Chapter 8
lilah
The school tuck shop was one of my favourite places on campus.
It was in the same building as the only coffee shop, Heart’s Coffee, but was only open for an hour at lunch and after classes ended for the day.
I was thoroughly convinced the place existed outside of the limits of time, because every time I went in, I felt like I was there for hours but only ten or fifteen minutes had passed by the time I came out.
Mix that with the constant fluorescent lighting, smell of cheap coffee mixed with floor cleaner, and shelves filled with crap that nobody needed, it felt like the most magical place in the world.
With a couple of hours to curfew, Saylor, Poppy and I wandered inside the store.
We’d been having a girls’ night in—the perfect time for me to tell them about Tino’s ridiculous plan that I was somehow going along with—when we realized we had no snacks, so now we were wandering the aisles dressed in pajama pants and tank tops because none of us were willing to get dressed again just for this.
“Okay,” Poppy said as we wandered down the candy aisle, probably looking like we’d all just woken from a dead sleep.
She was wearing her grey fuzzy blanket around her shoulders like a shawl so she could hold a purple shopping basket in her hands.
“We need something sweet, something salty, and something blue for Saylor to eat at the hockey game on the weekend.”
“I thought it would be the slushy again,” I said, glancing at Saylor. She’d had one at the hockey game two weeks ago and the team won, so now the boys were insisting she had to keep doing the same. I wasn’t sure why Poppy was bringing it up now, since we would obviously get it at the game.
“No chance,” Saylor said adamantly, shaking her head and making her high ponytail swing back and forth. She shoved her hands into her hoodie pocket and looked disdainfully toward the machines at the back. “Last time I thought my tongue was permanently stained.”
“But something blue is tradition, so we’ll get something here!” Poppy said brightly.
“Is it really tradition if I only did it twice?” Saylor asked.
“How do you think traditions are created? You have to repeat it.”
“But I don’t want it to be tradition. I like my tongue the color it is.”
I trailed after them, half-listening to what they were saying, but the mention of hockey made my mind drift back to Tino and, more importantly, to his suggestion.
The deal I’d agreed to. Since walking away from him, I’d questioned my decision about a thousand times but I knew that it was pretty much the only option available to me.
Not to mention that it was too late to back out now—I hadn’t seen Tino since then, but who knew how many people he’d already confirmed the rumour to.
Poppy turned around and squinted at me. “You’re quiet.”
“Am I?”
“Yes.” She pointed at me accusingly. “You have that look.”
I raised my brows. “The look?”
“The one where you’re…” She waved her hand around. “Scheming.”
I grimaced. “I don’t have a scheming face.”
Saylor pulled a bag of chips off the shelf and tossed it into the basket. “She’s been like that all week. Bet it has something to do with Tino.”
“What?” I asked. “Why would it have anything to do with him?”
But I must have sounded too defensive, because Poppy gasped dramatically. “It does have something to do with him!”
I sighed. “Can we not do this in the snack aisle?”
“I think the snack aisle is the perfect place to have this conversation,” Saylor countered.
Then they both stopped what they were doing and just stared at me, clearly waiting for me to crack.
If it was something I was actually trying to keep a secret, I would have deflected and kept walking until they got the hint, but seeing as I knew I had to tell them about this tonight, I decided I would just rip the band-aid off.
Glancing around to make sure there weren’t any prying ears around, I took a deep breath and said, “Fine. You want to know? Tino and I have decided to…” Even though it was all just pretend, I felt like I was swallowing a lemon as I said, “go along with the rumours and say we’re dating.”
For a second, neither of them said anything.
Then Poppy screamed.
At the far end of the store by the drink fridges, two freshman girls jumped and stared our way with wide eyes. I smiled weakly, hoping it was enough to reassure them that we weren’t dying, then grabbed my roommate’s arm.
“Poppy!” I hissed. “Keep your voice down!”
“Sorry,” she whispered, eyes huge. “But—dating Tino?”
“Fake dating,” I hissed again, my eyes darting back over to the freshmen girls. They still hadn’t looked away.
Poppy ignored me. “Lilah, this is the most romantic thing I’ve ever heard.” I highly doubt that. “How did this happen? Why didn’t you tell us sooner? Has this been going on all week and you—”
“It’s not romantic,” I interrupted. “And no—you’ve seen me denying it all week. It wouldn’t be a very good fake relationship if I was doing that, now would it?”
