7. Leila
7
LEILA
I’m pretty sure getting hit by a bus would hurt far less than the pain of hearing Kyle call me sweetness. I can’t stop the tears that well up. I’m exhausted, I’m terrified, I’m worried about my colleagues, and that was the last thing I needed on top of everything else going on in this shitshow.
As we make our way cautiously back to the rendezvous point, I’m sandwiched between Kyle and the new team member, Phantom. I really didn’t mean he replaced Maverick on the team. As Kyle said, there’s no replacing the legend that was John. Thoughts of the man who was lost flood my mind. A giant of a man with a heart to match. And Sheri had been his world. It was the most beautiful thing to see them together.
Sheri and I became best friends from the time we met at a barbeque Kyle took me to at their house. After that day, the four of us were inseparable, to the point they even asked Kyle and I to be their children’s godparents. Until the day John took a bullet to protect their asset – the father of another team leader’s fiancée.
John’s death about killed Sheri. But something definitely died in Kyle that day too. He was a changed man when they got back from that train wreck of a mission. Two weeks later, the day we put Maverick to rest, Kyle walked out of my life. Grieving our friend and losing the man I loved, I wasn’t sure I’d survive. To be honest, I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
But God bless Sheri, despite her own devastating loss, she dragged me kicking and screaming back into the land of the living. Leaning on each other, we slowly pieced ourselves back together. It hurt like a bitch the day I discovered Kyle had stayed in contact with her after everything.
Our friendship hit a rocky patch when I found out, and it took a while to come to terms with it. I’m not proud of the way I handled things when I discovered this tidbit — I mean, it wasn’t her fault Kyle left me. But I couldn’t help it. I was hurting . Then I learned that it was standard practice for teammates of fallen brothers to keep a watchful eye over their families. Didn’t make it hurt less, but I got it.
Over the past five years, our friendship has deepened, and she’s more like my sister from another mister than merely a best friend. And I’m deeply grateful for her presence in my life during what I now think of as “the hell years” keeping me sane. God, what I wouldn’t give to be able to call her and pour my heart out to her right this second as I reel from the multiple blows of seeing Kyle and hearing him call me by that endearment again.
Not paying attention to the two men protecting me, I bump right into Phantom as he stops abruptly. He first folds his hand into a fist, and I’m about to ask what’s going on when he puts a finger to his lips, and I freeze. Did he hear something I missed? It wouldn’t be impossible considering how wrapped up I was in my own misery. Now I’m quietly freaking out. Has our luck run out? Are we about to be discovered? My heart pounds in my ears and nausea churns in my belly.
I jerk so hard when Kyle puts his lips right next to my ear and whispers that everything’s fine, I’m surprised I didn’t bump my head against his. Apparently, Phantom’s just being careful as we come up on the rendezvous point in case there’s any “hostiles” moving around the hallways.
I nod my understanding and feel him step back some. Immediately, I miss his heat at my back. After long, tense moments, Phantom shows us it’s safe to continue. Barely two minutes later, he opens a door and goes into the room. His big body blocks my view, but as he steps to the side, I come face-to-face with Ace.
Once again, treacherous tears flood my eyes as I stare at a man who meant so much to me when Kyle and I were together. I mean, they all did, but next to John, he was my next favorite of Kyle’s friends. I haven’t seen him, or any of the other guys on the team, since the day Kyle left.
His eyes grow big and his jaw about drops to the floor as he gets a look at me. It would be funny if the situation we find ourselves in weren’t so scary. Well, scary for me, at the very least.
“Holy shit. Leila.”
He jumps to his feet and dashes to where I’m standing, engulfing me in the biggest hug. At first, I just stand there, stiff as a plank, but then he goes and says something so sweet I burst into tears and melt into his embrace.
“God, I’ve missed you, girl. Nothing’s been the same since we lost you and Mav.” I wrap my arms tight around him and hang on like a limpet. He rubs a soothing hand up and down my back. “Shh, I’ve got you, doll.”
I hiccup back a sob and rest my head against his chest. I hate to cry in front of others, and I’m trying my best to get myself under control, but after everything that’s happened in the last however many hours it’s been, I’m struggling to get a lid on my emotions. Finally, I feel like I’ve got a handle on it and lift my head. Looking directly into his eyes, I smile.
“It’s good to see you, Kevin.”
He smiles back and gives me a last quick squeeze, dropping a quick kiss on the top of my head, before letting me go. I hear someone clear their throat and look over at Kyle and Phantom. Kyle looks like he’s chewing glass, and Phantom is grinning like a loon.
