Chapter Thirty-Two - Joshua #2
Ryder catches this, too, because he snatches the card she reaches for and sets down the one I need in its place. Instead of reaching for a new card, Elise pauses, confirming my suspicion.
I let my guard down and wear a big smile as I pick up the final card I need.
“Kemps,” Ryder announces.
“Damn it,” Donovan exclaims, but Elise is silent.
Her face turns a deep shade of red, and she glares at me.
I stand and round the table, holding out my hand to her. “It’s time for Miss Consoli and me to retire for the evening.”
The men bid their goodnights, and Elise begrudgingly places her hand in mine. Before we leave, she smiles at Donovan. “We’ll get them next time.”
His answer is a small smile, and I lead her inside.
She doesn’t say a word, and her hand tightens in mine when we step into my room. I notice—for the first time since coming inside—that her posture has gone rigid.
She fiddles with the hem of her shirt and doesn’t meet my eye.
“What’s wrong?”
She shakes her head, still refusing to look at me.
“Elise, talk to me.”
Several seconds pass, and when it’s clear I’m not letting her off the hook without an answer, she sighs.
“You know that I’ve never… been with anyone before, but you’ve never told me…” she drifts off, lifting her reluctantly curious gaze to mine.
I’m fairly sure there’s no good answer to this question, so I might as well go with the truth.
“Yes, I’ve been with other women.”
“How many?”
I know there’s no good answer to this question.
“Enough,” I say with a dispassionate shrug.
Her head drops, and I wonder why the hell she asked in the first place when she knew she wouldn’t like the answer.
“Elise,” I coax, using a hand to lift her chin.
She swats my hand away and walks toward the couch in my room. She doesn’t make it two steps before I take hold of her arm.
“Don’t do that,” I say, holding her firmly in place.
She glares at me. “Do what?”
“Close yourself off because you don’t like where the conversation is going.”
She shakes my arm off, and I let her since she doesn’t attempt to walk away again.
“Excuse me for not liking the idea of being another notch in your bedpost.”
I bark a laugh. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
Her expression indicates that she is, in fact, not kidding me.
I roll my eyes and hold out my arms to either side. “You think I work this hard just to get laid?”
“I think you talk about sex like it doesn’t mean anything,” she snaps.
“It didn’t mean anything,” I answer simply. “None of it meant anything. Not until you. You think I go around kidnapping just anyone?”
A short laugh breaks through her anger, which I suspect is a cover for what she’s actually feeling right now.
“What’s really wrong?” I ask.
Her eyes soften, though they take on an edge of insecurity as they flick briefly to the bed.
She swallows. “You’re used to women with experience, and I don’t want to be a—”
“Don’t you dare finish that sentence,” I say, though it sounds more like an order.
I don’t know what’s more absurd, that she thinks I expect her to have sex with me tonight or that she thinks she could disappoint me.
I take Elise’s face between my hands. “My one and only expectation for tonight is that you sleep by my side. That is it. And even if I were asking for more”—I shake my head—“I can’t begin to explain how insignificant every woman in the world is next to you.”
This relaxes her, but only marginally.
“So, you don’t want to…” she drifts off again.
“If you’re asking if I want to have sex with you, the answer is yes, but only when you’re ready.
That particular aspect of our relationship is yours to dictate,” I tell her and level her with an honest sincerity.
“But you should know, Elise, once I have you, I am never letting you go. Remember that.”
She lifts her eyebrows, and her reservations seem to wane as an attitude edges her tone. “So, you won’t touch me?”
I laugh again. “I won’t cross a line we haven’t already crossed.”
“Good,” she says, taking a step to close what little distance there is between us. She presses her hands to my chest, and her cheeks tint red. “I don’t want you to stop touching me.”
I answer by taking her lips with mine, holding her face between my hands.
Like all our kisses, Elise comes alive when our lips meet.
The tension in her muscles eases as my hands wander down her body, and the feeling is thrilling.
She throws her arms around my neck, and I sweep her into my arms. I carry her to the bed and fall on the mattress first, wrapping my arms around her so she’s trapped against me, but I’m careful to avoid putting pressure on her back.
If the card game was intense, then kissing Elise is all-consuming. It doesn’t feel like time is flying—it feels as though time simply doesn’t exist. When her lips move against mine, nothing else matters.
Her hands slowly trail down the front of my body, like she’s taking care to memorize every inch of me, and damn, it feels good. When one hand reaches my waistband, Elise splays her fingers over my skin, just barely reaching up my shirt. It’s a hesitant motion like she’s unsure how I’ll react.
To answer her unspoken question, I sit up just enough to tug my shirt over my head and toss it to the floor.
She pauses, taking in the gesture—as well as the view—and the expression on her face is enough to make my chest tight with every feeling I would’ve suppressed before she came into my life.
She looks at me with the same awe that I feel for her. When she looks at me like that, I swear I could move mountains.
I reach up, cupping her face in my hands, and gently pulling her lips back to mine.
She obliges, blush creeping back up her cheeks as she does.
When her body is flat against mine, her hand returns to my waist. She spreads her fingers over my skin, gently digging them in like she’s trying to leave her fingerprints indented on me.
Her hand slowly moves up my body, tracing over my stomach, chest, and biceps. The feeling of Elise’s lips on mine while her small, delicate hands wander over my body is unlike anything I have ever felt before. It makes her earlier worry of disappointing me beyond laughable.
There is no one like Elise.
And if she chooses to leave me after this month, I can’t say with certainty that I will be able to honor that decision.