Chapter 3
CARTER
Afew days before the summit…
Carter winced when he attempted to tighten his fingers around the stress ball his physical therapist had been tormenting him with for the last few weeks.
Movement in his leg and hand had improved, but it wasn’t anywhere near as fast as Carter wanted.
He hated how much his fingers still shook when he tried to grasp something or when his leg locked up and he had to continue to rely on a cane to walk, just in case.
“That’s it, Carter. Five more before we move on,” Hugh said. “You’ve got this.”
Frustration ate at Carter when his fingers almost refused to fully close.
But he also couldn’t lie to himself. He didn’t want to attend the summit that weekend.
He wanted to just bury himself in a tub of ice cream, binge rewatch his favorite series Supernatural, and ignore the idea of his true mate possibly being in attendance at the summit.
Nick wouldn’t let him stay home though. His cousin had threatened to pack his bag for him and carry him out of the house.
Carter still took up Nick’s guestroom, despite his multiple attempts to assure Nick he would be fine on his own.
Of course, he needed to find an apartment to rent first. Since he was still on an extended leave of absence from work, his funds weren’t growing, but he could at least afford the first and last months’ rent and security deposit on a place.
But Nick and Thayne refused to take him to look at any of them.
Carter still didn’t trust himself to drive since his right leg could give out at any point.
Huffing in relief, Carter gave the ball the last squeeze and dropped his hand down to his thigh. “Am I ever going to get better?” he asked, his voice low in the small gym Hugh used for his treatments.
Hugh patted his knee. “You will, Carter. You just can’t give up. We all get frustrated and that is normal, but you have to keep going. Let’s start with wall squats.”
Carter groaned and stood from the bench, hobbling over to the wall.
He knew the routine, so he needed little instruction from Hugh, letting the guy move on to the other patients in the gym.
Mindlessly going through the motions, Carter thought over the upcoming summit.
He prayed the fates would be kind and his true mate wouldn’t be at the summit this time.
Not while he was injured and weak. They wouldn’t be that cruel, would they?
Nick continued to push him for information about Darryl and what had happened.
Carter kept the details limited. He didn’t think talking about it would do more than piss Nick off even more.
Nick wanted him to talk to a therapist, but Carter refused.
Embarrass himself in front of someone else?
A stranger, no less? Yeah, so wasn’t happening.
Sweat soaked Carter’s t-shirt by the end of the entire routine for his leg.
Hugh had to help him up off the floor where he’d been doing lifts, and Carter swore when his leg shook.
“Relax, Carter,” Hugh soothed, passing Carter his cane.
“You’re doing so much better than you were a month ago.
Even from a week ago. One day at a time, remember? ”
Carter nodded, panting with exertion. Hugh’s words made sense, but he couldn’t stem his frustration.
He was a freaking wolf shifter with sped up healing abilities.
He should be better already. Oliver had explained that they still knew very little about the brain, even in a shifter’s body.
He hadn’t known why Carter wasn’t healing faster, but he’d attributed it to the time his brain had swelled before they’d relieved the pressure.
Thayne stood leaning against the side of his truck when Carter exited the gym. He straightened and opened the door but, to Carter’s relief, didn’t help him. Thayne understood better than Nick that Carter didn’t want help and instead was a silent soldier, waiting nearby in case Carter needed him.
“How was therapy?” Thayne asked while pulling away from the curb.
Carter shrugged. “The usual.”
Thayne grunted, not pushing Carter to talk—though Carter attributed that partially to Thayne’s lack of need to fill the silence with unnecessary talk.
Carter appreciated Thayne’s quiet ways. Ironically.
Before Darryl, Carter had been a chatterbox.
He’d liked to talk. Now, he just wanted to be left to his thoughts, keeping his mouth shut more often.
Hell, Darryl had used his fists more than once to shut Carter up whenever he’d annoyed Darryl, so he’d learned to just stay quiet.
Maybe now he’d gain some friends, too. None of the pack had wanted to be around him before.
Perhaps in learning to stay quiet, they’d want to stick around.
“Are you looking forward to the summit?” Thayne asked when he stopped at a red light.
Carter once again shrugged. “Not really.”
He sensed the glance Thayne threw his way but ignored it.
