anything else as I spin on my heels, walking away from him for the last time. Right now, I can only think about the pact I made with Colter.
"I will be with a man who loves me for who I am and how I deserve to be loved." I've kept my distance for years because he's Rome's best friend, but not anymore.
I only hope he feels the same way about me or that he will give us a chance to be together one day. I'm determined to find Colter and tell him I have loved him for years.
For twelve years, I've yearned for this man to notice me; I had given up and gotten temporarily distracted. Blinded by what I thought love was and disregarded what I wanted out of love.
As it turns out, throwing away a wedding dress is a small price to work up the nerve to tell the love of your life that you know what you want and that it's him.
"Today, no matter what happens, I will tell Colter the truth." I spot him through the crowd and work my way over to him, only to find him with my brother.
And now I'm utterly and completely mute.
I stand there with my mouth hanging open, and nothing comes out. I glance at Rome, silently pleading with him to help me, but my idiot brother stares at me like I'm an alien.
All I can do is imagine what I must look like standing here in front of them, eyes wide as panic builds throughout my body. My face heats as I flush with embarrassment, and I wonder where that badass I was just walking over here with has gone.
Colter's smile widens, spreading across his face as he begins talking. I'm sure he feels like he's saving me from humiliating myself any further. So he continues to speak, and all I want to do is fall into his arms.
He shifts from one foot to the other, and it hits me that he's nervous, too. With that knowledge, I take a much-needed breath and stand on my tip-toes to whisper in his ear.
But instead of saying what I wanted to tell him, he interrupted me by talking first. My heart swells with every word he says, and I want to tell him I feel the same way. Until what he's saying hits me,
"What? Did you say something about Will?" Wait a minute, I need a do-over. No way is Colter declaring his love for me, and my first thoughts are that he's talking about Will and that I need to stop him.
"Yes, Will." Colter looks confused, and I know I am. "I'm asking if you're going to work things out with him?"
My heart stopped beating for a minute there when I thought he was assuming I was still with Will. Once it starts again, I lean in, getting as close to Colter as possible. "I love you, Colter."
"What?" He latches onto my arms and rears back. I watch as the realization sets in, and out of nowhere, he places his hand on my back, pressing me to him, and takes my mouth by storm.
He releases me, and I tilt my head back. "Should I repeat it?"
"Please," he kisses me again. "although I heard you the first time, I've waited so long to hear those words from you."
"Well then, allow me to repeat myself. I love you, Colter." This time, I press my lips to his and pull slightly away. "but promise me we'll not wait so long to say it to each other again."
"Yes, ma'am." He groans as he takes my mouth once again.
Rome clears his throat, dragging us from our newfound haze of love. "Is this where I say you have the rest of your lives for this?"
"Naw, it should be 'you may now kiss the best man,'" Shane nudges Colter and winks.
"Well, I do believe I will." I run my hand around Colter's neck, pulling him to me.
He smiles and replies, "I think you meant to say I will."
"Absolutely not. I refuse to say that person's name ever again. You'll have to settle with "I do' for now." Our mouths meld together to cheers from our family and friends.
Later that night, Colter and I lay in bed talking about our future. I don't want to rush anything. I just got out of a relationship, and no matter how much of a mistake it was, I should take a little time. But how am I supposed to tell him this?
I take a deep breath. "Colter, I do want us to take our time. I know we've both wanted this for a long while, but I also don't want to make the same mistakes."
"I understand; we can take it as slow and as long as you need. I've waited years to be with you; what's a few more months?" Colter takes my hand in his. "Just promise me one thing?"
"What's that?" I ask.
"That you'll marry me." He looks deep into my eyes, searching for an answer if I don't have one.
"I thought you'd never ask," I giggle. "I could've saved the other dress if I had known sooner."
Colter's face twists into anger, and then it hits him that I'm cracking a joke. This man will never forget the way Will hurt me, and honestly, I don't think I ever will either. Even though everything turned out how it should have, it just took a little longer.
Suddenly, Colter hits me with a pillow. "I don't think so! That wasn't even funny."
"Yeah, it really was." I burst with laughter, and we end the night wrapped around one another.