Chapter 9 #2
I tried to look unfazed, like holding hands with Michael Valentine at breakfast was just my regular morning routine. It wasn’t convincing. My heart was somewhere up near my throat.
But then the silence turned to whispering, filling the room with “I told you so” and money passing hands like people had genuinely been betting on whether we were together—or maybe, when we would “finally” admit the truth after denying it all week.
This was a terrible idea.
I took a deep breath and tried to remind myself of why this would work.
Sure, it felt like everyone was staring at us now even more than they had been for the first few days, but the fire had to burn bright before it could die down.
It would only be a few days of this before everyone moved on, and within a couple of weeks we could silently break up without anyone caring.
It will be over soon, I reassured myself again.
“Relax,” Tino murmured as we reached the exit.
“I am relaxed,” I said stiffly.
“You’re squeezing my hand like you’re trying to cut off circulation.”
“Oh,” I muttered, immediately loosening my grip. Now it was more like he was holding my limp hand but he didn’t complain. “Sorry.”
I expected him to split away from me as soon as we reached the academic building since his first class was in the opposite direction as mine but he walked along with me in the direction of my classroom.
I kept glancing at him, trying to figure out what his plan was, but I couldn’t read his expression enough to make any sense of it.
He grinned at anybody who looked our way as we walked by, paused for long enough to exchange a couple sentences with a boy from the hockey team without letting go of my hand, and made absolutely zero indication that he might need to turn back.
As we rounded a second corner, taking us almost as far away from the main entrance as possible and on the complete opposite side of school from his first period class, I’d had enough.
I tightened my grip on his hand and stepped out of the stream of students into a small nook between two classrooms. We had to stand pressed up against a blue bulletin board announcing all the “Beginning of Winter Activities!” and Tino looked it over with interest.
“Hey, now that we’re dating, we should go to the winter carnival,” he said, pointing to the flyer for it. It was at the beginning of December. “Funny how life works out, huh?”
It took me a second to understand what he meant by that until I remembered last weekend when he’d suggested it as a good first date. I wasn’t even sure if we would still be keeping up this charade by then, but I ignored it for the time being.
“You’re not supposed to walk this way,” I said.
Tino frowned. “By the bulletin board?”
“No, toward these classrooms,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“I’m not?” he asked as if that was news to him, a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
I felt like I was playing into one of his jokes but I still crossed my arms and said, “Not unless you’ve completely changed your schedule in the past twenty-four hours.”
“Keeping tabs on me, Turner?”
I scowled. “I know all my friends’ schedules. It’s easier this way.”
He looked around like he was checking if anyone was around then murmured, “I’m your friend?”
I wasn’t sure why those three words made my face burn even more than walking around holding his hands did. I shoved his chest and he moved back again with a laugh.
“Of course you are, you idiot,” I muttered, but I avoided his gaze. Did he not consider himself my friend? Or did he just think that because I always turned down his advances that I wouldn’t consider him one?
“Well as your friend,” he said, squeezing my hand like he was telling me we were slipping back into the ruse, “I think it’s my duty to walk you to class, don’t you?”
“I…” I hadn’t realized how out of my element I would be in doing this.
Either Tino was a lot more experienced in relationships than I was (doubtful since he’d spent years asking me out) or he’d done a lot of research last night in preparation for this.
It never would have occurred to me that he should walk me to my class when his was on the other side of the school, but he was looking at me so earnestly right now like it would be the highlight of the day. “Uh, okay.”
He smiled and stepped back out into the rush of students walking down the hall.
Everyone was focused on getting to class, but I still felt like I was being stared at from all sides, and I couldn’t tell if it was just a lingering feeling from the dining hall or if everyone was being subtle about it.
If I was wrong and it was actually paranoia, then I was getting incredibly self-centered for thinking everyone cared about me this much.
“If you’re going to do this every day, we should probably start leaving breakfast earlier,” I said, glancing at my watch.
I didn’t see any way he could get across the school before the first bell unless he flat-out sprinted, which would obviously get him in trouble with the teachers. “You’re going to be late.”
He shrugged. “I’m sure my teacher will understand once I explain that I had to walk you to class. I’m pretty sure she’s as invested in our relationship as everyone else.”
I snorted. “Well that’s horrifying.”
“But I’m not sure your teacher feels the same so we should probably go,” Tino said.
He interlaced our fingers again and pulled me back out into the hall.
A quick glance at my watch told me I was barely going to make it on time so I picked up the pace.
Tino laughed and started walking faster as well, keeping up with me easily because of his long legs.
“Maybe I should get you to start giving me a piggyback ride to class every day,” I said. “It would be much faster.”
He looked like he was genuinely considering it even though I’d said it as a joke, but before he could even consider trying it, we were at my classroom door—which, I noted, he stopped in front of without me needing to point it out.
Apparently I wasn’t the only one who had memorized my friends’ schedules.
I was ready to just walk right in, but Tino pulled me back. He glanced into the room then turned to me with a smile on his face that made me immediately nervous.
“So, I guess I’ll see you at lunch,” he said.
And then, before I could react in any way, he rested his hand on the back of my neck and leaned in to kiss me.
I was completely taken off guard as his lips pressed to mine and I mainly just stood there until he pulled away again.
But I guess I wasn’t too bad at it because he smiled.
The bell rang, cutting off any reply I could make, and as I expected, he took off running down the hallway to get to his own class in a reasonable amount of time.
I walked into the classroom as if I was in a trance, just aware enough to avoid bumping into anyone’s desks and to hear everyone’s whispers.
Sure, they could have been chatting about any number of things, but I was pretty sure I heard my name more than once.
I dropped into my usual seat, staring listlessly ahead of me. And then, without consciously thinking about it, I ran my fingers over my lips. When had they gone all tingly like that?
“Tino kissed me,” I whispered to myself, realizing a moment too late that somebody might find it weird I was saying that about my supposed boyfriend. But when I glanced around, nobody seemed to have noticed.
Tino kissed me, I repeated in my mind. The thought repeated again and again, until it seemed like it was the only thought I would ever have again.