“You don’t want to meet your mate?”
“Would you want to meet your mate while injured?” Carter asked, glancing pointedly at his leg and raising his left hand. “Great first impression.”
Frowning, Thayne stepped on the gas. “Your true mate won’t care.”
Frustration bit at Carter. What did Thayne know?
What did any of them know? Thayne hadn’t wanted Nick when they had first met, and Nick had been whole.
Now Thayne wanted to give him advice? “How would you know? You didn’t want Nick at first and he wasn’t dealing with the possibility of needing help the rest of his life. ”
Thayne winced. “It wasn’t like that, shorty.”
“Doesn’t matter. Kasey did the same thing to Seth, right? I don’t want someone to be with me out of obligation.” Carter let loose a growl. “I’m not sure I even want anyone else at all,” he whispered.
Thankfully, Thayne didn’t push, but he did give him concerned glances the rest of the way home.
Nick and Thayne’s home. Carter didn’t have one.
When Thayne pulled his truck into the driveway behind Nick’s beloved Impala, Carter shoved open his door, grabbed the cane, and slipped down to the ground before Thayne could make it around to his side.
His knee threatened to buckle, and Carter grabbed hold of the door handle to steady himself.
Thayne tried to grab his elbow to help him, but Carter gave him a harsh glare, stopping him.
He walked slowly and steadily along the walk to the porch steps, then dragged himself up them one at a time.
The sounds of typing coming down the short hallway let him know Nick was in his office when they entered the house, but Carter went to the kitchen to get a drink, perching on a stool at the counter.
Thayne didn’t join him, heading down the hallway to Nick’s office instead.
Carter knew Thayne would tell Nick about what he’d said in the truck, and it wouldn’t be long before his cousin came to find him.
Carter didn’t want to talk anymore. He just wanted to be left alone.
Talking about what Darryl had done to him wouldn’t change what had happened.
It wouldn’t heal his hand or his leg. Carter was just glad he hadn’t been left with permanent brain damage from his head injury.
At least he could find another way to fill his life rather than hoping for a mate who would probably just end up using him like all the rest had.
“Carter?” Nick said, entering the kitchen.
Tensing, Carter took a sip of the soda he’d grabbed. Nick sighed and sat on the stool in front of Carter. “Please talk to me, Carter. All you could talk about since you first shifted was finding your true mate, and Thayne tells me you no longer want to. Is this because of Darryl?”
Hopelessness and depression struck Carter, and he glared at the can in his right hand. “They’ll be just like all the rest!” he burst out.
“All the rest?” Nick asked.
Tearing up, Carter sniffled. “Using me, wanting to change me, making me hate who I am, then throwing me away when they’re done with me.”
“Oh, Carter,” Nick said, leaning forward to wrap his arms around Carter in a hug.
A sob erupted, and Carter started crying in earnest. He buried his face against Nick’s chest, arms going around his cousin’s waist, and he just let go.
Nick rocked him and rubbed his back but let him cry himself out.
By the time his tears had slowed and Carter quieted, his body felt empty and boneless.
“What’s wrong with me?” Carter asked, broken, his voice ravaged by his cries.
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Nick replied savagely, tightening his grip around him. “You’re a smart, kind, amazing person, Carter, and those men weren’t your true mate. Your true mate will want you, no matter what. They will love you for who you are.”
“But I’m damaged.”
Nick growled. “You are not damaged.”
“I can barely walk on my own and I still need help with basic things because of my hand. Who is going to want to do that for the rest of their life?”
Thayne set a hand on Carter’s shoulder, and Carter looked up at the tall Native American shifter.
“A true mate will do anything for their other half. No matter whether it’s for a day or a lifetime.
They will never consider you damaged, Carter.
Anyone who does is an asshole not worth knowing. Understand me?”
Sniffling, Carter nodded. Thayne gently squeezed his shoulder before heading over to the fridge to prepare something for dinner.
Nick gripped Carter’s chin and raised his gaze to his.
“Will you please consider talking to someone professionally, cuz? There’s a lot going on in that head of yours and getting it out will help. ”
“Okay,” Carter replied after a few moments of hesitation.
Nick gave him a warm smile and hugged him again. “How was physical therapy today?”