Saylor crossed her arms. “So, what changed?”
“Nobody will let it go.” I continued down the aisle, in the opposite direction from the freshmen.
We wandered slowly, Poppy still grabbing stuff off the shelves every couple of seconds.
“Everyone thought we were together after that stupid photo from the costume store and since the rumors only seem to get worse every time we deny it, we’ve decided to just roll with them.
Hopefully if we tell everyone we’re dating, they’ll get bored of it within a couple weeks and this will all be over. ”
“That’s…” Saylor tilted her head. “Actually kind of smart.”
“Thank you,” I said pointedly, even though it wasn’t even my idea.
“But also extremely stupid,” she added.
“Less thank you,” I muttered, now wishing I hadn’t taken so much credit for it.
Poppy grabbed my arm. “Wait, so you’re going to, like, date in public? Hold hands and sit together at lunch and go on pretend dates and all that?”
“Well yeah, that’s kind of the point.”
Poppy looked like she’d just won the lottery. “Our whole friend group is together now! I mean, not Mako but we’ll find him a girl. The point is—”
“That he and I aren’t actually together,” I reminded her in a quiet voice so nobody else would hear. “Don’t get used to this, Poppy. It’s all going to be over within a month, I guarantee it.”
She completely ignored me. “You have to do something cute together to really announce it. Like wear matching scarves or bake cookies or—oh! Submit photos for the school blog that sophomore is starting! It’ll look so natural.”
“I’d rather drink one of those neon slushies,” I muttered.
“Done,” Saylor said, already heading for the frozen drink machine by the front counter.
“Wait—no!”
She grinned over her shoulder. “Maybe you’ll end up loving it and it can become your tradition instead.”
Poppy trailed after her, humming happily to herself. I sighed and followed. While Saylor filled a large cup with the toxic blue slush, Poppy lined up candy on the counter like she was conducting an orchestra. “Okay, so, ground rules. You need to at least look like you enjoy his company.”
“I do enjoy his company,” I said. Then I paused and added, “You know, when he’s not speaking.”
Saylor snorted. “That’s going to sell the illusion.”
“You know, Lilah, this could actually be good for you,” Poppy said.
I frowned. “How?”
“Well, you’ve kind of avoided dating,” she pointed out. “And I’ve always gotten the idea that it’s partially because of Tino.”
“It is not—”
“I think,” Poppy said, totally cutting off my protests, “that you’ve always wondered what it could be like if you and Tino got together. It’s holding you back. And maybe testing it out like this can help you see if this is what you want.”
“What I want,” I said, “is for people to stop talking about my love life like it’s a group project.”
“Too late,” Saylor said. Then she shoved the blue monstrosity at me. “Drink up.”
When we got to the register, the bored-looking student worker scanned our snacks without comment.
Saylor swiped her student card to pay for it—she always insisted on doing so since her parents loaded ridiculous amounts of money onto it for her—and then the three of us stepped back out into the cool night air.
The path back to the dorms was mostly empty and the only sound in the evening air was our sneakers crunching against the gravel as we walked.
Poppy linked her arm through mine. “So, when’s your first fake date?”
“Tomorrow, I guess,” I said. “We’re meeting at lunch so people can see us together.”
“Aw,” she cooed. “You’re already scheduling couple time.”
“It’s called a cover story,” I said.
Poppy started humming “Kiss the Girl” from The Little Mermaid.
“Stop,” I said.
“Shalalalala—don’t be shy—”
“Poppy—”
“—you wanna kiss the girl—”
“You’re fired as my best friend,” I announced, pulling my arm from her and walking ahead of them.
But she and Saylor both just laughed and chased after me, the plastic bags of food hitting their legs with every step.
By the time we reached the dorm steps, I was out of breath from running and laughing.
Poppy collapsed against the railing, giggling.
“Okay, fine, but seriously—this is going to be so much fun. I can feel it.”
“Fun is not the word I’d use,” I said.
Saylor smirked. “Oh, come on, Lilah. Admit it. You’re a little excited.”
I hesitated. Because maybe, deep down, I kind of was. Not about Tino, obviously. Just… about the idea of something new.