“If the two of you are done with your reunion, do you suppose we could focus on the task at hand?”
“You’re just jealous I got to grope your girl,” Ace quips, a smirk on his handsome face, and I swear I hear Kyle grind his teeth.
Yet nothing shows on his face, so maybe I’m wrong.
Right then, the door opens again and another four familiar faces file into the room. Initially, there’s a bit of a pile up as Cougar, first through the door, stumbles to a halt and stares like he’s seen a ghost.
“Hey dude, what’s the idea? Move so the rest of us can get in, man,” Hot Sauces says.
He steps aside, and the other three do a double take as they, too, spot me standing next to Ace.
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Blade is the first to speak.
First to recover, Cougar grabs me up in a bear hug. One by one, I get passed around so each man gets the chance to hug me. When everyone’s had a turn, I find myself standing next to Phantom.
“Are we all hugged out and ready to get down to the task at hand, or would you like to gather ?round and we’ll sing a rousing rendition of ‘Kumbaya’ before we go rescue those hostages in the dining room?”
Phantom grins down at me, winks, and then says, “Ah, fuck it. Everyone else’s had a turn. Why not?” And he, too, hugs me.
This time, I’m willing to put money on it that I hear Kyle growl. But, once again when I look over at him, his face is blank. Clear of all expression, in fact. And I can’t help the harsh pang of pain around my heart.
“Okay, all hugged out now,” Phantom quips.
The glint in his eye tells me he’s enjoying the hell out of needling Kyle. And, yet again, my heart takes another hit. I like Phantom, from the little interaction I’ve had with him. Under different circumstances, I feel we could have been friends.
The enormity of what I lost when we broke up hits me, and I struggle to shake off the despair that threatens to drag me back down.
The glint in Kyle’s eye is of a different kind. At first, I think he’s going to rip into Phantom, but eventually all he says is, “Time to quit jacking around and get this situation shut down. We’ve got people counting on us to end this as quickly and safely as we can.” I barely hear his words as I work hard to stave off more tears.
All business now, they crowd around Ace and the equipment he’s monitoring. Talking in a shorthand I’m clueless about, they come up with a plan. When it becomes apparent that their plan includes them leaving the relative safety of the room we’re currently in, I want to protest. My heart is in my mouth as I watch them exit the room, two-by-two until it’s just Ace and me left. And all I can do is pray that when all of this is over, they all come back. Safe and unharmed.
I have no idea how long I stand staring at the now closed door. When eventually I turn, I find Ace’s eyes on me, a sad expression in his eyes.
“You doing okay, doll?”
“A little freaked out — well, a lot freaked out, but I’m unharmed, so yeah, I guess.”
“That’s good, but not what I meant. Is life treating you well? Have you been doing all right since I saw you last?”
Something inside me snaps at his words. My nerves are raw and emotions in absolute turmoil, and his words tip the scale into overwhelm.
“With respect, Kevin, your concern is five years too late.”
Ace recoils, his face a mask of hurt. “Lee —”
Drawing a deep breath, regret already tugging at me, I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
“Regardless, it’s both how you feel and, more to the point, accurate. I’m sorry. I should have —” His words are interrupted by Kyle, the words low enough that I can’t quite catch what he’s saying. But clearly Ace does.
His attention now solely focused on the task at hand as he feeds Kyle and the team information, I draw a shaky breath and try to calm my pounding heart. If I escape this floating hellhole, I can only pray it’s without having a heart attack first.
I wander over to the porthole and look out to find absolute darkness beyond the glass. An uneasy shiver travels down my spine, and I turn away, studying the small cabin Ace and I are in. Since it’s on the main deck and has a desk in the center, I can only assume it’s an office.
There’re a couple of chairs tucked into opposite corners and some cabinetry. Generic artwork hangs on the wall. The carpet underfoot is less vibrant than that of the dining room, but no less tasteful. As I turn back to the desk to study all the gizmos and gadgets Ace has laid out on its surface, I find the man’s eyes on me. That same sad expression I noticed earlier still there.
With zero emotional bandwidth left to deal with any kind of personal conversation, I go over to one of the tub chairs and curl myself into it. Time passes, the only sound in the room the radio chatter Ace is monitoring as the team does what they do best — save people.
After who knows how long, Kyle’s rich baritone announces that the situation “is in hand and the hijackers have been contained”. I have no idea if that’s a euphemism for something, and I don’t care. All I do care about is that we’re finally safe.